The Usefulness of Doubt in the Life of a Bodhisattva

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this morning we discussed the pivotal activity of all buddhas ah which can be described as
buddha's give
people receive the teachings
and then bodhisattvas other beings who received the buddhist teachings
give them back to the buddha by practicing the duties and the borders
give the teachers again and the beings received them and practice some and that's their way of giving back the gift to the gift gift tourney like this this is the pivotal activity
of receiving the teachings and giving the teachers receiving the buddhist support and giving the buddhist support

and so i
i hope that we i pray that we can remember
this offering which is non-stop
have we can train ourselves into realizing that was teaching is coming to us all the time
and then receive it in each moment
receptive to it in each moment which is similar to being awake in each moment
and then in receiving it
like that be the practice of it
and at the practice of again be transmitted to all beings and back to buddhas

and the teaching him that the buddhists are giving us has no fixed form and the way remember has no fixed form and away receive has no fixed form
therefore it can happen in every moment
but also there's no fixed form to remind us
people like to put
reminders around their house
that they can see how damn that's a form that reminds me
which is fine it does everything everything can but it's good to learn that everything does not justice not just the things you think are reminding you learn to read everything as remind you
have what you want to do
neymar you want to receive these teachings
and pass them on
and if no occasion whether or not be offered and there's no okay where you can receive them and know where you can practice them and no occasion where you can return the gift
so we're training at learning hotter on god
be able to be able to receive that
so i also mentioned before at the end of one of our songs the translation which we chat is sometimes if you can achieve continuity this is called the host was in host or the teacher within the teacher
for the reality within reality
but instead of saying if you can achieve continuity another way to say it is if you're able to receive
so this this reception or this inheritance
the inheritance often have to deal with continuity see one generation
inheriting from a previous generation so then that a continuity but it's actually also an inheritance so if we're able to inherit than there will be continuity a black cat came to visit
we should know there's a black cat in the house
and we should know that the black cat left the house at some point
to verify that the club had cat doesn't get trapped in the house and now the cat is going to present
cat wants to see what's going on here
keep the inheritance keep the succession going
and that is keeping that is that's what the teaching and put the heart of the teachers about is to keep it going through your effort of inheriting it inheriting it inheriting it

okay delfina i use the one who wants to have question and answer from them
the sub question and answer now gay or kuni
this is the goodness this is the buddha hall
yeah for you do know
for you point to the buddha in the hall
to tell the rest of the i was saying the city center luxury salaries forty minutes and so i want them to make it thirty minutes and then determine if human i did you like the buddha hall
thirty minutes is when people start moving i can hear it he can hear it and i think it's for a here to listen
so well it's so my i know i didn't really have a question it's okay comment comments or find so i we can have cna
the agree
disagree i feel like here early election was very intellectual and a bias added crystals and judgment until i was trying to feel the emotional response of
feeling this being completely me not me what's what's that feel like
what does being completely you feel like isn't yes when i'm doing what you were saying which is very difficult
it doesn't it it feels like what you're feeling that's what if your site but completely
so it's like
he maybe you feel maybe you sometimes can feel like you're not completely present can you ever feel like that
i guess so
like he might have a pain and not be completely present with it
or somebody might be talking to you and you might feel like
i'm not completely here i'm a little bit like wondering when this person's gonna like stop talking
yeah so i'm not really here for this person who's talking more than i wanna be here for so when that's happening and unaware of it i say could stay here you don't want to is that a me or is it in that might be who you are is that i'm going to stay here but i don't want to
so the camille of the moment is a camille who wishes to stay even though she doesn't want to
yeah and so i think i'm not necessarily going to get any merit out of this it's just this practice you're talking about that there's some still you might get some merit and then you know you have to do with that to various in heaven
marion heaven
would you could get the american come to you in a heavenly experience but the main point of merit is to free us from dwelling in heaven
or earth or any place else the merit of this practice is deliberate all beings including beings who are in heaven
but there is merit in being present and there is my ice i'm saying and there is merit and been present with a sense that you're not present
i wasn't really present in that moment i was a little bit shrinking back from that meeting or a little bit wondering when it was gonna be over i wasn't completely here
but now that i'm saying that i wasn't completely here i feel like i'm actually sang that more wholeheartedly
then the way i was a moment ago i feel i'm approaching being completely hair
i want to be completely here
and then here's his anyway if any of any kind of here whatever the here is
i hope when i'm depressed
i want to be complete the here
that's what i do
more great
probably do things and then i don't remember doing that i wasn't there but later i realized
that thing they're doing it now so and so when we put things some do i get to your giftee merits the demerits for for not being president not being aware that at present on
demerits well if you're not present
and and you and you become aware of it when you're not present it it does have the consequence often of
promoting not been present
so that's a kind of unfortunate consequence of being
i'm willing to be here he said it seems to promote more unwillingness to bear
which is a kind of unfortunate consequence
but if i noticed that i'm not will it be here now i'm here
i'm here to leave
no i did and it
chain it switched
yeah that i remember the feeling is
and then i just kept staring at the wall three out that window i felt what i'm trying to say i felt in my body that feeling that we're trying to put words to
so that's what i like that i could feel it
know what it is i don't know how to describe it but maybe you're describing it for me
it felt like
a reward that i couldn't foresee
and would not have stayed even if i could foresee it i wouldn't stayed i just stay focused because i committed to this thing
you have your idea he stayed because you committed so in a commitment in may be part of the reason your day but there's other reasons just stayed to besides the commitment for example the house did not burn down that also was a reason estate stay
there's many reasons why we
are we are
and we have stories about
how about how we got to be who we are and those stories are gonna keep happening but ah stories do not reach a reality of who we are who and what we are and how we are
but part of how we are is that we're storytellers about how we are we're storytellers about other people and that's another story
but that can keep going on

