Teachings for the Welfare of the World

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In this summer series, teachings will be offered for those who aspire to embrace and sustain the great earth and all living beings in order to realize peace and freedom in our troubled world.
Each evening will include quiet sitting and walking meditation followed by teachings and group conversation.

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teachings for the welfare of the world
ej we can my moving that way about three inches
thank you
there just right

i i imagine that
many of you
would like to live in a way that
promotes welfare in this world
so right
so what teaches word
promote that wish
the buddhist teachings are intended for that purpose
which doesn't know news to you right
the news to anybody buddha's teachings
our for the welfare of the world

okay everything okay are you think

the last series of
dharma meetings we had here
the sort of the topic was called a good activity
buddha activity somebody you remember that
i saw again buddha activity is
act is to kind of activity that is an appropriate response
to though to living beings appropriate to the
welfare of living beings
so the bullet activity is described as
appropriate responding to beings
appropriate to welfare

nice begin this series by suggesting
that the appropriate responding

of the borders the appropriate responding for the welfare of the world
is living
and stillness and silence
and the stillness
science the silent stillness is and unconstructive stillness and silence
on fabricated
silent stillness

that's the situation in which the appropriate responses living
and sometimes i am i feel the kind of the impulse to say that the appropriate response emerges from this unconstructive stillness
but it doesn't relieve emerge it's it's in its indian constructed stillness and everybody else is in there so it doesn't have to go out at the stillness
in order to interact with beings all the beings are in the unconstructive stillness

and the appropriate responding is already going on
among living beings already
now there's another thing i thought i'd bring up now is constructed stillness
constructed stillness could be like you go to the yoga room and you sit down
and you sit still
and you sit still quietly
you imagine and you think you're sitting still and silent that's constructed stillness
not many people are not involved in constructed stillness they're involved in 'em
constructed in topics are talking and constructed not stillness already you know activity moving around
but for those who who might want to try to practice the way up the buddha's then there's a teaching which is what the buddhas are sitting and living in a unconstructive stillness together with everybody
in and in particular they sit together with
with their students who are often practicing constructed stillness
but they're also sitting together with the people were practicing constructed
you know i don't know what
bank robbers bank robberies all kinds of
constructed on wholesome stuff is also living with the borders in stillness however because of their activities they are not interested in constructed stillness and they may not they may not be interested in constructive stillness on
unless that would facilitate their on wholesome behavior than they would
but they had not necessarily heard or opened up to the teachings of the buddha's which are living in unconstructive stillness so the and constructed and the constructed
our together are living together and they
they turn on each other they include each other
so in unconstructive stillness all the constructed stones is are present
and in the construct a stillness like
often night i went to the yoga room and i was fairly successful it's still sitting still for about half an hour and i was pretty quiet to i didn't talk and my mind was kinda quiet to
you know and i don't know how it got quiet but it started not quiet and and god quiet or i think i do know how it got quiet i think i quieted it various stories
done to make a stillness here this evening
or perhaps there can be a story i came i said but i wasn't able to sit still i tried to construct stillness but i didn't do very well and i tried to be quiet but actually my mind was really noisy

whatever the story
the unconstructive stillness is
fully present in it
no addict the it's present in it but it's not conflict confined by it
the unconstructive stillness doesn't have really any size
however it permeates all the sizes
it's not confined by any sizes
but there's no size it does not reach know size reach is it even though it includes all the sizes

i just said this thought came into consciousness which was why didn't want you to say that buddhist teaching is be nice
well it is
it is be nice
why aren't just say the buddha's teaching is be compassionate or okay buddhist teaching is to be compassion
i've said that before to your right and then i also say it in ways which aren't so up
easy to understand like if i tell you boot it taught us to be compassionate for what purpose
for the welfare of the world of wooded encourages people to be compassionate for the welfare of the world okay yes right and then
also a bullet said to be compassionate to the for the welfare of the world
took everybody and then then people start to go or whoa wait a minute
so forget that teaching for the time being
good it did teach us can be compassionate for the welfare of the world yes but also there's a teaching
upon constructed stillness to help us understand
the fullness of compassion

there is constructed compassion
and there's unconstructive compassion
and they are included in each other

i'm constructed compassion transcends is free of
constructed compassion and it's also free of constructed cruelty it on constructed compassion transcends the world transcends human history is complete liberation
and on constructed compassion unconstructive stillness is verified
by constructed

