I've been wanting for some time to talk with you about this expression and practice of a grandmother heart, a grandmotherly mind. One of the places we find this talked about is familiar to many of you. And that is the instructions to the head cook by Heihei Koso, Dogen Zenji, where at the end of the instructions to the cook, he says that In working in any position of responsibility, it's good to keep mindfulness of the spirit of joyfulness, magnanimity, and parental mind, or the feeling of affection that one has for one's own child.

[01:30]

So these three minds, the joyful mind, the magnanimous mind, and the parental or grandmotherly or grandfatherly mind are attitudes that we are encouraged to cultivate in any position of responsibility. I would say here he's talking about any position of responsibility within our practice community, but certainly any place we are in this world these three spirits are good to keep in our heart. These three spirits are just actually kind of an unfoldment of one mind.

[02:48]

They're really not three different things, but they're different aspects or different ways of meditating on the Buddha's heart or the Buddha mind. I mostly want to emphasize, today anyway, the grandmotherly mind. I don't say it's more important, but in a way I think it's maybe what you may hear from me later about it I think in some ways it's actually kind of a surprising aspect of Dogen's understanding of the Buddha.

[03:51]

The other two are in some ways more straightforward. The joyful mind is in some ways very straightforward in the sense that we're just being encouraged to think about how lucky we are how fortunate we are to be human beings to live in the human world and have the opportunity for starters since this is instructions to the cook have the opportunity to prepare meals for the triple treasure these meals are that we prepare here are being prepared for the Buddha, for the Dharma, and for the Sangha. Some of you might hear that in some monastic, other monastic instruction manuals, besides Dogen, he got the idea actually, he's actually quoting from other monastic

[05:05]

manuals in China where the monks are they're also told that it's good for them to think how fortunate they are to be able to make food for the community of monks because community of monks so say the monks community the monks community say that the community of monks is really a great community so we're really lucky to be able to I'm very fortunate to be able to make food for the monks because the monks are so great But we're also making food so that the monks can study the Buddha and the Dharma and realize the Buddha and Dharma. So we're really... You may have some misgivings about some of the monks you know, but this food is being prepared for the triple treasure, not just one treasure. And so, can you...

[06:12]

understand that the joyful mind is, whether you've got it or not, it's the mind which really is full of joy at the prospect of making food for the monks, for the Buddha, and for the Dharma. But it applies to all positions. So, as he said, this spirit of joyfulness applies to all positions. if you're an administrator, if you're an assistant administrator, if you're a servant to an assistant administrator, whatever position you have in the community, there is possibility that one could have a great joy of rejoicing and having a body and mind that can serve the triple treasure. Do you by any chance have that joy now?

[07:16]

If you don't, then it's something that is being encouraged, something you could actually think about and think about until you find something to be joyful about in your work here. Maybe I'll ask you individually if you have this joyful mind and see what you say. Maybe in public you don't want to brag and tell people how much joy you have in serving them but maybe in private you can brag. And then the next mind is the mind of magnanimity which is compared to, in one sense, a great mountain and in another sense, a great ocean. A great mountain in the sense that it's stable and immovable.

[08:19]

And I think the joyful mind, you know, it's wonderful, but it wasn't actually what attracted me to Zen. I think what attracted me to Zen, actually, among these three minds was the was the great mind, the big mind, as described particularly in this mountain-like quality of magnanimity, this immobability, this being unswayed by enticements or oppression. attractive things, praise, pleasant offerings. So actually, I think just quickly, three stories of this sort of immovable quality of the great mind attracted me.

[09:31]

One I told you about many times is the story of Hakuin. who lived in a small fishing village on the Pacific Ocean, not too far from where Suzuki Rashi's temple is. And a girl in the village became pregnant and she told her parents that Hakuin was the father of the baby. And the parents went to him and oppressed him. They criticized him. They reviled him. They said he was a disgrace to the community of monks. And they said, when the baby comes, you can take care of it. And his response was unmoved. Or maybe not unmoved, but imperturbable.

