care of know about
and just briefly what i said was that we
we have a tradition here of
starting the sessions with
sitting
silent and still
and so i i mentioned in this situation
that silence is done this is a traditional zen or buddhist
ritual or exercise
for the sake of actually entering into silence and stillness
and so does the stillness is the realm in which enlightenment lives
and
i could i could i think i could start right away by saying if you have any questions about this basic instruction of of of the meditation practice of just sitting in silence and stillness as a ritual of
invoking and realizing enlightenment any questions about that
yes

you're more
why did you call some other friends
yeah you probably should take care of that
otherwise you won't be able to be sound and still
so i hope you can find somebody to go over there and check it out
in fact you want to bring up about this if you could stand to be farther away from bernardino i could see your better he moved out my lower back

anything i should add that will be discussing this for the whole class but if there's anything you want to bring up now you're welcome to do so
michael

yes
right it's it's hiding enlightenment hiding and the place at highs as in silence and stillness
so if you are in in sort of your daily life if you don't see silence and stillness i mean if you don't you can't see silence and stillness anyway
it's not a visible thing
sounds illness i was just offer you is is a reality
which is kind of hiding lot of the time
and so if we practice sitting still and being quiet that's not silence and stillness that's an activity
your mind still going to some extent usually your blood circulating you're moving a little bit
you're not actually can actually you're not actually come swiftly silent and still but you're doing a ritual which is basically a ritual where you been quiet and you're not really moving much nobody nobody move much during this time and everybody was moving some
nobody's mind was moving zero and everybody's mind with moving a little bit but people's minds were not super seven me for elizabeth was worried about the the stove
your minds will probably not super agitated
so you actually were doing i'm saved me looks that's you on i wasn't thinking about it too much i wasn't talking about it too much but i kind of felt like you were being pretty quiet and pretty still you were doing that ritual
sometimes in your daily life you're not you don't seem to be
during a ritual of being silent and still
you don't you don't feel like i'm sitting here stuck silent and and quiet i mean then still you don't feel like a lot of time however sounds the stillness is not moving around any place it's not going away it's right there are with you all the time as you say
so we start this class actually and sounds the stones but then after that we start talking
and moving
but the sounds of stillness doesn't isn't any more here be when we're sitting quietly than it is we were talking is just that when required word literally invoking it were literally inviting and were literally celebrating
however you can celebrate it not literally non literally you can celebrate it all day long
but you have to remember
when you're walking around yeah remember silence and stillness but the thought towns and stillness isn't the sounds and stillness it just the memory of it the mindful of nice of it manifests it
it responds to your thinking about it
even if you don't think about it it's still responding but then it's responding to you're not thinking about it and the way it responds then is that is kind of hiding
so we start the classes way but i hope that after the is over
you continue to remember that in silence and stillness enlightenment lives lives there
and even without doing the ritual of sitting silent
and unmoving you can remember
that there is a silence and stillness that all as always is present just like enlightenment is always present
but this is a nice time to mention the name of this class which is zen meditation enlightenment and delusion
enlightenment is always present but delusion is usually present to
and delusion
quite effectively highs enlightenment
distracts us from enlightenment
so this is a class in one sense of doing beginning by doing a ritual to invoke the context of awakening and enlightenment but then also in our discussions and also during that time we will be studying the thing that obscure enlightened
not that obscure silence and stillness
namely delusion