so that was a a cna yes

to send us
every time he started to tell stories about yourself
every will actually every time you tell a story

that's another story
so every time you tell a story if you then if can can everytime you tell stories that i'm not can tell a story the nessa that are frequently occur that would be a frequently encouraging story if you did it every time his door again
but you can also you can also say i am telling a story every time you tell a story
and you wouldn't end you'd maybe where that's another story
and then you might also tell a story called when i tell stories i wanna tell them wholeheartedly
when i tell a story i wanna tell that story
as completely as possible
i want that storytelling to be
completely that storytelling and again as a the principle is the most a story becomes that story the more it becomes not that story
so rather than trying to stop that story
which tends to go with dwelling in the story
i want to let that story be more and more that story in order to realize that that story is becoming not that story than without tampering with the story at all you don't tamper with it all you really let it be
more and more completely let it be he than you more and more let it become not itself and that's where liberation is realized
see our child changes to say here again
you would if you want liberation you don't try to change your stories you tried to be generous towards your stories
careful of your stores patient with your stories com with your stories and let them become the more they become themselves the more they become not themselves and that process is a pivot where bees are liberated from dwelling in their stories
if we tell the story half heartedly or try to change the story hoping that that will bring us liberation
or even not an liberation but just i'm to change his story to a better story
and then if i can do that and i'm a to just story to a better story this is this is a normal process ship for living bags is they're trying to me
control their stories or manipulate stories in order to help happier stories
an m
and if they're successful and have a happy stories they probably will become again more addicted to continuing to manipulate stories
if they're unsuccessful
that actually in an unsuccessful in in arriving at peace
their stories by manipulating they might say maybe the manipulation isn't working maybe i should switch from manipulation to generosity towards the stories which i would say yeah that's the path to freedom from dwelling in the stories

without changing the story at all
we can become free of it
but is not changing at all when you're right there with it and not changing at all
which applies the same not changing your identity at all not changing yourself at all not changing anything at all and yet working to let the thing be really more and more skillfully letting it be that that's an effort
which includes all kinds of dimensions of compassion
and again when we finally led to thing be completely itself than it is completely not itself and that's when the wisdom comes

rounding out
the story is drowning out things easy
in a way that even week emotions is like that cutting the commotion that week emotion is kind of drowning out all the not with emotion which is the whole universe besides the week motion
because it drown it out
in a way it does
what you're seeing is how everything makes this week emotion or how everything makes this strong emotion that's it you're seeing
but you're looking at what made rather than what makes it and you can't see what makes it
and you never will
a mere fact yeah toss up there but if you let the strict week emotion which is actually overwhelming everything that's supporting it for the strong emotion which is overwhelming
then you realize freedom from this week or strong emotion
and that way you will that practice will

