My ultimate concern is not whether or not my amplifier works, but having harmonious relationships or being in a harmonious relationship with all beings. Another way to say it is to be in a relationship of creativity and freedom with all beings. And I think that the reason this is what's most important to me is because that's

[01:08]

the way things actually are, and I yearn and want to realize the way things actually are. So I don't have to make this harmony, I have to awaken to it. Not have to, I want to. I want to awaken to it and enter it and participate in it with everybody. And this harmony won't necessarily... the surface of this harmony might not sound like my idea of harmony. Recently people gave me a poem, a number of people gave me this poem independently, and

[02:10]

one of the lines in the poem was, to be able to hear the music no matter what. Something like that. I was climbing up in the hills with my grandson last weekend, I guess on Saturday, and he heard some music that ordinarily people wouldn't hear, but we were just talking and he said, Oh, there's some music. He could hear it in our conversation. To hear the true Dharma. And a lot of Zen students don't have much trouble hearing the Dharma when it's raining

[03:10]

and the drops hit the roof of the meditation hall, it's pretty good, but to hear it all the time, in each moment, to realize it. And the Buddha says, you know, we really are actually fully possess the wisdom which is to be in accord with the way things are, and the virtues that come from being in accord with the way things are, we fully possess them, but because of some views that we hold and some attachments, we don't realize it. So the Buddhas offer a method, and the standard of this method is a self-fulfilling awareness.

[04:16]

So, to be upright in the midst of whatever is happening, and listening to the Dharma, and in particular listening to the Dharma which is that all the Buddhas are practicing together with me, all the Buddhas are practicing together with each of you, and that everything in the universe is born at the same moment with me, and I'm born together with everything in the universe. To listen to that teaching until I understand it. To listen to the way things actually are until I understand it. In the meantime, while I'm listening, perhaps I have some confidence that listening to this

[05:25]

teaching would be in accord with what I want, would be in accord with harmonious relationships, and maybe I feel in more harmony with people right away, quite quickly, when I listen to this teaching. The basic method of the tradition of this temple is to be upright in the midst of this awareness. This awareness can also be said to be an awareness which is invoking, it's an invoking awareness, it's an inviting awareness, it's being upright and saying, welcome, welcome all Buddhas, I

[06:36]

welcome you to come and be with me, to come and practice with me, and I invoke you to bring all your friends, which is all sentient beings, invoking the presence of the Buddha, and practicing standing, and sitting, and speaking, and thinking upright in the midst of their presence until I understand and fully realize the non-duality of this person, this being, of this living being and all Buddhas. This person might be practicing awareness of breath, one is saying be upright, so this

[07:41]

person is perhaps practicing being upright, having an upright posture, even if you're reclining, to have an upright posture, in other words, I'm responsible for my body and mind, and I'm sitting in the midst of the presence of the Buddhas, which means I'm sitting in the midst of responsibility for all bodies and minds, and there's a, as I mentioned over and over, there's a dual presentation of the way of Zen, one side being what we call

[08:48]

upright sitting, and the other going to meet the teacher and listening to the Dharma, listening to the Dharma, hearing the Dharma, and then hearing the Dharma in a sense in an interpersonal arena, hearing it from someone, another person, and hearing the Dharma that you're non-dual with this person who's speaking the Dharma to you, and you're non-dual with all the Buddhas, listening to that teaching, and asking about that teaching, and listening to that teaching, and asking about that teaching, and then sitting and listening to the echoes of that teaching, or listening to that teaching in your own mind, without talking to anybody, and then receiving

[10:00]

that teaching, receiving that teaching, and then go back to interact with the teacher or other people, and enact the teaching, and then listen to the teaching, and receive the teaching, and enact the teaching, and then listen to the teaching, receive the teaching, listen to the teaching, teaching, enact the teaching, round and round, in our own mind, listen to the teaching, and then see if we can act it out in each meeting, and then listen to the teaching, receive the teaching, and enact it, receive the teaching, and employ it, receive the teaching, and the teaching is the teaching of how I'm born, receive the teaching that I'm born together with the whole universe, listen to the teaching that I'm born together with the whole universe, and all the particulars, and all the Buddhas are practicing with me, receive that teaching,

[11:05]

and employ it, listen to that teaching about what I am, how I am, how you are, and employ it, listen to that teaching, and employ it, that's the basic, that's the basic method of the practice, and then there's gazillions of forms of practice, for example, confession that we're not practicing, confession that I haven't been listening to this teaching, I've been saying a few things myself about what's going on here, matter of fact I've been saying how crappy my practice is, or how excellent my practice is, I've been piping up quite a bit myself about how my practice is going, and I also have had a few things to say about other people's practice, so yeah, this person's kind of snotty, that person's

[12:12]

kind of like tense, this person's kind of lazy, I'm lazy, I'm hardworking, I'm lazy, I'm hardworking, so we do all this stuff, and sometimes we say, my practice is just kind of like, not too good or too bad, or it's been quite a while since I even had a thought about my practice, it's been like, you know, it's been like 15 minutes I haven't had any evaluation of my practice at all, I've just been sitting here, that's interesting. So various things happen, as you know, while you're living. To be upright in the midst of it all, with the awareness of that whatever's happening, it's happening together, together

