So, it says, something about, where's that business car? Right after the part about the fool. Sorry. The avatar, avatars are like masks in a way. The avatar is like a mask of this thing that's coming to you. It's a form that you can see, you know, of something that's invisible. Let's see, where are we? We're at the end of the day. And is there anything you'd like to discuss at the end of the day?

[01:23]

Yes? I'd just like to share at the end of our last sitting is in my meditation I was able to see this whole one mask as this whole one mind And literally, like when you were talking about the universe supporting you, and everybody supporting you, and the universe supporting you, and I would just call it this way. It's what we ask. It's such an intimate coming, just like that. And it feels so, so amazing. i forgot quite where we were at the end of

[03:12]

but you were having a conversation with Sonia about not wasting time, and I was thinking that we were under this sign that says, wake up, don't waste time, and I wanted you to pull those two. Maybe they're perfect, but how does that work? The wake up and the don't waste time? With not wasting time. without invoking priest you're giving me a temptation there So we don't have much time left.

[04:16]

So each moment is an opportunity to not waste that moment. Each moment is an opportunity to be thoroughly present. So let's not waste the chance of being present with this moment and this moment. I don't know how many more chances there's going to be, but appreciating each moment, each experience, appreciating itself, giving rise to itself. You said good stories hold families together. Yeah.

[05:18]

So what do you think about the other story? Well, one of the main elements that comes to my mind is it has a punchline. It's funny. I think, yeah, funny stories. I think are really, they really help our family stay together. So we have these stories of, you know, people in our family, they were going through something that was not funny. It was really serious. And then, boom, we saw how funny it was. And then we tell that story about our family and our family's difficulties. And then somebody in the family to how funny it was.

[06:22]

And maybe then when we run into other difficulties that do not seem funny, Maybe because we know that our family is kind of like a really funny family, that any minute we may get the current very serious situation, like mommy has cancer. It's not funny. But when mommy was being really neurotic last week, we saw how funny that was. So he tells stories to encourage us, stories which encourage us to see that this story, which is not yet a very good story, is going to maybe any minute be one. So again, I've been telling this story a lot at Tassajara, because it's about Tassajara. My grandson came to visit me there more than 10 years ago. And it was going to be the longest time he had ever been away from his mother, like four days.

[07:29]

And we were close enough, so he dared to leave his mom and be with me for four days. After two days, he said, I want my mom. [...] Like that. Faster than that, though. With that little mouth. And his grandfather, being somewhat trained, listened to him. Didn't tell him to shut up. Didn't tell him it's not appropriate. Just said, okay, you can go home early. We can go home, we can go back tomorrow. And he stopped. I just listened to him. That's part of the story.

[08:31]

And the next day, when we were getting ready to leave, he said, remember yesterday when I was saying, I want my mom, I want my mom, I want my mom, I want my mom. And he said, wasn't that silly? I didn't tell him to shut up. I didn't tell him it's silly. He just did that with somebody listening to him so he could listen, too. And then the next day, he could see how funny he is. We have our family. We do. Find the stories that are funny. That's a big part of it. Every story really is a setup for a joke. and family, then that holds the family together. Or about the sangha, that holds the sangha together. So that's one way to talk about it. Another story is about, you know, like this guy.

[09:35]

Okay? He is a story about the family of man, but also the family of African Americans. He's a story about about—yeah, he's a source of stories that hold the African American family together. So I think Vernon Jordan was just starting to work with him. I think they just started working together and there was this young African-American who was accused by this woman. And he was going to be executed, I think. Is that possible? No, he's going to be executed for this, I think. He's going to be executed for raping this

[10:39]

who said he raped her. Anyway, I think Malcolm Gladwell tells a story. He tells a story this way. A woman was raped Sorry, I maybe didn't mix the story out. So I'm going to shorten the story and just tell you that this guy was going to be executed in 24 hours from the time and Vernon found out about it.

[11:43]

And so they went to try to save his life to get a stay of execution and another trial. And so they went back to the circuit court judge, they went to the attorney general, they went to something else, and they also went to the parole board to try to get a stay of execution. They talked to the guy and they could see their confidence that there was a miscarriage of justice was about to happen. And they failed. They did not succeed and he was executed. And later this woman went around to various African American churches and begged the people in those churches for forgiveness for her saying that he raped her because he didn't. and then after all that after they went to all these places and all got turned down Vernon Jordan to Mr. Holloway I think can I have the rest of the day off and he and he had this new suit on which he had just gotten after graduating from the law school and he's walking home in the heat and he

[13:18]

of his new suit. But his teacher just kept going for the rest of his life. He didn't let these kinds of things stop him just kept going. His stories are stories which hold that family together. Everybody who hears that story says, I want to be in this guy's family. And even though we have problems, we've got stories, and we're going to stay together even though we really have a lot of problems with each other. We've got some bad people in our family, and I don't want to be with these people, but the stories keep me in this community. Inspiring stories in the face that have not yet become funny, in the face of difficulty, haven't yet got the joke, but there are some jokes in the stories about Mr. Holowell.