the more you open to the week emotion the more you realize it's non dwelling
and the same for strong emotions and there isn't i both are challenging to wholeheartedly let them be
but there's a proposal that is possible to learn this
and the pack of learning it will usually involve many cases of where you kind of feel like you didn't really let it be whatever it was
and and where you feel somewhat stuck in it or vice versa you feel somewhat stuck in it and then you notice well actually i'm not completely letting it be
and i'm also not really letting being stuck be
so that would make sense and i'm feeling stuck since i'm not really allow myself to be stuck and then there's like i think there was a total allowing a big stock and i feel like that there was not been stuck right at the same time
but i can't see not being stuck
and i can't see being stuck because now yes

is the effort towards effortlessness
letting it be
it takes a lot of effort
there's a pivot so if there's if there's not effort then you have to make an effort to let not effort be like if you are lazy
if you made it a lot of effort with being lazy than lazy would just be lazy but to realize lazy is just lazy takes a lot of kindness
and not just by me but everybody's gotta help me be kind to my laziness
and everybody when i'm lazy
everybody is helping me be kind to my laziness
and i have to learn to appreciate that and let my laziness be laziness then i realized not laziness
so there you have to have effort to realize that effort is not effort or you have to be apropos to realize that being lazy he has being not lazy
seems like good news to me we are effortful so it's not we get to do something that you're not already doing you just have to wake up to that you are an effort for creature we are effort for creatures
like cooking all day long we are like alive we are effortful
when it's cold outside were warm when it's warm outside were cooler than the we have a cooling system
to keep us from getting too hot we have a warming season to keep it from getting too cold we are like every phone
has come a joining what we are and everything that we are is made by everything that we're not
sorry effort and are not effort i made but including and being pervaded by everything

we are nonstop
effort folk bag
and right now
you look like your effort for beings you don't look lazy
but you could look lazy and that would be
another kind of effort you'd be making which i'd say while the real
they're putting a lot of energy into looking lazy
right now you're not doing that maybe later you'll show me you'll make an effort and show me laziness and then i get to like let you be lazy
and if i can let you be lazy then will be liberated from being lazy and also liberated from big effort effortful
because we're already ever photo were not liberated
unless we appreciate that
an appreciating means let it be
don't try to turn down the effort or turn up the africa
try to let the effort be more complete

i'm said
did you take all just experience no i'm not taking because i would say let judgment
beacon politically judgment that's what i would say don't don't like try to don't be driven by the judgment or i sure don't know i've noted i'm not talking about being driven by judgment if you're being driven by judgment or case and i would say let being driven by judgment become more and more
driven by judgment and you will realize that will be a realization of not driven by judgment
usually when word when were involved in judgment we do it heartedly so that it pushes us around we dwell on it
if i haven't judgment of you or somebody else for myself and i completely let it be i won't dwell on it and that not dwelling is what liberate us from judgment without tampering with the judgment judgment still cylinder nice and bright the treadmill their this is good this is not good
there's a judgment i don't mess with it i use it as opportunity to have liberation now we have liberation together with a judgment we can use it or not we can say i don't need that judgment he might have something else to offer say or we can say i haven't judgment to offer here's the judgment
this liberation it's not like i'm hooked on it and yet there it is how you doing reb i got a job
want to hear about it no thank you okay
but i'm not suffering from the judgment anymore because i let it be completely but if i don't wear my judgment be free i will i will be enslaved by them
so even with sweet judgments like darling adorable whatever you know some very nice but if i don't let that darling adorable be wholehearted then i'm gonna dwell on it and i won't realize not darling
so we're not trying to get rid of judgments it just when they come we're talking about relating to them in such a way as to realize liberation with them or buy them yeah

