Now yesterday I gave a talk here and as I was walking out I felt like, well, now I don't have to talk anymore. My chest. So in a sense, I finish a cycle of what I want to say yesterday. But although I finished yesterday, now today I want to start a new cycle, but I'm not going to, I don't think, because it's the last day of And if I start, I think you will be caught in the chaos of the birth of a new attempt to unfold another facet of this wonderful thing called practice.

[01:17]

So I'll just, I'll try not to, I'll just say goodbye this morning. And kind of summarize what happened. And the first thing I want to say is that my mouth is full of praise for you, your excellent practice this week. all the support you gave each other and to me so that I could play my role during this week. As I often say, there's no inferiority or superiority in the Buddha Dharma, but still, this is a very mature and wonderful group of meditators.

[02:26]

Last night I watched you sit and this morning I watched you sit. This morning you look like the Grand Canyon. So this is the last session that I will practice here as abbot, and I couldn't think of a more blessed opportunity than has been afforded. So thank you all very much. I'm so happy to have been able to suffer with you for seven days.

[03:35]

And because you all were able to live in the world of conventional reality, the world where single things appear to exist, single things like me and you where single things seem to be born and die because you're willing to live in that world and feel the suffering that's in that world I could tell you about another world which is not the tiniest bit different from this world and yet We yearn for the world where there is not a single thing, where nothing is single, where nothing exists by itself, but everything exists in relationship to everything else.

[05:10]

Where there's not a single suffering, but all suffering is interconnected with all other such that it's also freedom. It's also a party table. But it's not reality It's not reality that there's the world where not a single thing exists. That's not reality. That's just one truth. The other truth is that that world where not a single thing exists makes anything possible. And it makes possible another world. It makes possible infinite worlds. It makes possible worlds where there are things.

[06:15]

existing singly. It makes possible a world of suffering. And a world of suffering makes possible a deeper appreciation of the world where there is no suffering. So the world where there is no suffering is totally cool, bliss land, peaceful. Everything's interconnected and nothing's by itself, all alone, without a context. But in order to thoroughly appreciate it, that world made possible a world of misery that we can visit for a little while. And then when we go back, we appreciate it all the more. When we go back to eternity, we appreciate it all the more. We don't take it for granted.

[07:17]

We say, whew, it's good to be home again. And also, when we get to eternity, we don't forget the world that eternity creates. We don't forget it. So, you know, some people ask me about this, and so one way to look at it is, When you live in the world of the empty aeon, in that world there's only, in a sense, every moment, although there's no moment singly by itself. But anyway, if you thought there was a moment, that moment would be eternity. So there's only eternal moments in the world where not a single thing exists. But we come back from that world to this world, and this world comes in little tiny instants.

[08:17]

In that world of eternity, nothing lasts because everything is fully full-sized. In this world, nothing lasts because they're tiny. We have to come back to the tiny world and live in moments. And our practice that we do here does not last. You can't do a practice that lasts. You only do it in a moment, in this momentary expression. And then it's good if you can let go because it is just gone. And if you can't let go, then you have to do the practice of grieving and sorrow. But the grieving is good because the grieving gets you ready to come and live in the next moment. So you do your practice in these little moments down here in the pits. And if we're willing to pay the price of living in this world of pain fully, we get to realize that it's not this world at all.

[09:30]

Zhaozhou, our most popular ancestor this week, his teacher was Nanchuan. Nanchuan taught him about the path of no doubt. And one time Zhaozhou said, he said, 90 years ago I visited 80 disciples of Master Ma. And he actually could say that, and he might have been rounding off the number, but actually when he was, he lived to be 120, so he could look back 90 years ago when he was traveling around visiting great Zen masters. And when he was a kid, when he was in his 20s and 30s, there were still lots, lots of disciples of Master Ma living, and he visited I've mentioned this before, I'll say it again.

[10:50]

Imagine what it would be like when you're in your 20s, 30s to walk by foot and visit 80 monasteries, and in each monastery meeting an enlightened disciple of Matsu. What kind of a light would that be? And what kind of a person would you be? Just think about that. 80. Like, there's one, okay? And that would be like, kind of like, meaning one of these people would be like, you know, I don't know what, but anyway, it would be something extraordinary. and then visit another one, and then 78 more. Plus he visited some other great people too. Anyway, he did that, and he said they were all excellent. And he said that 90 years later, he said that.

[11:55]

And then he had some comments about these greenhorn Zen masters that lived at the time he was living. He said, for example, Nanchuan was one of them. And he always used to say, you must proceed straight into samsara. That's what his teacher said. You must proceed straight into samsara. You must proceed straight into the world of cyclic birth and death. You must proceed directly into the world of ignorance. The world where you think there's single things existing.

[13:06]

You must go into that world. You Zen monks must do that. You Zen comrades must enter that world. You must enter the world of the conventional truth. That will be the foundation of the ultimate truth, the truth that makes anything possible. But in order to understand the significance of the ultimate truth, you must have a firm foundation in the relative conventional truth of suffering and separation and alienation and anxiety and so on. You must be firmly based in that mud. be able to understand the significance of the next truth.

[14:10]

And you must understand the significance of the next truth in order to have liberation. So, Jojo's teacher said, you must go straight into samsara. in order to realize nirvana, because nirvana is no other place from samsara. It looks like from what they said, it looks like from the light that comes out of their words thousands of years later, that these people were willing to live in samsara and that they realized nirvana. At least you might guess that I think that's so, that I feel these ancestors realized nirvana.

