Teachings for the Welfare of the World, E.J., would you mind moving that way about 3 inches? Thank you, that was just right. I imagine that many of you would like to live in a way that promotes welfare in this world, is that right? So what teachings would promote that wish? The Buddhist teachings are intended for that purpose, which that's no news to you, right?

[01:09]

Is that news to anybody? Many Buddhist teachings are for the welfare of the world. Okay, everything okay there, you think? Now, the last series of dharma meetings we had here,

[02:19]

sort of the topic was called Buddha activity, Buddha activity, some of you remember that? So again, Buddha activity is the kind of activity that is an appropriate response to living beings, appropriate to the welfare of living beings. So the Buddha activity is described as appropriate responding to beings, appropriate to welfare. Now, I begin this series by suggesting that the appropriate responding

[03:33]

of the Buddhas, the appropriate responding for the welfare of the world is living in stillness and silence. And the stillness, the silent stillness is an unconstructed stillness and silence, is unfabricated, silent stillness. That's the situation in which the appropriate response is living, and sometimes I feel the impulse to say that the appropriate response emerges from this unconstructed stillness.

[04:48]

But it doesn't really emerge, it's in the unconstructed stillness, and everybody else is in there, so it doesn't have to go out of the stillness in order to interact with beings. All the beings are in the unconstructed stillness already. And the appropriate responding is already going on, among living beings already. Now, another thing I thought I'd bring up now is constructed stillness. Constructed stillness could be like you go to the yoga room, and you sit down, and you

[05:54]

sit still, and you sit still quietly. You imagine and you think you're sitting still and silent. That's constructed stillness. Now, many people are not involved in constructed stillness, they're involved in constructed talking, and constructed not stillness, or you know, activity, moving around. But for those who might want to try to practice the way of the Buddhas, then there's a teaching which says, well, the Buddhas are sitting and living in an unconstructed stillness together with everybody, and in particular, they sit together with their students, who are often

[07:02]

practicing constructed stillness. But they're also sitting together with the people who are practicing constructed, you know, bank robbers, bank robberies, all kinds of constructed unwholesome stuff, is also living with the Buddhas in stillness. However, because of their activities, they are not interested in constructed stillness, and they may not be interested in constructed stillness unless it would facilitate their unwholesome behavior, then they would. But they have not necessarily heard or opened up to the teachings of the Buddhas, which are living in unconstructed stillness. So the unconstructed and the constructed are together, are living together, and they turn

[08:13]

on each other, they include each other. So in the unconstructed stillness, all the constructed stillnesses are present. And in the constructed stillness, like, well, tonight I went to the yoga room and I was fairly successful at sitting still for about half an hour, and I was pretty quiet, too. I didn't talk, and my mind was kind of quiet, too. And, you know, I don't know how it got quiet, but it started not quiet and then it got quiet, or I think I do know how it got quiet, I think I quieted it. Various stories about something that was done to make a stillness here this evening. Or, perhaps there could be a story, I came, I sat, but I wasn't able to sit still. I tried to construct stillness, but I didn't do very well.

[09:15]

And I tried to be quiet, but actually my mind was really noisy. Whatever the story, the unconstructed stillness is fully present in it. It's present in it, but it's not confined by it. The unconstructed stillness doesn't have really any size, however, it permeates all sizes. It's not confined by any sizes, but there's no size it does not reach. No size reach is it, even though it includes all the sizes. I just had this thought came into consciousness, which was,

[10:27]

why don't you just say that Buddha's teaching is be nice? Well, it is. It is. Be nice. Why don't you say that Buddha's teaching is be compassionate? Well, okay, Buddha's teaching is to be compassionate. I've said that before to you, right? And then I also say it in ways which aren't so easy to understand. Like if I tell you Buddha taught us to be compassionate, for what purpose? For the welfare of the world. Buddha encourages people to be compassionate for the welfare of the world. Okay? Yes, right. And then also the Buddha said to be compassionate for the welfare of the world. And to everybody, and then people start to go, wait a minute.

[11:32]

So forget that teaching for the time being. Buddha did teach us to be compassionate for the welfare of the world. Yes, but also there's a teaching of unconstructed stillness to help us understand the fullness of compassion. There's constructed compassion and there's unconstructed compassion. And they are included in each other. Unconstructed compassion transcends, is free of constructed compassion. And it's also free of constructed cruelty.

