Do you feel open to the wisdom of the Buddhas? Do you feel open to anxiety? Do you feel open to childishness? Only in others. That's a start. That's a start. Do you feel open to worry? Open to shame? Do you feel open to a lack in practice? Do you feel open to a lack of faith? Do you feel open to everything? Did you define everything?

[01:13]

I could start, but I would not finish. Are you open to there being no Zen teachers in Marin County? No. Are you open to there being no Zen teachers in Sonoma County? No. Well, are you open to me making a suggestion? We have to go beyond being closed to everything in order to open to Buddha's wisdom. But if we're not open, we start bumping open to that.

[02:18]

If you like to bite with this chocolate, you're welcome to do so. Any questions about good friendship? Yes. What's the difference between awakening to and entering into? There is the possibility of awakening, understanding, understanding reality when there's still some appearance of something.

[03:47]

But, you know, have correct understanding and be liberated from believing your past understandings, but still some image of the understanding there. And then the next step is actually to enter the wisdom where there's no image of the teachings or of reality. you're just totally merged with it. And that's a step after awakening to correct understanding. And again, being liberated from misunderstanding. But still there's something standing there. There's still something appearing before you. And even though you understand

[04:51]

that there's nothing external to you and you're liberated from believing that image is something other than you. You're liberated, you don't believe it, but it still appears that way. The next step is there's no appearance of such a dualistic phenomena anymore. And that's not the end of the story. From there, back into images and working with appearances again. But you have entered reality, you have entered the wisdom rather than just awakening to it. That's the difference. There's still some left. You can have more if you want.

[05:54]

Just come up and get it. And someone listening to this tape might wonder, more of what? In case it's not clear, if it hasn't been made clear, there are seized chocolates sitting before me. Yes. I've seen you say it, and I just tear up my head. It's like, are you open to shame? I say, yeah, I have lots of shame. I hope it gets in. But it means being compassionate, but it's fine to be compassionate. Well, the first step of being compassionate to, for example, is to open to it, is to welcome it. But a further opening... is to practice ethics with the shame. So it's possible to open to something and then make sense of it.

[07:01]

Like, for example, I'm better at that, I'm better than that, or I hate that pain. Even though you open to it, then if you're not careful of it, you can trip on it. And then even though you're open to it, it still may be somewhat uncomfortable. So then you practice patience with it. And then even though the shame, which may have some, again, some sorrow in it, is there and hasn't really necessarily changed in the moment, you're hopefully practicing with it, benefit is arising simultaneously with it. Without changing it at all, there's a benefit from these practices. Being open to it can simultaneously be beneficial with the affliction. And that sets the stage then to open to wisdom, which is to open to the reality of the shame.

[08:04]

Namely that, actually, if you understand shame, you understand that there's no way to grasp it. It's not that it's not there, it's just that it's not anything that you can get a hold of. And then you're released of it. And you can understand that when you're open to it and you relax with it. But you can't relax with it before you're generous and careful and patient. And you can be playful with it and you understand that shame, like all things, is... And when you enter into the understanding of it to being a dependent core rising you enter into the reality of it and then you're free of thinking that it's something separate from you that you could grasp or that could grasp you. But we have to be compassionate to things before we can understand them and thereby be liberated from them.

[09:08]

First opening And then, usually we need some demonstration. Someone has to show us the possibility of playing with it, of relaxing with it, now that we're careful and patient. And the teachings show us how to relax and play with phenomena. And then we can open to a really different understanding than we tolerate before. It isn't just another understanding, another story. It's that all stories don't reach. No story of shame, nor story of happiness, or no story of love expresses. Love and shame, fear, all these things are inexpressible. And that's hard for us to open to that.

[10:11]

All things are unproduced. We have to warm up to that. It's not with me that shame is unproduced, but the significance of shame being unproduced comes to those who love shame. Not like it, but love it. Those who love shame can liberate shame. those who have resistance to shame are not quite ready for liberating shame. Just like, you know, we have to fully engage with something to liberate it and be liberated with it. That looks like everybody completely understands that. Right? But it's hard, even so, when it comes down to it. But at the beginning it's hard to really wholeheartedly open to pain and shame.

[11:19]

And you can wholeheartedly open, you know, as open as you can be and still have some ethical training to do with it. And so we do that too. And we don't stop being generous when we start being ethical. We continue to be generous with ethics and so on. So in the story of Wang Bo, there's lots of possible interpretations. One is that his monks were... he hadn't loved his monks thoroughly enough for them to play with him. when he was a very big guy and he had lots of students, so the monks maybe weren't open to him being a little guy. You know, a little confused guy rather than a giant clarity guy.