[15:37]

And realizing nirvana, they were happy to again enter samsara. And entering samsara completely thoroughly, they realized nirvana and so on. Round and round they happily went, coming back down into the world. thoroughly immersing themselves and then exploding out of the ordinary world into complete freedom. And because they were so free, they happily came back. As a matter of fact, they came back when they got too happy. and they wanted to test their happiness. So then Nanchuan comes back, starts walking around on the earth in China, walking on some, or standing on some grassy, kind of dry, grassy hill, cutting grass, cutting straw,

[16:57]

with his sickle near the road on a hot August day. A monk walks by and says to Nanchuan, which way to Nanchuan? Nanchuan says, this sickle cost me 30 cents. The monk said, I didn't ask you how much the sickle cost. I asked you, which way is it to Nanchuan's place? Nanchuan said, it's very sharp. These bodhisattvas come into the world to encourage us to be here thoroughly, right down to the tip of our sickle.

[18:18]

They can be here that fully because they've been encouraged by liberation and they come here to show us that you can live in this world fully. In the realm of not one thing, I heard that there is always much feasting and playing and sorrowing. And there's much feasting because of the happiness in the face of the terrors of eternity.

[19:54]

There's much playing because beings there are free. And there's much sorrow because there are some there who have recently returned from the land where there's things and they can still remember of all the suffering that they didn't appreciate and all the love they didn't requite Anyway, in this land of not one thing, when the happiness reaches its excess, its greatest point, the beings are drawn back into the world of samsara because they're happy.

[21:06]

And they come here to play. But the re-entry sometimes... causes them to forget why they came. And it takes them a while, sometimes 40, 50, 60 years to remember why they came. Sometimes they remember when they're only seven. These people are lucky because then when they're about 40 they've already been practicing 30 years. So take care of your health because the longer you practice, the more likely that you can reenter without forgetting. You know, this week there's been samsara in this room and this week there's been nirvana in this room.

[22:15]

any inhabitants of nirvana have to leave nirvana and go back to samsara. And so you may wonder, you know, how are you going to continue this practice when you get there, but just remember what Nanchuan said, just walk out the door and walk straight into hell. Walk right back into ignorance. Walk right back into where you're separate from other people and be there as thoroughly as the ancestors were there. Thirty cents is how much this costs. And it's shot. And as soon as you're there all the way, again, nirvana will be realized.

[23:33]

And you can bounce around there and have a few parties, and then you have to come back again. Nanchuan and Jiaojiao call you back to re-inhabit a limited body. Only with a limited body Do we really appreciate the unlimited body? But if you don't appreciate the limited body, which hurts, you won't be able to re-inhabit the boundless body without relying on our everyday common practices, we cannot express the ultimate truth.

[24:58]

So what are your common everyday practices? Some of them may be formal, most informal. You have the practice of opening a door, answering a telephone, looking in someone's eyes. It's not easy to be present opening a door. It's not easy to be present looking into the eyes of another person. I don't say it's easy. Even I say it's hard. But these are our common everyday practices. This is all we have. I asked at the beginning if you make a vow to be present, and you did, I guess, make that vow, and you practiced that vow, and I suppose we all made mistakes and slipped off that now and then, and found our way back to the present again and again.

[26:28]

So now as you leave here, at the end of the session, Can you make another vow to continue to be present in this world with each step you take, with each smile you fake? Remember, I'll be watching you. Thank you.

[30:11]

Thank you for correcting me. When I was struggling earlier this week to express myself, I thought, oh, I forgot to ask you people to help me. I'm trying to say something, but sometimes I forget to tell you, even though you don't know what I'm trying to say, help me. You know I'm trying to say something, right? So help me. Help me say it. And I forgot to say it out loud, but I thought, I need your help to express myself. And you did help me, so I was able to express myself. That's what it means, you know, to come into this world. It means come in here and express yourself.

[31:56]

And I think we're not sure that people really want us to, but I think they do. I think they're really helping us, they're really supporting us to express our own conventional phenomenal expression. So please help me and please let all of us help you. We really do want you to express yourself. We really do want to be ourselves, I think. At least that's what I want to be. I was talking to someone who wasn't sure what he wanted and somehow the topic got onto what I wanted and I said, well, don't you know what I want?

[33:03]

Isn't it clear? And the person said, yeah, you want to be yourself. And I wasn't expecting that answer, but that was the right answer. Even though that's true, some people don't like us. And that's the way they support us, to be ourselves, is by not liking us. That's this world. And we're being encouraged to walk straight into the world where what we want most is to really be ourselves and that world has people who don't like us. And sometimes when I see people not liking somebody, the thought crosses my mind, stop beating up on them.

[34:19]

But then I think, no, just let them do it. Because, you know, if I try to protect them, they'll just hit them harder when I'm not around. And they're just hitting them because they don't like them. That's the only reason. But this hitting is not harming him. It's not harming him. If it's harming him, then of course I would try to stop it. But just them not liking him is not harming him. Liking him might harm him. That often harms people. But I don't tell them to stop that either. I do enter the world where he's being beaten up and hold his hand and ask him if he has any idea why they don't like him.

[35:31]

And sometimes the one I'm asking that is myself. Now why is it that they don't like you? One time I asked my wife. what's the problem? What problem do they have with me? And she said, you know.

[35:50]

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