May I tell you a story about my life? I get invited to go and talk to people sort of about whatever I want to talk about. Generally, I'm told what to talk about. And what I often want to talk about is Teachings are intended for heroic spirits. So if I'm invited to go someplace, in some ways there should be an announcement, this person's coming, but the teaching is for heroes, and then maybe nobody would come.

[01:03]

So then I would feel like, well, what did I go for? So I don't actually warn people too much. I just say things like a class on Zen meditation on the roots and perfect wisdom. These teachings about perfect wisdom are offered for a heroic heart. So this issue of the roots And part of the root of perfect wisdom is the aspiration is a wish in the heart of a living being. Various species could have this aspiration.

[02:04]

So in particular concerning human beings, it's like an aspiration that can arise in a heart of a living being, a human being, to realize true enlightenment in order to benefit all beings. So that's the teachings on perfect wisdom that are being offered are for such beings. And that wish which those beings have is one of the roots or a fundamental root of perfect wisdom. The tree of perfect wisdom, in a sense, it's like a tree.

[03:11]

It has roots and not just one root. You could say maybe it has a tap root, but it also has many, many roots. But one is the wish to really correctly understand the mind of living beings. in order to benefit living beings. And it's an awesome aspiration. And some people feel, the teachers of perfect wisdom feel, that it's just about the best aspiration that there can be for a living being. At the beginning of the class, It's a good time to look and see, is there an aspiration? Without being arrogant, is it possible to aspire to understand our mind as to be liberated and to be able to liberate beings from the consciousness of living beings, which is their problem.

[04:31]

The beings of bodhisattvas are beings on the path to become Buddhas, to become optimally beneficial to all beings, to become the best friend and helper that a bodhisattvas have such an aspiration and some of us who aren't even bodhisattvas could have that aspiration to have that aspiration doesn't immediately make you a bodhisattva even though it's to wish for such a thing is inconceivably wonderful still that doesn't immediately make you into a bodhisattva but if you repeatedly return and discover that aspiration of it properly then you will become a bodhisattva and bodhisattvas do not necessarily think that they want to study the perfection of wisdom when they start

[05:55]

They find out later that that's . So in the teachings of perfect wisdom, they're often given to beings who are already bodhisattvas, who have already been taking care of the wish to benefit all beings long enough so that they're really like on the path to realize the welfare of the world. and then they're told, if you really want to do this then you should train in perfect wisdom. And I wish also that tomorrow and the next day I look in my heart to see if I wish that and I wish that I'll look tomorrow and I'll look every day of my life.

[06:59]

It doesn't take that long to look. Just a very brief moment to look. And there's so many brief moments in a day that you can look many times and look many times and all those times together. You can look a hundred times in a minute. a thousand times in a day can be sort of shuffled into your daily life. And Bodhisattva is trained to do that because when you look back and look for this aspiration, that nourishes the roots of perfect wisdom. This wish, this compassionate wish to be effective in the welfare of the world. A very important root, or almost, it's not exactly the most important, but it's a very important root of perfect wisdom.

[08:14]

But there's other things that are so important. and i will tell you about them but before i do i just want to pause here and see how you're doing with this what i said so far is that hard for you to look and see and somebody who i think i imagine is oftentimes surpasses me in virtue told me recently that she did not aspire to enlightenment. And I said, okay, you know, as beneficial as you possibly could be for your granddaughter. And she said something like, I'll think it over. So some people are humble and they don't phrase devotion to certain... they're devoted to some beings like their grandchildren, but they don't necessarily say, I want to... I aspire to enlightenment.

[09:32]

They don't say that. And some great people don't say that. Some great people don't want to come to my classes. And they don't have to. And I'm still devoted to them. Like my granddaughter does not think like this. And I'm happy to be devoted to her. What do you mean by surpasses you in virtue? Pardon? What do you mean by surpasses you in virtue? Well, I don't know. I think I said I imagine she is. Sometimes I think, oh, she's more virtuous. She's more generous. Or she can type faster. She's more virtuous typist. Or she can read poetry better than me.