so
delusion was delusion well actually ah
i don't know
but
it's what enlightenment our studies
enlightenment doesn't really study enlightenment
enlightenment doesn't need to be studied
but it doesn't need to be practiced in the basic practice of enlightenment is to study delusion
if it weren't for delusion we wouldn't need enlightenment we just have reality
and that would be fine
but don't but the nature of life is that it conjures up delusions about well life
it makes up stories about life
and takes the stories about life
has the reality of life
it makes life into a conceivable process or i conceivable thing even it makes life into the power of delusion the power the mine has the power to imagine that life is a thing
seeing life as a thing as an example of delusion life is not a thing
my life isn't a thing your life is nothing our life is nothing but our mine makes life into a thing
therefore
life can be born and die
but life doesn't act isn't isn't basically something that born and dies
but life can support the delusion that things are born and dying and we get quite upset about this
right we can get really upset about something dying
the dying and is is a is a fruit
a consequence of making life into a thing that we can get a hold of
it's a it's a consequence of the diluted understanding of life
but we don't put that down
where don't mean delusion or something bad i just mean it as something to study something to study something to study
and the study of delusion
is a compassionate kind
ah calm gentle study
i mean the study that
that the study that is enlightenment
is a compassionate study of delusion
so enlightenment is basically understanding delusion and delusion is basically not understanding delusion
hi nina

understanding delusion
and and the life that the work of the enlightened beings their basic work is to be studying delusion and clarifying it and teaching others who are had delusion to study how to study it if they would study it thoroughly if we study delusion thoroughly
that to the end we understand it and understanding delusion is enlightenment
so understanding the delusion that were like that our life's a thing and my life's a thing separate from your life which is a thing that's those are examples of delusion
that waves that way of imagining art our life as being separate and thing of thing or fide that's true that's an example of delusion there's others
but that's a basic one
studying that
with great compassion and kindness
with you know
intensity and perseverance and gentleness and com and generosity and ethics know that studying the delusions in that way leads to the understanding of delusion the enlightenment about the delusion
and then with enlightenment comes lots of activities
so enlightenment lives in silence and stillness but it's a great activity what's the activity and silence and stillness in the sounds the stillness the activity of enlightenment studying delusion teaching others how to study delusion tremendous activity in silence and stillness
tremendous freedom of just anyway flat out freedom and boundless skillful offerings to beings who need instruction on how to study their delusions in which they are
hemmed in to some extent
so i'm trying to encourage myself
to do the work of the buddha's which is to study
my own delusions
it's not just to keep telling myself or this is a delusion
but just to watch it
if anybody asked me what it is what delusion i say what i what i think is going on right now less delusion
what i think it's true his delusion
i mean my my thinking that such as such as true as a delusion
another and another way to put this is a which i mentioned recently was that were studying the conceivable
delusions are conceivable delusions involve conception
to study the conceivable to realize the inconceivable enlightenment not really you can conceive of but that's not enlightenment the enlightenment itself is inconceivable is so profound that no concept can reach it
by studying the conceivable thoroughly gently lovingly calmly generously
our patiently we opened to the inconceivable which generally speaking
people do not really want to have anything to do with
because you know
what can you do with the inconceivable site and when they first start seeing that the the the glimmerings or the
the specter of the harbinger of it i've been conceive ability or the inconceivable people often get frightened and tighten up and go to back to find something get a hold of again which is part of the process
stats say
see