[12:35]

Unconstructed compassion transcends the world, transcends human history, is complete liberation. And unconstructed compassion, unconstructed stillness is verified by constructed accounting. Accounting. Accounting basically goes on in the realm of construction. Construction projects, there's accounting going on. The unconstructed stillness, the unconstructed stillness

[13:41]

responds to the universe in a universe transcending awakening. And that awakening is proved, is verified by being called into account. By what? By the constructed. By the realm of construction. Construction. Okay, so that's a big difficult introduction, or not. And that was actually a transcendent introduction, or not. And now it's time to be called into account. Pardon? I said, I don't think I said that, but the universe does turn into awakening.

[14:57]

When you transcend the universe, the universe turns into awakening. So the universe isn't awakening, it's like a pit of suffering, and then when it's transcended, the universe is transformed into awakening. And that's proved, that amazing statement is verified by calling the awakening into account, which you can do now. And you sort of did by asking that question. Even though I didn't say it, that was fine. You can call me into account for things I didn't say, too. You can also call yourself into account for things you didn't say, but also for things you did say. Again, basic principle is, the universe has a history, and that history involves a lot of suffering,

[16:00]

and we'd like to now, I don't know what, bring welfare to this historical process of the universe. All kinds of welfare, maybe, possibly. But even if we say all kinds of welfare, that could be called into account, too. The universe has problems, and we are part of the problem. But, excuse the expression, we are also the solution. The way we take care of the problems can help the universe transcend itself. And the universe can help us transcend ourselves. The way we transcend is the way we take care of the universe. The way we transcend our problems is by the way we take care of them.

[17:02]

And the way to take care of them, of course, is compassion. And the appropriate compassion, the appropriate compassion, the one that actually most helps, is living in stillness. But again, it's not that it's... Anyway, we've got to have this stillness place for the appropriate compassion, which doesn't get rid of the constructed stillness. Not at all. Matter of fact, the compassion that's living in unconstructed stillness responds appropriately to constructed compassion. And again, constructed cruelty. Of course, cruelty is constructed. And some compassion is constructed, but some isn't. The one that's appropriate to the welfare of the world

[18:08]

is living in unconstructed stillness. Yes? I was just saying, how does living in stillness, unconstructed, unconstructed, relate to taking actions in the world, in the real world, to alleviate the suffering in order to act for the welfare of the world? You know what I'm saying? Just be still, just be still, physically still. I mean, that may be a road to realizing, but you know what I'm saying? Just sit and be still and feel compassion. So being still sounds like constructed stillness. And acting for the welfare of the world, there can be constructed acting for the welfare of the world,

[19:11]

which is good, usually. I mean, often it's good, but sometimes it's not. Some people are doing what they think is good, and other people think it's really harmful. And then maybe they have a war over that. So what I'm saying is, if you wish to live, I'll just, for short, if you wish to live for the welfare of the world, this unconstructed stillness can help your attempts to help the world be appropriate to what you want, namely welfare. Without recourse to the resource of unconstructed stillness, our attempts to act in the world for the welfare of beings, it is somewhat off the mark.

[20:13]

I don't know about always, but I would say often. Once again, constructed means my karmic consciousness constructs an idea of what's helpful, and then I try it. That's part of what's going on here. However, by recourse to unconstructed stillness, my karmic activity is guided by that stillness. And it is guiding it to be appropriate to what I consciously want. In this case, I want welfare. But if I only act for the welfare based on my own ideas of welfare, I'm missing a necessary resource, which doesn't just mean I'm trying to help people according to my idea,

[21:16]

but I'm helping people from Buddha activity, which is guiding my activity. And one of the ways it guides my activity is it guides my activity, again connecting to the last class, it guides my activity into being open to being called into question. Buddha activity, unconstructed stillness, guides my constructed activity, my karmic activity, it guides it into being open-endedly, unlimitedly open to being called into question. If I try to help myself or others, if I try to work for the welfare of the world

[22:19]

and close the door on being questioned, that is not appropriate to welfare. That is appropriate to discord. And there's quite a few varieties of discord, but they all involve more or less not being open to my action being called into question. Now, maybe I'll stop right there. Did you get that? That's what I'm saying anyway. I'm saying if I want to be beneficial to you or you or you or me, that's great. I think that's what we're here for. That's the name of the class you signed up for. We're all on the same page. And we're all on the same page. And the way we're all on the same page is unconstructedness and stillness. And the way we're all on the same page

