Someone asked me if this retreat was going to be about dragons. And I wasn't actually thinking of talking too much about dragons, but more about the dragon's cave. There are dragons in the dragon's cave, but the dragons aren't the main point. It's what the dragons are protecting and taking care of. There's jewels down in the dragon's caves. And those jewels are what the retreat's about. So this is a... going down in the dragon's cave is a metaphor or an image of Zen training, Zen meditation. It's an image of going down deeply into experience or going down into the depths of phenomena and reaching and realizing the wisdom of the Buddhas.

[01:21]

And part of the appeal of the image is that going down into a dragon's cave might seem somewhat difficult or daunting. And Zen practice might seem that way too, because part of the process of the meditation is to go into, or I should say to let go of our usual world, our usual way of seeing things so that we can see new ways. So the training is a way to let go of our own ideas, about what's going on, our own ideas of reality.

[02:33]

And in letting go of them also open to and listen to the instructions of the teacher, the living teacher or the ancient Buddhas. The training is a way to give up strongly adhering, strongly clinging to our ideas. Give up strongly clinging to the imputations that our mind makes upon existence. And then again, listening and practicing the teachings about the way things are, free of our ideas, we realize our Buddha's wisdom.

[03:45]

We come to realize that the impositions our mind makes upon things are not in accord with reality. But before going down into the Dragon's Cave, I wanted to say something about the ground or the basis of Buddha's wisdom, the ethical ground of Buddha's wisdom. I was talking to some people just a few nights ago and I imagined that about half the people in the group were psychotherapists or psychologists.

[05:05]

I didn't ask them to identify themselves as such because maybe they wouldn't want to, but maybe there's some psychotherapists or some health care professionals, some mental health care professionals here. I think I know some of you are, and some of you I know need to go see some of these people. But I don't ask you to identify yourselves. But I said to these people, you know, some of the people who come to seek psychological assistance or some psychological guidance or some psychotherapy, some of these people are coming because they have problems with issues of right and wrong or good and bad.

[06:07]

Some people don't think that right's really much different from wrong, or that right and wrong don't really matter, or good and evil aren't really something that make any difference one way or another. Such people actually have psychological adjustment problems. Not too many of those people come to Buddhist retreats. They're mostly in prison and places like that. But a lot of the people who do come to Buddhist retreats and also who go to psychotherapy are people who also have issues around good and evil or right and wrong. And that they are worried about trying to figure out what's right and worried about trying to understand what's wrong.

[07:14]

How to determine good and evil in various situations of daily life or in situations of national governmental conduct. many people are deeply distressed around the uncertainty and confusion regarding good and evil, right and wrong. And so many people like this actually go and talk to people to get some help dealing with these problems they have around good and evil, right and wrong. pros and cons. And even people who are not severely disturbed also have problems with these things. Part of Zen training involves actually taking a break, taking a vacation,

[08:30]

from being concerned about right and wrong. Putting the issue of good and evil on the shelf for a while. Not, you know, not saying that they don't matter, That's not putting them on the shelf. Not saying that they do matter. That's not putting them on the shelf. Just take a break from your ideas of good and evil. That's part of Zen practice. And also to take a break, a vacation from your ideas about everything. Just take a break. And taking a break from your ideas of good and evil if you actually learn how to do that, or if you're actually just taking a break, you're not rejecting them, you're not denying them, you're just sincerely taking a break, it actually comes to fruit as tranquility and buoyancy and flexibility of body and mind.

[09:40]

And then going even further and examining not necessarily taking a break from these issues of good and evil, but actually examining good and evil. As your examination goes deep, way down into the cave, and you find the jewel of Buddha's wisdom, you actually realize that nobody ever has ever found out what good is and what evil are. That actually you can't ever really find good and can't ever find evil or right or wrong. However, well, before I say however, and when you understand this, you become liberated from suffering and are ready to start really doing some good in the world.