[13:13]

with the mountains, the rivers, the great earth, and all the Buddhas, and we can think about our practice, and we can practice confession, we can practice concentration, we can practice wisdom, we can practice compassion, in the form of giving, and ethical study, and discipline, we can practice patience, hopefully we can practice patience, we can practice diligence, we can practice, again, concentration and wisdom, on and on, all these wonderful practices that are available, that we've heard about, that we can learn more about, that we can listen about, that we can talk about, that we can ask questions about, all these things, plus we can also avoid all these practices, we can put them down, we can forget about them,

[14:25]

we can confess that we've forgotten about them, we have a lot of opportunities here, right? And we may, what do you call it, accept and receive these opportunities, but they're all on the path, if we're sitting upright in the middle of them, with this awareness. They'll all find their place, they'll all find their place in the Buddha way, in this context. I say that. Now, sitting here with you, I'm going to ask you to sit down, and I'm going to ask you

[15:30]

you, sitting upright with you, I have this opinion that I'm sitting upright, which includes that I might be wrong. Maybe I'm inclining forward or backwards, right or left, but I actually feel pretty upright and I don't take that very seriously. That's my opinion. And sitting in the midst of this awareness, supported by all the Buddhas, I want to mention a few things. One is something which I have talked to a number of you about already for quite a while, and I just wanted to say again that Buddhas do have desires, and I feel, I think Buddhas

[16:36]

do have desires. Buddhas want something, but there's no seeking in their practice. They want things, but there's no gaining idea in their practice. Non-Buddhas also want things, but they have gaining ideas woven in with their desires. Some of the desires that non-Buddhas have are just like the Buddhas, identical almost, at least in specific cases. So, what do the Buddhas want? They want us to realize Buddha's wisdom and virtues, Buddha's wisdom and knowledge. That's what Buddhas want. They want us to realize this actual communion of the enlightened and unenlightened beings.

[17:45]

They want us to realize that, they want us to enjoy that, they want us to enjoy that, they want us to fully enjoy what we can potentially fully enjoy, which means they want us to be free and fearless and loving of all beings like them. They want that for us, it seems to me that's what they want, however, they don't see that as a gain, and if we were that way and then we ceased to be that way, and we're some other way, they don't see that as a loss, or rather, they can see that as a gain or as a loss, but they do it, they see it that way just so they can talk to us, but simultaneously, which is the part we need to learn about, they see that there's no increase or decrease,

[18:49]

there's no attainment or non-attainment, as we say in the Heart Sutra, they see that, they see that when someone realizes Buddha's wisdom and compassion, it's not an improvement, it's not a gain, and if someone goes from being a Buddha to being a non-Buddha, it's not a loss, they see that, there's no such thing, actually, these are all illusions, they see that, and they still, in the midst of seeing no gain and loss, in the midst of where there's no gain and loss, they want us to be super happy and free. So learning this is part of what we can learn, and again, I think it helps to, for me it

[19:51]

helps to learn this in the context of this awareness that all the Buddhas are helping me learn this, and whether I learn it or not is not that big a deal, but still, Buddhas want it, and I want it. Buddhas want us to learn things, but if we learn them, they don't think we're better than we were before we learned them. Buddhas don't love us more after we learn this stuff than before. They want us to learn, but they don't expect us to learn it. If we want something, like something good for people, and we expect them, or think it's an improvement, we are now taking the point of view of a non-Buddha.

[20:54]

The Buddha has the combination of no gain or loss, together with, I want them to be supremely happy, those two. This compassion of wanting people to be happy and free in the middle of an emptiness of gain and loss, that's the Buddha. What some people do is they want something and they expect it, and then they get frustrated if they don't get it, and sometimes, even though they want a person to be happy or healthy, if the person doesn't get happy or healthy because they expect the person to get happy or healthy, they abandon the person. They even start hating the person, I mean sincerely hating them, and that might be somewhat useful sometime, so the Buddha actually might hate somebody if it was useful, but

[21:57]

it wouldn't be real hate, it would just be a magical show if it helped somebody. They really would love the person in their sickness, and some people are going to be sick for a long time, and they're going to need love during that whole sickness period, and who's going to give it to them? It's the one who wants them to get well, and doesn't see wellness as a gain, who doesn't think the person's a better person after they get well, who thinks they're totally adorable in their illness, totally adorable, couldn't be better, and in fact isn't better, in fact we're not better than we are, and the universe has gone to a lot of trouble

[23:00]

to make us the way we are. Sit upright. In the midst of self-fulfilling awareness. Sit upright and practice in the midst of self-fulfilling awareness. Sit with those beings who want us to realize our full potential and don't see it as a gain, and really sincerely appreciate us the way we are.

[24:03]

And also I guess I think that without fully appreciating myself the way I am, without that appreciation of myself the way I am, it will be more difficult for me to realize my full potential, or rather I just won't realize my full potential until I do. I can't realize my full potential if I skip over being me. Just can't get around it. And skip over means a little bit not appreciating myself. Now that's quite a bit even though it's not new, but I just might also introduce a new

[25:22]

idea to you, not a new idea, but just something new for this session, and that is two family styles. One family style is the strict father family style, and the other is the nurturing parent, or nurturing parents family style. The strict father family style might be said to be, actually in some Zen temples it looks like they have strict father family style. The strict father is that some people might say the world is, there's always evil in the world, and it's a dangerous place, and children are born bad, and they want to do what feels

[26:32]

good, not necessarily what is right, and they have to be made good. They have to be taught right from wrong, and then they have to be punished if they do wrong, so that they can internalize these values and have the internal discipline to be good. And father knows best, and children don't, so father doesn't have to explain what he's doing, and mother is a little too soft and loving to do this job, so it's a job for the strict father. And when things are really, when the danger level, when the, what do you call it, the colors? Huh? The alert system?