[23:24]

guides the way we're not on the same page. And the way we're not on the same page is each of us has a different idea at a given moment of what would be for the welfare of the world. And we're not trying to eliminate the different views of what's helpful in this Buddha's teaching. It's not trying to limit, not trying to stop us from having our own view of what's helpful. It practices compassion towards our views, which helps us open to the guidance. And the guidance helps us be open to have our idea of what's helpful be called into question. And that doesn't mean you throw your idea out the window or put it under the rug or deny that you have it

[24:26]

or beat yourself up for having a view. No. Again, the guidance helps you be compassionate to your ideas of what's helpful and also other people's ideas of what's helpful who you don't agree with. But the guidance helps them consider the possibility that they're wrong, that they're misled. And it does the same with you. The guidance helps you meet somebody who you really disagree with and be open to... Of course, you're already open to that they're wrong. Which is fine. It's good to be open to that they're wrong. That's good. The guidance helps you be open to the people you disagree with are wrong. But it also, the guidance of unconstructive stillness where the appropriate response is, the appropriate response

[25:27]

helps us be open to the people we disagree with being right. And the compassion that comes with that guidance helps us like open to that scary possibility that the people we disagree with might be right. And then, again, turn it around. We might be right too. That's a possibility. It's okay to be open to that you might be right. I'm open to that I might be right. Which is fine. But the guidance is also opening to me that I'm wrong, that I'm off, that I'm totally deluded. And the guidance is kind of like, why not? Why not open to that? And matter of fact, please do open to it and that will help the appropriate response

[26:28]

to the situation, the appropriate action to come. Not just my idea of action, which is appropriate, but not just other people's idea, but the actual, what's actually beneficial beyond transcending everybody's ideas. And open to everybody who has ideas, questions. So there is action, but where is it coming from? Is it coming from my ideas? If so, that needs guidance. My ideas are limited and without guidance, my ideas might be forced on the throat of certain dear people and cause trouble. But with guidance, my ideas don't have to be eliminated,

[27:31]

but they get guided into, yes, peace. So you said before, I think it was the last class, may we remember stillness, or first, yeah, may we remember stillness. Is this guidance dependent on remembering? Or is this guidance happening not in our conscious mind, regardless? The guidance is not dependent on us remembering, no. However, if we don't remember the possibility of guidance, if we don't remember this stillness, which again is unconstructed stillness rather than the stillness which I concoct, if we don't remember it, it's like we're out to lunch when they deliver lunch. So it's like we miss out. So this guidance is there for us, but if we don't practice remembering it, somehow, miraculously,

[28:34]

we miss it. Because again, if I don't remember it, then I might also not remember what it would help me do, which is like be open to you disagreeing with me. Remembering the guidance, I also, yeah, then I remember the guidance. And yeah, so, the funny thing is, we're already living in this place and we're living with everybody and we're living with the Buddhas and the Buddhas are not living someplace other than where we are. Buddhas are not some other place. They are with us being ourselves in relationship to all beings. That's where Buddhas are and that's where we are. That's already the case, but if we don't practice in accord with that teaching, we won't realize it. It'll be almost like...

[29:36]

So, that's a funny thing. Again, a strange thing about the human situation according to this teaching is that we are the way we are. We're never any other way and that's unconstructed stillness. But if we don't practice it, we don't realize it. There's no... In the Buddhist tradition, there's very little... How would I call it? There's very few stories of people who didn't practice who realized reality, even though, of course, reality is already the case. It's a funny thing about us. We're human beings, but if we don't practice being human beings, somehow we miss it. And a lot of people will say, yeah, did anybody miss their life? Particularly towards the end. Did anybody here miss your life? Yeah, I missed it. It was just too hard to be here,

[30:43]

so I just sort of like got through the day. I got by. I got by. Rather than be here moment by moment, this unconstructed stillness will guide us to do the hard work of being here. So it guides us because it says you have to be here to realize this and also this guidance is here to help you be here. This class is for the sake of helping us be here. We're already here. We need help to be here. I cannot, it's too hard to be here all by myself. And the reason it's hard to be here by myself is because I'm not here by myself. So if I try to be here by myself, I'll just miss it. I'll miss being here. But if I open to being here with everybody's help,

[31:44]

which is not constructed from my point of view, it's unconstructed. Your help is unconstructed for me. Then I'm open to Buddha's guidance. You look like you understood what I said. Bringing up other questions is again the guidance. The guidance brings up questions. The guidance questions us and if we accept the guidance which questions us and accept the being questioned, more questions come up. It's not like... Again, that's another thing which the constructed realm thinks is that if you just ask a question and get an answer, we'll be done. You know? No, right.