accounting are basically goes on
in the in the realm of construction
construction projects there's contests accounting going on
the and constructed in stillness the and constructed stillness
response to the universe in a universe transcending
and that awakening is proved is verified by being called into account
by what by the constructed
by the realm of construction

okay so that's a big difficult introduction or not
and that was actually a
a in reduction or not and knowledge time to be called into account
did he that the universe
did you say that the universe turns into
do the universe i said some why my i don't think i said that bud
the universe doves turn into awakening when you transcend the universe the universe turns into awakening
so the universe isn't awakening it's like
a pit of suffering
and then what has transcended the universe is transformed into awakening and that's proved
that amazing statement is verified by calling the the awakening into account
which you can do now and he sort of did by asking that question even though i didn't say it that were spine you can call me into account for things i didn't say to
it calls her call yourself into account for things you didn't say but also for things you did say
again basic principle is the universe has a history
and that history involves a lot of suffering
and we like to know
i don't know what bring welfare to this
historical process of the universe
all kinds of welfare maybe possibly
but even even if we say all kinds of welfare
that could be called into account too
the universe has problems and we are
part of the problem but excuse the expression we are also the solution
the way we take care of the problems
can help the universe transcend itself and and the universe can help us transcend ourselves by the way we the way we transcend his but is the way we take care of the universe the way we transcend our problems is by the way we take care of them and the way to take care of them of
course is compassion and the appropriate compassion the appropriate compassion the one that actually most helps his living in stillness
but again it's not it's not that it's anyway we gotta we gotta have that part of gotta have this stillness place for the appropriate compassion it doesn't get rid of the constructed stillness
and not at all
matter of fact the compassion this living and unconstructive stillness a proper or respond appropriately to constructed compassion and can and again constructed cruelty
of course cruelty is constructed
has some compassion is constructed but some isn't the one the one that's appropriate to the welfare of the world is living and unconstructive films
yes have you seen how does reading stones

related to to actions
world through to
leading sire
you at
was saying this is a strong as piece physicals
yeah a road
let's say just sit and be still feel
so being still sounds like constructed stillness and doing acting for the welfare of the world there can be constructed acting for the welfare of the world
what is good you i'm an offer that's good but sometimes it's not some people are doing what they think is good and other people think it's really harmful and then they have a can maybe they have a war over that
so i saw what i'm saying as if you wish to live objects for short first if you wish to live for the welfare of the world this unconstructive stillness can help your attempt to help the world be appropriate to what you want namely welfare
without without record reese recourse to the resource of unconstructive stillness our attempts to act in the world for the welfare of beatings it is a somewhat off
off the mark
i'm not know about always but i would say often
i once again constructed means my karmic consciousness constructs an idea of what's helpful and then i try it that's part of what's going on here however
by recourse to unconstructive stones i am my karmic activity is guided by that stillness
and it is guiding it to be appropriate to what i consciously
in this case i want welfare but if i only act for the welfare based on my own ideas of welfare
i'm missing
a necessary
resource which doesn't just mean i trying to help people according to my idea
but i'm helping people from
buddha activity
which is guiding my activity and one of the ways that guides my activity is it guys my activity
again connecting to the last class it guys my activity into being open
to being called into question
to be caught boot activity unconstructive stillness guys my constructed activity my karmic activity it guys it into being open ended lee
unlimited lee
open to big called into question if i try to help myself or others if i try to work for the welfare of the world and closed the door and being questioned that is not appropriate to welfare that is appropriate to do
discord in and there's quite a few varieties of discord but they all involve more or less not being open to my action being called into question
maybe i'll stop right there you just get that that's what i'm saying anyway
i'm saying if you if i want to be beneficial to you are you are you or me that's great i think that to we're here for this the name of the clouds you signed up for
we're on the same page and were all the same page and the way we're all the same page is unconstructive this and stillness
and the way we're all of the same page guides the way we're not in the same page and the way we're not in the same page as each of us has a different idea had given moment
of what would be for the welfare of the world and we're not trying to eliminate the different views of what's helpful in this
in this
buddha's teaching is not trying to limit and i'm not trying to stop us from having our own view of what's helpful in practices compassion towards our views which helps us open to the guidance
and the guidance helps us be open to have our idea of what's helpful be called into question and that doesn't mean you throw your idea of the window
i put it under the rug or deny that you have it or beat yourself up for having an of you know it again it the guidance help she'd be compassionate to your ideas of what's helpful and also other people's ideas of what helpful
who you don't agree with
but the guidance helps them consider the possibility that the that they're wrong that the misled and does the same with you the guidance how few meet somebody who you really disagree with and be opened to of course you're already open to that they're wrong
which is fine it's good it's good to be open to that they're wrong
that's good the guides helps you be open to the people you disagree with are wrong but it also the guidance of unconstructive stillness where the appropriate responses the appropriate response helps us be open to the people would disagree was being right
and the compassion that comes with that guidance helps us like open to that scary possibility
that the people we disagree with might be right and then again turn around we might be right to that's a passport if it's okay to be open to the you might be right
i'm open to that i might be right but which is fine but the guidance is also opening to me that i'm wrong that i'm off and i'm totally
and guidance is kind of like why not why not open to that
a matter of fact what please do open to it and that will help the appropriate response to the situation the appropriate action to come not just my idea of action
which is appropriate but not just other people's idea but the actual what's actually beneficial be aren't transcending everybody's ideas
and opened it open to everybody who has ideas questions
so there is action but where's it coming from is coming from my ideas if so that needs guidance
my ideas aren't limited and without guidance my ideas might be
you know forced down the throat of certain dear people and cause trouble
but with guidance my ideas can don't have to be eliminated but they get guided into
yes piece i'm seen that before
things the last class may remember scones or first every month so is this guy's
dependent on remembering where is this guidance happening not conscious
the guidance is not dependent on us remembering know however if we don't remember the possibility of guidance if we don't remember the stillness which again is unconstructive illness rather than the stillness i caught concoct if we don't remember
for it it's like we're out to lunch when they deliver lunch
so it's like we miss out so this guidance is there for us but if we don't practice remembering it somehow miraculously we miss it because again if i don't remember it than i might also not remember
what it would help me do which is like be open to you disagreeing with me
remembering the guidance i also then i remember the guidance
and yeah so the funny thing is we're already we're already living in this place and were living with everybody and we're living with the buddhas and the buddhas are not living someplace other than where we are buddhas or not some other place
with us being ourselves in relationship to all beings as were buddhists are and that's what we are that's already the case but if we don't practice a court you know in accord with that teaching we won't realize it it'll be almost like