[27:33]

Terror alert. When the color is high, then of course the father has to be stricter, and the rights of the family, except for the father, all the rights go down. Father gets more rights, and everybody else in the family gets less. And you know, that particular version of family values, and it could be a Zen practice family values, or Christian family, or Jewish family, or Islamic family, those family values are not entirely baseless, they're based on something. They are. And there's another, the other side is the side of the children are born, if not good, innocent, perhaps, but anyway, they need, it's the other style, is a style of responsible

[28:40]

nurturing parents, and in this case, both parents are equally responsible, but actually I would say it too, innumerable parents are equally responsible, although I'm stretching the usual understanding there. In some sense, the Buddhist teachings, in a sense, in between the two, beings are not born innocent, beings are born with the Buddha nature, they fully possess Buddha's wisdom and virtue, but because of actually not being innocent, because of attachments and misconceptions that come innately, they don't realize it. So in some sense, you know, the Buddhist view is in between those two, and might sometimes

[29:43]

partake of them. Eheji Monastery was used, the training methods of Eheji Monastery were used during this century to train the Japanese military, and in Rinzai temples, in some Soto temples, they use a stick on the monks, especially the male monks, they use a stick a lot to help the monks not be bad, in the form of sleeping or whatever, and we used to use a stick quite a bit here at Zen Center, and we pretty much stopped, although it's making a comeback here and there. One Soto Zen teacher said, who didn't use the stick said, if people sit long enough they'll eventually wake up.

[30:43]

The Bodhisattva vow is, one of the Bodhisattva vows under the Bodhisattva precepts is, they use a Chinese character which means to embrace and sustain, and also means to nurture, but it also means to receive Buddha's compassion, it both means to nurture, nurture whatever, but it also means to receive Buddha's compassion, it's both receiving and nurturing, and so in translating these, the three pure precepts of the Bodhisattva precepts, we say embrace and sustain the forms and ceremonies, embrace and sustain all wholesome activities, and embrace and sustain all beings, but it's hard to translate that, another way would be to

[31:58]

put it is, receive Buddha's compassion as these practices, or receive Buddha's compassion and practice the forms of Zen, receive Buddha's compassion and practice all good, receive Buddha's compassion and nurture and embrace and sustain all beings. When you meet a being, receive Buddha's compassion and let it come back, go back to the person, receive Buddha's compassion from the person and all around you, and then enact it with the person, receive Buddha's compassion and embrace and sustain this person, this includes that the person might be lazy, this includes that the person might not realize that they fully possess Buddha's wisdom and compassion, this includes that the person might be whatever. There is not a Bodhisattva precept that has had much longevity as follows,

[33:27]

I vow to beat up sentient beings, I vow to harm sentient beings, I vow to reject and abandon sentient beings, we don't have that precept. People do that as you know, but we don't have the precept to do that, we just accept that that happens, that seems to happen, that people seem to do that. However, we do have a precept which says embrace and sustain all, all living beings. If somebody is practicing Zen and they are sleepy, embrace and sustain that person. How? Well, sit upright, receive Buddha's compassion and then give it to that person.

[34:30]

Receive Buddha's compassion and then enact it with that person. Just like that, so simple. It doesn't say if someone is sleeping in the Zen Do, you go over there by your own power and embrace and sustain them. It both is receive Buddha's compassion, receive the support of all the Buddhas together with everybody, let there be assistance, with the support of all beings and all Buddhas, let there be embracing and sustaining. It doesn't say, well actually we do say, I vow to embrace and sustain, but I vow to be embraced and sustained to embrace and sustain, but it doesn't, that's going a bit far to say all that. It just says actually the precept of embracing and sustaining all beings.

[35:36]

It doesn't say the precept of I'm going to embrace and sustain, it's the precept of embracing and sustaining all beings. Here I am a person who wishes to commit to this precept, which means I commit to the embracing and sustaining of all beings, which includes me and that includes who I meet. I'm embraced and sustained and I want to participate in the embracing and sustaining. I'm receiving all this support and I want to be enacting that with everybody I meet. We have a precept like that. And then we have a precept of I'm embraced and sustained to embrace and sustain, for example upright sitting, but I might look like I'm asleep while I'm sitting. At that time perhaps I'm not really like thinking, oh I'm embraced and sustained to

[36:38]

be sleeping. I might not be thinking that, but my understanding is I still am being embraced and sustained to be sleeping in the zendo. The Buddhas are embracing me and sustaining me and then you, if you're awake, you can be awake to receiving Buddha's compassion, to being embraced and sustained by all Buddhas and then you can help me. You can embrace and sustain me in my sleeping state. And maybe I'll wake up and say, thanks, now I'm back with you and then you can go to sleep and then I can embrace and sustain you and then you can wake up. So we take turns until we're all awake. Maybe once in a while, as it seems to be in the Zen stories, the strict father is good

[37:49]

to have. It could be, sometime that might be helpful. But it seems rare in the context of the Samadhi, because in the Samadhi life is not so dangerous, but as we approach it, there's some danger, because we're still in the world of gain and loss, perhaps, as we approach it. So some harm can occur in that gain and loss realm. I want you to be happy, I see that as a gain and I, what do you call it, I'm at risk of being frustrated and unappreciative of you if you don't get with this program of becoming

[38:52]

happy. If I'm not in the Samadhi, I can be unappreciative of you, even though I want the best for you and care greatly for you and would even give my life for you, I can still not appreciate you. So that's my moral values offering. And we need to figure out how to, I need to figure out with you, together we need to figure out how to deal with this, because this is one analysis I think that's valid, has some usefulness for our country now. We need to talk up the nurturing, responsible parent, shared responsibility, embracing and sustaining thing. So this Zen tradition should be quite helpful in saving the world.