the

well one thing that keeps you from did you say giving up study
one thing that would that would protect you from the one of the basic things that will protect you from that is the vow
to help all beings and not abandon them
until all beings somehow were enlightened see make that vow you keep you really do have great you're really doing this study
out of great compassion so you're practicing compassion when in the study and you'd do in your and your reason for starting the study was for of great compassion not just compassion for yourself
not just for self help contemplation purposes but you really doing this for the welfare of all beings
also another thing is because of that you beat your ear you're i would i will give you i hope instruction on how to be careful if you should ever happened to get near the place where ah
you might actually enter into a state of peace and forget about the beings that you're devoted to
it be careful at that point
because you can slip into
camping out in peace
and forgetting that you entered peace not just for yourself but for the welfare of the whole world
so the bigger vile actually helped she helps you are
the study more effectively and and also and because it's and because it's effective you can quickly get to a place where if you're not careful
you could damn forget about the point of it all so it's kind of a miracle that
that down
when you that by being that you can be devoted to beings and realize the delusion of your delusion you have about beings and still continue to be devoted to them
or another way to put it is the beings on the beings who become buddhas who are what which are on the path to buddhahood they make the vow to take all beings to peace before themselves to take all beings to nirvana before themselves they make that vow and they remember
that
there's no bigs whatsoever taken to nirvana
and they have through the second part in order to actually help people
and also to not slip into to go into nirvana before them
which they could easily do
okay so are the basic thing then is
remember silence and stillness all day long if possible and remember
remember to study delusion all day long
and
so how do you remember to study delusion
and
one one thing that i've what sort of it the in indirect way for me too
at to remember is to
kind of worship
worship studying delusion
worship it
praise it
pay homage to studying delusion
which is similar to very common buddhist practice where i should particularly asian buddhist practice of paying homage to the buddha
praising the buddha's
print are paying homage to buddha's is not so popular
in the western transmission of the buddha way as it is generally speaking in the history of asian of the asian part of the tradition where people are kind of grow up
being encouraged and being initiated into worshipping
worshipping means to acknowledge the worth of something so people are generally speaking grow up with a real positive take on buddha
a good is really great wonderful the best of all best saw a guy thing so can we are buddha wonderful is not the to isn't associated with marijuana or anything
so but i for for this class i kind of say well in the same way that you might venerate praise and pay homage to worship enlightenment now for here i would say worse
ship or pay homage to her praise studying yourself
so how do you study delusion study yourself
we have some censor yourself
most people do study that learn about that
most people center themselves is deluded
it's not horrible is just a delusion
the consequences of the delusion can be horrible
but the delusion self is just a misconception
most of us have it
when he got an exaggerated version of herself or or under
what's the opposite of exaggeration and underestimation of ourself we underestimate or overestimate ourself is hard to get the right
dang i'm enlightened on and self the right thing on self as enlightenment seeing the self properly correctly is enlightenment
understanding the delusion of us of art what we think of ourselves
his enlightenment so most of us have a sense of self if you don't you're welcome to bring it up and bring up the your ear own caught your lack of sense of self you can bring it up and maybe we can find some sense of self for you to
you to learn about
there can be other delusions besides out but that's a real basic one which again is like
i here's me who's alive and i make me and my life into a thing that's myself
in a way
i'm making into a thing is also making into that i'm somewhat separate or anyways i'm separate from other beings
so we can just just start there that that would be the way to start studying the south are start reading delusion is to study yourself
study yourself mean study your ideas about yourself your conception of yourself your story about yourself like i'm a fairly good person and above average person i'm a below average person ah know i have such as such an iq i have such gender that's me that's what i thought
about me and now how can i praise being aware of that story
enough for you to actually be aware of that story so i'm telling you well if you paying attention to that is what buddhists pay attention to
and again that story of who you are my story of who i am
let's also called
karma
so i'm talking about studying delusion which is the same as studying self which the same studying karma
another word for it is comic consciousness so comic consciousness which is what we have
imagines
for example a relationship between myself and others see myself and the way i've seen myself
is due to past ways of seeing myself
so these are different ways of talking about what enlightened studies at studies
delusion studies