so that's a funny thing again a strange thing about the human situation according to this teaching is that we are the way we are were never any other way and that unconstructive stillness but if we don't practice it
we don't realize it
dash there's not in the buddhist tradition there's very little how are you it there's very few stories of people who didn't practice who realized reality even though of course realities already the case
it's a funny thing about us where human beings but if we don't practice being human beings somehow we miss it
and then and in a lot of people will say yeah to anybody miss their life particularly towards the end than anybody here miss your life and i moved it
it was just too hard to be here so i just sorta like gone through the day
i got by
i got by rather than be here moment by moment
this unconstructive as systems stones will guide us to do the hard work of being here
so in guides us because it says he had to be here to realize this and also were hit this guidance is here to help you be here
this class is for the sake of helping us be here
who are our dear we need help to be here we i cannot it's too hard to be here all by myself and the reason it's hard to beat her but myself is because i'm not here by myself
so if i'd try to be here but myself i'll just miss it i'll miss being here but if i open to being here with everybody's help which is not constructed from my point of view it's unconstructive your help is not his unconstructive for me
then i'm open to buddhists guidance
he looked like you understood what i said
ah yeah it also represents another question
it's bringing up other questions is again the guidance
the guidance the guidance brings up question the guidance questions us and if we accept the guides which questions us and accept the being questioned
more more questions come up it's not like again that's another thing which the constructed around thinks is that if you just ask a question get an answer
will be done
have you know
no right it's not the case there's no end to this process are there is no end to the call for welfare
and again trying to get the get this welfare thing done that attitude of like list is complete the welfare project that's the constructed point of view
and that's the point of view of not of
well it could be constructed activity for that purpose and it's because it can be constructed stillness for the purpose of completing the job of the welfare of the world or could also be constructed movement for that sake to to complete the job but completing the job is not stillness
the stillness is not trying to get the job complete is not trying to go there and finish it
the stillness is open to the job being undone or done but the attempt to finish it is abandoning the stillness the unconstructive stillness
seeking anything
distracts us from the stillness in the stillness there's no seeking
and if there isn't seeking it's seeking which the stillness allows it's not the stillness isn't seeking anything but all the sea kings are in the stillness being allowed to be still
i i'd like to try to see what i'm understanding by you're saying constructed and unconstructive the i'm so worse it saying here in a kind of constructed stillness that we set up and sometimes why we're in the constructed place
we have a little flitting
so opening of constrictions
sometimes when we're not even in a constructed stillness when we're just anywhere
i just wonder if
my my experience recently is that
wow what when the sort of heart center of self clinging
stops for a second or minute that's when constructed as immediately there
is that much mean well i just what do you just said i think this this
this story has as has been said before and it it is the case
that i think he said like almost like letting go of the self concern a little bit there's an opening on a little bit just some okay okay let let him go over a lot go
and and the the letting go of it a lot is often something that have that wasn't constructed
makes that i'm constructing
the and constructors already present
exude allowed to experience it
it okay it already is your experience however if when when you let go of the constructed
you open to the unconstructive but letting the date of the most thorough letting go of the constructed is not another construction
so people actually many people whose minis buddha stories about people trying really hard to let go of their constructed and constructing there are seeking activity and and they've tried really hard and then they just of like give up
and they like in the letting go happens and they didn't eat it and bought the giving up the
the the flop of they're giving up is not something they did
they just turned like accidentally gave up and opened to the unconstructive wishes already there
tardy there
it has not already there it's constructed
and because it's not constructed
it's already there even though things are changing
so yeah like the story which often pops up in my mind is them
a story from a book which was popular when i first came to zen center a novel by carlos castaneda
and in the first novel when carlos meets his his showman teacher the first obstruction i think as find your place and so he tries to find his place
for you know several hours through the night
and then in the morning the teacher don juan says did you find your place and he said no and the and the teacher says or or did you go to sleep and he said over there behind that rock and don't want to touch that was your place at your place is where
he's finally just gave up trying to find his place
wherever you are and and you were when you give up trying to get something is your place and you're always there but because you trying to get something you're running away from your place and running away from your place than you're trying to do
good from running away from your place the good you can do comes from being in her place the whole universe is supporting you being there and what comes from that place is like that's the appropriate thing for you to do because that's the only thing you can do that's your job
if to be in your place and do what you do there and that will help everybody because everybody's suffering because they have to some extent not allowed not found their place because they're looking some place else for it
whatever he just sort like
you accidentally give up trying to get anything and then you find your place then you open to what's already there
you can't be site and accidentally give it up right
you can but then you can kicked out of the universe
it's like again that story you know
zen and art of archery the archer teacher says poll the bowstring and just hold the string until it's released so when it's released you won't release it it will be like the string goes through your fingers so he does that for a while and know
it gets boring
so then he figured out a way to let go
a constructive way like go and
and then the string was released and and it's almost like it went through his fingers by his construction constructed release
and as soon as them as a string went the teacher said get out of this dojo
get outta here
do please let me take out and he was he wasn't a lot back for years
but i think in buddhism you do get to come back after you cheat
after you try to construct
you get kicked out but then you get to come back and try again to what to eliminate trying to construct enlighten me know to be compassionate to try to construct enlightenment yes
to let yourself do it
until it somehow it's given up
but here it you know
here immediately being allowed to give up you don't have to learn try really hard for one
you can give up right now but again the giving up is not another construction project
however you can do another construction guy that's why
i'm trying to stop you from doing construction projects i'm to say all the construction projects are calling for compassion when they get enough compassion
they'll drop away and you're open to the
does the guidance had you'll get when you give up your construction projects here your what it costs your welfare and the world construction projects isn't that you should stop them if should be compassionate to him to whatever welfare of the world project you're doing
that's that's a perfectly good opportunity to let go
whatever you're doing to help the world that's the one you can use for the time being to like our but letting go doesn't mean you don't have it it just means you're not clinging to it it just means you're not using it to get some
and then you get this guidance
which will help this this thing you're trying to do realize itself