[12:26]

The Zen teacher can be clear or unclear. as the situation requires. If it helps people for the Zen teacher to be unclear, they can be unclear. People can make the Zen teacher what they need her to be. And she can... Any questions? Yes? It seems like first you have to get over believing in your thinking. Yes, you have to get over believing in your thinking. You think something and you're just so automatically habituated to thinking, if I think it, it's so.

[13:29]

Yes, so part of opening to Buddha's wisdom is to open open to, even though you still do believe, open to giving up believing. You still may believe it, like you still may believe, this person is beautiful, this person is adorable. You still may believe it, but you're open to giving it up. Public domain story of my wife that I tell over and over. Can you tell it? Which one? So we're having dinner with some people. You know that one? Do you know that one, Ningen-san? We're having dinner. She and I are having, my wife and I, another couple. And the husband in the couple is a professor of psychiatry at UC Irvine.

[14:30]

And my wife says to him, what's Irvine like? And he says, it's beautiful. And his wife says, it's ugly. And he says, it's ugly. And she says, you shouldn't have done that. You should learn to be flexible. And I was open to learning that and I've been trying to learn that since. And then some people say, are you brainwashed or are you... Are you betraying your own view? I still have my views. I just, I can just let go of them and I can say that the opposite is my view if called for by my boss. I mean, by my leader. And then someone can say, you know, do you think Irvine's beautiful?

[15:33]

And I can say, I do. I think it's really beautiful. Is Irvine beautiful? Flexibility. Using words to demonstrate freedom. To demonstrate Buddha's wisdom. Which sometimes might look like you're holding on to them. like there's stories like that too where the teacher's like seems to really be holding on to the words and the student seems to be holding on to the words and then there's some debate about whether when both sides are holding on whether there really could be transmission of wisdom in such a powerful interaction. Did you raise your hand? Yes? In the situation where the teacher is being helpful either by being harsh or being sweet or whatever.

[16:35]

You spoke about something like that a few minutes ago. How much of it is a conscious decision and how much of it is just sort of emergent? If the Zen teacher is one of perfect wisdom, It's the wisdom that's talking. It's the freedom from... It's the person who's thinking or not thinking. It's the freedom of them that's talking. And then that's open to a response and so on. It's not like they are thinking or deliberating or planning or not. If they are thinking and they're dwelling in it, it's not the function of wisdom. If they aren't thinking and they're dwelling in that, that's not the function of wisdom. So someone could be not thinking and some harshness could come from that if they're dwelling in not thinking.

[17:40]

And they could also be dwelling in thinking and harshness could come from dwelling in thinking. The teaching is to practice kind speech. But that does not mean that you always do what appears to be kind speech. You will do kind speech, but it might not appear like that to somebody. Say it again? It is the... that emerges from not dwelling in thinking things out. But it doesn't mean there's no thinking things out. Right in the midst of thinking things out there is so much love to the thinking process that there's no dwelling in it. And from there one enters into where there's no thinking or not thinking.

[18:45]

Not thinking is also just an idea. And from there one can respond back in the realm of images, and the images may be quite surprising. But they are the process of transmitting wisdom. That's the theory. And we're testing it whenever we have a chance. Any questions? Yes? Why don't you change your robe? You want a story? That's all I have is a story, which is not why I changed it. It's just a story, okay? But here's the story. Here's story number one. Story number one is I gave my other robes to my dear friend, and she was working on them. And I came back to the room, and they weren't in the room.

[19:48]

And I didn't have a story that she was hoarding them. I just thought she hadn't finished returning them to my room. So I put on another robe. And I have a story that she made the robe I put on. I have that story that she made this robe. Do you have that story too? I have that story, to tell you the truth. I hadn't noticed it until you said so. But I do have that story. The person who was repairing the other robes in my service and in your service made me another robe which I put on. That's a story. But that's not really why I did it. I also did it. You could say this is another story or in addition to the story. I also did it because John Briggs was coming to see me And I guessed he would have his okesa on, his robe on.

[20:52]

So I thought if he has his robe on, I probably should put mine on. Out of respect. Because I didn't have it on before he was going to come to see me. So I thought I should put it on. This is another, a new story or an addition to the story. And I could go on. But these are stories, my friend. And I mentioned I want to be your good friend. So when you ask me, I'm happy to tell you stories, but I might mention that this is a story. This is not the reality. This is just a conceivable version of the inconceivable process of our friendship, which nobody can say anything about. It's inexpressible. But I'm happy to tell you those stories. Okay? Thank you. You're welcome. Yes? Can we go back to Irvine? Back to Irvine, yes.