some image of the self some idea of self some story myself which means that enlightenment is involved a study of karma karma is the activity which creates these pictures of ourself and ourselves relations
ship with the world
how can i
rouse myself to stay on that beam of self study to stay on that beam of studying karma consciousness
how can i rouse you and encourage you to study yourself
i asked that and
one of the ways some of the ways i do it is the way i've been talking to you for the last dumb
half an hour
and then i will continue to talk during the rest of the class in ways to encourage you and me
the study are delusion and thereby realize enlightenment
now just to choose to check to see if you understood me fairly well
do you understand that i'm suggesting that buddhist study
self
they did a buddhist study delusion
buddhist study comic consciousness
and they they don't study and stop when they become buddhas they continue after being booed as they continue to study and previous to being booed as their study was not as good
let you know as it finally became when it became completely thorough and profound
then we have enlightened so if we saw the buddha and a word front of some of the buddha's is if we will do the same study buddha will be realized through that study is exactly little that i will become buddha but buddha will be realized in the world through that kind of study
and it also isn't that i won't people would
that kind of way of thinking is more delusion
so maybe i maybe have some things you like to bring up yes anybody
christiane
study well
i mean
i mean pay attention
i mean not be aware
i mean take care of
i mean
yeah be devoted to i mean
love
so like your delusions are i would say for me i would i would want you to have them be objects of compassion
and love
but just like with a child in order to be compassionate with it it helps if you notice where they are
are you can be just generally you know even if you can't see anything to say well i just feel like right now i think of my grandson a green gulch and i feel love for him and compassion for him even though i can't see him
but still i'm thinking of it the image of him and his name and so on
but the real thing would be for me to go back and see if i can practice it with a living person
same with myself
i would like to practice compassion towards the images and ideas that have about me
and but compassion includes being honest about myself doesn't mean just like or his teeth perfect now it's like always got a problem he's got a big problem as a matter of fact this guy has got problems
but i love him anyway and i am devoted to him
but even in i'm also devoted i am fairly devoted to studying him to watching him i've been watching him after a while i spent i am i had the story
we need to watch myself for quite awhile to spend hours and hours watching my posture my breathing my ideas my actions my intentions
to have conversations with me about whether i want to do this practice or not
and i feel like you would like me to have those conversations i'm not just doing for myself you'd like me to check in with myself and say a ribbed you want to practice being kind to yourself yes are you ready to commit to it yes
that's part of studying it is to talk to yourself about whether you want to study it and see what you say you might say no or maybe not right now later maybe i'm too busy to study myself i've gotta get this meal on the table
and then i would say in response to that response that response is another thing another delusion it's a delusion that you can't study yourself why you make dinner to delusion we should love that delusion read not busted what do you mean you can study yourself why you're making dinner know
be patient with it and then maybe when dinner is on the table say you want some feedback on what you said earlier
yeah not now that i'm eating dinner i i'm ready for some feedback you could have been you could have been kind to yourself why you're making dinner it would be all right to be kind to yourself to love yourself why you're making dinner
and that that point my say you know that's true i could i could have been like attending to myself while i was working and being kind to myself while i was working
i read and have to stop being kind of myself in order to produce this action
but at the time i thought i did and i'm glad you were kind to me and patient with me and didn't force that on me while i was a why did when i didn't think i could open up to that practice
so what i'm suggesting is a study you can do no matter what you're doing theoretically but sometimes you're doing something you think i can't be aware of myself when i'm doing this
okay i will say well that's another thing to be kind to when you say you look you when you say i can't be kind to be kind of
i can't study myself i'm too busy
okay i hear you
you know and i'm patient with you saying that i'm also patient waiting for the time when i could
maybe ask you some questions about how much how truly you think that is because i don't think that's true but i don't necessarily fight with you when you tell me that your camp practice
and i would suggest not fighting with yourself either but then later come back and say well you know actually i could have done i could have been aware at the same time
so loving every store you have about yourself if he's loving every story that the rising your mind
with the additional thing that you're loving something that you're watching that you're studying that you're learning about you're paying attention to your mindful of
but in a in a gentle ways in an inauguration way in a patient way
it makes us
but it's not necessarily easy yes would you tell me your name again
enrica