yes so therefore
the accounting ledger is compassion practice with the
sagan accounting ledger
is compassionate and practice with your capital letter your practice practice the ledger
let it go
yeah and and part of the way you practice compassion with the accounting ledger of your compassion is you question your accounting and your question the project that that's being accountant and also mainly other people it's outside auditors
that are necessary
so you're you're trying to do this compassion thing you realise that accounting for it is part of the deal but also you can cut you get called from an environment to account for the this wonderful project you're doing it's
a wonderful project
that is surprise professional quarterback yeah well recognizing yeah so yeah so part of the part of the confession might be to you notice that
if you're up to something which isn't appropriate to this compassion project and you confess and repent i'm sorry i was seeking something other than being here with what i with my project i was trying to get something out of it i confess that
and the other part is you put word out that you're welcome other people to question you if days if it looks like you're trying to get something out of the compassion
compassion is not trying to get anything
it's giving
we can slip into trying to get something but then it could not a part of compassion is ethics and ethics means
i've stated my precepts and my precepts are not trying to get or not given i'm not trying to steal anything and if anybody sees me stealing i wanted to tell you please questioned me about what if you if you say against if i'm sure if i think i'm stealing question
and also if when your question the you feel like i don't welcome here questioning
you asked me if i am in are resisting you question me about the way i'm except your questions
this and then if i if i can see or yeah you're right i was doing a defensive than i can i confess that
that i was trying to get something and i confess that i didn't want you to come be my accountant i confess
and now i'd like to try again would you please count me again and the person might say okay
and they might say that was good you're getting the hang of it
you know
nika say thank you and then they say can i ask you to know the question and you say i'm so on
listening to talk about
kind of get something
i found myself reminded of you
what feels to me like helping us to solve that play it out
is everything so practice being the giver and receiver and a gift all at once so was
it melts away from me worry about whether we join me in compassion is kind of ohio
yeah maybe melt slowly trying to get some
whoo hoo