[21:53]

I've never been there. Have you? I hear it's quite ugly. I guess I just wanted to say it all over again. to scramble me, whatever you said about you could say it's ugly, you could say it's not ugly. I think you said that there's freedom in flexibility or freedom comfort. Yeah, my wife wanted me to learn to do what he could do. She wanted me to learn that. Yeah. And I thought, okay, I'll try to learn that. I'll try to learn to let go of what I said, and say what you say. Why? To be free. Like if Kathy just said, no, I never saw that robe before. Or she said, yeah, I made that robe. Nothing matters. Or she could say, bananas. It's not that nothing matters.

[22:54]

It's that flexibility matters more than most. Yeah. And it's not that flexibility matters most but flexibility matters because flexibility is a condition for what matters most. What matters most is perfect wisdom because perfect wisdom liberates beings from suffering. So if the highest priority is liberating beings from believing their stories about Irvine or about Marin County or about Zen teachers if that's my highest wish, to train myself so that I can contribute to the process from their own thinking, then flexibility is one of the things which people want me to learn. Well, she does. She does, but you do too if you look deeply. You want me to be flexible.

[23:56]

You don't want me to be my views. And I don't want to be rigid about you not wanting me to be rigid. Because you can say, no, I really do want you to be rigid. Well, I count on you as a Zen teacher who doesn't exist to represent to us a truth about the Dharma. And so if I think you're going to just... I know you do. One day you say one thing, and the next day you say the opposite. So you count on me to be different than the way I am? To interact with us from your intention to open us to perfect wisdom. That's totally what I want to do, is interact with you from that wish. However, I've also told you that it's possible

[25:00]

receives a precept like wishing to interact with people in order to help them open to and enter Buddha's wisdom. But one can sometimes get distracted, have a lack of practicing that precept, even though you really aspire to it. So the complication in the situation is I might forget, but I haven't changed my vow. I have not changed my vow. I only get distracted occasionally. Where does it fit in? Which I would not abide in. I would commit to it. I would be devoted to it. I am committed to it. I am devoted to it. And I wish to not dwell in it. Because if I dwell in it, I won't realize it. But how does flexibility in life If you're not flexible in relationship to the precepts, you won't be able to be playful with them.

[26:06]

If you're not playful with them, you won't be able to realize that they're dependently co-arisen like everything else. Like anti-precepts, you know, precepts of evil are also dependent co-arisen. But I'm not committed to the precepts of evil. I'm committed to the precepts of the Bodhisattvas. But in order to realize them, I have to realize, in order to realize their truth, I have to realize the truth of them and everything, which is that they're dependent co-arisings. About that and agree with it, but actually enter it. Enter the creative process of these precepts. And in that process, I will understand them as ungraspable. And then, by my understanding, I will not dwell in them, I will not grasp them, and then they will have a liberating function. The light of them will be realized. Okay?

[27:08]

Thank you for your question. The best things, the best things we learn all the more things that aren't good. The Buddha teaches that in the Diamond Sutra. The Bodhisattva lets go of the raft all the more things that aren't a raft. You're saying raft? Yeah, raft. Yeah, let's go of the Dharma which takes you beyond suffering. You let go of it, all the more things that aren't Dharma. So after you go beyond suffering by practicing the Dharma, you let go of the Dharma, but you also let go of things that aren't the Dharma, which means you practice the Dharma. But after you let go of it, you practice it. Okay?

[28:09]

Any other... I have a question. Yes. A friendship question. Okay. If you have a friend who appears to sincerely want to let go of their thinking, is it possible to help them do that? Is it possible to help someone let go? Yes. That's what bodhisattvas are doing. People who do not want to let go, to let go, And one of the ways that they help people who do not want to let go, let go, is to really let them be the person who does not want to let go. So those are young children, like my granddaughter. She does not want to let go of anything. She wants to get rid of things, but basically that's just holding onto her view that she doesn't want some stuff. So I'm teaching her, as best I can, to let go by letting her be somebody who is the paragon of not letting go and possessive, for example, primarily of her mother.

[29:24]

My mother. Everything remotely related to her mother, it's turned into my mother. If I mention to her that her mother is my daughter, she says, no. She's my mother. She has no other function. All of the functions are nullified, are distractions from her primary function and reality, which is that she belongs to this girl. And I show this girl my way, and I'm her, and she's my leader. She sees that. that she can be that way. And her mother is that way with her too. She doesn't tell her, you know, don't be so attached to me. But when she gets to a point where she sees how troublesome that is to her, because almost all her misery, this, getting disturbed, it's like she goes from being in control of the whole universe to things being utterly, total catastrophe.