[32:46]

It's not the case. There's no end to this process. There's no end to the call for welfare. And again, trying to get this welfare thing done, that attitude of like let's just complete the welfare project, that's the constructed point of view. And that's the point of view of... Well, it could be constructed activity for that purpose. No, excuse me. It could be constructed stillness for the purpose of completing the job of the welfare of the world or it could also be constructed movement for that sake too, to complete the job. But completing the job is not stillness. The stillness is not trying to get the job complete. It's not trying to go there and finish it. The stillness is open to the job

[33:47]

being undone or done, but the attempt to finish it is abandoning the stillness, the unconstructed stillness. Seeking anything distracts us from the stillness. In the stillness, there's no seeking. And if there is any seeking, it's seeking which the stillness allows. It's not... The stillness isn't seeking anything, but all the seekings are in the stillness being allowed to be still. Yes? I would like to try to say what I'm understanding by your saying constructed and unconstructed. Yeah. So we're sitting here in a kind of constructed stillness that we set up and sometimes when we're in the constructed place, we have a little flitting,

[34:47]

sort of opening of constrictions, sometimes when we're not even in a constructed stillness, when we're just anywhere. And I just wonder if... My experience recently is that when the sort of hard center of self-clinging stops for a second or a minute, that's when the unconstructed is immediately there. Is that what you mean? Well, what you just said, I think, this... this story has been said before and it is the case that... I think you said like, almost like letting go of the self-concern a little bit, there's an opening? Not a little bit,

[35:49]

just sometimes. Okay, okay, letting go of it a lot? Yeah. Yeah. And the letting go of it a lot is often something that wasn't constructed. It makes that unconstructed present. The unconstructed is already present. Makes you allowed to experience it? It... Okay, it already is your experience. However, if... when you let go of the constructed, you open to the unconstructed, but letting the... the most thorough letting go of the constructed is not another construction. So people actually, many people, there's many Buddhist stories about people trying really hard to let go of their constructed and constructing their seeking activity

[36:49]

and... and they've tried really hard and then they just sort of like give up and the letting go happens and they didn't... but with the giving up, the flop of their giving up is not something they did. They just sort of like accidentally gave up and opened to the unconstructed which is already there. It's already there. If it's not already there, it's constructed. And because it's not constructed, it's already there even though things are changing. So, yeah, like... this story which often pops up in my mind is a story from a book which was popular when I first came to Zen Center, a novel by Carlos Castaneda and in the first novel

[37:53]

when Carlos meets his shaman teacher, the first instruction, I think, is find your place and so he tries to find his place for, you know, several hours through the night and then in the morning the teacher, Don Juan, says did you find your place? and he said no and the teacher says well, where did you go to sleep? and he said over there behind that rock and Don Juan said that was your place. That's your place. It's where he finally just gave up trying to find his place. Wherever you are when you give up trying to get something is your place and you're always there but because you're trying to get something you're running away from your place and running away from your place then you're trying to do good

[38:54]

from running away from your place. The good you can do comes from being in your place. The whole universe is supporting you being there and what comes from that place is like that's the appropriate thing for you to do because that's the only thing you can do. That's your job. It's to be in your place and do what you do there and that will help everybody because everybody's suffering because they have, to some extent, not allowed not found their place because they're looking someplace else for it. But sometimes, for whatever you just sort of like you accidentally give up trying to get anything and then you find your place. Then you're open to what's already there. You can't decide to accidentally give it up. Right. You can but then you get kicked out of the universe. It's like, again, that story, you know

[39:57]