are you going

and then another part of compassion
it is being enthusiastic about it
and being enthusiastic about being questioned being enthusiastic about ethical discipline
but again and not being physiologic about people questioning about whether you're in denial about something with your numbing yourself with you're trying to kill some bad people whether you're trying to get something whether you're putting yourself above the people you
disagree with
whether you're kind of like
saying that saying things about people that disagree with that make other people care for them less
and so on hear you that's part of compassion to and then been patient with
this one more thing before i forget
and then his teachings for the welfare of the world and again if you're working for the welfare of the world do you think you're gonna get something
a lot of people think if they weren't for the welfare of the world don't get something going so
either way
do you want the well for the world or do you want to get the welfare of the world
the welfare the there it is
do you wanna you want to practice law where you want to get love
so definitely for myself to i want to do like and i want to get famous for pm a welfare worker
it's not be appropriate the more strict thing now a more thorough thing as
you want the well for the world yes
do you wanna get it
that doesn't go with the welfare of the world
that defiles the welfare of the world and you would get it
cause it's not something to get things you'd get our that the things we get our the problem of the world
problems the world come from getting things
that's a nice from
for what party shows a from that was nice for oil

anyway i
you don't have to constructed i'll do it for you
anyway i just said this thing which is working for the welfare of the world is facilitated by working for it without trying to get it
and facilitates it if you are if i not new of course if i am working for the well for the world and i'm trying to get it than if i don't get it i might give up and i'd give up but tell other people how stupid it is to work for him
but if i worked for the well for the world without trying to get it
i'll beaten that will facilitate my enthusiasm for it just like you know i often mention i do these ceremonies were give people these precepts of compassion and then i asked him to practice them
from now on indefinitely and they say yes and if i think i got something or they got if i think i've got something there then that makes it harder for me to support them on this practice
but if i if i give them to them without trying to get anything and then they totally do not follow the precepts
i don't give him but if i try to get something like
really good precept practitioners like got the prisoners give tune and then try to get from the practices which would be good right the them practicing is good but to try to get them practicing it that is not bad it just interferes with what i want none and
other for presented for oil
this is like
trying to do good with the right attitude
which is a very pure attitude and as purified of me doing it by myself
and if i do things by myself it's conceivable that that i'd get something but if i'm doing it together with everybody there's no gain or loss
if i'm trying to avoid loss in the compassion business or gain something like compassion by the compassion business are just like defilements the of the process and again it's not like the end of the story those are just something which someone might say
up to begin say
commands your question they see me i'm i'm working away cool i love my compassion week
i think name is is he trying to get something by his lovely compassion
mimi i'm not sure because i might be just imagine in these trying to get something from this good work
i'll go ask him
and then they come and ask me as a thank you i think you i was i'm sorry thank you so much i was like really trying to get something out of my great work
i think i told you the story to it about this
one of the great those a this very important tibet and teacher and sankalpa and he had three main disciples and one of his fame disciples i think was called
drum or something and he was in a monastery and there was a senior teacher in a monastery and i was doing all this compassionate stuff and the drum went up to him and said it's so moving to see what you do for the monks here
you're so kind
it would be nice if you did something spiritual
if you did something spiritual
but he really weren't doing good stuff
and this happens over and over and finally the monks at what do you mean do something spirits and doctrines stop trying to get something out of your out of life stop trying to get something out of compassion he was doing all this compassionate work and it really was good and he kept a filing it
by trying to get something out of his good works so good works are good and one of the main things are bottom is that day
when it caught the word is they are vulnerable to being questioned you know if you're doing evil people people don't use the question you about it meant especially if it's really serious they don't think all of that person's being cruel they probably want me to ask him a question
but if somebody's been good
people if they weren't a she's doing good so chic if i had a question about her good she probably would like me to ask her and oftentimes that's the case