[10:49]

Before that, you can do some good. Before that, in other words, when you think, at the stage that you think, if you're at the stage where you think you know what good is, and you actually have found it and know what it is, at that stage you can still do some good in the world, but you're limited because of your self-righteousness. think that you can find out what good is, or what evil is, is self-righteousness. It's not the one bright pearl of Buddha's wisdom, which is that when you actually finally come to the ultimate nature of good, you just find that it's very bright. And the ultimate nature of evil is also very bright. But when you understand the ultimate nature of good as radiant and ungraspable, then this thing that we call good will flourish in the world.

[11:57]

And when you understand that evil is also radiant and ungraspable, evil will have no function in the world. But to reach that point, to reach the point of realizing that, hey, I can't actually find good and evil. You sort of have to let go of finding good and evil for a little while. It's part of the difficult work of realizing wisdom. So, before you go down into that cave, before we go down in the cave, we must make an unshakable unadulterated, uncompromised commitment to the bodhisattva precepts of ethical conduct.

[13:03]

We must make a commitment to practice good and give up evil and benefit beings. We must make a deep, deep commitment to that and we must maintain it while We go down to a place where we can't find what we made a commitment to. So as we proceed in our studies of the nature of the world, and we start to let go of some of our ideas of the nature of the world, including letting go of our ideas of good and evil, We must let go of our ideas of good and evil to realize what good and evil, how they actually are. We must let go of our ideas of good and evil in order to actually realize that nobody ever found out what good and evil are. In order to do that without denying good and evil.

[14:07]

Not being able to find them doesn't mean we deny them. Matter of fact, we affirm them at the beginning. We must have that firm base of commitment, moral commitment, in order to realize true liberation. So again, as we go down, I can't probably remember to keep reminding you not to deny what you let go of. I just want you to understand from the beginning you need this commitment. And I'm not forcing you to make this commitment until you're ready. I just want you to know that you must make it if you wish to realize Buddha's wisdom. If you don't make it and you try to proceed along this way, your wisdom will not be grounded. will not have its natural ground. The ground of supreme understanding is ethical commitment.

[15:13]

And that understanding then gets tested in the world of ethics. It gets tested in the world where people who have ideas of good and evil are interacting with you. You test your understanding of freedom from self-righteousness in the midst of self-righteous people. That's really the place it must work to help other people become free of self-righteousness. So when you're free of it, you bring that freedom back into the realm of good and bad and people clinging to ideas of good and bad. Any questions? Would that commitment be formally taking the vows?

[16:42]

If you're formally, like in a ceremony? If you're formally in a ceremony? By formally? Yeah. Well, that would be one way to do it. But... the ceremony is the initiation, is an initiation into that commitment. And even people who have gone through the ceremonial gate, as part of that gate, part of the ceremony is confession and a commitment also to continue to practice confession because it's possible that even though you've entered this gate, this formal gate of commitment, that you will sometimes forget your commitment. So it's not just the commitment of one particular point, it's the ongoing commitment.

[17:49]

So it's not just a commitment, it is a steady, repeated, continuous commitment Because before you actually enter into deep realms of realization, you might think, I have no problem making a commitment to practicing good, especially if I hear that it's not only is it good for normal, conventional reasons, but it's necessary to realize the wisdom, hey, I'll make the commitment. But as you start to see more deeply you might think, well, I don't need to make a commitment anymore. There's nothing here to commit to anyway. I'm free. I'm free. I don't have to do those precepts anymore. I'm beyond this kind of worrying about right and wrong. Hey, this is working, man. I can fly. At that point, that's a time when you're actually on the verge of becoming psychopathic.

[18:51]

Like saying, hit me with a shovel, go ahead, I don't care. So it's an ongoing thing. Every opportunity is good, but it has to be really sustained. So that's why even though you don't hear about it all the time, because we don't just talk about precepts in practice, you have to understand all the time that you're practicing them. always looking at them. Even though we don't mention them, you should be with them. So a ceremony helps, and then you do other ceremonies help. But even when there's no ceremonies in the neighborhood, you're making that commitment, you're remembering it. We need that, especially as we get deeper into wisdom. Because again, it's not so difficult to practice good when you have an idea of good as good. But when you realize that good is fundamentally not good, why would you commit to it?

