Protecting and Liberating All Beings

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Description: 

A residential weekend retreat at Mount Madonna.

Notes: 

Overview of the topics for the weekend. Zazen is great compassion. Compassion is the cause of buddhahood. The Paramitas (generosity, ethics, patience, effort, concentration and wisdom) are training methods in compassion until finally, with wisdom, the intimacy with all things is realized and the other five are practiced from the standpoint of nonduality. Intimacy protects and liberates all beings. Discussion of how this works with various aspects of daily life including old age, sickness and death, racism, pain (our own and others)

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a's

oh hi
well well how come everybody it's it's so lovely that so many people came it's great to see you are i just wanted to make a couple of announcements one of which is that because his website we tried to do this a little differently to keep the costs down why are the things that it is part of that process is that all
of the money that you paid when to your room and board and to went oliver's lovely facility and there is no donation for the teacher in that and so for your for your consideration we have a donation box over there in the corner for teaching donations and that total
a dependent on how your practice of generosity there is no minimum there's no maximum there's no recommendation it's whatever feels appropriate and comfortable for you will he just wanted to say that there
oh and i also wanted to mention when did if business from mount madonna as you know they have put out a lot of cushions and blankets you're welcome to use all of those but i think that they would like you to keep track of them and at the end of sunday there will be a place to put them because they want to clean them again before
they go out for use again so i think had sale except to say thank you very very much and also to thank elizabeth and urea
she's right over there who was one of the instigators and getting this started an angela nielsen who is coming but i think she's a little delayed by traffic so if you see angela later you meet somebody named angela say hi and thank you because she was also a part of this sub thank you very
much

i'm moving slowly so that don't make it a terrible sounds

i'm sitting in the chair
which i haven't done and pass her treats here
usually i stood on the floor
cross like it
but i'm recently i had on
if you see his expression total knee replacement which is a big operation and things are going well
really well there has been very been very fortunate however
i'm still not ready to sit cross legged from more than and mean like assure you i can do it but only for a few seconds
i can actually get into the position which i'm happy to i'm happy to report but i'm not quite ready to rock be there very long so i'll be sitting in a chair most his time or standing and i may have to lie down
and how i imagine you'll also important in a matter what posh trim and
i'm also i'd for my energy is lot of my energy is going to some mysterious healing process down here
and sometimes you just like
there's none left over for i don't know what and but today or yeah when i really got here i took up just a short nap and i feel pretty good now but i i i don't know what's gonna happen to me but i can't say
as usual i'm here with you and i'll stay with you
but i don't know what i'll be like what has not going on but i'll i'll stay here with you all weekend and then i'll probably be transported back up north clutter but ah and i'll maybe i'll be quite energetic matter normalcy
so please please understand that i'm i'm here for you but i'm not mine
former self
i'm a new self

okay so i'm
this is toward this getting to the latter part of twenty twenty one
and on
yeah spend it has been such a hard year for
billions of people ride so much suffering
ah i i i imagine that all of you are really
deeply concerned and feel great pain for
the suffering of so many people
and we have we well we know we we have some difficulties to
with i don't know what
knee replacements and stuff like that heart attacks
are getting sick we will we have our problems and were also concerned with people who have graders more intense suffering than us more challenging more overwhelming suffering so we're really concerned about that and so this year we've been emphasizing compassion

you know i had i had the good fortune of meeting this nice person this wonder for person names zippy sooner you roshi and he was very kind and compassionate but i i don't remember him to using the word compassion very much
he was compassionate but i don't remember him saying that very often are saying it about people
but he demonstrated it i think what he said a lot was i was in talked about zazen all the time
so i think the has an was his when he also said our practice
i think our practice was and is great compassion i think our practice is
you know in the zen school the nickname of our practice is
zazen but that's that's great compassion i would say

this morning i read a verse
about the founder of zen and the verse was
i think fallen into weeds
while gazing
so this this founder of the zen bodhidharma his prey is practice with sometimes called wall gazing at the nickname for his practice
and i when i saw fallen injured the weeds i thought this practice his practice had fallen into the weeds
have poor human all he all of the suffering of all beings his practice lived in the ways not in heaven
how much as except in the weeds of heaven of course

and yeah i i also made this point in his talk which is on youtube
which was given it displays called know abode is a small practice place near green gulch farm and on the altar that we have the buddha
shocking money buddha
and on buddha's left is a statue of
the bodhisattva of great compassion
and on the right this is a statue of the of bodhi dharma the want the wall gazing person
and i just made the point in our talk of bringing these statues are saying bodhi dharma is
the body sought for of great compassion the zen school or designed to ancestors of zen
our bodies such as a great compassion

so although it's not a word that suzuki roshi used much and i just for fun i looked in num this book
called moneda dewdrop i looked in the index when how many times as compassion mentioned in this book
a four times which is good but not so many considering of the big index and there's a lot of stuff in there but for such a huge topic
not mentioned so much
i think not so many people to exam compassion i'm trying to make a case then what's that is his compassion
and if smart compassionate would say don't use the word zen please or if if you see santa doesn't look like compassion i would say please question it
question what's going on here i will how is this compassion
so again emphasizing compassion
and and not also emphasizing compassion but also emphasizing great compassion
and i wrote up in the board here i'm mean on paper great compassion
and i made an arrow going up to buddhahood
great compassion is the main is the excellent cause a buddhahood and buddhahood the effect of buddhahood is great compassion
and then the title of the one of the titles of this workshop this weekend is protecting and liberating all beings that's what that's what buddha heart put it that's what buddhahood is buddhahood is protecting
and liberating bags protecting suffering bags
and liberating that's buddhahood
and the protecting and deliberating is great compassion doing that work but great compassion also gives rise to the ability to do that so that's the basic
one of the basic proposals here is great compassion buddhahood great compassion buddhahood
protecting and liberating beings

so i don't i guess i want to make kind of i would like to has mr obama used to say let me be clear i'm not telling you what to do i'm just telling you what i think buddhists do
and i'm happy to
give your of assistance to you to learn how to do a good as do