[10:33]

And he said, basically, is this what's happening to me now? Or, is that what you're saying to me? Or, I hear you. Or, okay. So then when the baby was born, they gave him the baby, and he took care of the baby, I believe, for two years. And he, with the assistance of a wet nurse, took care of the baby, apparently pretty well. The parents later found out from their daughter that he was not the father. Then they went back to Hakuen, And they praised him. They gave him enticement. They said he was a great monk. And he said, OK, whatever, fine. So this is my life, that kind of thing. In other words, continued to be unmoved by the enticements of great praise. And when I heard that, I thought that I want to be like that, like that.

[11:35]

unwavering presence in the midst of praise and blame and also I like that story of Buddha you know sitting under the bow tree and being presented with the most attractive possible beings coming to him inviting him to enjoy their devotion and just sitting still unmoving and then the most obnoxious beings coming and just sitting still and not moving I like that And also one time I saw the picture, you know, during the Vietnam War, I saw a picture of a monk on fire in Vietnam. You know, and there's just sort of like this dark charred thing inside the flames. I thought, hmm, there's a monk on fire. I thought, well, there's a dead monk. There's a charbroiled monk. And I thought...

[12:39]

Not much. And then he fell over. Then the body fell over. And I thought, I was wondering when that would fall over. And it fell over. And I thought, it's about time. But then it sat up again. And I thought, hmm, this is impressive. It didn't just fall over. An arm came out and pushed itself back up and continued to cook upright. This is one of those things about being unswayed by oppression. So I was attracted by that unwaveringness in the midst of whatever. And another thing about this mind is ocean-like in the sense that it's no exclusiveness. Nothing is excluded and refuses to take sides.

[13:48]

You say, well, how do you vote for president? Anyway, you refuse to take sides. Maybe you vote, but you don't take sides when you vote. You're on everybody's side. You have... completely free of prejudice. So again, you know, they use the example when given something light, you don't pick it up as though it's light. And when given something heavy, you don't pick it up as though it's heavy. You pick up heavy and light things basically with the same mind, this big mind. It also talks about this is basically the same thing.

[14:59]

You're not swept away by the sounds of spring. And you're not... by the colors of autumn. Some of you might think, well, autumn colors are lovely. But I think what's meant here is you're not, again, swept away by pleasing sound and you're not depressed by criticizing sounds. So it's the same idea of this kind of mind. And then Dogen says that because of this kind of mind, and then he tells alludes to three wonderful Zen stories. Because of cultivating this big mind, these three Zen masters, Jia Shan, Gui Shan, and Dung Shan, they were able to perform these miraculous, or participate in these miraculous interactions with people. And maybe sometime later you can hear about these wonderful Zen stories.

[16:06]

But Dogen's pointing out that they were able to be this wonderful way or interact in this wonderful way with people because of this mind. Just like Hakuin was able to interact with the girl's parents and with the baby in this wonderful way because of cultivating this mind. And then the third mind, the one I wanted to emphasize today, is actually in the text it says Roshin, which means old mind, but it's kind of short for Robashin, old woman mind or old wife mind. And grandmother mind, of course, not just in Zen, everybody knows about grandmother mind and grandfather mind, even Even if you're a grandmother and you don't have it, you still know what it is.

[17:11]

But in this particular case, Dogen's saying that it doesn't just mean kind concern, affectionate concern for others. It means wholehearted devotion to the triple treasure. It means treating the triple treasure as though it were your only child. And we have practices like being mindful of Buddha, being mindful of Dharma, being mindful of Sangha, remembering Buddha, remembering Buddha, remember Buddha, remember Dharma, remember the community. We have those things because, I don't know, because, but maybe because, We sometimes forget Buddha. Do you ever forget Buddha? We sometimes forget Dharma. We sometimes forget the community of practitioners. So we have to actually do a kind of practice to remember, oh yeah, Buddha, yeah, right.

