Well, we have a practice period starting in a sense now. Quite a few people have come to Green Gulch for a period of practice which is somewhat intensified over the usual... well, intensified in certain formal aspects. In a lot of ways, the practice period is less intense than ordinary work at Green Gulch. But in terms of certain scheduled events, there's more of them during practice period. There's some tradition in the lineage of the founder of Zen Center, Suzuki Roshi, and

[01:05]

Dogen, his ancestor, and now here today among us. There's some tradition of basically trying to devote every action of body, speech and thought to the expression of Buddha's wisdom and compassion. So there's a basic suggestion that upon, at the occasion of any action, that we devote that action to the expression of wisdom and compassion. And I like the word express because express means to say or declare, but it also means

[02:11]

to manifest or embody, or to put out or to ground. And saying this to you, I'm thinking about saying this to you, I have the experience that it's easy to, as an action of thought arises or as words are expressed or thoughts arise or postures arise, it's easy to forget, it's easy not to be mindful that these words

[03:11]

and these gestures and this thought are devoted to the expression of Buddha's wisdom and compassion. Easy to forget and when you remember, however, it's not so hard to remember, it's just easy to forget. It isn't a lot of work to think about how are these words, how are these words, how is this posture expressing Buddha's compassion, or I would like these words to express Buddha's compassion. I devote these words to express Buddha's compassion, it's not so much that my words are Buddha's compassion but that my words can be devoted, I can say, I give my words for the manifestation, for the expression of Buddha's compassion. May my words be so, and I wonder how my words might be so.

[04:17]

So many old-time Buddhists say, if you wish to practice the way, whatever practice you're doing, first of all, arouse the mind of great compassion. Think about that, remember that, consider that, and weave that concern together with whatever is happening. And we have this precept, among our 16 Bodhisattva precepts, we have the first three precepts are taking refuge in the triple treasure, and the next three are called the three actually cumulative pure precepts, and the first one is the one that I think I'd like to mention

[05:30]

tonight and that is the precept of embracing and sustaining regulations and ceremonies. In a sense then, this precept, which is a precept for Bodhisattvas, which both lay people and priests, or both lay people and monks, in the Soto Zen Bodhisattva tradition, both lay people and monks receive and practice this precept of embracing and sustaining ceremonies and regulations. And I was going to say, well, what's the point of these regulations and ceremonies? Well, since I said it, I guess I'll just take credit for having said it.

[06:36]

What's the point of these regulations and ceremonies? And oftentimes, for years, when people ask, my first answer has been, the point of these regulations and ceremonies in our practice, these forms and ceremonies in our practice, is to surface, flesh out, bring any kind of view of self, view of independent self that we have about ourselves or other people, so the purpose of these forms and ceremonies is to get any view of self out in front where you can see it, your own view of self, where you can see it. And it turns out that oftentimes it also flushes your view of self out where other people can see it, although it's not primarily for them to catch you at it, sometimes they just happen to, it looks like that's the case, and sometimes actually it might be revealed

[07:38]

to them before it is to you, but maybe in both cases inwardly and interpersonally, intra-psychically and interpersonally, our view of self becomes revealed. Our view that we exist separately becomes exposed. And then not only the view of self can get exposed, but our belief in it can get exposed. And then not only our belief to it, which is similar to the following thing, but our clinging to self. So self-view, self-assent to this independent self and clinging to the independent self, it all can be revealed. And the basic principle here is that if this self-concern, this self-view, this self-cherishing

[08:42]

can be exposed, can be brought out in front, that exposure can liberate us from that view. And actually almost anything that can be exposed in this way, the exposure can liberate us. So first of all, in a sense, these precepts, this first precept is to show us our self-view, our self-clinging, our self-concern, and then liberate us from it. So actually the main point is that we become liberated from self-concern, that we realize selflessness, but it turns out we have to see selfishness usually before we realize selflessness. Realizing that we're selfish is not the main point of Buddhism, we've become free of it, but the former is entailed in the latter, if any of you can remember what the former was.

[09:51]

So another way to say it is that this first pure precept is to realize selflessness, is to realize emptiness, which is the Bodhisattva's realization. Another way to say it is that this first pure precept is to realize the Dharma body, the truth body, or the true body of the Buddha. The true body of the Buddha is selflessness, which has compassion in its heart. Another way to say it is that the point of this first pure precept is to realize intimacy. And I propose to you that the source, the spiritual source of Soto Zen, the spiritual

[11:02]

duality of the unenlightened beings and the enlightened beings, it also includes the non-duality of the unenlightened beings, but I think some people may not feel intimate with the other enlightened beings, but I think we can see that we're related, but sometimes people feel like we're really different from the Buddhas, which is true, but we're non-dual with them, we're intimate with them. So the intimacy is already the state of affairs, and that intimacy is our spiritual source of our practice. So this first pure precept in particular I emphasize tonight is to realize that intimacy between living beings and Buddhas. So we have regulations and ceremonies that are a little bit different, and in the Chinese