[14:35]

One of the main jokes is, Mr. Holowell doesn't like that. If you watch the career of Mr. Holowell and you hear the expression, Mr. Holowell doesn't like that, you realize that's kind of funny. Because that means Mr. Holowell is going to go and start working. That's what that expression means. It means, here he comes. And he's not going to freak out. He's just going to go step by careful step. And he's going to show that way. And it's really kind of funny that, you know. We need these kinds of stories to stay together with people who do not want to be at the table with us, who want to play with their toys instead. And if you don't let them play with their toys, they're going to run away from the family. But before you go, I have a story to tell.

[15:39]

Just a second. That's the story of Scheherazade, right? You know that story, Catherine? A Thousand and One Nights? So Scheherazade's a slave woman. And I think after having sex with the sultan, he says, you know, I... with the beautiful ladies, I killed them. You know the story? Well, here it comes. Just one of them. And she says, well, before you kill me, I have a very interesting story to tell you. And so she tells him the story, and I think she doesn't tell him the punchline. I'll tell you tomorrow. Is that right? And then tomorrow, the next day, she tells him the punchline, and he likes the punchline. And then he says, okay, thanks. Now I'm going to kill you. She says, I got another story. And so they stay good stories, this lady.

[16:41]

So she breaks through this sick pattern he has with her stories. Is there actually a thought That's what we're here for, Breck, to hear your stories. I've worked with a man named Phil for a number of years. In some ways, pretty gruff, a little bit hard to get close to, but over the years, I've always admired what he did, the quality of what he did, and I've gotten to know him as a person. I came to admire him as a person as well, very dedicated to his sons and his wife. And he and I found out a couple weeks ago that our work had run out.

[17:43]

and he was looking for other things to do. And the only thing he could come up with was going to cause him to be away from home for a year. And he came by my desk the other day and said, well, just talk to Kathy, his wife. Just talk to Kathy. And she said, I hope you make a whole lot of money on that assignment. I'm going to need it to pay for the divorce. Could you hear that? Huh? So his friend, and he got a new offer, but the offer required he'd be away from his family for a year. And she said to him, I hope that the job pays a lot because you're going to need a lot of money to pay for the divorce. That's not the end of the story. It's not. But we already got the punchline. And now we're going to get another one, maybe.

[18:46]

So Phil and I were both in Annapolis working, and yesterday he flew to Seattle to go home, and I flew him to Sacramento to go home. And they had a text message this morning, and his wife was flying home yesterday. What? Suddenly. And the first thing that came to mind when I got the message this morning was don't waste time. I don't think Till ever wasted time. Yeah, and maybe when his wife said that to him, he didn't waste time. Maybe he listened to her. Because when your wife's talking to you, it's a waste of time not to listen to her. So maybe he listened to her so he could tell you that story. He heard her, and he didn't just dismiss it. He thought, this is a good story. She hung up on him right after telling him about the divorce. Yeah. So he shared that story, and now that story is being shared with us, and this holds the family together.

[19:52]

I went to a Jungian analyst... I went to a Jungian analyst... to tell him about the problems I was having with the people at Zen Center. Because I couldn't talk to the people at Zen Center about the problems I had with Zen Center because they would tell each other and then we'd have a... it would be not so good. So I told him how mean everybody was to me. And he was always like, you know, I couldn't believe how supportive he was. He always took my side. Anyway, he said to me, when people are on their deathbed, they almost never wish they worked more and spent less time with their family. You can waste time overworking. It's a waste of time.

[21:03]

It's a wasted opportunity to not listen to somebody who's talking to you. It's a wasted opportunity. So don't waste the opportunity of every face you meet. Every face you meet is calling for your eyes of compassion to observe them. Don't miss that. Everybody that you meet is calling to you for compassion. Don't miss that. Wake up. See the great opportunity. Every moment it's there. Okay? Yes. This morning, I was about 10 minutes from my home. And I was almost in a panic. I think I came around the corner, and they were in my name.