[10:36]

Or... Yeah. I think I see various virtues in people, and sometimes when I'm contemplating people's virtues, I think, I might think, wow, they're more virtuous than me. I would like to be as virtuous as they are in that particular way. Is virtue the same as talent? Sounds like you have talents. Well, I might be a talented typist, but I can't because I never practice. Who knows how talented I am? Some people work really hard and become really great typists. Some people work really hard at being generous and are really good. Is it a talent? Maybe. Well, why are you evaluating? Pardon? Why are you evaluating? just comes naturally. Like I thought when I came in this room I evaluated what was making that ticking sound. And I thought, well, maybe it's the fan.

[11:39]

Karmic consciousness evaluates. Karmic consciousness evaluates. So if you ask me what my karmic consciousness evaluates, it's its nature to do so. So it goes and it says, In other words, what I'm trying to say to you is that some people who do not aspire to this bodhisattva path are people of great virtue. I'm just pointing that out. Some people who have this vow are kind of not very virtuous. But they're on this amazing path. And some other people are more virtuous, and they do not choose this path. They're virtuous, but they say, that's too much. I don't sign up for that. Other people, maybe because they're foolhardy, and then once they sign up, they say, whoops, now how can I get out of this?

[12:45]

And then the answer is, another root is that there's an answer. And the answer is, well, it's too late. You can't get out now. So I just... I do not want to... On the path, we do not talk down about people, we do not look down on people who do not have this path. People who do not want to walk this path, this path does not look down on anybody. It looks level or up. That's part of the path. Buddha does not look down on people. Just like I said, I don't look down on my granddaughter who does not have this vow. And possessive. For example, of her mother. I told you about that, right?

[13:47]

Her mother is her mother. Her mother is not my daughter. Her mother's not her brother's mother, etc. The person is, is her mother. So this is just a sampling of how greedy she is. My mommy. And you may know some other people like that. I don't look down on her. So perhaps this can be a recurring, I hope, I pray that this can be a recurring meditation that we just keep remembering that this, the Zen practice is the practice of perfect wisdom and the practice of perfect wisdom is bodhisattvas, is for those who wish to wish to realize Buddhahood for the welfare of the world.

[14:52]

And I've told you before also, many people come to Zen Center and say, I do not want to be a Buddha. Is it alright for me to stay? And at this point, In the history of Zen, when they ask me, I say, yes. But it's possible that later in my life, I'll tell all those people that just say they don't want to be Buddhists, I'll tell them to get out. And recently I was listening to Suzuki Roshi, and he was talking about the kind of meditation practice where no matter what's happening, ...is Buddhahood. If you're cold, it's cold Buddha. If you're hot, it's hot Buddha. If you're confused, it's confusion Buddha. If you're afraid, it's fear Buddha.

[15:57]

No matter what, it's Buddha. And he said, Not too many people here, wherever he was, have this kind of conviction. You must have this kind of a conviction. And if you don't, I should tell you to get out. Get out means come back with that kind of conviction. He didn't talk like that very often, but this is one of the times when he was being... kind of heroic, taking a chance. And he's talking to people who I think couldn't get out very easily anyway. Yes? I was just remembering, I think LBJ said that what's convincing is conviction.

[16:58]

What's convincing? Yeah. But I wanted to ask, related to that, falling into the trap of evaluation, evaluating the path, if you're on the path, how do you avoid describing a value to it, because when you value it, something else has a less value. As you raise the value up, how do you avoid falling into that sort of self-righteousness of being on the path of beautifulness? Did you hear his question? How do you avoid falling into self-righteousness on the Buddha path? Okay. Well, number one, I would say, do you aspire to not fall into self-righteousness? Well, I'm asking you, do you aspire to not fall into self-righteousness? You do. Okay, so if you aspire to it,

[17:59]

way of practicing is that you could request to receive that precept of not falling into self-righteousness from somebody else. And not falling into self-righteousness is one of the precepts of the bodhisattva path. One of the ways you can put it is not praising yourself at the expense of others. If you aspire to that precept, then it's recommended that you receive it from somebody else. In other words, don't just give it to yourself. Ask for it and receive it. and aspire to it, and then fail at it. In other words, fall into self-righteousness. You will. Probably, not all the time, maybe even not very often, but you will fall. Nobody receives these precepts and immediately is successful with no slipping. So the way, the path to not fall into self-righteousness of aspiring to it and receiving a precept from somebody else correctly and then trying and then failing and then confessing that you failed.