Zen and the art of archery. The archery teacher says pull the bow string and just hold the string until it's released. So when it's released, you won't release it. It will be like the string goes through your fingers. So he does that for a while and, you know, it gets boring. So then he figured out a way to let go. A constructed way to let go. And then the string was released and it was almost like it went through his fingers by his construction, constructed release. And as soon as the string went the teacher said, get out of this dojo. Get out of here. No, please let me stay out. And he was he wasn't allowed back for years. But I think in Buddhism you do get to come back after you cheat. You know, after you try to construct

[41:01]

enlightenment. You get kicked out. But then you get to come back and try again to what? To eliminate trying to construct enlightenment? No. To be compassionate to trying to construct enlightenment? Yes. To let yourself do it until somehow it's given up. So. Yeah. But here, you know, you're immediately being allowed to give up. You don't have to try really hard for a long time. You can give up right now. But again, the giving up is not another construction project. However, you can do another construction project. That's fine. I'm not trying to stop you from doing construction projects. I'm just saying

[42:04]

all the construction projects are calling for compassion. When they get enough compassion they'll drop away. And you're open to the guidance that you get when you give up your construction projects. Your, what do you call it? Your welfare of the world construction projects. It isn't that you should stop them. You should be compassionate to them. So whatever welfare of the world project you're doing that's a perfectly good opportunity to let go. Whatever you're doing to help the world that's the one you can use for the time being to let go of. But letting go doesn't mean you don't have it. It just means you're not clinging to it. It just means you're not using it to get something. And then you get this guidance which will help this thing you're trying to do realize itself. Yes?

[43:14]

So, this metaphor of the accounting ledger is compassion practiced with the accounting ledger? Say again? The accounting ledger is compassion practiced with the accounting ledger. You're practicing with the ledger until you're ready to go? Yeah, and part of the way you practice compassion with the accounting ledger of your compassion is you question your accounting and you question the project that's being accounted and also mainly other people. It's outside auditors that are necessary. So, yeah, you're trying to do this compassion thing. You realize that accounting for it is part of the deal but also you get called from the environment

[44:15]

to account for this wonderful project you're doing. It's a wonderful project. Yeah, so part of the confession might be that you notice that you're up to something which isn't appropriate to this compassion project and you confess and repent. I'm sorry, I was seeking something other than being here with my project. I was trying to get something out of it. I confess that. And the other part is you put word out that you welcome other people to question you if it looks like you're trying to get something out of the compassion. Compassion is not trying to get anything. It's giving. But we can slip into trying to get something.

[45:19]

But then another part of compassion is ethics. And ethics means I've stated my precepts and my precepts are not trying to get what's not given. I'm not trying to steal anything. And if anybody sees me stealing, I want to tell you, please question me about... If you think I'm... If I think I'm stealing, question me. And also, if when you question me you feel like I don't welcome your questioning, you know, ask me if I am resisting you. Question me about the way I accept your questions. And then if I can see, oh yeah, you're right, I was being defensive, then I confess that I was trying to get something and I confess that I didn't want you to account... be my accountant. I confess. And now I'd like to try again. Would you please account me again?

[46:22]

And the person might say, okay. And they might say, that was good. You're getting the hang of it, you know? And you can say thank you. And then they say, can I ask you another question? And you say, yeah, and so on. Yes? In listening to you talk about not trying to get something from compassion, I found myself reminded of you... What feels to me like helping us kind of dissolve that whole problem away if it's a problem. Because everything is... Practice being the giver and the receiver and the gift all at once. So it melts away from being worried about whether we enjoy being compassionate. It's kind of all fine. It maybe melts away from trying to get something from being compassionate.

[47:23]

Uh-huh. Yeah. How are you doing? And then another part of compassion is being enthusiastic about it. And being enthusiastic about being questioned. Being enthusiastic about ethical discipline. But again, you know, being enthusiastic about people questioning about whether you're in denial about something, whether you're numbing yourself, whether you're trying to kill some bad people, whether you're trying to get something, whether you're putting yourself above the people you disagree with,

[48:23]

whether you're kind of like saying things about people that you disagree with, that make other people care for them less, and so on. That's part of compassion too. And then being patient with this. And one more thing before I forget. The name is Teachings for the Welfare of the World. And again, if you're working for the welfare of the world, do you think you're going to get something? A lot of people think if they work for the welfare of the world, they'll get something. Either way. Do you want the welfare of the world or do you want to get the welfare of the world? The welfare of the... Yeah, there it is. Do you want to practice love or do you want to get love? So, definitely for myself,