[18:20]

Somebody's talking to you, you know, and you... For a second there, you forget Buddha, and you think something else. Or you think something, but you don't remember Buddha at the same time. But when you're a parent or a grandfather, you don't have to try to remember your kid. It's not that difficult to remember. Especially if you only have one. You know, you can always remember. It's easy. And it's easy. to take off your clothes in the cold and give them to your kid. It's easy to give your kid your food when you don't have much. Even poor people don't have a problem taking care of their kids in terms of giving what they have. It's easy. But the strange thing is that some people in the Buddhist community sometimes forget

[19:27]

that Buddha is really something that they care about, in a way, most of all. Because caring for Buddha helps us care for all things. So strangely, we have to cultivate this grandmother mind towards the triple treasure, most of us, because we don't have the biological equipment to make us constantly be mindful of devotion to the triple treasure. So that every word we speak, we are speaking it for the triple treasure. We sort of have to remind ourselves to make every word for the sake of Buddha Dharma Sangha. We have to remind ourselves that every action is for the sake of the Buddha. Dharma and Sangha. We have to remind ourselves that every thought is for the sake of Buddha Dharma Sangha.

[20:40]

Being able to do that is what Dogen means by Grandmother Mind for those of us who have responsibility for this world of suffering. which includes our own children, but extends with no exclusion to all beings and all activities. Again, part of the reason why this story is important to me is because some years ago I read a record of Dogen's final instructions to one of our ancestors named Tetsu Gikai. Our great ancestor made a record of Dogen's final instructions to him and in those instructions he has Dogen

[21:55]

admonishing him that he doesn't have deep enough development of grandmother mind. And when I first read it, I thought, well, I kind of thought, I wonder if I have enough grandmother mind. But again, what I was thinking of grandmother mind was the more normal idea of grandmother mind. In other words, I thought he was saying to Gikai, You're not kindly enough to people. You don't have enough kind and affectionate concern for beings, for living beings. I thought that's what he was saying. And that's a good instruction, too. But the part that made it difficult for me was that Gikai was such a great... He was so devoted to the other monks. And also, another thing that made me wonder was he didn't seem to understand what Dogen was talking about. kind of straightforward and that's part of what I'd like to bring out to you is that it's not so straightforward what Dogen was saying to him it's not it's actually not that Gikai probably was lacking a kind and affectionate concern for other beings he actually probably had that what he lacked actually was that he didn't understand

[23:26]

that everything you do must be a Buddhist ceremony. He didn't understand that. And neither do most Zen students. He thought there was some other Buddhism than making every action a Buddhist ritual. I think Dogen really loved Gikai. Matter of fact, I thought maybe he wrote Tenzo Kyokun for Gikai, because Gikai was the head cook at Eheiji for quite a while. So I thought that Dogen wrote this just for him, but actually he wrote it before they went to Eheiji. But still,

[24:35]

Dogen was on three occasions that we have record of maybe even more than I guess three times he strongly pointed this out to Gikai that he he didn't have a deep enough development of grandmotherly mind and Gikai says in his record on the eighth day seventh month, the fifth year of the Kensho era, Master Dogen's disease recurred. I was very alarmed and went to see him. He said, come close to me. I approached his right side and he said, I believe that my current life is coming to an end with this sickness.

[25:42]

In spite of everyone's care, I am not recovering. Don't be alarmed by this. Human life is limited and we should not be overwhelmed by illness. Even though there are 10 million things that I have not clarified concerning the Buddha Dharma. I still have the joy of not having formed mistaken views and of having genuinely maintained correct faith in the true Dharma. The essentials of all this are not any different from what I've spoken of every day. This monastery is an excellent place. You may be attached to it, but, excuse me, we may be attached to it, but we should live in accord with the temporal and worldly conditions.