every time you a break or in illusion
breakthrough it yeah

yeah
yeah

so enrico such that sometimes when when there's a breaking through illusion it's painful
and i just read that point i would say
i think that truck prob all lot of time anyway maybe not always but lot of time the reason why there's a breaking through of illusion is because there was some kindness towards the illusion that are delusion
if you're kind to dilute your delusions they sometimes take their clothes off
it's a show you something that they didn't dare show you if you're going to be mean to them
but if you really kind and delusions they sometimes say they tell you something that you had not you know that really shocked you
they don't mean to hurt you for your kindness they're actually trying to give you a gift of showing you there really are however you still shocked
so then we need to practice the same thing we need to practice kindness not we're not towards the towards the dispersing of the delusion a kindness with the pain that follows with disillusionment
be kind to be kind to the feeling of pain be gentle with a be patient with it don't think there's an and don't know don't say well there's something wrong here because there's pain no
generally speaking even a one of the in one sense one of the basic delusions is that were awkward directed all the time
that we're not looking at ourselves is kind of diversion to to turn around and look at yourself is painful
but we need to be this is like
you know it's hard but here that's so wonderful that you're studying yourself
somebody needs to be like really praising and you know almost like gathering warding with lots of love and kindness is studying of the self which is it's a painful change of direction
and what you see again is oftentimes quite petty and so on so it isn't that you just say what's not petty know i did is petty sometimes but be kind to the pain of seeing the pettiness be kind to the pettiness and be kind to the disillusionment
for example of cutting through the illusion that you're not petty like some people walk around thinking i'm really a magnanimous person
i'm just so i'm just so big hearted and big minded and open-minded that's what they think of themselves that kind of thought is kind of petty but they don't see it that way they think it's
and then they see themselves that the either see that that's petty like sometimes they go to the teacher and they say i just want to tell you that i'm so happy because i just i'm just so happy to be such a magnanimous person i'm so generous and kind of so many beings that i'm just i'm just full of joy and the teacher says oh you're so maggie
nana miss and kind to all beings it's amazing
then the person sees all i'm is it not for in order to the that picture is dispersed in reality we are magnanimous but our idea of magnanimity is a delusion
and then to either have someone repeat back to us or magnanimity intimate how magnanimous we are and then sort of snap out of it or to actually see ourselves do something really petty
and snap out of the image of of magnanimity it wouldn't be quite painful right
so in my studies i had kind of magnanimous ideas about why was practicing zen like i've i was going to into the mountains to practice meditation from early in the morning to late at night to become a really great person that sounds i thought i was pretty
good good intention
right that's i thought
and i in when i thought that i didn't think you're so petty to be living in these mountains to become a great person i didn't think that
but
sometimes when we had the situation of running out of food
in a monastery because the road was washed out and with readings that a run on the food but we got really really really simple
so like you know something like a raisin would be like extremely a great treasure
so i noticed i noticed you know that i became quite concerned about you know like whether or not i would get a crouton
you know the kootenays so like
we didn't have any croutons usually the food was so simple we didn't have like any bread winner many bread because we didn't have any flower but then finally we got some bread and we had we got some fresh and dried it we had croutons in the soup so it wasn't just like liquid there was a little kind of things you could bite
and i got quite concerned about whether or not i would get a crew crouton
and it turns out in one particular case i did not get a creature
and i was quite concerned about that and then i noticed the dilute the the the the delusion that i was this huge minded monk
because i realized i'm really quite unlike really petty i'm like intellect whether i get a couturier know i wasn't thinking about i hope everybody gets a crew time
i hope i hope that guy gets a lot of gluten and hope she gets a lot of croutons i wasn't thinking about that i was actually concerned about whether i was gonna get one or two or three
or zero
i got concerned about that so that was not pleasant for me to see how petty i was
but i kept practicing and actually i thought working it's good that i realize how petty i am good because i had kind of i didn't realize how petty i was before so is this is good but it's not pleasant it's not painful so i have to be kind to myself when i see my pettiness
and i didn't realize it on that day the crew day i didn't realize it but
now i understand that big minded people great minded people are not afraid to be petty
but petty people are afraid to be petty
petty people want to be big minded which is fine that's not petty
but they're afraid of being petty so they're not big minded if petty people were okay with being petty they'd be big minded but i wasn't okay with being petty i was shocked
that this monk who worked so hard all day and meditation
who gave up so much to be in the mountains for this training that he was concerned about such a little thing for himself but that was really good for me
and then i could spend years to see if i could get used to being a petty person
so another thing another way to study study delusion study your own pettiness not to study other people's pettiness
for starters start with study or study or on pettiness with the understanding of learning to love your own pettiness not like your own pettiness learning to love it if you can love your own pettiness you're getting very close to buddha
because buddha luxury pettiness but it doesn't like your pettiness would love your pet is so if you can love it which means be patient be gentle with the pettiness
be gentle with the pain or on the pettiness
be calm with the pain around the pettiness don't try to get rid of the pain or the pettiness don't try to control the pain of the pettiness
open to it welcome the pettiness not like i like you but you can come here a pettiness is allowed in this room you can bring pet lots of pettiness of here welcome
the is welcome your pettiness welcome my pettiness
okay but it's difficult to see our pettiness is painful
this pain is part of the hard work of the buddhist
okay it's normal
and yet i think questions for tonight about how to study
pettiness delusion cosmic consciousness self jerry