[30:30]

But fortunately, she's flexible. And, you know, she comes out of it. So we can try again. But for people who let go and want to let go, we can also work on ourselves and show them how we work on ourselves. And we can also honestly, part of letting go is to honestly disclose when we're holding on to something. And if you're a senior to somebody and you... that encourages them to admit theirs. Because by admitting our shortcomings in the presence of the Buddhas and Bodhisattvas, that melts that power, that confession, and that regret at our shortcomings, melts away the root of the shortcomings. And this is the simple color of true practice. The true mind of faith, the true body of faith. We can demonstrate that. And that helps people. Not by telling them, but by showing them how we work on ourself.

[31:36]

Not by telling them that they should let go. Maybe checking with them if a demonstration of letting go. And then show them. And then when they tell you that wasn't real, true letting go, just show them how you respond to that. Yes? The subject of what? Little kids. Little kids, yeah. Is being selfish, or it doesn't want to share, and you are encouraging it to share. Sometimes it feels right, sometimes it doesn't. Are you taking away that ability, that misery of being attached to the moment? Is that an interference that... Am I taking away... How would you take it away? You should share. Oh, if you say you should share?

[32:38]

Yeah. I asked my daughter how she does it. She doesn't so much say you should share. She more says, I want you to share. I need you to share. rather than you should. She doesn't say almost anything about the little girl. I always say, whenever she's being selfish, I don't say anything about her. I just adore her. And occasionally I might say, I want you to do such and such, but I almost never tell her what I want her to do. But her mother tells me, I want to do this. I need you to do this. I don't like that. She says, I don't like that. But she doesn't say, you shouldn't do it. She says, I don't like it. Because maybe she has to do it. But she should know the fact that the great mama doesn't want her to, doesn't like her to.

[33:39]

And wants her to do something different. That's different from you shouldn't. Because actually maybe she should. So that her mother can tell her that she doesn't like it, which is really important for her to learn. So if your mother says you shouldn't, does that mean she likes it and I shouldn't? Your mother really doesn't know what you should do, actually. She may have some stories, but she's a little bit more in touch with that she doesn't like it and that she wants something else. But it's not clear what you should do. That's what we're trying to figure out. And you can say, I want you to share, please share. That doesn't take away the opportunity for these little creatures to continue to be selfish and experience the suffering of that. With my granddaughter, if I would ever say that, it would not, you know, wouldn't at all efface her activity.

[34:44]

She'd bat that away very easily. I don't even, but I don't say it anyway. And that's not the issue. And, but when it comes to walking in the street without holding my hand, there I say, I say, not that you should, I say you have to hold my hand if you want to go in the street. The price of admission to the street is holding my hand. That's what I say, and she accepts that. And so we walk across the street, And we can go a lot of dangerous places when we get in the car. And she explains to me that the reason why she has to hold my hand is because if she doesn't, the cars might hurt her. And she says, that's the reason I hold your hand. Two and a half. Very smart. Very smart. She's learning. But not by me controlling her.

[35:46]

But by me telling her, I don't control her. I just tell her what I feel and what I want and the way things work. And then she decides. Really, really well. Thanks for helping me be a good grandfather. Because I know you want me to be. It's not just for her. It's for you too, which makes it easier for me to do it. I'm doing this not just for her, but for all the people who will hear about how we were together and how our friendship is an example of a good friendship. Easy to understand sometimes. Because I really can give up a lot when I'm with her. It's really possible.

[36:47]

And so maybe I can do that with other people too. Like my grandson, her big brother, he taught me the male of our species can be incredibly sweet. When I was a little boy, some of my boyfriends might have been sweet, but I didn't notice. I just didn't notice if they were sweet. Maybe they were. It never occurred to me that they were sweet or that I was. I knew that girls were sweet, and I knew that girls sometimes thought the boys were sweet, but I never got it. Especially when women can see that big men are sweet. I just couldn't see it. I didn't know what they were talking about. But he taught me that men can be sweet, sometimes sweeter than the females. So he really helped me. So now I can see these big men who are, you know, they don't look like sweet little, but they're very sweet.

[38:02]

They can be very sweet. And also sometimes, even though they're very sweet, if you scare them a little bit, they become like little boys who are really frightened and violent. But they're just little boys. I can see these grown men as my grandson now. And when I remember they're like my grandson, it's easy for me not to hold it against them that they're scared and violent and would break somebody in two if they scratched their truck. Because just like a little boy, if you touch a little boy's truck, you get really scared. And if he's got a hammer, he might try to hit you with it. So he has to be taught. But still, it's the same thing. So my grandson really helped me with that. So many frightened big boys and big girls, too.

[39:05]

Well, thank you again for coming today and practicing opening yourself to Buddha's wisdom and being good friends to each other. I hope you appreciated the good friendship here. I pray that you practice it because good friendship is perfect wisdom and perfect wisdom is good friendship. May our intention equally extend to every being and place with the true merit of Buddha's way.

[39:52]

@Transcribed_v005
@Text_v005
@Score_86.56