[26:54]

In the Buddha Dharma, any place is an excellent place for practice. When the nation is peaceful, the monastery supporters live in peace. When the supporters are peaceful, the monastery will certainly be at ease. You have lived here for many years and you have become a monastery leader. After I die, stay in the monastery, cooperate with the monk and laity, and protect the Buddha Dharma I have taught. If you go traveling, always return to this monastery. If you wish, you can stay in the hermitage. Shedding tears, I wept and said in gratitude,

[28:03]

I will not neglect in any way your instructions for both the monastery and myself. I will never disobey your wishes. Then Dogen also shedding tears and holding his palms together, said, I am deeply satisfied. For many years I have noticed that you are familiar with worldly matters and that within the Buddha Dharma you have a strong way-seeking mind. Everyone knows your deep intentions. But you have not yet cultivated a grandmotherly heart.

[29:12]

As you grow older, I am sure you will develop it. Restraining my tears, I thanked him. At that time, the head monk, Ejo, was also present and heard this conversation. I have not forgotten the admonitions that I did not have a grandmotherly heart. However, I didn't know why Dogen said this. Some years later, excuse me, some years earlier, when I returned to Eheji and had gone to see him, he had given me the same admonishments during a private discussion.

[30:16]

So this was the second time he told me this. On the 23rd day of the seventh month of that year, before I went to visit my hometown, Dogen told me, You should return quickly from this trip. There are many things I have to tell you. On the 28th day of the same month, I returned to the monastery and paid my respects to my master. He said, while you were gone, I thought I was going to die, but I am still alive. I have received several requests from the Lord Yoshishige Atano at the governor's office in Rokuharamitsu in Kyoto to come to the capital for medical treatment.

[31:27]

At this point, I have many last instructions, but I am planning to leave for Kyoto on the fifth day of the eighth month. Although you would be very well suited to accompany me on the trip, there is no one else who can attend to all the affairs of the monastery. Therefore I want you to stay and take care of the administration. Sincerely, care for the monastic affairs. This time, I am certain my life will be over. Even if my death is slow in coming, I will stay in Kyoto this year. I do not think the monastery belongs to others, but consider it... Excuse me.

[32:34]

Do not think the monastery belongs to others. but consider it your own. Presently, you have no position. He wasn't Tenzo anymore, but would soon be the director. But you have served repeatedly on the senior staff. You should consult with the others on all matters and not take decisions on your own. Since I am very busy now, I cannot tell you the details. Perhaps there are many things that I will have to tell you later from Kyoto. If I live to return from Kyoto, then next time we meet I will certainly teach you the secret procedures for Dharma transmission. However,

[33:35]

When someone starts these procedures, small-minded people may become jealous. So you should not tell other people of this. I know that you have an outstanding spirit for both mundane and super-mundane worlds. However, you still lack grandmotherly heart. This is the third time, he told him. Dogen had wanted me to return quickly from my trip so that he could tell me these things. I am not recording further details here. Separated by a sliding door, the senior nun, Hagi, heard this conversation. On the third day of the eighth month, Dogen gave me a wood block for the printing of the eight prohibitory precepts.

[34:49]

On the sixth day of the month, bidding farewell to Dogen at an inn in Wakimoto, I respectfully asked, I deeply wish I could accompany you on this trip. but I will return to the monastery according to your instructions. If your return is delayed, I would like to go to Kyoto to see you. Do I have your permission? He said, of course you do. You don't need to ask any further about it. I am having you stay behind only in considerations of the monastery. I want you to attentively manage the affairs of the monastery. Because you are a native of this area and because you are a disciple of the late master Akon, many people in this province know your trustworthiness.

[35:57]

I'm asking you to stay because you are familiar with matters both inside and outside the monastery. I accepted this respectfully. It was the last time I saw Dogen. And it was his last instruction to me. Taking it to heart, I have never forgotten it. In the following year or so, he continued to meditate on his teacher's instructions about the grandmotherly mind.