[39:58]

Is there anything you want to bring up? Yes? Can I sing you a song? Any particular one you like? No? Do you know it? Do you know it? I know, but do you know it? You do? Come on up here. Please, come up here. Would you like to come up here and sit near me? Why don't you sit over here? Can I ask what I want for Christmas? Well, first of all, I want to ask you, are you in the self-fulfilling samadhi? Of course.

[41:06]

You are? So you have been a good girl? I had no choice. I didn't mean to upstage you. You didn't. You're not upstaging me. I'll be in the listening mode. It's what I do best these days. Are you ready? Yes. Together. How does it start? Pack up. Pack up. Pack up your troubles in your old kit bag. That's a different song. Bye Bye Blackbird, right? Yes. Pack up all your cares and woes. Pack up all your cares and woes? Oh, that's part of Bye Bye Blackbird? Is it? You sang it. You burst out into song in the middle of a Dharma talk. Pack up your troubles in your old kit bag. And smile, smile, smile. Okay, I think it's better to end on that note. You think what?

[42:07]

It's better to end on that note. Any other requests? What's Samadhi? What's Samadhi? Well, in one sense, Samadhi is the one-pointedness. The definition of Samadhi is the one-pointedness of mind and object. So, if we're aware, if we have the thought, all the Buddhas are practicing together with me. All the Buddhas are practicing together with you. I'm practicing together with... I'm born together with and practicing together with the mountains, the rivers, and all beings. I have that thought. And my mind, my awareness, and that thought are one point.

[43:08]

So it's not only to think that thought, but not to feel that my mind and that thought are two, but be that thought, in a sense. To be, you know, to totally accept the thought that I'm accepting the support of the whole universe to live. So it's not just the thought, all Buddhas are practicing together with me. It's not just the thought. I'm born together with the mountains, the rivers, the great earth, and all beings. It's not just that thought. It's being one-pointed with that thought. So there's just that thought, not me and that thought. Then that's the samadhi, that type of samadhi. But our vision gets in the way of hearing the Dharma. And I'm wondering, is there a way that we could soften our vision

[44:13]

to allow the Dharma to sort of be with us? I don't know if I said that the vision gets in the way, but I think it's not so much that the vision gets in the way, but that believing our vision is what's happening seems to obscure our view, seems to obscure our vision. Is there a way to soften it? Yeah, I think one of the ways is what it says in the He He Ko So Ho Tso Ga Mon is get the vision out in front, where you can see, this is my vision. So if I actually, you know, had the vision that we're separate, to become aware of that vision that we're separate, or if I have the vision that, you know, we're not cooperating and I have the vision the Buddhas are not with me,

[45:14]

to get that vision out in front and consider it and consider it and observe it. The more I observe it, the less... And the more I observe that I believe it, and the more I observe the consequences of believing it, which are stress and greed, hate and delusion, the more I will be transformed. The more I see this thought and its consequences, every time I see this thought and its consequences, every time I acknowledge this thought and notice that it's antithetical to the Buddhist teaching, and notice that it's quite common among beings, and notice that it is the support of afflictive emotions, which cause me pain and affliction, but also it isn't just a problem for me, but it's a problem for all of us. that are believing these. So it becomes then, you know, as I notice it's a problem for me, I'm transformed,

[46:15]

as I notice it's a problem for you, it's transformed, as I notice it's a problem for both of us, I'm transformed, we're transformed, and then I also start to see also that my transformation is your transformation and your transformation is my transformation, so that also makes me take less seriously this sense that we're separate and other misconceptions that I tend to believe, I start to take less seriously. And also just generally, to be practicing in the midst of this Samadhi, I just generally take all my views less seriously. My views are not so much what's important, like Abraham Lincoln's statement, you know, the world will little note nor long remember what we say here, but it will never forget what they did here. Now he's speaking of the heroic soldiers, on both sides, I would say.

[47:18]

So I could say, the world will little note nor long remember what I think here, but it will always remember what they did here, namely, they being the Buddhas, that the Buddhas and all sentient beings came together to make one human being. The world will always remember that. That's a great thing, that all the Buddhas practiced together with you in one moment. The world will never forget that. The fact that it's happened more than once, to more than one person, the world will never forget that. Some parts of the world will forget it though, but also the world will remember this wonderful thing, that Buddhas have appeared in the world because they want beings to be realized. In that context, what I think, even my misconceptions are not,

[48:24]

although they really do cause problems, they're not such a big deal. How I feel and so on is not such a big deal. Or to put it another way, whatever way I feel, however obstructed I am, however afflicted I am, every single thing that ever happens and every particle composing everything that ever happens is an opportunity to enter the Dharma. And then, this is again, receiving Buddha's compassion and being able to enter into any situation. So, having misconceptions and believing them, it's still possible to enter. It's an opportunity. And then when entering, then we can employ that. Entering with the support of all beings, then this entering can be employed. So, we don't need to be in too much of a hurry

[49:28]

to get rid of obscuring views. But more, enter them and realize that the obscuring views are never separate from all the Buddhas. So, all I've got to do is like completely appreciate the obscuring view simply as an obscuring view, completely respect and adore whatever form of life is happening there, and that's where we start. Yeah. They have desire. I've heard. That they just don't think there's loss or gain. Well, they see that there is no loss and gain.