[49:26]

do I want to get famous for being a welfare worker? I think we're pretty aware that might not be appropriate. The more strict thing, though, the more thorough thing is, do you want the welfare of the world? Yes. Do you want to get it? That doesn't go with the welfare of the world. That defiles the welfare of the world that you would get it. Because it's not something to get. Things you get are... The things we get are the problem of the world. The problems of the world come from getting things. That's a nice frown. It's a furrow. A furrow. What, pardon? She said it was a furrow, not a frown. That was a nice furrow. Anyway, I...

[50:30]

I can't construct the question. You don't have to construct it. I'll do it for you. Anyway, I just said this thing which is, working for the welfare of the world is facilitated by working for it without trying to get it. That facilitates it. If you are... If I... Not you, of course. If I am working for the welfare of the world and I'm trying to get it, then if I don't get it, I might give up. And now I give up, but tell other people how stupid it is to work for it. But if I work for the welfare of the world without trying to get it, I'll be... That will facilitate my enthusiasm for it. Just like, you know, I often mention, I do these ceremonies where I give people these precepts of compassion and then I ask them if they'll practice them from now on indefinitely and they say yes.

[51:31]

And if I think I got something or they got... If I think I got something there, then that makes it harder for me to support them on this practice. But if I give to them without trying to get anything and then they totally do not follow the precepts, I don't give up. But if I try to get something, like really good precept practitioners got the precepts, give it to them and then try to get them to practice it, which would be good, right? Them practicing is good, but to try to get them practicing it, that is not bad, it just interferes with what I want. Another furrow. Is that a furrow? That's a question. This is like trying to do good with the right attitude,

[52:34]

which is a very pure attitude and it's purified of me doing it by myself. And if I do things by myself, it's conceivable that I'd get something. But if I'm doing it together with everybody, there's no gain or loss. So if I'm trying to avoid loss in the compassion business or gain something, like compassion by the compassion business, those are just like defilements of the process. And again, it's not like the end of the story. Those are just something which someone might say, come up to me and say, can I ask you a question? They see me, I'm working away. Oh, I love my compassion work. And somebody said, I think, maybe, is he trying to get something by his lovely compassion? Maybe, I'm not sure, because I might be just imagining

[53:37]

he's trying to get something from his good work. Maybe I'll go ask him. And then they come and ask me, I say, oh, thank you. I think I was, I'm sorry. Thank you so much. I was like really trying to get something out of my great work. I think I told you this story too. It's about this, one of the great, there's this very important Tibetan teacher named Tsongkhapa. And he had three main disciples. And one of his famed disciples, I think, was called Drom or something. And he was in a monastery, and there was a senior teacher in the monastery, and who was doing all this compassionate stuff. And Drom went up to him and said, it's so moving to see what you do for the monks here. You're so kind. It would be nice if you did something spiritual. If you did something spiritual.

[54:40]

But he really was doing good stuff. And this happens over and over. And finally the monk said, what do you mean do something spiritual? He said, stop trying to get something out of life. Stop trying to get something out of compassion. He was doing all this compassionate work, and it really was good. And he kept defiling it by trying to get something out of his good works. So good works are good, and one of the main things about them is that they, what do you call it, the word is, they are vulnerable to being questioned. If you're doing evil, people don't usually question you about it, especially if it's really serious. They don't think, oh, that person's being cruel. They probably want me to ask them a question. But if somebody's being good, people might say, well, she's doing good, so if I had a question about her good, she probably would like me to ask her. And oftentimes that's the case.