[19:55]

Even though realizing that about good is what really is necessary for you to be wise about the nature of good. But no matter what I learn, I always be committed to these precepts. No matter how wise the situation becomes, the commitment will go on. And the commitment is here, moment by moment. Excuse me just a second. What do you mean? Pete? Lydia? The precepts are basically a way to check your behavior in the absence of knowing your good to fall back on. The precepts are a way to check your behavior in the absence of knowing your good to fall back on?

[20:58]

Yeah. In the absence of the notion of good as a fallback. Pat yourself on the back. Thanks. Like basically you're saying replace the concept of falling, or replace a commitment to follow the precepts, take that and leave behind am I good or bad, and don't put that on the shelf at recess. So you still need a way to check am I psychopathic yet or not? Or am I still, you need to check your behavior against something. So are we replacing the good and evil with precepts? Well, it's kind of a complicated thing you just said. You think about, you need to check your behavior. That's my question. There really wasn't one. Well, one thing you said is you need to, you got the idea, put good and evil on the shelf for a while. And then after you put them on the shelf for a while and you become calm, then examine them. Examine your behavior. Well, also examine what you think is good and bad.

[21:59]

Like you might be sitting there, you might examine your favorite, like you might be sitting on a maroon zafu, you might be examining your behavior, but you might be examining your behavior in relationship to your idea of what's good. And you might say, well, actually I'm not so sure if it's good to be sitting on a maroon zafu or not. But I am checking on myself. Because I made a commitment to the precepts, I'm checking to see if, just checking to see if perhaps this is good. But actually I don't know if it's good to be sitting on a zafru, a maroon zafru. I don't know if it's good to smile. I'm smiling now. I don't know if it's good to smile. But I am checking to see. So you're suggesting that we stop the present checking? No, I'm not necessarily suggesting it, but I'm saying the commitment is different than checking. Oh, okay. If I commit to good, it's different than checking to see whether I'm good.

[23:01]

It's not actually so important to check whether I'm... It's okay for me to check and say, I wonder if what I'm doing is good. That's okay. I don't think that's that bad myself, for me to be checking. But me checking myself is not as good as you checking me. I think being willing to be checked is more important than checking. Because you can check yourself and say, good, [...] good. Good, good, [...] good. Not so good. Good, good, [...] good. You can be checking yourself. You can say, yeah, mostly good. I checked. I found mostly good. Matter of fact, I found actually terrific today. The last hour and a half, I've been really way above average. That's okay. I've never heard of it as a Buddhist practice, actually, of checking yourself so much and evaluating yourself or evaluating others. But when you actually feel, not so much by checking yourself, but you just actually feel, I just did something that I think is cruel.

[24:04]

Not so much checking myself, I think maybe what I just said was cruel. And examining that that will be actually something which will be good, to be examining the feeling that I just did something unskillful or cruel. Commitment to being kind, commitment to not doing cruel things, would naturally go with if I think I did something cruel, to look at it, admit it, examine it, and then again reiterate my commitment to be kind instead of cruel. That would follow from the commitment. But that little scenario I just said could be occurring while I'm basically practicing tranquility of giving up my ideas of good and evil, giving up my ideas of good which I've made a commitment to.

[25:09]

So I'm putting aside my ideas of good as a meditation practice to develop tranquility. I'm not running around worried and trying to figure out whether I'm doing good or bad. And that comes to fruit as tranquility. But I have made a commitment to do good even though right now I'm not checking or worrying about whether I'm doing good. I'm practicing tranquility but I'm not worrying about whether practicing tranquility is good. I think it is before I start. I think it's probably good. And it's part of my commitment to practice good is to practice tranquility. And in the process of practicing tranquility I put aside my concern about doing good. and avoiding evil. Okay? I've made this commitment, and if, while I'm practicing tranquility, something should come up like the thought, I think I was just cruel, like someone comes up to you while you're practicing tranquility, and they say, could you help me?