[50:34]

So, I found that difficult to understand those two statements together. Yeah. Well, see, the Buddhas see the Heart Sutra all day long. Right? In a sense, they have two eyes. They have a Heart Sutra eye where they see there's no increase, no decrease, no beginning or end. They see that. And when they look at beings, they also don't see any beings. And they know that there really aren't any separate beings. There's just this vast, interdependent, wondrous universe. Simultaneously, in order to interact... They... They can imagine that there are separate beings and then they can talk. And when they see beings who don't understand what beings are, they want those beings to be... to be happy.

[51:36]

These miserable beings, they want them to be happy. So they can see both the conventional world and the ultimate at the same time. Kansa called that the Mahayana Miracle. I want to ask something particular. Help me... Help me realize... That's a perfectly good desire. And then, if you could have that desire to understand this without seeing that understanding as a game, that would be it. The desire to understand this, I think, is just like a Buddha would have that same desire.

[52:38]

The Buddha would have a desire for herself and that Buddha would have a desire for all beings. That they would understand this point. But, at the same time, not see this understanding when it manifests as a game. Because if there's an idea that this understanding which you want, which is perfectly healthy to want it, it's Buddha to want it. But, on the other side, to see it as a game weaves a thread of suffering into that want. And the Buddhas don't weave the gain into the desire. So, they see suffering beings and they want them to be happy. They see beings who don't understand and they want them to understand. But they understand at the same time there is no gain and loss, so they don't take the thread of gain and loss and mix it in with their desire for people to understand. If we do mix

[53:41]

gain and loss into our good wishes for people, our good will, if we do that, it poisons the good will. Say there's a person whose heart is very heavy and constricted and goes around doing harm a lot. Then, they leave the Buddha. Yes. Gradually, their heart loosens and they stop doing harm. So, very little harm. Yes, say that happens. Say that has happened. Say there's many stories like that. Like Scrooge, right? I keep wanting to think that it's better that that happens. There's gain. You keep wanting to think that? Well, let's say... I think that.

[54:43]

Yeah, right. I think that. Yeah. Where the world is better, the world should be this way. That person is better. I'm better because that person is better. Yeah, right. Yes. That's right. You got it. The Buddha recommends, this tradition recommends, arouse the thought of good will towards all beings. Please, feel good will towards every living being, and also everything. This is Buddha's wish. Buddha feels that way. But Buddha not only does not weave gain or better into the good will, but cautions us against doing that. Because it undermines,

[55:48]

it doesn't completely destroy the good will, it just poisons it. It undermines it. It derails it to some extent. And the way it derails it is, I feel good will towards somebody, and I see it as better. So then when the good will does not manifest, you know, when the goodness which I hope for this person does not manifest, I actually can stop appreciating the person. If I see someone who is in bad shape and I don't wish them to be happy and they continue to be in bad shape, I maybe pity them, say, ah, the person's having a hard time, too bad, or you know, that's just the way they are. And if they ask me for some help, I might give it. I'm not disappointed in them. I don't feel like they're disappointing me

[56:50]

or letting me down. Now, if I look at the person who's having this hard time and I think, boy, I really, really want this person to be happy, oh, and I don't want the slightest harmful thing to happen to them. I don't want a tiny scratch on her cheek. I want to protect this person and nurture this person in every possible way, and I want that to be successful. I want them to become nurtured. And I feel that with my whole heart. And then they start picking at their skin. If I had a gaining idea and I thought it was better that this would happen, I can actually turn on that person and hate them for interfering with my project about what they would become, which is a good project, an excellent project, it's a goodwill project. But because of this idea that this is better than something else,

[57:53]

it's poisoned. More or less. At the moment, plus later, it also causes later problems of that same pattern happening again. This is called outflows. This way, this thread of gain and loss in this pattern of life. And some people, as you probably know, many teenagers, for example, want to find out if those who feel goodwill towards them will continue to feel goodwill and will continue to tend to them even if they don't go along with their programs of goodwill. So we want them to be happy and healthy, and they see that, and they wonder, I wonder if this person loves me enough that they would continue to love me even if I totally

[58:55]

thwart and oppose their goodwill program. I wonder if they love me that much, that purely. I wonder if I've got true love here. Or is this just love of where they want me to be happy and healthy, and if I go along with that program and become happy and healthy, that they'll be happy and they'll love me for doing what they wanted me to do. Is it that kind of love? Let's check it out. And they check it out, and sometimes they think, geez, this person doesn't seem to love me anymore now that I'm not doing what they think would be good for me. That's too bad. I think I'll check it out a little bit more and make sure that they really don't love me and that really they just want me to be a credit to the community and have the family be proud of me. And of course this happens in Zen centers too. The students want to know, will the teachers love me, will the Buddha love me if I'm like the worst Zen student of all time? They're more interested to know about love

[59:58]

and its authenticity than being approved. These are the really courageous people sometimes. These are the great bodhisattvas in the community, the really bad ones, who are like snarling and fighting back and rejecting the teacher's kindness just to see if it's real, if it's authentic. How far can I test it? When will she lose her patience with me? Is this a real teacher or just somebody who, if everything's nice and tidy around here, the Zen Dojo's clean, everybody's sitting up straight, nobody's snoring or slobbering, the teacher will love us. But when we get all slovenly and come late, which is not the way they want us to be, of course, they want us to be on time, tidy and happy. Because being on time and tidy