[19:13]

I think I was self-righteous there for a second or for a minute or for a day. I was self-righteous and I'm sorry I was self-righteous. I confess I thought I was better than people who do not walk this path. I confess it and I'm sorry. I don't want to think that I failed at what I want to do. And I'm sorry. This is called revealing and disclosing your lack of faith in what you aspire to. But you still aspire to it. And you have faith that it would be good to not be self-righteous because as you know, I shouldn't say as you know, as you might know, You see something good, if you hold on to it, it hurts it. If you see something bad and you hold on to it, it gets worse. But if you see something good and you take care of it without holding on to it, it blossoms.

[20:18]

Righteousness is something not to grab. To be convinced of something, when you're really convinced, you don't have to hold on to it anymore. In the meantime, you sometimes grasp it. And one of the precepts is not to think you've got the good in somebody who doesn't. And all the other precepts, each one of which, when you grab them in a way, you're slipping into self-righteousness. So the path to not falling is the path of not falling. When you don't, you don't, which is great. to notice when you do fall and confess and repent it and try again. That's the path. Most enlightened training centers, if you go in there, you will find self-righteous people, some of whom will admit it. If you go into a place where people are trying to be cruel, they might not be thinking that they're kind and believing that they're kinder than other people.

[21:31]

But even they might think they're right. But one advantage of being bad is that you don't fall into self-righteousness. It strikes me as interesting that all the precepts are negatives of the path. Do we not aspire... Not all the precepts. There's prohibitory precepts that are put negatively. There's another set of precepts... But some are because putting it negatively... Now say what's good about negativity. Say what you saw about negativity. To me, it's more relative, so I can relate to it in my own grasping, rather than having a pure, what I can call pure value, which... Oh, so you're less likely to grasp it? Yes. And it's interesting, before those... prohibitory precepts or those precepts that are put negatively are given, there's pure precepts that are given.

[22:39]

Yes? A long time ago, really a long time ago, I was at a workshop with Ivan Rand at Zen Center at Green College, and somebody was comparing things and She said, don't compare. Maybe that's one way of not dealing with value judgments as much, judging everything separately, on its own. Just remember that. So that's one instruction, don't compare. That wouldn't make life easy if there was no comparing going on. But I guess I'm not teaching the path of the easy way of no comparing.

[23:46]

I'm teaching the path of what? Of not clinging to the easy way. It's okay to not compare. But I'm saying, that I would encourage you to not abide in the purity of not comparing. If you don't compare, it's an easy moment. You know, like you see Yo-Yo Ma playing the cello, or you see him playing the viola. or the clarinet. Anyway, you see him performing, and you go, I don't know, you go, wow. And you don't compare. Oh, he's better at that than me. It's kind of like, you know, I'll never be that good.

[24:47]

You don't do that. You just go, wow. You don't even think, oh, he did it even, and I didn't do it. That's like, easy, fine. And I say, great. Just don't cling to it. And if you... And if you don't... If you don't cling... If you don't compare, don't cling to it. And if you do compare, don't cling to that either. If you say, Oh, I'll never be that good at anything. Not to mention the cello. He was four. You know, and his father was a great musician too. And plus he had talent. I'll never be that good. I'm not saying don't think that. I'm saying... Don't attach to that. That's what perfect wisdom is about. Not attaching to anything. And not teaching is for people who want to become Buddhas.

[25:49]

You can do a lot of good and attach to things. However, the good you do is undermined by your attachment. You can do a lot of good, like you can, I don't know what, give food to poor people, to hungry people. It's good. And then if you attach to it, it's less good. You defile it. You undermine it. But it's still good. It doesn't eliminate it, necessarily. But if you give it with no attachment, then you've got good. And now you're developing perfect wisdom, too. You're working towards Buddhahood. And you can fall into attachment. You can fall into attachment. Matter of fact, that's what John was talking about, falling into attachment, falling into self-righteousness. Righteousness, and I want to get it.

[26:52]

And so here I go. I got the righteousness, and I feel pretty darn good about it. it kind of perked me up there a little bit. And then some people also noticed it and praised me. That wasn't that bad either. All that can happen with or without grasping. There's another route, a sort of, what's it called, a kind of mirroring route of perfect wisdom, which I'll mention after I call on Linda. I was wondering if you were going to... Did you say, oh, good? Were you attached to me? You were wondering if I would what? I'm not attached to saying, oh, good. And yet you said it. It's great. Yeah. Oh, good. I was wondering if you're going to come back to that other root that you mentioned about thinking...

