Okay, so my ultimate concern is that all beings will laugh when they notice how seriously we take ourselves, especially our own selves, and by not taking themselves so seriously they will be free of suffering. So we have practices which basically express or try to enact or embody or remind this not taking ourselves too seriously, and the one that I always harp on is what we call Being Upright. It's also the title of my upcoming book, Being Upright.

[01:07]

Being Upright is the words I use to express not taking myself too seriously. If I see somebody else in this world who is not taking themselves too seriously, I'm looking and I think, oh, great, she's upright. Being upright means when you're sitting upright, you're just sitting upright. When you're walking, you're just walking.

[02:12]

And you don't expect anything at all other than what you're doing. If we take ourselves a little too seriously, we think that there should be something more than just what we're doing, that we should do something and then what? We're just kind of like what we are, and when we're doing something, that's all we can do. And therefore, to do something without expecting anything further is what I'd call Being Upright, and it's also what's called being free of taking yourself too seriously. You're lying down, you're lying down with no and then what? You know, like you lie down at night, you might lie down and say, okay, now I'm going

[03:17]

to go to sleep. I'm lying down and then there's going to be sleep, right? That does happen sometimes, but how about lying down and just lie down first of all, and then see what happens later. But first of all, just be lying down. That's being upright. When you stand up, just stand up. This means also that when you're standing up, you are willing to be in the position of standing. When you're standing up in a certain group of people, you're willing to be with that group of people. If you're lying down, you're willing to be lying down.

[04:20]

If you're lying in a certain bed, you're willing to lie in that bed that you're lying in. Basically, it means that you're willing to be in whatever circumstances you find yourself, or you're willing to be in whatever is happening. Not only are you willing to be in whatever is happening, but you choose to be in whatever is happening. Tonight, before I came over here, I was in a situation of being at Tassajara before a lecture that I was supposed to give,

[05:29]

and I was having trouble being willing to be in that situation. And partly because I thought about the situation of coming over here, and I was having trouble being willing to come here and give this talk. I was having trouble being upright. It's not easy to be upright. So I kind of leaned back a little bit, kind of leaned back sort of like... I kind of cringed from giving this talk. What I cringed from was I cringed from my thoughts about what it would be like when I got here.

[06:38]

So, another way to put it is, being upright is being willing to be in what I think is happening. In fact, we always are and have no choice about being in what's happening, but when we think about what's happening, then our opinion or our view of what's happening, we may wish not to be there. But I propose that if I'm willing to be in what I think is happening, I get to realize being in what is happening. Not because they're the same, but because being willing to accept my own delusion also situates me in reality. Because, in fact, it is reality that I have a delusion about what's happening.

[07:45]

Sometimes my delusion about what's happening, I am willing to inhabit and be there. Sometimes I'm dying to come up here and give a talk, because what I think is going to happen is that it's going to be a good talk, and I want to be there for it. Tonight, I thought it was not going to be a good one, so I didn't want to come. And part of the reason why I didn't think it was going to be good was because I imagined that the students, the residents of Tassajara, were going to be asleep. Not so much because I was giving a bad talk, but just they would arrive sleeping from a hard day's work. But they aren't asleep. Now they may go to sleep after I start talking, but they weren't. You weren't arrived, I thought you were going to be asleep by the time I got here, and sure enough, you weren't. But still, I came to give this talk even if you were all asleep, and waste my little pearls on sleepers.

[08:59]

I was willing to enter the world of you people not listening to me, because that's what I wanted to talk about. It's a willingness and choosing to come up here and talk to you guys and have you not listen. I chose to come up here even if that happens. This is an example of moving towards, if not completely realizing, not taking myself so seriously. That I would come into a situation and stand up here and be so silly as to give a talk to people who are sleeping. But I was willing to come and do that. Not as an act of simply inhabiting what happens or what's happening. Now I'm trying to be here with you paying attention and being awake.

[10:06]

It's actually easier than if you were asleep, thanks. But basically, being upright means that. It means that you're willing to be in whatever's happening, moment by moment. Pain, embarrassment, anxiety, fear, insult, heat, fatigue, not being able to go to sleep, on and on. Whatever it is, uprightness is being willing to be there. Without expecting anything. And if I'm willing to dwell in whatever is happening, that willingness, that spirit of willingness to dwell in whatever is happening,

[11:16]

gives rise to a mind which is dwelling nowhere. The mind which is willing to dwell anywhere is a mind that dwells nowhere. And the mind that dwells nowhere is the mind which doesn't take itself seriously. It's the mind which also teaches others how to be free of taking themselves too seriously. So being upright is the gate into the mind of the being who saves all beings.

[12:32]

It's the gate into the mind of, first of all, the bodhisattva, the being of infinite compassion. Because if you're willing to inhabit any situation, the mind of no abode dawns upon your life. And that mind of no abode can listen to what's happening. But it's hard to listen to what's happening if you're not willing to be in your body, behind your ears. If you can inhabit this body without expecting anything, you may be able to start to hear your own suffering and the suffering of other beings. Listen to your own anxiety and the anxiety of other beings.