[26:13]

And you say, get out of here. I'm practicing tranquility. Don't bother me. Then after you say that, you might think, hmm, that was cruel. That was unkind. And actually your tranquility might make it easier for you to notice that you had an unkind reaction to that person. It wasn't that you were sitting there worrying about doing right and wrong, and then they came over to you and you're cruel, and that's what helped you realize you were cruel. Actually putting aside good and evil for the time being, not worrying about them, calming down, opening up, and then coming to somebody and irritating you and being unkind, actually maybe even be more aware of how unkind it was. And it might even go deeper into you and feel like, boy, that was really unkind, and I'm really sorry about that. Now, someone could have that realization who hadn't made a commitment. But making the commitment is more important than just noticing it.

[27:20]

Noticing it is good. Making a commitment is more important. But it's not so much that you're checking or not checking. But you're definitely open to being checked, particularly by other people, not by yourself. It's okay to check yourself. Sometimes I think you don't even recognize when people are checking you and they're giving you a message about how they think you're doing. You don't even, you can't even tell. It's hard, well, it's hard to tell. It's hard to tell how much other people are checking you because other people are really into checking you. And most people are really into checking other people and a little bit into checking themselves. So I'm not discouraging checking yourself.

[28:20]

I think that that's okay. But I think more important than checking yourself is noticing what you're doing. Because you can be checking yourself and not notice what you're doing. Like you say, okay, now I'm checking to see if I'm doing all right, but you're not actually looking at yourself. You're just talking about checking yourself and you're not even noticing that what you're doing is talking about checking yourself. You think you're actually checking yourself. But actually you're just talking through your hat, so to speak. But to notice yourself and to notice when you're not being kind, that's really, really good. Good. Even though I don't know what good is, I said that. It's noticing, not so much checking, because you can check and say, well, it looks fine to me. But to notice when you're not skillful, that's very good. That's very helpful to everybody. And that protects other people from you at that moment.

[29:25]

And to get more skillful at the precepts, the better you understand them. And you understand them best when you give up your ideas of what they are. So you make a commitment to these precepts which are the ground of wisdom, and you develop wisdom so you can understand the precepts. But in the process of understanding the precepts, by developing wisdom and understanding the precepts, it's necessary to take a break from believing that your ideas of the precepts are the precepts. My ideas of the precepts, your ideas of the precepts, are not the precepts. They're just our ideas. And being caught in our ideas of the precepts is what we call misery. It's what we call need psychotherapy. is what we call using the precepts to beat people up.

[30:36]

Not just beat people up, but use moral precepts to beat them up so you can beat them up with more kind of like abandon. Because usually when you just beat people up, you think, well, geez, I'm being kind of mean beating this person up. But if you're beating them up with the precepts, you think, hey, they deserve it. I'm good. I'm actually doing a good thing here. I'm administering punishment for people not following the precepts, according to my understanding. But fortunately, I'm not going to do that tonight. I'm not going to punish anybody who's not following my idea of the precepts. So Lydia is not going to get punished for sitting on a maroon Zafu. Not today. Not today. Not by me. Not by me. Even tomorrow I'm not going to. I vow not to tomorrow either. Or even next week when nobody's watching. You know, because black is the usual color for Zafu in Zen, right?

[31:45]

Well, this is a setup. She came here with this maroon Zafu. This could be violating a precept for all I know. There are precepts like that, you know. There have been precepts like that. Like in some Zen monasteries, people were not supposed to wear like red, have a red border on their under row showing. So it could be there, it just couldn't be shown. It's okay if there's some red somewhere, as long as it's not shown to inflame lust. Pardon?