and so i wrote great compassion over there and a to against starting out simply
i'm so it's a great compassion is what kind of put over here
what
yeah yeah buddhahood
good and also zen but also
zaza
and also
intimacy

bhutto is intimacy
then is intimacy zazen as intimacy

so ah there's various kinds of compassion
many people not all people may be are conscious of it but many people consciously want to practice compassion
are they consciously want to be compassionate
and also many people consciously want to to receive compassion
however in this wish is which might be what's the word in mature and in that immaturity there may be some sense that compassion is a
something other than who we are or
compassion is what is for somebody else
but great compassion doesn't have any objects
great compassion doesn't have any object it's not like compassion for somebody
there is compassion like that that we have compassion for a suffering person that that's compassion when you when you want somebody to be free of suffering that compassion
but great compassion is there's no there's nobody out there separate from you
it's just the intimacy of view and suffering people
the intimacy of you and all suffering people that protects people that protects them and that liberates and
in the meantime before that's fully realized we may have compassion for somebody
and yet not fully realize the intimacy between ourselves and others and as part of what will explore in this weekend perhaps
intimacy doesn't have any objects
but me my intimacy with you is not me having intimacy with you it's the intimacy of you and me
i don't have intimacy
you don't have intimacy
intimacy has us we are intermixed we're intimacies children
we are intimacies creation

but again we as we grow up and start to learn about compassion we might start by thinking
she's compassionate to me i'm compassionate to her that's a kind of compassion who again i'll talk to you more about that later but that his a kind of compassion is is great compassion in a kind of limited way of i'm compassionate to you your compassionate to me rather than
and
we're just intimate the intimacy of us
ah
it passed workshop said dismissed this temple i can call us the temple narrowed
on a first time came here and i didn't exactly have a temple did they are no
yeah but now there's a temple here
and also the the papers and used to stick together but now does
so i think before this was a temple when i came here i give some weekend where we studied were called the six transcendent practices of bodhisattvas the six transcendent practices of
compassionate beings
and those talks who became the basis for a book called
and during the mind of buddha and the six basic training methods for compassionate beings are giving ethics patients heroic effort concentration and wisdom
wisdom in a sense is a little different from the previous ones
this wisdom
this transcendent wisdom wisdom is the understanding is the non-dual understanding of the previous six five i mean wisdom is understanding the non duality of giving with wisdom is understanding the non duality
of compassion

you're frowning seventy and i should say something about
no so when people first start giving they might they might think i gave that to you
that's the way it might look
when i was a little boy
i was shopping with my mother around christmas time and there was a guy outside the department store
probably working for salvation army ringing a bell and a santa claus outfit and i took a quarter which is the equivalent of four thousand dollars now
and i gave the quarter to the i gave the quarter to the santa claus and then i looked at my mother to see if you noticed
it was me giving this to him
that was my immature dualistic practice of
giving actually there was not do a practice or giving going on right at that time but i didn't see it
i saw this dualistic think of i give this to him i didn't see he gives the gift to me i didn't see that but it was their santa whatever whoever he was ringing the bell he gave me the corridor
and i received it and then i gave it to him and he received but really in reality there was no object and subject in that interaction
but i thought there was
because i was a mature and sometimes i still immature and still think i give this to you
and then when i'm when i'm practicing giving which i'm practicing to learn the non duality the intimacy with beings would practice giving to realize intimacy
as we practice intimacy to realize intimacy
we practice giving to realize the intimacy we notice maybe some
separation some not some non intimacy we notice it or someone else it helps us notice it
can by saying do you think you gave that to me or whatever hoops i think i did
or someone helps us but not saying thank you and then we notice that we didn't we didn't really realize the intimacy in the giving
ethics
i practice essex
again has to dualistic understanding but if we practice ethics we will discover that and sees it and see that as an affliction
patience
i'm practicing patience with this pain
again in practicing patience is a good practice and it helps us understand
our dualistic relationship or dualistic understanding of our relationship with japan effort heroic effort concentration all of these practices are ways to discover and lecco of duality
and compassion makes it possible to do these practices and and discover the duality in them
to do these practices in order to realize compassion and notice how they are missing the point and not and not lose heart and continued to care for them even though they're a little bit off are quite off
in this way compassion helps us do these practices and realized wisdom in which case the compassion becomes
true protection of bags true intimacy with bags and liberate them

ah ok
now with that introduction i'd like to have some more introductions please
i'd like to ask each of you to say your name
and then for those of you us i can hear the person please say their name for example
barry matter
kim susan says
roger roger
lives all pop
eugene
marie
david
linda
matisse

tracy tracy
elizabeth
occurred
amanda
the
nan i
kurt video

hmm

crystal
three here
g g m it
growth
guy now job
we sat the
a jew you jeff
rita
andrew
and to have
elizabeth elizabeth
ramp
do we met somebody
hama hama hama
anybody else
who did we miss
janet
the
think
if if you would like to me with me individually in that little room across away actually has a huge room collect me to meet me over there you could to tell susan she'll take your name and invite you to come
when the time is right

in my ah
back in the sixties when i practiced it
ah a temple console koji over in japantown
i had this idea of my practice which were a by practice at the zen center i get up in the morning and go sit in the zendo and i would
yea i would be like a sponge and a sponge was full of suffering
it wasn't that bad but but was when i was full of it the smugglers for actually to the sponge was full of it i don't know what i was but i i felt like there was a sponge sitting at my place and it was full of suffering and i felt like i got up every morning and went and sat
that for the sponge went and south and the sponge god squeezed
this you know not to get rid of the of the suffering but in fact just kind of like get really intimate with it and a kind of leg yeah just sorta like yeah this the suffering sponge got squeezed every morning squeezed
the squeezing didn't make it more intense
and it didn't make it less than ten in exactly either but it definitely was like really embracing it fully
so it's kind like patience
i was really you know i was kind of their for this is really big engagement with
this suffering every morning and then after that after that the russians a day was kind of like okay let's go
not so much like it's going to be easy but it's kind of like well that's what we're going to do for their ashes day we're going to just meet or seven out to meet the life meet the day