[13:33]

But, again, it's difficult because sometimes the things that other beings say to you when they express their anxiety really presses on your sense of self. And if you take yourself too seriously, it's hard to listen to it without bending backwards or trying to get out of there or beat them back. And they may be great bodhisattvas that are telling you this stuff which is pushing on your self, this slightly inflated self. So being upright doesn't mean you resist this information, even though it kind of pushes on you a little bit and squeezes you and chokes you, because their anxiety may cause you to feel anxious.

[14:36]

It doesn't mean you push it back and try to open your throat for more air. It means you choose to be receiving this negative feedback only because you are. You don't say, okay, give me negative feedback, come on. It's just that when it comes, you try to be there and say, I choose to be here. It's not like, everything's okay, everything's okay, everything's okay. It's more like, I choose to be here where everything doesn't exactly seem to be okay. It looks pretty bad right now, especially for me. Or, it looks pretty bad for my friends, but I choose to be here because this seems to be what is happening. It's not exactly true that this is what's happening, it's just what I think is happening. It sounds like I'm being criticized, it sounds like they don't like me, it sounds like they think I'm a fool.

[15:39]

It sounds like that, I think that might be what's happening, I'm not sure, but anyway that's what it feels like, and I choose to be here. Because I don't take myself that seriously, right? So, if they don't like me, it's not that big a deal. What is a big deal, however, for me, a big deal is, am I willing to be here? That's a big deal, that's my biggest deal. Second, there's some other things which are sort of big deals, like, do they like me or not, or do they hate me, but they're actually much smaller. In my heart, they're like, practically, I don't care about them at all. But I care a lot about whether I'm willing to be here to receive, well, praise of course, but blame too. And then, can I just be there for the praise?

[16:50]

Well, now what? What next? More praise? What am I supposed to do now that you praise me? And also blame, well what? No, just be there. And if you can be there, you will have the appropriate response to that praise, to that blame. And that appropriate response will show all beings an example of somebody who doesn't take herself seriously, and is free because of that. So my book is about the relationship between being upright and the Bodhisattva precepts, like the precepts we recited last night. So, for example, being upright is to refrain from all evil.

[17:56]

Same thing. But refrain from all evil doesn't mean like there's some evil in the neighborhood and you lean backwards. It also doesn't mean you lean forward. It doesn't mean you try to stop your hand from reaching out and doing it. It doesn't mean you reach out and do it. It means you don't lean either way. It means you don't lean into evil exists. It means you don't lean back into evil doesn't exist. It means you understand that evil neither exists nor does not exist. It's not existent and it's not non-existent. Evil doesn't belong in either one of those categories. But you may find yourself in a situation where evil is appearing, and if that's where you are, you're willing to be there.

[19:01]

As a matter of fact, you choose to be there, without saying this evil exists, this evil does not exist. This is evil, this is not evil. You don't do that. That's leaning. That's taking yourself too seriously. That's taking yourself very seriously as the judge of good and evil. That's making yourself into the celestial boss, the judge of the universe, at least right here. Now, I may think, ah, he looks kind of evil. Looks like he looks kind of like a devil. I may think that, that's okay. But it would be taking myself very seriously to actually think, I actually see the devil and I'm actually having a vision, a correct vision of spotting a devil. And he may even agree with me, so that really proves that I'm a pretty sharp guy.

[20:04]

I said to somebody one time, I was over in that garden there, I said to somebody one time, I don't believe what I'm thinking you are. I don't believe what I think you are. I thought something about her and I was, I was like getting, I was starting to lean into like, thinking that what I saw over there really existed and she was it. But I kept telling myself not to believe it and I didn't. I stopped myself and so I'm still here. I saw evil, I saw the devil. But since I'd stopped myself from believing my thoughts and I just inhabited the space of thinking that way, she's safe and I'm safe and you're safe. But if we lean, lean forward into believing our opinions about people,

[21:11]

that's not upright and that's taking ourselves too seriously and that's major damage. But sometimes when we're sitting there, you know, looking at somebody and thinking, well what a turkey. We can't just sit there and be there. We think, you know, we can't just feel what that's like to think like that is really uncomfortable. Usually. Unless you're kidding. Unless you say, oh I have this thought and it's just a joke. But if you actually start to think it's true, or not even think it's true but just think, you know, just thinking that way, you feel uncomfortable. So then instead of just sitting there and suffering with that thought, you jump into making it true and cause even more trouble because you can't stand to just be there with your situation. Refrain from all evil, you know, it's interesting.