[55:44]

People who are really intending to be cruel to somebody do not necessarily want people to come and ask them what they're doing. Just leave me alone. Let me do this cruelty. But if you're trying to help people, it makes sense that somebody could say, could I ask you a question about the way you're trying to help people? Okay. Oh, never mind. No, no, really, ask me. Are you trying to get something? Oh, yeah, you got me again. Thank you so much. Anyway, Zen's full of stories of people doing good, and their teacher or their friends say, are you trying to get something out of this? That sometimes is called the stink of Zen, which most Zen students

[56:46]

slip into every now and then, unless they make no effort, and then they're free of that. So that's one reason why a lot of people don't want to do anything good, because if you do something good, you might slip into trying to get something for it. Like people who do the right thing are in danger of being self-righteous. So they say, I'm not going to do anything right, because I'd rather be wrong than be caught for being self-righteous. No, do the right thing, and also let people know, I'm going to do the right thing now. Ready, everybody? I'm going to do it. One, two, three, here we go. And by the way, if you think I'm trying to get something, question me. But I am going to do the right thing now. In other words, what I think is right. And even what you told me was right. Okay, ready to do the right thing? Yes. You won't try to get something

[57:49]

out of this, will you? No. No. You know, like that story I tell you over and over, when I got ordained, remember? This is a girl, she said, I'm sure you won't be arrogant about this. Except I didn't say, No, I won't. But we do that. Yes? [...] You haven't said anything about playfulness. I haven't said anything about what? Playfulness. I haven't? No. Did I demonstrate it? Did I demonstrate it? Yes. I'm just not talking about what I'm doing. But now I am. Now you've outed me. I've been playful all night. And playfulness

[58:49]

goes really well with self-righteousness. It helps us let go of it. I was so self-righteous. It was amazing how self-righteous I was. I was so self-righteous, but I'm not going to be like self-righteous and beat myself up. That would be self-righteous again. I was so self-righteous, I'm going to, I don't know what, crucify myself. That's again. You did it again. But I was so self-righteous, and it was really kind of garden variety self-righteousness. No big deal. I mean, it was like, it wasn't even below average. It was just completely ordinary self-righteousness. And I'm sorry. Rather than this self-righteousness deserves major punishment. That's another self-righteous. These people are like, I'm really bad. That's self-righteousness. Rather than, yeah, I'm bad.

[59:52]

Or we say, my bad. That's a nice thing. My bad. That's just about right. My bad. And then we move on. Try again. That's kind of playful. You know, when people say, my bad, it's kind of playful, right? That's an example of, I think the bodhisattva way in the my bad thing. It's pretty good. I'm trying to do good. My bad. Okay. That's true. That was your bad. And that was my bad. Now we're working together. We're both slipping all the time, helping each other, questioning each other. And this way of benefiting the world will be successful, but not finished. So it's successful in the moment, and then if it's successful, it's ready to not be done. So I'll get more into this thing about being done later. About, you know,

[60:54]

about how we're not going to be done. Anything else tonight? Yes? I don't know if that's the case. I did say this to Siddharishi one time when I was sitting and doing one of his talks, and it went on for a long time, and he was standing for the talk, and I was sitting cross-legged, and it was an hour and 45 minutes, I think, and I was just sitting there, and I said to him, Is the Zen Master's suffering the same or different from the students? And he said, The same. So in that case, I didn't dare, I wasn't yet ready to ask the question, Is the Zen Master's delusion the same or different from the students? I'm sorry I didn't ask him that one.

[61:55]

I missed it. And he might have said, Same. We don't know. Unfortunately, we can't get him for an encore. But he might have, if I said, after I said, Is the suffering the same, if I said, Is the delusion the same, he might have said, Yes. I do sort of feel like what I knew about him, if I had asked him, I think he probably would have said, Yes. He wasn't trying to hide, very often anyway, his delusion. And the few times he did try to hide it, he showed it. Did you follow that? He wasn't, he was not too much into hiding his delusion, but a few times he did, and when he did, he showed it. A few times, you know, I mean, he probably did many times,

[62:57]

but I saw a few. You probably want to know, right? Huh? How did he show it? Do you remember a time? Yeah, I do. So one time, I was moving rocks with him at Tassajara, and his dear wife came out and gave him some orders, gave him some instruction, kind of emphatically. You might say strongly, sort of like I say for my granddaughter, it was quite strong. I call her my leader. So in a given moment, his wife was temporarily at least his leader. Here's a Zen master, his wife's his leader, and so he heard her, and he turned to me and said something about

[63:58]

putting a leash on her. Putting a leash on her. I should leash her up, as in leash her mouth. He didn't say that, but I thought, hmm. And another one, we went to Portland and he had a gallbladder attack, and he was in a lot of pain, and then we came back from Portland on the airplane. When he got off the airplane, his wife and one of his students was there with a wheelchair for him when he came off the airplane. In those days you could bring the wheelchair, you could go right up to the door, right? So there they were waiting for us when we got off the plane, and he said, I don't need the wheelchair, I'm a Zen master. And I went, hmm.