and has since i've been covering from this surgery i haven't been able to get up early in the morning and go i haven't been well anyway i haven't tried even it just i needed more rest and i couldn't sit really and i did go one time sir
and was too much i set one periods a move too much and not ready for this so what i do now is actually in bed when i wake up
i've been feeling i'm not so much like a sponge lately
but i've been feeling like a kind of a large teardrop
but like one big teardrop
and so i've been trying to
what just in line
part of me wants to like have that teardrop drop but it's not really does not matter graph of good about getting rid of the teardrop is more like i just tried to really be that teardrop in bed before i'd get out a ban
that's the way i sit you know before i get out of bed and i do feel that not every morning but often i feel like i here's such big big big it's not jagged it's a big package of suffering
and again when i searched for know i wasn't used to doing this in bed i usually
usually i'm kind of a little bit in a hurry
when the alarm clock goes off little bit in a hurry to get outta bed so i don't bother certain people and go to the bathroom and go to the zendo but now i'm not doing that so
i'd i do it right there
and i but i didn't i didn't understand to do it at first but gradually was i'm i'm i'm suffering so i wake up i'm there i'm suffering nadia again not every morning but a lot of month or nine nine kind of like where is it was okay hi
it comes and then i'm and if if i can really be with it
i'm ready to go
i didn't skip over that opportunity
i didn't get i didn't get rid of it i didn't skip over it i was just there was it in bed and then i carry on with my rest of my day which i hope basically as the same thing of being intimate with my suffering
suffering is omnipresent in know we not so much i'm all suffering
but the sufferings omnipresent but we aren't necessarily always like present for it
and so i want to i want to do that i want to be present for what's present
and accepting that is buddhahood
but isn't isn't buddhahood he has not got rid of the suffering but it completely accepts that would we have it and accepting it protects beings
which is a good thing right now we want to do that don't we we want to protect them and liberate him but we have to accept suffering if we're going to do that job i mean if we're going to be part of that job
so in this retreat which has lived different from maybe a class tomorrow morning
what we can get up and says wake up we can start suffering
and but different from some other places at we can suffer ourselves into this room and we can suffer together
and you can come here and like really one hundred percent be the person that you are or be the suffering that that is and and you can come and help us i'll do that
so we're not just talking about it we're going to actually have spaces in the day when you can actually like possibly be intimate
harsh it's not even be intimate but that you can realize the intimacy with your suffering and with all suffering
and the lady who just talk to us she said your transformation transforms us that's like
lotus sutra mahayana saddam up under rica sutra tests like our practice
you embracing your suffering is the same as other people embracing there's if you embrace your suffering
that's them embracing their suffering
and so we do it together to make that point so please come in the morning if you wish or don't if you wish but wherever you are please
you're suffering is calling you to be with it
and you are also calling your suffering to be with you
you're calling to your suffering your sufferance calling to you it's just like a credit request has been made of us and that were making we want
calling for it and were been called to it so we can do that in in the morning we can do that my morning and then each session we have will start with just sitting quietly
we've got nothing else to do your and had to do anything else you've got your life you can sit here and be intimate with it and not just for yourself
but for us you doing that is do it for us we want you to do it for us to that helps us do i just heard it's not easy to do this
but it has been called for and it is buddhahood when when has done that is buddhahood
and that and that and that that protects meetings right now
and then and then again and again and again

and again that you don't have to come to this city when if you do it's a great opportunity to come and have some time to just completely embrace the entire experience of suffering and also what's beyond the are conscious acts
xperience in other words the suffering of other people who are not sure you don't have a conscious experience of their suffering you have ideas about it but they had their own unique suffering and you have yours
and yours and particular years they only one who can take care of yours the way you can take care of it has a people really don't know much about it
and in other people don't in yangon
the yeah you have a unique what he called access or invitation to your own
and this retreats set up to offer special sessions were nothing more is being asked of you
then to be here with your life

by the way this is this is you know
what got a sword
unsurpassable joy to do this work it is the most joyful work that there is
again i've i've mentioned a number of occasions this year worldly worldly happiness is really great
you know it's a historically fun sometimes like i used the example repairing a teapot
you know a teapot had my house broke and my my dear spouse oh
call me it broke and she gave me a chance to fix it and i couldn't fix it right away so i said but i have another teapot over it not bode i'll bring it and i brought it and it works it just that when you tipped at the top fell off
so she said i want to get a teapot that works and what a top doesn't fall off so she got this really nice teapot
that works and the top doesn't fall off so i know i have a teapot that works with the top guitar falls off if anybody wants one i got one for you it's it's it's really quite a nice teapot
i know where it is and but again the top if it
if you tip it too far the top floors up or in the meantime along with this then she said she looked at the old teapot which
didn't work and she from her perspective the hookers so the new teapot ipad and the teapot i brought which worked with top fell off and the older was there and sources from her perspective is turning into kind of a junk yard so she wanted me to get rid of these teapots so i took the one way i said can i have a little more time to fix the other one
so i tried to fix it and you know what it was hard to fix it i mean i really just getting it apart to try to see what's wrong with fruity difficult but i succeeded with help from all sentient beings i got cut it apart and looked at it and
i kind of cleaned it up is that some that some grunge inside and i kind of cleaned it up i don't know how it got dirty inside is completely sealed and am i cleaned it up put it back together and it worked and i was really a lot of fun to first it was a lot of fun just to get it apart as a little bit of fun to clean it up
and then put it back together and i had no idea that it was going to work because i didn't think i did anything and i pressed a button and i worked
then i have to i have three teeth pots at work and fixing that one was worldly happiness for me it really was a nice
as worldly happiness however know
no
it is not really dependable this other one this had the happiness of compassion his
it doesn't know it it is is it doesn't come and go is it's like all was right there available and it sustains us in doing this really hard work
of embracing and sustaining all beings which is one of our precepts we vow to embrace and sustain all suffering biggs it's hard it's hard to embrace our own suffering but it is joyful and you can discover the joy by practicing it
and it's a joy that comes because you love suffering beings and because your love suffering bags you have pain but that pain if you work with it right is the greatest joy