[22:22]

Refrain from all evil sounds like reframe all evil. Like, evil seems to be appearing in the world. Like, you know, Bosnia, and so on. Certainly that's evil. But, is it evil because I judge it so? And does that evil exist? And most people I guess would say, I don't know if they would. Actually, I don't know if some of the people, maybe, I don't know, maybe some of the people in some of those armies think that what they're doing is not evil. And what the other people are doing is evil. I guess, maybe they do. Maybe they drop bombs on people and say, what we're doing is not evil, and the people who are bombing are evil. Maybe they think that. So maybe they think the evil is over there. Maybe the people who are getting bombed think the evil is over on the other side. And maybe we look and think there's evil on both sides. Who's right? Certainly, it seems to be like evil is manifesting, doesn't it?

[23:27]

Horrible, horrible, horrible things. And it's hard for us just to like be there with that stuff that seems to be manifesting without saying, it exists. And where does it exist? It exists like over there. Like it goes right over up to here and it stops at the edge of this army and then cross on the other side and it starts to be good. Or it stops at the army and at the hospital it starts to be good. We think like that. We think like that. That's where we live sometimes. And that's how we see evil. And then we like stay away from... We manipulate it like that rather than being present with it and refraining from it. But refraining from it partly means reframe it. And you reframe it

[24:32]

by being upright with it which is the most challenging way to be with the appearance of evil. It's the most difficult way to be because it's the way of just being in the situation without leaning into this is where the evil is this is how far it goes and it stops and then something else starts. That's the way we distract ourselves from just being in a situation. The etymology of the word refrain I like to say refrain from evil because the word refrain means to re-bridle. Re-frame means bridle. To re-bridle evil. And we might usually think you know bridle means you try to hold evil. Hold it! Whoa, whoa boy! Restrain the evil. But I don't think I don't think that's what it means. I don't think that would be upright to restrain evil.

[25:34]

If you get into restraining evil it's just going to drag you all over the universe. If you get on evil's back and say giddy up that will also take you all over the place. If you fight evil it will possess you. Bridling evil re-bridling evil means bridle it in a new way. In a way you never thought of before. Dance with it. Become intimate with it. And if you become intimate with anything then it cannot overwhelm you and you cannot destroy it. The Buddha way is not is for you each one of you and me not to be overwhelmed by evil and not to destroy it. If you destroy evil you become possessed by it.

[26:34]

It will become you if you destroy it. If it overwhelms you it also will become you or you will become it. The Buddhist way is not to be overwhelmed by evil or to destroy it. Because evil cannot be destroyed unless evil is real. Then you could destroy it. But if it was real you couldn't destroy it. But you can't destroy something that's not real. And evil is not real. That's why we must reframe it. That's why we must never do any evil because it can't be done. So the Buddha way is to never do anything evil. And the way to never do anything evil is to become intimate with evil. And the way to be intimate with evil

[27:38]

is to be in your situation. To be upright. But again if you lean the slightest bit into trying to stop evil or start evil, of course you're possessed. It's got you. And if you lean the slightest bit your mind is not a mind of no abode. Here's a mind which has an abode. It means you're not willing to live in the present circumstance of evil all around you. And since you're not willing to live there evil has got you. Your mind has an abode and since it has an abode evil's got you. And you can't adapt. And you're taking yourself too seriously. But it's hard to be upright

[28:50]

because that means you have to relinquish all your, you know... all your games. All your kind of like games like... It doesn't mean you have to stop thinking like he's evil, she's evil. You can go ahead and do that stuff. Go right ahead. It's just that you can't like plug it in to the electricity. You can't like have it like, you know all the lights go on like she's evil, he's evil and that's real. It's more like she's evil and I feel miserable when I say that but I can't like, you know juice it up by saying it's real and sort of like what do you call it eject myself from this misery of thinking that somebody else is evil. If you think somebody's evil then you have to face the consequences of that and live in that soup. But if you want to think people are evil go ahead and do it. You can also go around

[29:55]

and think people are good and live in that soup which is a very pleasant soup. It's up to you but if you lean into thinking that what you're thinking is true then you're not just inhabiting your situation. Because what's happening for us is not what's happening it's not reality it's just what we think. But even so it's very difficult for us to be willing to live in the world we think. Like me I was thinking about this lecture and it was very hard for me to come here but I did and I got rewarded for coming because it wasn't what I thought it was going to be. You people have been wonderful, thank you. And it's probably time to stop. You probably understand what I said, right?

[31:04]

I do too but it's very hard. It's very hard to just be upright in every moment. But if you do if you can be upright and choose to be in your situation and be willing to be in your situation you will never ever do any evil. Ever. Absolutely not. You will be a perfect Buddha. But if you don't if you lean a little bit just the slightest bit off it's a big mistake. But still if you admit that it's a big mistake it brings you back. And we will be off just like me before the talk. I was leaning right and left, forward and backwards thinking about this situation. I was having a hard time being what I was over there in that house before this lecture because I was imagining all these horrors that was going to happen up here. But when I came in here

[32:12]

and committed myself to the situation I have not been trying to get away. I'm perfectly happy because I know I have no alternative once I get in the room. I'm stuck here for whatever forty minutes. Now it's going to be harder when I leave here to accept the rest of the night without your assistance. So please help me through the night. May I enter in the grave.

[32:46]

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