[27:59]

it's too late. You mentioned, you said there's the root of the aspiration. Yeah. And somehow you said, you may already have started, and this is another root, that you may say, oh, it's too late, I can't stop. You mean, it's too late to come back to that issue? No, I thought you said, I think you said, it's too late, I'm Yeah, it's too late. I have to keep going. You want me to come back to that? I'm back. I'd like to hear about it. Once you say that you're going to do something good, you can never take away that action. It's too late to change your mind. Yeah, you can forget it, you can get distracted from it, but the effects of it, you can't take it back.

[29:13]

That's all. You say, well, can't you say the same thing about when you say, I don't want to be helpful and I don't want to be eluded so I can cause more trouble? You can't take that back either. No, you can't. However, you can become free of both of them. And becoming free of both of them is what good is about. Good is good, but to become free of it is necessary in order to be a Buddha. Buddha is free of good and not good. Therefore, optimally assisting people who are stuck in good and not good, who cling to both, and also try to take back both sometimes. Try to take back the unskillful things they've done rather than be responsible to it. Try to take back the good things they've done or committed to rather than be responsible.

[30:18]

By being responsible, and the skillful, we move towards perfect wisdom, which liberates us from clinging to skillful and unskillful. And then that eliminates the unskillful and promotes the skillful. But as the skillful gets promoted, all the more likely that you're going to cling to it to get famous for it. Still, it's possible, no matter how good you get, it's possible to not cling to it. And then, even if you're that good, if you don't cling to it, then the good blossoms. That's the principle that I'm proposing. Don't try to go back, go forward. Be sorry that you did something unskillful and maybe even be sorry that you're committed to do good, or be sorry you did something good, but when you feel sorry that you did something good, that is harmful.

[31:27]

And you can't take that back either. However, if you're responsible for being sorry that you did something good, because the person did say thank you, if you're responsible for that, that will lead you to, I wish I hadn't helped that person. and then if you don't attach to it that's the point of this study is to not attach to anything so that you can open up to reality and benefit all beings to show them how to open up to reality and in order to do this work it's good to look and see do you want to do this work Do you want to, like, be responsible for everything you do and everything you wish? Do you want to do that? And I might say no. Do you want to do it once you understand that perfect wisdom requires it and that perfect wisdom is required in order to help people fully?

[32:33]

Okay. If that's the case, I will. If understanding emptiness of all things, if understanding the insubstantiality of good and evil is necessary in order to benefit people, I will do that work. And being responsible for all my actions is the ground for my system. Does that make sense now? Somewhat? Yes. Perfectly? Lois? Yes, I have. Would Buddha have? I don't know. I heard he did. But I don't know if he would have. Well, direct translation... There are many possible translations.

[33:43]

Another translation is wisdom which goes beyond any idea of wisdom. Wisdom which transcends wisdom. Wisdom which doesn't even hold on to wisdom. Okay, well, let's use... No, use wisdom that doesn't even hold on to wisdom. That's the one you like, right? Yeah, that's good. That's perfect, as a matter of fact. I said that was perfect. I hope you don't feel insulted. Okay. Earlier you said about if you have an aspiration, and I think it was the effort, take care of it well. Yeah. I have my own. imperfect ideas of how to do that. I'm wondering if you could push down a little bit on your view of how to take care of it, especially because it had the bigoted quality of take care of it, and it contrasted and it positively linked to the work they were doing.

[35:01]

The heroic idea starts being again now the world outside viewing and thinking and all of that, and I don't You know, it's just me going about it. I don't feel good about it. Take care of it. Well, one of the ways to take care of aspirations is to remember them, recall them, reiterate them, refresh them, renew them. So that's one of the main ways. You get up in the morning, what was the thing What was the most important thing in my life again? What was it? Oh, yeah, right. To be really kind to Dick. To Dick? Yeah. Oh. There's no question. Yeah, there's no question. But sometimes you might say, no, what was the point? Oh, yeah, right. Be good to Dick. And you feel good when you remember it, right?