did you hear that she had the delusion that if she would see some pettiness that she would be ashamed of that once seeing if she wouldn't do it anymore
yes so that's another that's another petty thought
it's a petty thought to think that if you see pettiness you won't be petty anymore that's petty and just a petty in relationship to petty
as petty on top of patio so and that in the first petty deserves no more or less love in the second petty
but it i think if you see pettiness and then see the story about getting rid of pettiness or whatever you see those two and your kind of both of them
the pettiness
will in both cases if you're kind of them the pettiness is an opportunity for the most important thing the important thing is the compassion
which grows on pettiness
so it's okay to say it's not really petty i don't think to say the compassion will grow on pet on pettiness if you are compassionate towards the pettiness of compassion grows and then more pettiness will come even deeper pettiness will come snazzier smaller pettiness this will come from more compassion to grow
if there's no more pettiness than there's no more wait for compassion to grow but there is plenty of pettiness says no problem
so don't try to get rid of the pettiness try to grow compassion on it
whenever the pettiness comes and uncomfortable say welcome we've been waiting for you we need some food for compassion

is it andrew
what's your name paul is it paul

it's slippery am

yeah they're all over the place and they're slippery and they're painful often that normal
so we kind of that's why i think we have to make we have to worship this study just like if you worship the buddhas and you found out it was can be really hard to meet the buddha you still might say well i'll make the effort because i think the buddhist so wonderful i'd be willing to travel hundreds of miles to be hang out with the buddha
even through heat and storm and stuff like that i would make that effort so in the same way this study is this study is the way to meet the buddhist to be close to the buddha's but it's not easy they don't the buddhist don't say this is what to do and it's easy
they don't say it easy there's actually is quite difficult because our our we're we're conditioned to go on the other direction we're conditioned to go away from studying ourself and there's lots of stuff built into make it hard to turn around and then what you see is hard and then also what you see is not
you know it's it's not the you start to see that things are not so clear cotton
this is all this is all in all part of the deal but it's not easy
that's why we need to feel like this hard thing is really good it's worth the effort
there's lot of things are really easy like falling off a log
but to get back on the log and stand up on a balance is not easy
falling off as easy but balancing as not this is about balancing with their delusion
it's hard it's is they're slippery the rolling in the water
and there's logs everywhere
tracy
normal
i was in if if you mean by normal is it healthy i would say yes if you mean common i would say no

yes as a matter of fact
to think i think i wanna say most people but not those people that's a delusion
and to think that i want to save all beings my thinking it is a delusion to but i need that delusion
in order to become buddha all buddhas needed that delusion and that delusion lead them to realize that that was a delusion and then keep been devoted to it after they realized that for john's bring it to used a delusion all beings each being and all beings you used a delusion that you use the idea i want to help them
all i want to i want them to be benefited before me you use a delusion and that delusion you can attach to
however that delusion wheels will force you to give up attaching to it it will force you to not hold onto it it will forge force you to give it up and hopefully stay with it after you give it up
so again it's another basic kind of surprising principle is we need to learn how to like go were devoted to
if if what we're devoted to is helping all beings we need to give up we need to
not grasp not grasping
what we're doing is is is the perfection of this study
of grasping