is that enough for me for now
we also want to win
yeah but beef before before before you say one thing is that enough for me
when they didn't put them where know you're starting to talk before you started before you started a few questions is there enough input i now you in other words before before we opened the questions and so on is that enough for me for starters
get so now yes
around it wasn't because of ways
slap

and i'm looking at me look mighty
mighty facts
your leg and what i'm acknowledging been struggle
you just found out for example thank you so much that so was this a wonderful observation it's a wonderful observation that you're sharing with us she shuddered and she observed herself she works she observed me and she observed yourself as wonderful thank you and
yeah so what do we do it that nine rescue like have minutes ago and i'm thinking is killing him anywhere and just you know like me and suffering is so far last night
in what happens to you at the time and can feel sick to my stomach yeah
and but you haven't quite fun to joy and that yeah
i'm came yeah yeah i think i can kind of feel like you care about me
and when you see me with it
what's the word for the need mighty big when you see my mighty big knee you go home
i was driving up from
and you know that road
others there's eight through seventeen and then there's there's a ninety two i was driving over ninety two from the coast and i came around the corner and i saw this motorcycle this saw this guy laying next to the motorcycle and the i slept a shot a pain came to me and i thought so good
that it did
i think ah
i don't even know who he was but it is so wonderful that we
we care about somebody we don't know who just got hurt
so yeah that's good stuff and then
the more you can embrace that the better
and you said to get distracted but actually
the distraction that we need to work on is distracted from feeling the pain of my of of the pain you feel when you see mine
i want to not be distracted from that pain
that you that i feel because it hurts when i see you suffering i want to be the pain i feel when i see you suffering is not a distraction
that's an opportunity to embrace and that's the bodhisattvas compassion this pain because you love somebody even somebody you don't know on the side of the road and i also thought how terrible me to drive by and see somebody and feel nothing
which sometimes happens that you don't
you don't love the person enough that to feel the pain that when there's when they're it looks like they're in trouble
but when it first happened as if you're not ready for it you may feel like it is knocking you offer to unbalancing you but really it's is is it it is the job is to be with them it's not a distraction
but it is you could i'm okay with communism mighty big knee
that's true but it's so much smaller than it used to be
when i first after the operation i gained ten pounds
it was almost always for all fluid
i mean this was the it was a mighty big hold the whole language like
i could go into detail if you want but anyway
there is it's been quite a thing
and there's still there's more to be enjoyed
and more to feel concerned about and and embrace that concern and if it if it gets to be so you almost feel sick to your stomach embrace that sickness be therefore it it doesn't get rid of it but it practices the precepts of embracing and sustaining
the being called feeling sick that being is calling it wants to be embraced

no being does not want to be embraced even though they say don't touch me
when they say they don't touch me they want you and embrace them
by listening to them say don't touch me they want you to like really be there for that
like my grandson i was riding a bicycle with them one time and he he was ahead of me
and there was a speed bump coming i said there's a speed bump slow down and he did and then became there's another speed bump slow down and he didn't
and he went flying and he landed on the asphalt and when he first landed he was quiet but then as he slid he started to her more and he really started to cry and i came over to him and i tried to help him and he said don't touch me
and i and i embrace that don't touch me i didn't go ahead and touch me he told me not to but i embraced him not telling me he didn't want to and when he was ready he he could ask for someone to touch him and then we touched him
it
everything including don't touch me is asking please embrace me
i don't want you to listen to me
but you want me to listen to that yes
stay away from me you aren't going to be with stay away from me yes
we need to learn not to be fooled but if this is a hard cook the has a hard lesson to learn that nobody's nobody wants us to abandon them nobody wants us to you know ignore them nobody wants us to kill them
eliminate them

make them be different from what they are
no matter what they say i'm proposing that everybody will say intimacy i want intimacy
but everybody's monetary but almost everybody's afraid of it too
they want to be embraced in there for afraid to be embraced so it's a complicated thing embrace me but not like that
so that's so we can work on this weekend
and i'll i'll try i'm sure i'm trying to take care of this new you know
and also i have this this special pains system around here which tells me if i'm if i'm doing stuff i shouldn't be doing and when i've you know two months ago
almost everything i did i got the message don't do that
a very small range of movements were permitted but now as kind of i say okay you can you can do that you can call you you can put that leg on top of this one
hmm you can put this one on top of that when put like this
and then something like i'm getting the sort slight our information about it no it is not as telling me where to put up and i'm i'm learning how
i have some instructions symptom guidelines but the pain is you know is coming to backup the instructions
some physical therapists is pretty happy with me i'm following the instructions
and thanks for coming along
quite well
but that doesn't mean you shouldn't be sickening stick to your stomach about what i'm doing
because you don't know what i can do encounter

and i'm not going to do a bunch of stuff just to see just to help you see when when you stuff in the sector stomach
can you hear me in the back
anything else you want to bring up tonight yes homer

i hear you and also on i pray that great compassion comes to you're not being interested in words
you said you're not interested in virginia so that statement i'm not interested in words i hope great compassion comes and embraces that statement
great compassion is not trying to get you to trip to not say that
but great comeback
pardon
you couldn't hear homer said she was not interested in words that she said and i said i pray that great compassion will come and embrace her sang and that statement
i'm not interested in words
so
wish