people who are really intending to be crawled to somebody do not know necessarily want people to come and ask them what they're doing slim me alone let me do this cruelty
but if you're trying to help people make sense that some because declaration a question about the way you're trying to help people okay
oh never mind going not written really asked me are you trying to get something oh yeah you got me again thank you so much
anyways ends full of stories of people doing good and their teacher or their friends say are you trying to get something out of this
that's sometimes one of that sometimes called the stink of zen
which most than students slip into every now and then
unless they make no effort and then
you know then they're free of that so that's one reason why a lot of people don't want to do is good because if you just something good you might slip into trying to get something for it
by people would do the right thing are in danger of being self righteous
so let's i'm not to do anything or do anything right because i want to i'd i'd rather be wrong and be called to caught for being self-righteous
no do the right thing and also let people know i'm going to do the right thing not ready everybody i'm going to do it one two three here we go and by the way if you think i'm trying to get something questioned me but i am gonna do the right thing now otherwise well i think is right and i'm even what you told me was right okay
ready to do the right thing yes
now you won't try to get something out of this will you know
you know like that story i'd tell you over and over when i got ordained member
zika she said i'm sure you won't
the arrogant about this
except i didn't say no i won't
but we do that
yes yes this yes because papers
i haven't said anything about what play i haven't i
am i didn't did i demonstrated did i demonstrated yes i just not talking about what i'm doing
but now i am now you've outed me i've been playful all night
and playfulness goes really well with self righteousness it helps us like all of it
i was so self righteous
it was amazing how to approach us
i was so as so self righteous but i'm not going to be like self righteous and beat myself up there will be an prices again i was so self righteous someone i one or a while
crucify myself that's a that's again you did it again but i was so i was so self-righteous and the know it was really going to garden variety celebrate just because no big deal
there was like it wasn't even below average is just completely ordinary self-righteousness and i'm sorry
this deserve major punishment
that's another that's another self righteous he's people are like i'm really bad as self righteousness rather than yeah i'm dad
uncle profile we say my bad it's think my bag doesn't that's about just about right my brand new we move on try again that's kind of playful you know when people say my bad is kind of for right it's can that's that's an example of i think the bodies of a wig in my bad thing
it's pretty good i'm trying to do a good my bad
okay that's true
that was your man and that was my bad now we're now we're working together we're both slipping all the time helping each other question and each other and this way
benefiting the world will be successful but not finished so successful in the moment and then if it's successful it's ready to not be done
so i'll get it warned this thing about big done later
about you know about how we're not gonna be done
and is a and tonight

i don't know if that's the case i did say this as a courtesy one time
when i was sitting and during one of his talks and it went on for a long time and he was standing
for the talk and i was sitting cross legged
and now and it was not forty five minutes i think
and i'm just sitting there and i said to him his the zen masters suffering the same or different from the students and he said the same
so in that case is is that i could have i didn't dare dare i i wasn't yet ready to ask the question is a zen masters delusion the same or different from the student's side and asking that what mr
and he might have said same we don't know unfortunately we can't get him for an encore
but he might if i said
after i said it's something the same effect is to delusion that saving and and i said yes
i do sort of feel like
what i knew about him if i had asked him i think he probably would have said yes
he wasn't trying to hide very often anyway
his delusion and the few times he did try to hide it he showed it
did you follow that
he wasn't he was not too much into hiding his delusion but a few times he did and when it did he showed it
a few times to you know you
i mean he permitted many times but i saw a few
when you put you'd probably want to know right
how to show it
ah yeah i do
so one time i was moving rocks with them at tassajara and his dear wife came up and gave them some orders
give him some instruction kind of emphatically
you might say strongly
sort of the guy like i say for my granddaughter was quite strong i call her my major so at any given moment his wife was temporarily least his leader here's the zen master's wife is leader
and and here for you heard her and they turned to me and said
something about ah
putting a leash on her
putting a leash on her i should i should leash her up as a leash her mouth he didn't say that