[60:59]

is happiness, isn't it? Yes, teacher. It's a complex thing, this human situation. Simple solution, simple solution, give up. Give up the view of gain and loss, or tune in to the view of no gain and loss. In other words, bodhisattvas need to realize emptiness. Without realizing emptiness, we will get caught. By these beings that we're trying to help. So we're totally devoted to them. When we don't hold back our devotion, we want them to realize the very best, and then we need emptiness so that whatever they do, we will realize no gain, no loss, no increase, no decrease, no purity, no defilement,

[61:59]

no attainment, no non-attainment, no suffering, no origination, free of this whole process of the practice. Then we can be an emptiness which has compassion at its heart. You can switch it around and say a compassion which has emptiness at its heart, but either way, we need emptiness, we need to realize emptiness. We've got emptiness, but we need to realize it. We need to realize that our idea of what this person is and how well they're doing is just that. We want them to be happy, but our idea is not reaching what they are. And they are here to help us understand, and we are here to help them understand, and the Buddhas are all rooting for us to understand and helping us every moment and supporting us every moment to realize emptiness and purify our compassion,

[63:01]

of gain and loss, of increase and decrease, of preferences, so that we can appreciate this person. Keep listening, keep listening, keep listening, keep talking, keep asking, keep listening until you understand this. All of us keep studying until we understand this. And we must fundamentally have goodwill to all beings, but then we need to not weave gain and loss into our goodwill, but weave emptiness into our goodwill. Don't you think so? Yes? I don't understand emptiness. I don't understand emptiness in the context of watching every moment,

[64:06]

the whole earth and the entire sky to be born. I don't understand it. It doesn't mean somebody is receiving and just emptying, as you said, it's not receiving. Well, one way to understand it in that context is that I, am born together with the great earth and all things, so there's no inherent existence to me. I'm not something in addition to the great earth. It's not like the great earth and all things are born and then I'm on top of that, or they're on top of me. None of us are anything in addition to the things other than us. We're empty of inherent existence. That's one way to understand it. Well, increase and decrease

[65:12]

also has no inherent existence. There isn't really any, you can never be able to find actually increase and decrease. You can't find me, ultimately, other than all the conditions that make me. And you can't find increase and decrease other than all the conditions which give rise to the appearance of increase and decrease. Pardon? I can't... It's a little bit slower. There seems to be increase and decrease, but there's conditions for that appearance of increase and decrease. And there's no actual inherently existing increase. The idea, if you look at increase, you'll never find your idea of increase in the actual increase. Yes?

[66:13]

In Buddha's desire, Buddha's wish for people, is there a sense of Buddha's ability to do anything, to change the conditions? I guess I find for me, when I feel like I can take some action, I read that second thread through the Buddha. The Buddha's... The Buddha's... What a Buddha is, actually, is practice. The Buddha is not like something sitting there being something by itself. The Buddha is actually the practice of a Buddha. That's what a Buddha is in this tradition. And what is the practice of a Buddha? The practice of the Buddha is the practice, is practicing in the same manner as all beings. That's the practice of a Buddha. So the Buddha is, you know, has activity,

[67:15]

and the activity of the Buddha is your practice and my practice. That's the activity of Buddha. And when our practice becomes everybody... When our practice becomes... in the mountains and the rivers, then our practice is also Buddha's practice. So in a specific situation, a Buddha doesn't say, here's a suffering being that I want to have the suffering relief from, and I can do something about it? Well, in a sense, in a particular situation where there is a suffering being manifesting, and that suffering being is practicing in a certain way which involves suffering, the wish, the arising in that situation with the suffering being, of the wish that they would be free of the suffering and realize,

[68:17]

you know, happiness, that wish manifests the Buddha. But still, without adding anything, just to have suffering being and the wish for their freedom, which the being might be feeling, or somebody else with the person might be feeling, but the combination of suffering beings and compassion in the form of wishing beings to be free, that manifests the activity of Buddha, which is none other than the practice we've just described. The wonder-working function of Buddha is there, and it includes that there is no gain and loss in this picture, and it includes that there is the illusion of gain and loss, and that's why the person is suffering. People are suffering because they believe in gain and loss. They think life is something you're going to get something out of. Life is not enough. It's like,

[69:18]

what can I get out of it? We're built to see it that way, so we suffer. Then there's the wish that we would be free of this suffering, which means free of this belief in gain and loss, and that wish manifests the Buddha, which is none other than these suffering beings. You know, the wish to be free of suffering is not other than us. We ourselves, while we're suffering, can wish to be free of suffering. Right? We can feel compassion while we're suffering. That compassion gives rise to Buddha. Buddhas are born from that wish, which is another kind of reasoning for why they're not other than us. So the not other than us part, which is compassion, gives rise to the function of Buddha. So they're not other than us, and yet, if a being is suffering,

[70:19]

and there's no compassion, then Buddha is not born there. At that point, then we just have pure unadulterated misery with not even the wish to be free. However, there is this wish to be free all around that person all the time, and that's manifesting Buddhas all around this person. And yet, it seems like this person is in isolation of that, and that's what has various horrible names. And then from that place comes greed, hate, and delusion, and cruelty, and everything. Right? I mean, isn't that how it works? Yes? She said, isn't it kind of ironic that to go towards studying there's a certain gain? It is kind of ironic,

[71:20]

yes. It is kind of ironic or paradoxical. And that's been pointed out a number of times by our ancestors, that when you first approach the way, you move farther away from it. When you first plan to go to study, you actually, like, skipped over that you were already there. But that's a beginner's mistake, that, you know, you think you have to go someplace to practice, and as soon as you make a move towards the Zen Center, you just abandon your practice, which you should have been doing right where you were. There's this story which I've told a number of times about this Native American teacher who, one of the main ways he taught was to teach people about, you know, the landscape, the plants. So people would come to study with him and they would say, you know, I'd like to study with you. And he'd say, find me 20 native plants. And if the person took a step away from him, he'd say, I'm not going to teach you.