[36:02]

And when you forgot it. And to be good to everybody else, too. To be really helpful in this world. How wonderful that would be. I thought that yesterday and I think it today. And another word I would add to that is to receive. Receiving of that thing that you remember is a gift each time. Right. And it also, the teaching is you receive it from another. You didn't make this up on your own. So you don't think, well, I'm making up these precepts. which I'm very grateful that you received. That was when my experience so far has been to start on the cat without thinking of the cat. This was not the norm of the street that I've been sociologically and had feelings about that.

[37:07]

But it's the I will benefit all Scandinavians, and I will try my best, whatever it is out there that really matters to you. That's a practice to grow into. I would be false if I said, oh, yes, I'm trying to say the welfare of the world is equal. I think it would be a lot of time to begin to genuinely feel that. There's no question about it. Feed somebody. I could avoid burning, and it's taken a long time to really feel like I have the capacity to do that honestly. When you say do that, you mean do that aspiration? Yes. I say it, and I try to believe it, and I sincerely want that, and I do admire people who have that aspiration.

[38:09]

and active. And yet, it seems to me that I have to keep growing into it. And I don't know but it is a sincere feeling. I want that and I do my best. But it happens spontaneously. I can't will myself to do that. And when it happens, it's a stunning experience. Every time you said that, I feel, I want to say hurt, like I'm lacking. I want that. I go on one way, but I don't feel that I'm willing to continue. What do I mean by continue? I keep, each day I ask for that. And I don't know if it's too late. to grow fully into that, research that is wanting this path.

[39:18]

I hear you. And I said earlier that even when you do have this wish, if it does arise, that doesn't immediately mean that it has totally sunk into you. Still, there's the wish. And I think you... It could be stunning or exquisite or earth-shaking or uplifting or... It could be a lot of things like that. But even so, it has to be renewed quite a few times until it really sinks in. But even the first time it happens, it is not something that I will. And that's another aspect of the root of perfect wisdom. Another way, another way to talk, there's some other ways of talking about the root of perfect wisdom.

[40:19]

One of the ways is, can you go take care of your cat now? Elena's going to go feed her cat. It's cat feeding times. Yeah, right. Giving your cat insulin shots. Another root of perfect wisdom is that the root of perfect wisdom is living beings. In other words, karmic consciousnesses and Buddhas are not separate. that's a root of perfect wisdom, that's a root of the wish to practice the way, and the wish to practice the way then leads to actually realizing perfect wisdom.

[41:22]

Buddhas and living beings are not two. So I do not, I did not think I wish to realize Buddhahood in order to help all beings. I did not think that up by myself. And that thought did not think itself up. And Buddha did not make me think that. But my non-separation from Buddha's and Buddha's non-separation from me gave rise to a thought in me So you could say it arises spontaneously. It arises spontaneously in your intimacy with Buddha. In that intimacy, this thought arises. He said that it occurred to me that it was such a shock to me to think, was that what was happening?

[42:30]

I couldn't believe it. You know, that there was a genuine awareness, or what seemed genuine, of that experience. And I said, well, it can't be me, or it can't be true. And I think you just distilled that in the way you said it. Then it came to me, and there's a protest going on, because it changes your entire ego sense of yourself. That's fine with me, but it wasn't verbal. Yes, tell me your name again. Patrick. We were talking about a comparing line and non-attachment earlier. And, you know, we can look at it. Intellectually, we can say, ah, I'm attached to wanting to do this, or I'm attached to that idea.

[43:39]

We're intellectually aware of our attachment, and we know that we can let our attachment go, or we know intellectually we're comparing things. And is that the notion that we're intellectually letting something go, or not comparing? Is that practice? And there's some wisdom in that, I suspect, though we're attached to something. Is the practice of the recognition part of the practice of real life of wisdom beyond wisdom? Yes. If you, perhaps you intellectually, or anyway, perhaps you think, oh, I'm attached to something. And then sometime later you think, oh, I'm not attached to it anymore. And in some cases, someone might help you realize you still are attached. You didn't think you were, but now you see, oh, I was. My opinion that I'm attached or not attached is not really necessarily correct.

[44:47]

And also my opinion that I'm not attached, I might be attached to that or not. So I do have ideas, and I may or may not be attached to them, but I have... which says, learn how not to be attached to what you're thinking. And I just said earlier, in terms of falling into self-righteousness, the path to not being attached to your opinions or your comparisons and judgments, the path of not being attached is not being attached.

[45:23]

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