[65:00]

I went, hmm. Well, he said, they said, do you want a wheelchair? And he said, I'm a Zen master. I don't know if he said, I don't need it, but either he said, I don't need it, or he said, I'm a Zen master. Parentheses. We don't need wheelchairs. We just, we can suffer through anything. Something like that. And I just kind of, hmm. Pretty much whatever he said, I went, hmm. But that one is kind of like, well, why do you have to mention it? I didn't say that to myself, but a little bit like, maybe that little extra, a little extra there. You could just say no, but he told, he says, turns to his disciple, these people, I'm a Zen master. We know that, right? These little things, you know? And he wasn't hiding them from me. I mean, again, he might have hidden some other stuff, but he showed, it's like, can you love me

[66:07]

and trust me and serve me, even if I'm just an ordinary person? Can you treat me like a great Zen master, even if I show you my humanness? And the answer for me was, yeah. Again, I also told you before, one of the early talks he gave, one of the early talks I heard, he said, I'm not enlightened. And I was not happy to hear that. It wasn't like, yes! It was not like that. It was kind of like, oh. Kind of like, oh. And then there was, it wasn't like, I don't care. It wasn't that. It was, hmm. And it was, he's still the best I've ever seen. I still am very happy to be studying with him, even if he's not enlightened. If he's not enlightened, okay, fine.

[67:10]

I still feel like he can be my teacher for what I want to learn. And then, like, the next lecture he said, I am Buddha. And then I went, yes! But of course, Zen Master's not stuck in not being enlightened or being Buddha. That's Buddha. And he was pretty good that way. I would say pretty good. And even if he wasn't pretty good, he was still really good for me. Just right for me. Even though I was just a kid, I could already smell self-righteousness pretty well. I could smell self-righteousness pretty well. If I met any Zen teachers who were kind of like intimating that they were Zen Masters, who were intimating that they were enlightened, I pretty much thought, oh, that poor boy or poor girl,

[68:12]

most of those boys, most of the Zen Masters of those days were boys, and some of them actually kind of like, hmm, what do you think is here? What do you think this robe means? You know, do you have any idea who you're talking to? Some of them were like that, and I kind of go, oh. Suzukeshi was not like that. And I thought, that's the way to be. And one time, one of them came to visit Zen Center, and he was like, whoa, was he, what do you call it, was he a great Buddha? And he was just, you know, he was just strutting around. And Suzukeshi's response was just to be of service to him, rather than look at me and say, do you see this guy? He didn't have to say that to me. I could already see, as a young student,

[69:13]

I could see, this just seems, that looks, doesn't seem like it's appropriate to the welfare of the world. It seems like this is just questionable. And he doesn't look like he's into being questioned. And I did not think, hey, I think I'll go ask him a question. It didn't even occur to me that he would like me to come up and say, can I ask you a question? Do you think, you know, do you think you're a great Bodhisattva or something? What are you trying to tell us? I wish I could have. I probably would have, Suzukeshi probably would have told me, you shouldn't talk that way. But he could have said that, he could have said, what are you doing? But he didn't. He just like humbled himself. And that looked really good to me. I couldn't do it. I couldn't. As a young student, I wasn't even ordained yet. This is before I was ordained

[70:15]

and I didn't get arrogant. I couldn't say, oh, this guy's here for me to be kind to and be compassionate to. I just sort of like looked down on him. And you probably, some of you might too. Maybe not, but I looked down on him. I broke the precept. I thought, I'm never that arrogant. But Suzuki Roshi did not look, or maybe he did, but he didn't act like he was looking down. He didn't exactly look like he was looking up either. He just served him and attended him and helped him. Such a good example. Yes? Was Suzuki Roshi a Zen master? Was he? I don't know what a Zen master is. Do you? Do you know what a Zen master is? No. Well, I don't either. So, that's two of us. I was going to ask about you next. What? I was going to ask if you were next. Well, maybe next week ask me. Come next week.

[71:15]

It's going to be interesting. Tracy's going to ask. Thank you. Sorry, you'll miss that one. It will be recorded though. Or maybe I'll turn the recorder off.

[71:36]

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