[72:22]

Do you understand? They're supposed to, like, look down at the ground right where they are and find 20 right there, not, not, well, let's see now. But that's, most people got, he didn't have very many students. The really dumb ones probably, you know, didn't even look around. They go, oh my God, there's a plant down there. But anyway, it is often the case that when we first start, we abandon where, you know, where we actually already are and where the Buddhas are already with us. We walk away from the Buddhas to study with the Buddhas. One time, one time, Suzuki Roshi did a ceremony with us where he gave us new okases. We'd all, several of us had already been ordained as priests, and we received what are called okases, Buddhist robes, Buddha robes.

[73:26]

And then we got a new set of robes made according to some, a traditional way, and we received them. And after, but we, we didn't know how to put them on. They're put on in a somewhat different way. So after the ceremony, we said, Roshi, how do you, how do you put the robe on? And he got up and walked away. And then, so we said to Katagiri Roshi, how do we put the robe on? And he started to try to explain to us how to do it, you know. And it was hard for him actually to say. It's easier for him just to show us, but he started to try to talk to us, explain to us. And one of the people who was one of the students said, oh look. And Roshi was, Suzuki Roshi was putting the okasa on. He got up and went and put the okasa on to show us. But we, you know, we didn't notice. Yeah, it's funny. Timo, did you have your hand raised? Timo? Yeah. The rising of what?

[74:32]

The rising of the wan, the rising of the Buddha's desire? It's actually, I think it's not so much the arising of the Buddha's desire, it's the arising of the desire manifest the Buddha. It's not like the Buddhas are sitting there and then their want arises in them. It's more like suffering beings and then this desire for freedom arises and then Buddhas manifest. Buddhas are born, they're also dependent co-arisings. It's not like the Buddhas are already sitting there, okay, okay, okay, bring me some sentient beings and then I'll want to help and then I'll go to work. No, there aren't any Buddhas until there are sentient beings who are suffering and then one more thing, the wish for them to be free. Then Buddhas start popping. So Buddhas are dependent co-arisings too. That's why they have no life other than our suffering and other people's suffering and this desire for freedom.

[75:38]

Period. No gain or loss around that. The people who are suffering already have the gain. There's plenty of gain and loss stuff going on already. So you have living beings, gain and loss, therefore suffering. So we've got suffering and gain and loss already in the soup. Now there arises, how about a little freedom from this gain and loss and this suffering? Then Buddha pops. But Buddha doesn't bring any gain and loss into the situation. The Buddhas are supervising and giving swimming instructions in the soup to those who are concerned with gain and loss and are suffering. And Buddha says, I want you to be happy. Just give up the gain and loss part. I've given it up and that's why no matter how long it takes you to learn giving it up, I'm going to hang in there with you. It may be eons before you give up gain and loss, but since I'm not into gain and loss, I'll be there with you every step of your miserable gain and loss-ing way. Every step of your self-concern,

[76:42]

how am I doing, practice. I'm not into that, therefore I'm your reliable friend. Because that wish to be free keeps popping up and every time it pops up, I get born. There it is. I get born. That wish to be free sustains the Buddhas, keeps making them be born and [...] born. And the freedom from gain and loss keeps them on the job to help those who are still hooked in gain and loss and therefore suffering. That's how it works, folks, here in the self-fulfilling awareness. So please stay tuned to that. Sit in the middle of that so you can let that in and understand that and be part of that. The Buddhas are with you doing this. Please join the Buddhas. Get on the path. Which you're already on. Okay, Timo?

[77:43]

I've been sitting, contemplating, thinking about this interdependence or emptiness. So it seems that through this time that you've been speaking, as a condition I've arisen many, [...] many... I've noticed. Many times. I saw you. Hi. Hi. So those, are those factors that are giving, that are arising with the mountains and the rivers and the oceans and me and this floor and you and the teaching? You say, are those factors? But then you mentioned a bunch of factors. Right. They are arising out of they are being given by many, many other factors. Yes. So, are the... I'm linking and I'm probably way off base

[78:48]

but I need you to tell me this about linking Buddhas to the factors that give rise to mountains, oceans, gravity, floor, ceiling that ultimately give rise to each of us in this moment. Are those... Are those Buddhas that are giving rise to ceiling, floor, corpuscles, blood that give rise to this in position as me and you? Are those Buddhas that are giving rise to this? Buddhas are giving rise to sentient beings, sentient beings are giving rise to Buddhas. Mountains and rivers, mountains and rivers and the great earth and all beings and all Buddhas are born together with you. So, in you give rise, the Buddhas arise, the Buddhas are born with you and you're born with the Buddhas. The Buddhas are... All the things that I would see that I would put an imputation on are Buddhas.