yeah

yes great compassion wants to wanted to show that

the and you want great compassion to show that to you
your optimum okay good

lisbeth
no watch
yeah was again me trying to protect you is you know
seems like
i wouldn't call it a say i'm a good warm up
maybe or it's a good opportunity to learn about protecting albion's
so if i try to if i think that i'm gonna protect you and i can piece gives expression act that out
that could be an opportunity for me to realize that that way of approaching you
is not protect you
protecting you is
our intimacy that protects you and protect me
it's not me trying to protect you and assert has certainly not me
not wanting to protect you and it's not me and it's not you protecting me it's the way were intimate that protects us but that's very subtle and that's what we're trying to discover because it's already here i mean
i don't think any of us are going to get more intimate with each other
we're this artist is intimacy
great compassion is reality it's not something we make intimacy is reality we are intimately connected with each other right interdependence all that it's already that that's that's to teaching
we were talking about disc buddha discovered that
when buddha was a
before buddha was booted nobody knew about this teaching put it discovered intimacy didn't make it but it it creates intimacy put it did not create protection
protecting buildings is already present were trying to discover it when you discovered than you can participate with it
protecting to you
but may wanting you to be protected
that pretty much data necessarily get into me protecting you i want i want intimacy to be realized and i want you and all beings to be be protected but i'm not the one is gonna do it i'm not the protector
i'm a devotee of protection
i'm devoted to it
yes
and i i hope everybody else would join the praise and homage to the protection of our pigs which is similar pretty much not dissimilar it's the same as paying homage to buddha because that's what buddha is buddha is the proteas
section of our beings buddha doesn't protect you but it is the way are protected
buddha is to way your with each other worried that that's that's what it is
but but it doesn't own the protection
but it doesn't do it but it is it
but it is the protection of all bags
so let's discover it shall we let's discover great compassion i don't do great compassion it's in the room right now it'll be in the room when we'd walk out let's come back and discover tomorrow morning
when we discovered tonight but anyway it's is discoverable it can you discover it by compassionately as compassionate as you can by observing what's going on by being as he has as as the as possible
day with what's happening
anything else to tonight any other comments linda
you use space
herself
but but i'd say boot it doesn't good and doesn't try to fix herself
helping me understand
by anyway not trying to teach yourself
practice
you fixed a teapot and knows
really i was worried
transit my myself
ah
i'm not telling you should not try to fix yourself i'm not telling you you should not try to fix yourself i'm not telling you that i'm just saying buddha doesn't try to fix you and but it doesn't try to fix herself i'm saying want to talk about buddha does but but it doesn't
it would be trying to fix you a buddha told you to stop trying to fix yourself they'll be another trying to fix you did for that yeah
if if someone like for example buddha where to say to you stop trying to fix yourself that would be trying to fix you but but it doesn't say that bulletins is usually doesn't say stop trying to fix yourself

buddhist saying you don't have to be any different than you are to be buddha does a buddha statue
but but but uke the person you could be with somebody that's trying to fix yourself
you don't if you're trying to fix yourself you do not have to be a different person from that person to be buddha and a buddha were you trying to fix yourself put it would be just like you
but usually bridge does not say you fix yourself
but he says let's embrace yourself completely
and if you by any chance are professional fixer then do that wholeheartedly
but then you are fixing yourself you're just doing you're just doing your job completely
and the and
i did ask and teapot if they wanted to be fixed in it said please
but if people tell me their problems and i say you want me to fix your and they they say no do not fix me i do not want you to do that i want you to listen to me do not do not try to fix me i know you think you can but do not do that i want you to respect
me the way i am
because i used to be different by the way
people used to tell me their problems enough guess what i knew how to fix them
and i told them what to do and i was and it was brilliant but they did not want it and they taught me that were so patient with me they didn't kill me i'm still here even though i'd told people have some really good ways to fix themselves
and fortunately i don't know the good fortune was
that they didn't abandon me have to kind of insulted them by trying to fix them they hung in there with me until i gave up trying to fix them and help them become who they were
and i'm i'm yet high and feel like i'm following a buddhist wasn't footsteps and says licorice his footsteps i think they were teaching us how to be ourselves completely not how to fix ourselves
and when zucker she died i don't i'm just guessing that when he was in america anyway
especially towards the end he wasn't fixing any of the students
maybe when he was young he tried to fix people over in japan maybe he did and i think pepe he learned that was a mistake and gave it up and so we got this really mature guy who was like not into fixing us but was into loving us and appreciating us the way we were and seeing that we didn't know how
and he showed us how to do it but he didn't fix us maybe use a little tempted on and to do it buddy
he is so gently if you did you know
and he gave me instructions sometimes
but i didn't feel like it was fixing me i felt like he was giving me what i came but i asked them for like one time i was having tea at tassajara who you know afternoon tea and it came up to me and said i want to show you how to walk when you're carrying the stick in the zendo so i showed me the walking way you know
i didn't feel like he fixed me i thought he he was just he was just relating to me and i came for him to relate to me so i just kind of relate to me show me this law this other way of walking like like this you know has high it but i didn't feel like you're saying you're walking wrong he just
submit can i i i know you want me to teach you something could i have gonna teach you something
and then you know the story of fly towards the end of his life i find to portland with him and the airplane and we've got in the place them and teach you how to card japanese i don't give was fixing me he was just that something you can give me he just wanted to give me gifts so i'm not
i wasn't really trying to fix the teapot
i was try i was giving it a gift of my attention
and i slipped into trying to fix it
so but i'm not telling myself i shouldn't do that
and up
i think if i had really not tried to fix it i wouldn't have got the worldly pleasure that i barely happiness i got a it got something else and it might have also it might avoid also got fixed who knows but i think in a way i did kind of miss being jet really generous with the t
teapot before i took it apart
so yeah
first of all let things be the way it is then take it apart
so buddhists like completely with system admit they have some comment
like
oh
it's interesting how you have your robes on yes
protecting
that sounds like
what is it
from from suffering
good basic
yeah you can do you can protect them from wall j sickness and death you can you know
intimacy
if you're if you're intimate with old age sickness and death is called nirvana
without getting rid of old age sickness under so protecting beings is to teach them intimacy
but really who teach them by being intimate with them and then they'll they'll learn that from from the from your efforts
you'll learn that they're teaching you how to be intimate with their efforts that it's not you doing
yeah
some people are live like forty dharmas living in the realm of suffering the weeds or or a ways are a poetic version of old age sickness and death
so
fallen into old age sickness and death while gazing as bodhidharma falling into bed by falling into old age sickness and death intentionally to practice with people
and
being protected in old age sickness and death were not not getting rid of it but being protected
by the joy of being with it intimately
and put is not i protect people that the intimacy is the protection and the lack of intimacy is
ah is suffering lack of intimacy suffering
and and lack of intimacy with youth
health and life
is suffering
and and lack of intimacy with old age sickness and death is suffering
intimacy with those things is protection and and liberation that's the proposal