[22:05]

I don't know how I didn't see it. I don't know how I didn't wind up in this. And that's what happened. I don't know, I was kind of shaking, and my mouth was dry. My heart was pounding. But then 20 minutes later, I was thinking about Thanksgiving dinner. And it just made me laugh. We laughed, too. You could die in the end, but then you're thinking about Thanksgiving dinner. And it was kind of our situation. Yeah. The Monday was terror-enjoying. Yeah, and each one is a great opportunity to, you know, be there for the great meeting. I watched it in my mirror, and I saw that you pulled off the rope.

[23:11]

You haven't pulled off the rope since you've done something. But I'm not sure what. Good. You know, a very brave person will really get a gun or something. But I think I would have had to do something because I honestly blew up over TV shooting. That person shouldn't have been on the road. And then I pulled over and thought, okay, they're stopping me and I'm going to be late. You know, and pulling over. might have meant that he realized that he endangered your life and his. And maybe he should stop and see if you're okay. Reconsider how he drives. Maybe that's what it meant. I don't know. Well, and it sounds like you were there for those thoughts.

[24:19]

I'm glad you listened to those thoughts, whatever they were. Those thoughts, too, are calling for us to listen. Yes, Chris? We had a lot of pain, so we had to have her on a pain medication. But we wanted to reduce the pain medication to see if we could have any more communication with her. So we reduced the pain medication. And she came to, and we're like, Carmen. And she's like, can you please stop? You're such an annoying parent. Such typical 11-year-old words. And then she went back into her bed. We're back on the new Christians. And those were the last words. And, you know, so, yeah. Yes. Yes. I wanted to tell a story that I was recently driving down to Francis Drake so it's a two-lane road and I was on one lane and then there was a you know the opposite lane somebody came along right in front of the yellow stoplight that I was stopped there but it was a crosswalk so there were yellow lights flashing he was trying to cross the road and he was

[26:02]

actually across the front of me, and it was halfway through the other lane. Pedestrian or car? It was a pedestrian. So then a car came along, and it came very, very close to hitting the person. She didn't see him, and then she slammed on her brakes, and she started yelling. She had jumped out of the way or might have been dead. It was very, very close. Everybody was, you know, I could feel a lot of tension in everybody in the situation. But the problem is that the woman, for me the problem is that the woman starts yelling at the best friend. She had clearly, you know, all kinds of signs to stop. But she blamed the person who was walking. So what's the punchline to that story? I don't see it yet. There it is. There was the punchline right there. I had to say I don't see it so you could laugh. I don't see that that's funny. Then you laugh.

[27:03]

I didn't see anything funny about it either. Well, the story wasn't complete. You had to tell me the story and I said I don't see it. Then it was funny. It was funny just because of my... You had to tell the... work at the setup a little longer. Yeah. which we don't want to do. And if you don't work the setup far enough, you don't get the punchline. And the same with each one of us. If you don't work the setup of you all the way, you're not going to understand that you are a punchline. So I had to point out to the woman, the yellow light splashing, and She just rolled her eyes and kept driving. So I still don't see it. The situation was ridiculous, I guess. Yes.

[28:09]

I'm not going to put a lot of effort into the lead-up, But this had happened about a few years ago around my house. And we have a sewage pumping station near our house. And so all the sewage goes to this pumping station and gets pumped out to other places in the community. Well, it turned out I was coming home. There was a big crowd of people around this pumping station. Now, a woman had gotten very angry about something, and it missed the stop sign, and she ran right into the public station, and just tore it down. Her car was kind of up on it. Luckily, she wasn't hurt. But it was really quite an event that happened in my neighborhood. Anyway, the next day, I was taking my walk again, and there was a gentleman there who was making repairs on it, and talking about the extent of the damage, what have you.

[29:24]

And I was starting to walk away, and then I thought, you know, there's a lesson to be learned here. You don't take care of your ship, you're going to create a lot more shit. Also, if you do take care of your shit, you're going to create a lot more shit. Thank you. You not getting it was the setup. She laughed. Did you see her laugh? The punchline was what I said. I just said the punchline is what I said, and it was a punchline.

[30:44]

It was a punchline for the setup of you not getting it. So Sonia's not getting it. I'd say what I said was a punchline. Did you get that one? Everybody, a lot of other people got it. You saw one there. Did you see what you saw? Okay. You're laughing. You're laughing. Do you not see what the punchline is here? Well, you don't have to see what the punchline is when you're laughing. There was one, and you missed it. Wait, there was another one. Did you see that one, Sonia? so getting the punchline doesn't mean you overlook the setup doesn't mean that but everything is a setup

[32:17]

And everything can pivot. Everything is an opportunity to listen and observe and wake up. And being awake to that is recommended. Be awake to that possibility. Including the setup of you don't believe that everything is an opportunity. That's another big setup.

[32:45]

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