those people or objects of compassion first of all
somebody who who thinks that bodhisattvas are stupid needs a lot of compassion
it's really not good if they think that the people who are devoted to all beings are stupid
so really gotta be kind to them find some way to be so kind to them that this hostility towards great compassion melts

underneath there
there's no
well underneath not want to live for the welfare of other beings is a misconception about myself
for sure and a bunch of other delusions to but that's one for sure if you do if you don't understand yourself you probably won't rush and did you could not understand yourself and still wish to live the welfare of all beings but if you don't wish to live for the welfare of all beings you sure don't you definitely do not understand yourself
if you don't understand and you start being devoted to all beings you will that will huge to understand yourself because all beings will tell you to study yourself and you're working for them so you will
but if you're not devoted to all beings you might have study yourself and just continue to not be devoted to our bags if you devoted to all beings you will be forced to study yourself
and your devotion wolves will support you and other people will support you because they see where you want to help us so are you need to now is find out about yourself and you'll be able to the main thing that's interfering with you being effectively assisting us is you're not aware yourself so please do some homework here
hmm northwood know maggie

you can be to earn his job
now what do you mean by what you mean by to earnest
yeah grasping right right

you mean that you have some even know about harder how to deal with the wish for the fast track

when i'm when i'm concerned about the crew time for me i'm i'm kind of have lost sight of my connection to the other practitioners i'm not really paying any intentions at all and all i care about is the good time for me i'm not happy that some other people got futons at that moment
i wasn't thinking of what i vergata and i would give it to other people i wasn't thinking of that i was pretty petty how was your question about that

well in in this particular example the revelation of the pettiness was you know basically a good day's work for me i mean that was enough that was that was like a big shock and i you know and i walked out of the meditation hall crime at lunch
in the middle of the day i was walking around the monastery crying not because they didn't get a crouton
but because i was i was just so sad you know in some sense to give up i lost my sense of what a great person i was and i had to sort to be this petty little monk who had such small scale concerns
however and i'm telling you that that then my practice really started to be good
i wouldn't think so at the time but looking back if i was there with a young man i would say now you're now you're getting close to the real work your kid this is excellent
but in a way it's good that there wasn't a older monk the tommy that
so i struggle with it and feel and feel that the great implications of that and
yeah and and realized that i could survive i could survive the revelation of might my smallness
those kinds of experiences made me not so afraid to be small
to be a little tiny greedy buddhist
you know if i found out that i'm like these issues as as teddy
miserly
that's not gonna kill me but some of us think god if i convert auto i couldn't go on
you know if if i was like a pity if if i was it was shown to me or others what how small i was that might be the end of me so don't we don't dare see that so that was really great that i could be so small and i've continued to be small like that but i'm more
i'm more and more used to it and more used to it
a better i feel
somebody say you're getting the usual you shouldn't you shouldn't be so tolerant of your smallness
you should really beat yourself up for being petty
but i think that's that's one of the bad things about not loving pettiness is it will become cruel
so even the fast past of the fast pass to get over pettiness
is i think guy you know not so not so kind
it's more like i love your petty national stay with you until you become buddha
and there's no hurry here because i enjoy loving you
it's wonderful this compassion flowers growing on this pettiness that's what we're here for to grow compassion not to make perfect people
we're trying to make perfect compassion
the perfect compassion grows on trouble on pettiness and illusion
enlightenment grows on dilute enlightenment working with delusion is not getting away from delusion and going working on great stuff
but we think it will that's what does classes for us to get over that
you know but there's no hurry
we have a few more weeks
and it's perfectly nine o'clock which is the time we are scheduled to stop thank you very much for your
patience and kindness
huh