oh good
i said something interesting she said
can you believe that
i always say
yeah
yeah right yeah right rather than protection from the waves its protection in the weeds so we we fall into the weeds and practice protection which is again this strange chinese zen thing we
fall inches into suffering and then practice upright sitting but it's another word from intimacy
while gazing as a zen term for intimacy with what with the weeds of suffering
and it's by is because of a vow that we'd go there we don't go looking for we're not just looking for trouble with more vowing to enter into the process of protection and liberation so
we go these places we feel invited to come with be called
so you know this event here is
weeds
and i came here to be in the weeds i went out on my way to be in the weeds
of course there's weeds were have my house
so why do i have to go down here to of ways i know
but that's what i came here to be in the weeds with you and you came here to be in the ways was or everybody
because you want to protect biggs that's your that's really who you are you you want beings who are in suffering to be reaper captain
and liberated
but you don't want to get rid of these people that are suffering do you mean you might sometimes but mostly you don't want to eliminate them you wanna go and help them
and you're happy to do so

and if you had a choice of whether you're not you might take try and take a break but you know you're being asked you may invited

and it's anything else tonight

yes so
i've been intimate
when our lives are occupied with fast to leave he launched a series concepts
that's because are asked to not mean it are
we get your a kind of your your kind of close but not being intimate is ignoring intimacy
so when these things you mentioned are happening
not ignoring intimacy when those things are happening
it is the egg is the lack of intimacy but those things themselves we can we can learn to we can learn to be intimate with those things that you mentioned yes but i'm saying
we have accumulated so much is because we have
you could say that yeah that the reason for all these things that were having trouble being intimate with is because for a long time we have been ignoring intimacy and the results of a long time of ignoring intimacy is lots of affliction
okay so we've got the all of these challenges are coming because we have not been
because we have been ignoring turning away from intimacy so now it's time to turn on the other way towards it towards the things which came from not doing it so ignorance comes from ignoring
so now we just we can start facing our ignorance
facing our ignorance because we we were good at it
and along with ignorance comes hatred and fear and attachment and madalena
is it much later and marlena
my laner

have that opportunity to practice
you practice of said
i come to the team as i was disappointed on seem like ours
right
you know
and if you put that happen so for comment so i it has been a great help to understand that i can not them from a of from this because now are all right well from that eventually
in my bag is nice he smiles
so he has been very peaceful and i just how i have growing silent practice because i equate to being team us and helping them to get all into get offerings
it is what it is
and trying to swallow it look that growth and myself in tennessee again
so your tummy
so my question to you will be in dental practice i think they have bro
isn't to talks
there's still a few a bit
a competition
how to is i don't think so now i cannot fix just became a big stay at camel face i know how do my work with people that are suffering because of rationalization and social injustice how that worst thing any team must see which way see
this is i see it how do i work at tms exposure in injustice well what do i get that are because i have been dealing with that all of this year and even dice know working compassion for some of my
colleagues that has shown me so why that gt insulted by passing what is going on
and i just not a got of you and you know it was hard for me know take two people that tell you that at one job to go see what is happening jerusalem's all these people article that african-americans stop by dutch civil society justice having it's like to have a team my schools
that's a they say the last part again that last little bit you have been be more compassionate even i have my wife and they have a lifetime needed to help me funny and happy so that i have been be more compassionate with the people that the crisis against or
stairways the i'm always you receive a special sorry
but i'm really having a hard time raid thinking to myself the great color passion and i know i can not fix it i cannot get that way either because i cannot fix social issues by my stuff and came of weeks going on the social images so how do i drink at
the in high street with beat because views this really don't think that i just getting an issue for me my friends because i needed the world and it's been wonderful but i can practice a cold and it's wonderful to i can perform hey have to went to the well again so why don't have been
working with all these changes by oil who who
hum do you want something from me
surf games i guess work out so usually sometimes works with what what do you want i'm asking you what what you want from me right now
games cement okay here's a hint go the hint is
try to remember what you told me about how you're working with your parents
and then try to remember how and how you felt when you talk told me about that when you're reporting that and then look back and see how did you feel when you were telling me about the the things about so social injustice and racism how did you feel at that time and what was
the difference between those two times
have you ever upset
yeah
right just a second but before that when you're talking about your parents which is a really difficult painful situation you seem to be it would be intimate with it and you weren't upset
when you start talking them the other things he got upset and i think it and also i feel like you are having trouble with the intimate with you're upset
and and again the the upset comes because of lack of intimacy with the racists and the injustice
but before you even look at that i feel like you haven't you revert are quite with yourself and then you kind of lost yourself
and and because your last year so if you're gonna upset
i feel like the buddha wants to work and wants to engage with this terrible