[37:03]

And finally, something changed. And he wrote, in the past year or so, I had been reflecting on the talks I heard given He's recording this, but he's talking to Ajo, his new teacher. In the past year or so, I have been reflecting on the lectures I heard given by our former teacher. Even though I heard all of them from our former teacher, now they are different in meaning than at first. The difference concerns the assertion that the Buddha way transmitted by our teacher is the correct performance of monastic path.

[38:08]

The Buddha way as transmitted by our teacher is the correct performance of monastic path. The Buddha way, as transmitted by Dogen, is to make life a communal ritual. Even though I heard that the Buddha way is the Buddha rituals, even though I heard that the Buddha way is that all actions are rituals enacting the Buddha. In my heart, I privately felt that true Buddhism must reside apart from this performance of daily monastic tasks.

[39:11]

Recently, however, my mind has changed. I now know that monastic ritual and deportment themselves are the true Buddha way. Even if apart from me there is also an infinite Buddha way of the Buddha ancestors, still it is the very same Buddha way. I have attained true confidence in this profound principle that apart from the lifting of the arm and the moving of one's leg as Buddha's conduct, there can be no other reality. Last night we chanted the three pure precepts and the first one, the way we chanted last night was, I vowed to embrace and sustain right conduct

[40:23]

But this is the official Zen center form. The way that I say it in ordination ceremonies, which is the way it actually says in the ordination book, is to embrace and sustain regulations and ceremonies. The first pure precept is to embrace and sustain life as monastic ceremonies. as ceremonies to manifest the Buddha Dharma now in this action of body, speech, and mind. Receiving these precepts is called pokudo, which means attaining enlightenment, When Gikai said, I now see that apart from lifting the arm or moving the leg within Buddha's conduct, and Buddha's conduct is the activity of Buddha, and the activity of Buddha is the way all beings are practicing together with all Buddhas, that activity

[41:50]

is the activity in which we think and speak and move when we are making our thinking, speaking and moving a celebration and enactment of that reality. And there is no other reality according to Gikai. And he said this thing about raising the arm and moving the leg because he came from a school of Zen which had a subtly reversed view of the Dharma. For them, they said that anything you do, for example, just simply lifting your arm and moving your leg, was embraced by the Buddha Dharma. So he grew up in a... Zen culture, his teacher, his first teacher before Dogen was a teacher of a tradition which taught that anything you do is embraced by original awakening and Buddha nature.

[43:04]

It's very close to what Dogen says and in a sense it's the opposite. It's not that anything you do or anything I do is the Buddha way. But very close to that is Dogen's teaching which is everything we do and say must be done as the Buddha Dharma to do all actions for the sake of Buddha Dharma is the Buddha way but to say whatever you do is the Buddha way is a rejection of the moral foundation of Buddhism it's putting too much weight on the confidence in our Buddha nature and not enough weight on enacting our Buddha nature in every moment of life.

[44:06]

This way of enacting the Buddha Dharma in every action is the grandmotherly mind that Gikai didn't have enough of but finally understood. as a result his way was very action-oriented and almost no studying of Buddhist scriptures anymore in his community just activity every activity being done as a ceremony of attaining enlightenment but he had to do that as an antidote to his earlier training which says whatever you do is the Buddhism. Anything you do is Buddhism rather than make whatever you do. In the last of the 16 bodhisattva precepts, which is not disparaging the triple treasure, Dogen makes a comment on that.

[45:21]

in what's called Kyoju Kaiman, or the receiving and teaching or bestowing and teaching the precepts. His comment on the last precept is, the way we translated it before was, the body is manifested. The Dharma is unfolded. and there is a bridge in the world for crossing over." Recently, I was going to write those characters for that comment on some people's Roxas. When I looked at the characters, I realized instead of reading it as the body is manifested and the Dharma is unfolded, another way of translating it would be, manifest the body, and enact the Dharma.