[32:49]

It's very provocative, that. It's very provocative. So how do they make a decision that this rule is no longer applicable and now this rule is? How? How do we make a decision that this rule is no longer applicable and now this rule is? Understanding how we make rules, understanding how the appearance of rules occur, is possible when you have realized Buddha's wisdom. That's the point. When you realize wisdom, you can understand how moral precepts arise in the world, and then you can relate to them with wisdom. They do arise somehow, you know. Ethical precepts appear in the world, and the way that they arise, if you understand it, you'll see. how wonderful it is the way those arise and the way they cease.

[33:57]

It's really wonderful. But in order to understand that we need wisdom, and in order to have wisdom we have to let go of our ideas of what they are and how they arise. And so you asked me that question and I could tell you a story about how they arise But that would, of course, just be my story of how they arise. That wouldn't really be how they arise. Yes, Carolyn. Yes.

[34:58]

Right. Right. Are you saying you always know it's your story Well, when you have a story about something and you're wise, you know that it's a story and that the story does not reach what the story's about. You understand that. You realize that your story is a superimposition upon what's happening such that what's happening can be grasped by your story. And you can tell other people about it, and we can have a conversation.

[36:00]

So the knowing is not the story. You can know, but the thinking about it or the story is not the knowing. Is that what you're saying? Yes. And also that the ultimate way of knowing about things is understanding that the thing cannot be found. For example, this good, this phenomena here called good, cannot actually be found. But it still is the phenomena which we call good, and good does refer to that phenomena, but it can't be found. Then, if you understand that, you will not cling to this as being your idea of this good. And then this good will blossom in the world. whatever kind of good thing it is.

[37:04]

But if I think that the good is something and I believe that what I think it is is what it is, then the good is more or less diminished. And it goes the opposite way with harmful things. If something's harmful and you believe that your idea of harmfulness is really what the harmfulness is, then you promote harmfulness. It still won't be true that your idea of harmfulness is what it is, but if you hold to that idea, you will come up with a thriving harmfulness. So that's how you promote harmfulness, is by strongly adhering to your ideas about what's happening as being what's happening. That promotes harmfulness and suffering and bondage to that process.

[38:11]

But still, even though I said that, I still have to be committed to practicing harmlessness and avoiding harm. Otherwise I won't understand what harmlessness is or what harm is. And not understanding what harmlessness is is somewhat harmful. And not understanding what harm is is somewhat harmful because that lack of understanding becomes the source for harm. Does that make sense? Yes? What is the relationship then between intention and the phenomenon of good? What's the relationship between the intention and the phenomenon? Well, if you have an intention to do good, that intention to do good arises, I would say, the story of that is that intention is an intention which would be conducive to realizing wisdom,

[39:27]

and realizing good. That's one story about it. That's of the relationship. How the intention to do good, however, when you get into any specifics, would be your idea of what is good. And if you think your idea of doing good is actually what's good in that case, then we have the belief in the correspondence between your idea and your ideal if you believe that they correspond, then I'm saying I have a story to say that is antithetical to good. But you have to make some commitment to doing good in order to realize, in order to realize that any idea you have of doing good doesn't reach good. If you don't make a commitment to doing good, And if you perchance made a commitment to do harm, if you make a commitment to do harm, that commitment will not promote understanding that you can't find harm or good.

[40:46]

Whereas if you make a commitment to good and to avoid harm, that commitment is the basis for realizing that your ideas of good, of harmlessness and harm don't reach either one of those things. So that's why we make this commitment even though the commitment still doesn't mean that our ideas about how to fulfill it are how to fulfill it. This is kind of a law that's being proposed to you and my ideas about this law don't reach the law and your ideas of the law don't reach this law. But committing to this law of doing what's skillful and avoiding what's unskillful, promotes realizing the nature of skillfulness and unskillfulness, which is basically the same. Namely, you cannot find either one of them. But we must conventionally commit to good and commit to avoid evil in order to realize that good and evil are never reached by our ideas of good and evil.