ah called caste system we have the united states which you know put some people and this dominant class and some people in the subservient class and all the cruelty that comes from that with race kind of covering it up buddha wants to work embrace that and worked with them
that and weight and protect people under the present secretary circumstances so that they can help other people wake up to what's going on
but we have to be able to be intimate with how disgusted and how bitterly terrible we feel about the situation
that's part of we need to do in order to protect beings in this terrible situation
and
you run another terrible situation where you are managed to be i think pretty intimate and you quite helpful
and then in this situation you are having more trouble being intimate and also being intimate once and once you start to get upset it's hot if you were having told being intimate with the upset but fortunately you could observe it so when i asked you you noticed it when that comes up than in sometimes that you should immediately go
i shouldn't say you should you being immediately called to address that upset at that time that's what you're being asked to address and if you can address that and be intimate with that you will then be able to serve that terrible situation better
and show other people who are also getting upset how they can be intimate with they're upset and serve their situation
so i heard this story in you know this wonderful terrible book called cast and this woman's this african american woman is going to have i'm going to make this story shorter is she does it very beautifully but
too long for me to do she can do it long and it's in the book she goes to lunch with a friend a white friend of hers they go into a restaurant and basically they don't get waited on
and her white friend is in order in the food but the the waiters not paying any attention to them and basically they do not get waited on and finally they get their food and it's cold and they can't eat it and her wife her white friend gets really upset and it's not intimate with her situation
and just you know
never been treated like that before in our life but because she's with an african american now she knows what that's like what happens and she for exact but her friend didn't freak out because your friend has learned that that doesn't help it just scares the white people they don't learn anything from that
matter effective you know it probably reinforces their inner of the whole system is really freak fight it
and she told the nurse to right after that about having a plumber come to her house
and the plumber comes to your house and she's got she had water and in the basement and so anyway to make a long story short she's got a problem in the basement to have the hump the plumber comes down and basically the plumber doesn't help her
and she asked him various questions and he just basically so i don't know
and then finally he's willing to you know
right out an order for some stuff to do which will cost a certain amount of money but basically he's not he's not really saying that just going to do anything
very unsatisfactory situation where she's not be respected she's not been related to as a as a human being it's terrible and she did not freak out she just kept trying to get him to help her because that was his job she tried to help him well how bad could it be this could it be that i
no i don't know
she did not freak out
she stayed intimate with this terrible pain and insult of this plumber who was not wanting to help her
then she said so i thought i just do you know what a hail mary is
you know a hail mary full of grace
anyway it's it's a it's also a football term in a fruit you know american football they throw this ball so sometimes but they do is they just take the ball they just throw it into the sky hoping that you know the mother of compassion wills will save their game
called a hail mary right that were to hail mary is so she said i just thought i'd take it i do a hail mary to his humanity to his you know him his human is to intimacy she actually i was changed i would i would say did a hail mary to intimacy and she said you know my mother
or just done
and know said is your mother alive and he said oh no and he started to talk to her
is your father lot yeah we'll have the in on
and they talked and talked and she reached him
she reached him
and this
white male
who didn't respect her and didn't want to help her because she didn't have to he changed and he started to look around and he found her what the problem was
the problem was the hot water heater so he needed new hot water heater
before then he wasn't and she didn't know as the hot water heater she didn't she was trying all these things that he was not he was not say was not that and anyway he was not being helpful and then he she reached him she reached him she was but she was able to be intimate with this
terrible situation of being with that person for quite a long time who was really not respecting her who was looking down on her as a black person
but she didn't freak out and she just kept
being compassionate and kind of dealing with the pain of it and then she saw her chance and she threw it she's through the arrows of compassion and she got him
and then and that working together
so
we can find these ways to reach people but sometimes we have to be go through a lot of paid to discover to find the thing sometimes it happens faster sometimes the buddha could immediately see what was the problem and point to it but sometimes we have to put up with a lot of
in order to
why i'm now here's the chance to reach the person and wake them up to our intimacy and then he gave her a bill for sixty nine dollars which was for him to diagnose the problem is she thought that was a reasonable price for for what he did
and then she had a course get to have a water heater and turn to turn that water off he did all that so she was safe until she got to hot water heater because otherwise it could blow up because it was it was defective for he did he did help her an end
but she had a region
and she had freaked out she wouldn't have reached them he just what it said ah another one of them
another one of them
but she had to take care of herself and she's learned how to do that
and she's taught her children on i do that
so they can reach people but it's really hard and white people are used to its day freak out because they never seen it before they hadn't like a never been to
we have to learn you have to get in there and find a way to be generous and careful and gentle and patient and diligent and com and then we can see the intimacy and when we see the intimacy