i would say that everything that arises is an opportunity for liberation
and it's nature
is that it is pervaded by everything and pervaded by pervading everything and that nature that it has is sitting there ready to be realized so everything is offering on a realizing nature a liberal
dating nature
this was
it's also do say aggression aggression reputation whatever it is if it's doubt if if if if if if it's dealt with and responded to with compassion
it will lead to an opportunity of liberation from that liberation from aggression which lot of people feel like it's liberating from regression such aggression sounds like a really good thing and i agree
and liberation from aggression and offers the opportunity for some other kind of offering
without tampering with the regression at all
but the aggression may need some some month
a compassionate lessons
even though the person responded to it with compassion the aggression may not have no have have listened to the compassion
but the competitive question actually got liberated
from the wisdom about the nature of aggression
and then it may offer itself again for another installment of liberation
until you may say well oh it's not it's actually what mostly what's going on now is not liberation the not liberation is now when caught in the light
but we didn't change deliberately the to judge not an aberration the non aggression is now in the light and the aggression is now in the dark but we didn't make the aggression go away because not aggression would you let that be it it will become aggression he will say well
items on good
but it's not good or bad it's it's the process of liberation it it makes peace with the with the aggression it's not like eliminating it it's it's always there with with non aggression aggression is always there
in the background there's no aggression without non aggression and vice versa their ones in the foreground ones in the background appreciating that is the process of liberating people from aggression and non-aggression are not a christian is the process of liberation
that we're trying to develop here because out for the peace guns and that's where the freedom to for compassionate responses to everything
louder please is that
the pivot is where the pieces this is the this is a buddhas are at peace and they live in the pivot they live in the pivot between aggression and non-russian of course they're not aggressive but they don't abide a non-aggression either they teach non aggression they said you know do not
eight do not be aggressive they teach that but they teach that is a way to let aggression be aggression and realize non aggression so you do you do what you think is non-aggression in order to let aggression the aggression and also to let non a non-aggression be non agree
she wanted the book both of be but as the pivot that's liberating and that's where the pieces living
yes he said this needlepoint hanging on the wall that said home is where the heart is and when you said the periods where the pieces i just pictured it in needlepoint
i can't explain
the pivot is where the pieces the pieces were the pivot is
if we don't care it
we disturb the peace
if you can you resist a pivot it creates some disturbance
this is
yes yeah
samsara and nirvana or another pivot
which the buddhist are living in a in a pivot of samsara and nirvana would as are living in nirvana and linens in some sort but as are in some samsara
and they are pivoting there to show people samsara hotter pivot with sums are not to run away from it not to sink into it but be with it in such a way that you realize that when some and for grown nirvana's in the background
but you know samsara explicitly and you know nirvana implicitly
if you are
totally let some srv samsara you will know nirvana explicitly and samsara implicitly
but you don't want to go hallway over to nirvana and forget about times are
and in the bodhisattva path we do not want to abandon some sour and just go over to nirvana but we don't because the teaching says
if you've got nirvana samsara is right there it's not as least bit different but one can be in the foreground while the others in the background
there the pivot
you can't abide in either
but we have to practice to realize that we can't abide in either
sophie feet again if you feel like you're abiding in samsara
then like that be like that feeling be
completely and you'll find that you're not abiding and center
with crying be disrupted
nothing disrupts the period
nothing disrupts the activity of buddhists
but if you're crime wholeheartedly you will realize that nothing's disturbing the pivot if you cry halfheartedly you may feel like the to pivots being disturbed and it when we act halfheartedly were turning away from
our wholeheartedness we are wholehearted beads we don't want to become wholehearted bags we have to realize our wholeheartedness so we practice being wholehearted to realize that were hard
and if and we cry we he would be good to cry wholeheartedly in other words the more crying is itself the more realizes not crying
and you can not trying isn't better than crying the same would be if anybody here isn't crime good that's fine if you would become completely not trying you realize not not crime which is also sometimes called crime
but you might not start crying you to realize it
you realize what the pivot
so those of us who are crying in this way will become free of crying and those
we're not trying will not be stuck at not try so you don't have to likes when you're not trying it don't like and start crying and are to be human
humans sometimes don't cry in there really alive
puma's do cry sometimes in there really alive
talking about being really alive and somehow humans have to make an effort to be alive because the effort for
it's not it's not something in addition to the way we are
we are like every fuck
even when we're asleep
even more lazy like lazy teenagers are very effortful gala juice flowing through the lazy bodies
a new tattoo when you'll find out
mess with a mess with their laziness you find out on energy there

a part of me wants to talk overtime today since i was away but it's other part of me doesn't want to keep you too long
but just know that i'm happy to keep talking for quite a bit longer if you want
but also i'm like ago because we promised you could go
not do it
name's is a lost
the we usually do it
but somehow it didn't happen today
max max angela
the charlie side
my jordan journey
curse care
hi or
here pdf
ha ha ha ha
raleigh korea john john j j li the
the robin

i am
when lorry like karen and
ramp well thank you
thank you
everybody can
the surname
please remind me next time of africa
thank you very much