[41:50]

Then we have Buddha's wisdom and then we can really realize good. But it doesn't mean we realize good according to our ideas of good. We realize the actual pulsing, bleeding, living, blossoming good. Not just the idea, but the actuality. Which we then bring into the world where people who are still believing in their ideas of good can see actual living good and they kind of, somehow it gets to them. They kind of go, yeah, something's there, I can feel it. This is not just my idea of good. This is like something else is working here and I'm lining up with it. So then they make a commitment to it. And when they first make a commitment to it, maybe they think that it's what they think it is. But anyway, they commit to it. And they also open up to being checked by others who have made commitment to it and finding out that their ideas of it are not necessarily it.

[42:57]

Namely, I thought I was doing good, but you didn't think so. And somehow that means something to me. But if I think of doing bad and you don't think it's bad, it doesn't really bother me that you don't think it's bad. Because I don't expect you necessarily to appreciate my evil. But if I do good and you don't like it, it's a problem for me. I hadn't thought I was, but now that you say that, I think... So now you say, you could say, I'll say, is harm synonymous with separation? Yeah. No. I could have an idea of harm. Matter of fact, I do. I've got an idea of harm, so I can have an idea of harm.

[43:57]

But if I believe that my idea of harm actually reaches this phenomenon of harm, that belief is really the source of all harm, that type of belief. Is the source of all harm separation? Again, the idea that we're separated, that idea is not harmful. It's the belief that that idea is true that's harmful. Separation is not true. Separation is false. Separation is just an idea. If you take away the idea of separation, there's no separation. The only separations you can find are separations which are your ideas of separation. But if we believe that idea, which we do, innately we believe that idea or that appearance of separation between

[45:03]

ourselves and other people, between our awareness and what we're aware of. Things that we're aware of appear to be separate from our awareness. This is innate. That appearance is not harmful, but believing it is harmful. You could say that appearance is the source of harm in the sense that if it wasn't there, then we wouldn't have any problem believing it, so then all of our real problems would not arise. But separation is not true, so it isn't really that separation is the problem, because separation doesn't exist at all. The idea of separation, however, does exist. That's quite available to us. It looks like things are separate. But believing that, that's what sets in motion the wheels of affliction. So even my idea is, I think this is harmful, and you think it's not, that separation there that seems to be there, to believe that, then I want to have a fight with you maybe, or get you to change your mind and force you over to my camp or whatever.

[46:25]

There really isn't a separation between these two ideas, except for another idea. They're obviously intimate with each other, actually. It's only because we're connected that we want to have a fight. Yeah? Last year when you talked about understanding that faith and meditation leads to virtue arising . Teresa said that last year I talked about meditation on dependent core arising and how virtue spontaneously arises from that meditation. So going down into the dragon's cave is to start doing these meditations. on the pinnacle arising. You start to meditate on how things actually happen. Okay? These meditations lead to spontaneously the arising of skillful, harmless virtue.

[47:36]

Okay? However, the meditations themselves are not so much thinking about good and bad, But meditating on the pinnacle of rising in relationship to everything including good and bad. And this promotes actually the realization of virtue. That's part of what I'm saying is that before you go into this meditation which doesn't necessarily mention good and bad, as a matter of fact this meditation which starts to loosen your idea of what good and bad are, we make a commitment to good and make a commitment to avoid harmful things. as an ongoing basis for studying dependent co-arising. And in fact this meditation will not just give rise perhaps to further commitments to virtue, but it'll actually give rise to virtue, not just the commitment to virtue, not just your idea of virtue, not just your idea of virtue or my idea of virtue, but actual virtue.