[79:50]

All the things you put imputations on in the way they really are functioning are the Buddha nature. Of that essence? No essence. Right, thank you. No essence. Blood, corpuscle, eye, hair, ad infinitum, they give rise to this minute. Each of those things are Buddhas that come up and arise. I wouldn't really say that blood is Buddha but blood has Buddha nature because blood has this interdependent assisting quality so that enlightenment resonates to and from all particles in the universe. But sentient beings in a sense are not Buddhas and corpuscles

[80:53]

are not Buddhas but they're inseparable from Buddhas and Buddhas are born together with them but as far as I know corpuscles do not arise just from compassion. They would arise from the same factors that give rise to other... Yeah. Corpuscles arise from compassion equally to toenails and other things but toenails are not actually strictly speaking Buddhas however they have they have an enlightened nature so that toenails so that we can enter Buddha's wisdom through toenails through anything and inside toenails are innumerable molecules as you know and atoms and each one of these atoms there's innumerable world systems each one has Buddha's teaching and so on. So there's Buddhas throughout toenails but toenails per se are not Buddhas but toenails resonate to Buddhas

[81:54]

that are within them. So there's suffering universes inside toenails and then Buddhas are arising with those suffering universes and so we can enter various Buddha realms through anything and a lot of these stories are about people entering through toenails or you know toenail trimmings or eyelashes or you know drops of saliva or a pebble or you know a dew drop or anything you know it demonstrates the Buddha nature all things do and in particular Buddhas are practicing around suffering beings they're not so much congealed around around dew drops dew drops

[82:56]

we don't feel they're not suffering dew drops aren't into gain and loss so Buddhas don't feel compassion for them and want them to be free of what they're not don't have problems with it's particularly around suffering beings that the Buddhas are like hovering and all you know ganged up on but although you're not we don't we're not totally surrounded by toenails we have a few toenails all of us like about 20 most of us but 10 I guess but it isn't like there's innumerable toenails around us except for the toenails you might say on the Buddhas but these Buddhas do not necessarily have toenails do you understand? this is this is the picture get the picture? this is the picture of how the universe actually is so you know

[83:59]

listen to it until you get it and then when you get it you're going to be fine you're going to be like enjoying the Dharma so that's why this this awareness is the awareness by which we receive and realize this kind of inconceivable teaching that things are this way was there a hand over there? yes, I don't know who was first Michael or Jerry Jerry I said Buddha is born of suffering Buddha nature doesn't necessarily arise of suffering Buddha nature suffering has Buddha nature no well yes Buddha is born of suffering but suffering is not enough for Buddha to be born Buddha is born of what? Buddha is born of what? Buddha is born of

[85:01]

all phenomena but you've got to have one special one what is it? it's this it's compassion it's the desire for beings to realize Buddhism Buddhas are born of compassion of course compassion is born of wisdom I mean of of wisdom but compassion is born of suffering so suffering beings and compassion then Buddhas pop up no no but we don't have that problem so don't worry about it we still have lots of suffering beings who in their suffering are causing a lot of trouble right? so we have no shortage of concern for gain and loss and misery got plenty of it what we need more of is we need more compassion we need more goodwill

[86:01]

and less gain and loss concern so we need to do get more and more and more without that being a gain more gain and loss no same amount is fine more more and more without that being an increase total openness to our nature which is goodwill Jerry is it it's devoid of it? I no I don't think so because in order to make a system of ethics you're gonna have to like you know have conventional designations and so on and conventional designation brings in gain and loss so I think I think gain and loss will be part of a system of ethics yes and that's

[87:03]

something that we have to get over when we study ethics and that's the that's the perfection of a system of ethics is to not be caught by the gain and loss that are built into a system like that yes yes to me I'm conceptualizing it as almost like energy in that the energy goes where it's needed and the energy arises and we're all part of this energy and that's why we go back to just letting ourselves be because all we are is energy and everything is just space I can see you what she said that she's kind of conceiving of all these different

[88:06]

processes we're talking about as energy and she's asking if she's conceiving it correctly I would say that the way you're conceiving it is part of your entering into this awareness and you just keep this is conceiving of it is your way of listening to it and asking questions about it this is part of the process of entering and practicing in the midst of this of this of this awareness to say that it's correct or incorrect I don't know if that's going to be helpful I would just encourage you to continue to listen to this teaching and ask questions about this teaching and meditate on this teaching and keep asking if you want to, whether it's correct or not that's fine, I'll probably keep saying well, that's not really the point pardon? if we were to attach a label

[89:07]

it's I wouldn't I wouldn't encourage you to attach labels to it but you have to to some extent because you can talk about it but mostly I'm just saying you know listen to it, listen to it, listen to it think about it until you understand and the way you're thinking about it is thinking about it I don't feel like you're getting off track until you start asking whether it's correct then I think I would say, well that's getting back into like gain and loss I think so watch out for that but I'm not going to say it's wrong to do that because then I'm getting into gain and loss and also I'm not refusing to say it's wrong I just don't want to if you force me I'll say it's wrong or I'll say it's right if you force me I can be forced yes? could you look at it as a system of

[90:15]

ethics that's not involved in gain and loss? you sure could and we can definitely look at it as a system of ethics to free us from gain and loss that's part of the agenda of the precepts is to free us from gain and loss in particular the precept of embracing and sustaining all beings if you practice embracing and sustaining all beings if you practice being embraced and sustained and receiving support from all beings and then giving it back and then receiving it and giving it back if you enter into that practice that precept gain and loss don't make any sense anymore gain and loss don't make any sense anymore

[90:56]

@Text_v004
@Score_JJ