[46:31]

The word for unfold can also mean enact. And instead of reading it as the body is manifested and the Dharma is enacted, you can read it the other way around, because it actually says the first character is manifest, and then the body, and then enact. the Dharma, manifest the body, enact the Dharma, manifest the Buddha body, enact the Dharma, manifest the Buddha body. This is the Grandmother Mind. So we have this monastery here. We have this practice place. I really encourage you and me to, moment by moment, practice his grandmotherly mind, which took a great ancestor a long time to understand. So if you don't get it, you have good company.

[47:31]

To really understand every activity manifests the body of Buddha. Every activity enacts the Dharma. With the feeling like taking care of the most precious thing in your life very warm very passionate wholehearted fearless unselfish joyful with no exclusion so all the minds are there but also make this the Buddha way don't wait for later to realize it. This is attitude that we can carry all the time through the whole practice period. So we may be studying other things, but this is basic. And this is the thing, which it just took me a long time to figure out what Ikai's problem was.

[48:39]

He looked so great. He was such a great Tenzo. Dogen loved him so much, but he didn't get this point. thought that there was still something besides just directly enacting. So somebody came to Dokstan and they said, I know I'm supposed to be talking about Dharma, but I really want to know about your grandson and your daughter. I said, you can ask me about that if you want to. Want to ask me about my grandson? No?

[49:40]

I asked the staff if he could come to visit. He wants to visit Tassajara. Did you have a discussion? What'd they say? OK. So my grandson's going to come to visit to test your grandmother mind. How old is he? He's three and three-fourths. Yes, Jamie? She'd never asked. One of the latest developments is a couple of weeks ago I heard that, I didn't hear this directly, this may not have happened, but he told his mother that he was married to Ravi.

[50:42]

And his mother, somewhat concerned with proper education, said, well, you can't be married to a dog. Because dogs are different species. You have to marry like humans. And he said, but I love her very much. And we're already married anyway. So she's my wife. I have no choice. And then recently she told me that they went to a park where there was dogs, and he went up to the owner of a Jack Russell Terrier, and he said, your dog's just like my wife. And then I was talking to my daughter to get some measurements of his body because we're making him a Zendo outfit.

[52:03]

And she said, he's really stoked about coming to Tatsahara. As soon as he wakes up in the morning, while he's still kind of rubbing his eyes and not really awake, he said, is today the day... Did I go to visit granddaddy and my wife? Now, a little comment on this. This is like a typical human situation. He's in love with this dog. He loves her very much. And he thinks she loved him very much, but actually she hates him. He loves her so much, he just goes, oh, Rosie, my dear little Rosie. She's going, eh, lousy competitor. You're the little prince here, aren't you? Yeah, sure, yeah. She hates him. She's restraining herself from him. Now, because he knows if she bites the prince, what will happen?

[53:10]

But he's really like, if no one was looking. And he's going, oh, my dear wife, I love you so much. He says to his mom, I love taking hikes with Abu, which is what he calls his grandmother and granddaddy and my wife. And there's several other stories, but one of them I'm going to save until we get into the deep and difficult practice of wisdom study. But I'll tell you one more easy one, and that is, I was talking to one of the students here about hedgehogs. They have a lot of hedgehogs in England. I've never seen a hedgehog in the United States. Has anybody? Hedgehogs live in hedges, and they have a lot of hedges in England, especially in Devon. They're like little porcupines.

[54:15]

They're about this big, and they have spines on them. And there was a famous hedgehog named Mrs. Tiggywinkle. So I said to this person, did you read Beatrix Potter? And she said, no. I said, well, Mrs. Tiggywinkle is a wonderful hedgehog that's in Beatrix Potter books. But the person said, I like Madeline stories. I said, oh, my grandson likes Madeline, too. Especially she likes Madeline in the bad hat. He's the bad hat. Pepito. Naughty boy. who gives Madeline a lot of trouble. Anyway, so recently his grandmother went to Paris on a little vacation. And he knew about this, so he's reading his Madeline book. He's turning through the pages and he said, where's Abu? Why isn't she in here?

[55:17]

I thought she went to Paris. Any other questions? I think about November 5th. are...

[56:01]

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