that's really hard though but thank you for your question
thank you for noticing the different way you were in the different situations because when you need to see that and then and then you can be intimate with you don't do not be that way as okay the way you are just need to be there
and be an intimate with that as you are with these are clueless white people

anything else tonight
sometimes the first night people have come a long ways and our little tired so sometimes they want to go to bed or a that situation now in when are you tired and i'm going to get some rest
what yes it of the kurtz are perfectly lined up
you're not here not brothers are you
but but you look kind of like both got glasses and similar haircut
yes kurt number two
suffering
yeah
it feeling that
then
what we experienced the suffering that separates point
are not for example i had this meeting here if i'm intimate with the pain of it the pain does not go away
however if i'm intimate with it everybody's happy if i'm not interpret the pain here you won't be happy because i won't take care of this
and also be a
i'll be complaining about it or whatever you know like the pain in my knee in know the horrendous thing that they did to my name with a tremendous skill but they really are ripping me apart you know and they put these things that on the end of my femur on and the end of my tibia they put these things in are squished him in there and i
er i wasn't in i could hear the book pam pam pam pam
i get him while they're pounding their counting that thing on there
they were like is amazing what they did and my my leg really hurt afterwards
and if i was buddha and able to be intimate with it there were still wet or hurt because the bones are going
this is we broken or fixed you know it
so that the intimacy does not reduce pain ex
but it protects the beings who are experiencing the pain
in pain and i'm protected
i'm in pain and all sentient beings are supporting me
i'm in pain and my mother loves me
and my father and all beings loved me but i am in pain but i'm also
liberated and real liberation is not to get rid of the pain it's liberation while still there
if it goes away fine but i'm not going to wait till it goes away i want to be liberated right with it
so i can show other people how they can be liberated with their pain right now not after it goes away liberation is not the elimination of suffering it's intimacy with it and intimacy is not a feeling
it's it's the reality of our relationship was suffering and also it's intimacy of the reality of our relation with pectus with with pleasure
if we're not intimate with pleasure we suffer
if we're not intimate with pain we suffer
if we're not intimate with pleasure
we're not protected
we can be hurt but pleasure can hurt his if we ignore intimacy with it
that's a good bumper sticker right
and lack of ignoring intimacy with pleasure is
the addiction industry
people are ignoring
the intimacy with their pleasure therefore they get addicted to it but if you're intimate with pleasure you can let it go and if your intimate with pain you can let it go not get rid of it so intimacy is not a feeling although you may have a feeling of intimacy the feeling is optional
you can be intimate with people and not feel the least bit intimate with them
but you are and you can realize it and know it's true even though i didn't think anybody see it going to be like this
i is going to be like that
well it's not like this and it's not like that it's the intimacy of this and that
but basically a similar thing is intimacy with suffering does not increase or decrease to suffering suffering is one point six seven three suffering that's what it is intimacy with it is to is letting it be just like that and not been this least bit
separate from it which were not
but we need to train to rick to discover this because we have habits of looking away from it
and we need to be kind to our habits of looking away
so of practice
with suffer
yeah and and as we get better at patients
the sense of the suffering being separate from anything gradually narrows down
until there is just in the suffering there's just a suffering
so
when her patients suffering
suffering right now my leg my legs and his pain
it
my right knee was heard
i could be patient with that
charla realize interests who who already said in his chair who wasn't sure sure
the patient
randy
i would suggest that if you felt that you were more intimate with the pain when you're sitting down there than you are in the chair i would sit on the on down there
but sometimes if you sit in the chair you still in pain but you can be more intimate with it
so if he had two different postures and you felt like for now this past year i can feel i can discover intimacy that when i'm i can't i might start with the one where i did get a feeling for intimacy not try the other posture
let intimacy be the guide rather than the level of pain
friend of mine had
our open heart aortic surgery and afterwards he didn't want to take painkillers because he was hit and students to need painkillers
but he wasn't into he couldn't be intimate with himself because there's there's so much pain so he was like no pain killers but kind of like trying to be in and others not exactly another universe but anyway someplace else from his body which which is his body was breathing right
breathing
if you breathe deeply was painful painful that he didn't want to do it he didn't want to breathe deeply so we breathe shallowly he wasn't taking painkillers but he was shying away from breathing deeply because it hurt
and breathing shallow is not a good thing to do after huge tab open heart surgery
follow me
soon somebody said i'm you know if you took still the pain medication you can probably breeds breathe more deeply and then you could clear the fluids and your lungs
so he took some pain medication because he wasn't really facing his his pen anyway
but he took enough pain for so he could like feel his breathing and clear his lungs
so here if you if you feel no pain
if feel no pain and and you feel too much pain which and you can be intimate with i shouldn't say too much if you feel no pain and then sitting on the floor you feel pain but you can't be with it i would say will find a posture week where you feel you can be with the pan
so again patients is
when you're first are practicing patience your maybe a little bit in the past and a little bit in the future or a lot in the past and a lot in the future you're not in the present pain so you train to learn how to be with this pain now what the ones you used to have how how this has been going on
for five minutes and not for how long how much longer it's going to train yourself into being with it
not not really getting rid of it but being with it
and you notice that your knock with it that you're thinking about how long has been going on or how long it's going to be or various things you could do to fix it rather than be with it so in terms of variation sit experiment again i've been trying to emphasize a scientific approach
two compassion
observe the pain when you're sitting there observed to pay when you're up there and then to experiments
sit down and see how the painters does it suddenly go from zero to fifty or just ago zero one to study it observe it experiment with it
and you will discover the intimacy with it
if it goes from zero to one hundred that's very interesting to tell me about durban but it probably doesn't probably goes one two three four five six turn to get worrisome for i'm freaking out to study it observe it try to be with it
if you can be with it and relax with it you're on the road to intimacy with it but if you'll notice that you're starting to exit you get more tense and so on so forth it doesn't look good time may be time to take a break
you see what i mean and one way to take a break as a sit in a chair
but then remember it didn't even go right down there and you know right now you go sit there for little ones see how it feels and observe it my dry
am i just don't see how is it
it's a nice off he got there

now okay there he is he's sitting and are you feeling
you feeling okay here so you might just sit there and go how you feeling hey kurt i'm feeling okay hey kurt are you feeling okay hey kurt i'm feeling starting to feel uncomfortable okay i you can you relax with that yeah good how you feeling i'm filling the instant more
an uncomfortable can you relax is it okay now
i feel no one from now i'm starting to tense up mom you know maybe maybe it's enough for now baby carefully on cross your legs this of the chair and try again in this way you will be able to relax with more and more challenging situations this
one way you can do that and if you can relax with it then they can start playing with it and if you can play with that you'd be created and then you can be intimate with it it's already there you discover but that gives you a feel for how to work with this okay and you can do it tomorrow morning you can it maybe you're gonna do it for two minutes still it's a good experiment
and you learn something about
patients he learned something about relaxation and you'll learn something about observing and you'll learn something about experimenting
and that way you can find a way to sit
more and more and isn't so much that you learn to sit with more and more pain
but he learned to relax more and more with pen and pay more and more present with it
which might allow you to also tolerate more pan
and be relaxed with it and present with it because
some big page may be coming
so it's good if we know how to
pick in observe them
compassionately be generous with him be careful with the be gentle with them be patient with them and also observed them and experiment with them we can learn about these pains and we can understand these pains and we can protect ourselves
anyone we protect ourselves we protect the people have not madonna
the after they told us right so please take care yourself for their sake and please take care of yourself for our sec
okay
i've been doing quite a bit of what but i just talked about for the last fifty five years
spending a lot of time working with pan when i'm sitting and i and i don't push myself too hard so i haven't given up some my friends push himself too hard and then they gave up can citizens too hard but that's because they weren't kind to themselves and they've pushed
i'm so so hard they thought zen was too hard but renewed they think they weren't by being gentle and and respectful of their pain
so i don't want you to push yourself too hard just
please be gentle with yourselves when you're sitting and also when you're walking
so again a pattern will be tomorrow will sit
so walk was set will walk and they will have another discussion and then we'll walk to the dining room and eat breakfast
and then we'll walk back and sit and then we'll walk and have discussion okay that's the pattern throughout the day for your to be intimate with
what's going on
anything else tonight
the enough
thank can very much for coming
to this event
may our intention equally extend to every bang and place with the true merit i put as way beings are numberless i vowed to save them afflictions are inexhaustible of our to cut through ago
gates are boundless i bow to enter them put away is unsurpassable i vowed to become at