[48:43]

because we're actually tapping into the way virtue actually manifests rather than our idea of how it manifests. Virtue does not manifest according to our ideas of virtue or our ideas of how it manifests. It arises from meditation on the true nature of phenomena. However, these meditations need to be based on a commitment to this thing which you do not understand called virtue. I commit to virtue as a basis for developing wisdom by which virtue will arise, actual virtue. And then based on that virtue, wisdom will arise and I will come to understand virtue. while I'm practicing it. And when I understand it, then I'll understand, I'll see, now I'll see what it is and how it's not my idea of it without making it into another idea.

[49:55]

Matter of fact, by realizing that no idea ever reaches it. And then I really understand it. And that sets virtue even more deeply rolling into realization. So you're just going, you just started to go into the cave there by bringing that up, which is fine. But I want you to know that you have to make a commitment before you start doing those practices. So you do practices of wisdom which will give rise to virtue But we need to make a commitment to the virtue beforehand and continue that commitment while we're doing these wisdom practices. Are you worried?

[51:18]

You looked worried, but I don't believe my ideas about you. So if you tell me you're not, I hear you. Are you an elf? He might be, but, you know, I didn't know if he was or wasn't. He says he isn't. Do you believe that? So if I start tampering with, you know, my ideas of Miss Worrywort over here, or my ideas of Mr. Elf, and if they start loosening up, you know, on their idea, you know, like, I'm not worried, or I'm not an elf, if people start loosening up on this stuff a little bit and thinking, well, maybe my ideas about myself are not something I should go around believing, but just realize, hey, I'm here, I got an idea of myself.

[52:43]

I don't come without ideas of myself. Every moment, I got an idea of myself. Yes, ma'am, here it is. This is me. And now I got another one. Now I hear about it. I hear about it. Let go of my ideas of myself and listen to the teacher's instructions about me. I'm not instructing you that you're worried or that you're an elf. Listen to the teacher's instructions. Let go of your ideas about who you are and listen to the instructions about who you are. That means you're going to loosen up on this like worrying, not worrying, good, bad, elf, not elf. So before you start loosening up on these ideas, make a commitment to be a good elf. Make a real strong commitment to being a good, skillful, kind elf. And then we'll start loosening up on this, what this good is, what this kind is, what this elf is.

[53:46]

That's the kind of difficult work of the practice, is to loosen up on this stuff. And finally, actually stop believing that the superimpositions that your mind makes upon things are in accord with reality. even while the superimposition is still going on. Would you say that louder please? Louise thinks she told a lie And what lie do you think you told? You told a lie? I asked Louise if she was worrying and she said she told a lie when she said she wasn't.

[54:52]

Because actually Louise now thinks she was worrying. Yeah. Yeah. That's what you think. That's what I thought too. I thought you were worrying. But actually, it's not that you weren't worrying, it's that your idea of your worry and my idea of your worry don't reach your worry. But still, I happen to be a person who looks at you and thinks, oh, she looks worried and asks you that. So this is the instruction which helps you let go of your idea of who you are. And then say, actually I was worrying, and now give that up too as what you were, or as what you were. But hopefully making a commitment, a deep moral commitment as you enter this process of loosening up on believing that who you think you are

[56:03]

is who you are. This is part of what it means to, we say do Zen training, but really it's any kind of Buddhist training. And we just say Zen because You know, I say Zen because I'm in a Zen lineage, but really it's a Buddhist thing to do. So give up your ideas of who you are and what the Buddha way is and listen to the instructions of the teacher. And the instructions of the teacher isn't that then you're going to say that what the teacher says is what Buddhism is. The instructions of the teacher are to help you let go of your ideas more and more so you can open up more and more to reality. which is beyond anybody's idea. So part of the conditions of the situation are that I'm kind of waiting around for you to bring up some difficulties, but if you don't want to, maybe later you'll bring up some difficulties with this stuff.

[57:39]

But tomorrow I'll start going down into the cave with you. But I might forget to remind you of what I said tonight, so please remember. this ethical commitment to the bodhisattva precepts. Please take care of that as we go down. Every being and place with the true merit of Buddha's way

[59:06]

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