and another one
we we went to portland and he had a gallbladder attack and he was a lot of pain and then when it came back from portman on the airplane when he got off the airplane his wife and
and one of his students was there with a wheelchair for him when it came off the airplane in those days you can bring a wheelchair go according to the door right so there they were waiting for us we got the plane and he said i don't need a wheelchair i'm a zen master
when i when he
i went room
well he said he said they said you want to work chair and he said i'm a zen master
i don't know if he said i don't need it but either he said i don't need it or he said i'm a zen master parentheses that we don't need wheelchairs we just we can suffer through anything some my dad and i just gonna
hike i pretty much whatever he said i went home
that one is kind of like well why do you have to mention it
i didn't say that to myself but little bit like maybe that little extra little extra there
you could you say no ah but he he told he says churches table these people in amazon where we know that right
these of physics you know he he wasn't hiding them from me it amazing or get him out of his to most temperate but he he showed it he is like can you love me and trust me and serve me even if i'm just an ordinary person can you treat me like great zen master even if i show you
my humanness in the answer for me was yeah
again i also told you before knit one of the early talks he gave that i'm one of the early talks i her
he said
i'm not enlightened
and i was not happy to hear that
it wasn't like yours
it was no like that it was kinda like oh
coming home
and then there was
it wasn't like i don't care it wasn't that it was who and it was he's he's still the best i've ever seen
i still am very happy to be studying with them even if he's not enlightened if he's not enlightened okay fine i still feel like he can be my teacher
for what i want to learn and like the next lecture he said i am buddha and then i would year
but of course the zen masters not stuck in not being enlightened or big buddha that's buddha and he he was pretty good that way it's a pretty good and even if he wasn't pretty good he was still really good for me just right for me
ah i even though i was just a kid i can already smell self-righteousness pretty well and any that i could smell self righteousness perky well if i met any zen teachers who are kind of like intimating that they resent masters who are intimate
adding that they were enlightened i've pretty much that who the poor boy or poor girl was those boys
most of the sent back to those day for boys at some of them actually kind of like
what do you think is here
where do you think this rogue means with you know do you have any idea who you're talking to some of more like and i kind go home
wow this is a girl she was not like that
and i thought that's the way to be
and one time i i one of them came to visit and center and he was like
who was he was he a great buddha
and you just you know he was just strutting around
this is a girl she's response was to to be of service to him
rather than look at me and said you see this guy
he didn't have to say that to me i can already see as a young student i can see this it seems that looks doesn't seem like it's appropriate to the welfare of the world it seems like this is just a questionable and but and he doesn't look like east into being questioned
i would you know and i did not think hey i think i will ask him a question
didn't even occur to me that he would like me to compensate can i have you a question
do you think cure a great body software or something what when you try and terrorists
i know i wish i could have i probably would have suzuka garage you probably would have told me you shouldn't talk that way but he could have said that he could have said what are you doing but he didn't he just like humbled himself
and that look really good to me i couldn't do it
i couldn't as a young student i wouldn't even ordained yet this is before i was ordained and i didn't get arrogant
i couldn't take on this guy's here for me to be kind to and be compassionate i just sort of like look down on me
a new problem some of you my to maybe up and i looked down on him i broke the precept i thought i'd never got arrogant
but zucker as she did not look or maybe he did but he didn't act like it was looking down a didn't exactly look like he was looking up either he just served him and and attended him and helped him
such a good example
is that was he i don't know but as then master and do you
do you know you know it as and masters oh well i don't either so that two of us
what asked if you are next well maybe next week asked me
come next week
it's gonna be interesting
trace he's going to ask
sorry i missed that one
a very guarded go or maybe i'll turns the recorder off