[12:21]

expression for this precept they use a term for regulation or laws, and they use a term for ceremonies or rituals, so it's two together. But they're also kind of very closely related. So I just thought I might mention to you, since some of you probably already know this, but I just thought I might list a few of the forms and ceremonies that we practice, both during practice period and also not during practice period, but during practice period they can be intensified, because the people in practice period do less kind of manual labor and a little bit less work than during ordinary Green Gulch time or Zen center time, a little bit more time for paying attention to these regulations and ceremonies. The ceremony that I came to Zen center to practice, which I didn't think of it as a ceremony

[13:27]

when I came, but the basic, the central ceremony of Soto Zen is sitting. It's actually a ceremony that we practice in a ceremonial hall for the purpose of that ceremony. Scholars don't seem to emphasize this, I don't know the reason, but anyway, they often translate the basic text that Dogen wrote on the practice of sitting meditation as the general or universal encouragements for the practice of sitting meditation. They forget to translate one of the words in that title, fukan za zengi, the gi, they often don't mention the word gi, which means ceremony. They don't very often translate it as ceremony. Universal encouragement for the ceremony of sitting meditation. But anyway, we do this ceremony and just about everybody here does that ceremony quite

[14:35]

frequently as a certain ceremonial form. The form of the ceremony does not, however, reach the principle of the practice, but in order to reach the principle of the practice we must have a form. In other words, the form of the practice of Buddha sitting is not reached, no, the principle or the truth of the practice of Buddha sitting or sitting Buddha is not reached by the form of Buddha, but without the form of Buddha sitting there's no sitting Buddha. So we have to work with that in our practice, but anyway, the form is part of realizing the selflessness of the form of the sitting Buddha. That's the main, one in a sense, the main ceremony of Soto Zen.

[15:37]

Then we also have bowing, and we have full bows, or some people even say that they're not full bows, but anyway, we have prostration bows and we have standing bows. And we do prostrations to each other and to the Buddhas and Bodhisattvas, and we do standing bows to each other, and sometimes to Buddhas and Bodhisattvas. We also have many kinds of offerings we do, which you may or may not notice, but there's quite a bit of it going on here. Some forms of the Buddhist tradition do more offerings than us, I think, with more detail and elaborateness and so on, but we do actually quite a bit of offerings here, and we have particular ways of doing it, which have been transmitted to us by previous generations,

[16:42]

and we're doing our present understanding of that transmission, plus also understanding that we change some of the styles of offering, but we do lots of offerings, incense, food, and so on, and also the bows are offerings, and the sitting is an offering. We also practice confession and repentance. When I first came to Zen Center, we did not have that practice of confession and repentance, but then after quite a few years, we started practicing the monthly, or the bi-monthly confession and repentance ceremony, which some people say is the first Buddhist ceremony, but anyway, it's maybe the first elaborate Buddhist ceremony, because I would suggest to you that when monks and nuns practiced sitting meditation in the presence of the Buddha, they were doing a ceremony back then too. But compared to, again, the complexity of the ceremonial opportunities of the Indian

[17:50]

subcontinent, Buddhism actually was originally a simplification. The Buddhist tradition didn't have as much ceremony as the Vimanakal did, but one complex ceremony they kept was the monthly, bi-monthly confession and repentance ceremony, which has been continued in Soto Zen and other both Theravada and Mahayana traditions. And we do this confession and repentance, now we do it on a monthly basis, we have sometimes done it on a bi-monthly basis at Zen Center, we also do it now on a daily basis, which again, this was not done at the beginning of Zen Center, and actually wasn't done for several years after we started to do the monthly one, but now we do it pretty much every day throughout Zen Center. And there's also what you might call constant confession and repentance, moment-by-moment confession and repentance, where you don't, yeah, that constant one, the one, oh, oh,

[18:56]

noticing that and repenting constantly, every little moment of inattention, or every moment where you miss the opportunity of expressing Buddha's wisdom and compassion through this vocal action, through this physical posture, and through this thought. So every time we miss this opportunity to express Buddha's compassion, or every time I should say that the opportunity of realizing the expression of Buddha's compassion through body, speech and mind occurs, then there's an opportunity to express Buddha's compassion by confessing that you missed expressing Buddha's compassion. So that's the kind of constant version, which is also practiced by some people, sometimes constantly. Then there is dokusan, formal dokusan, there's formal meals, and then there's again many

[19:59]

kind of more elaborate ceremonies like what we call tokudo, which literally means attaining liberation, and it's the name for our precept initiation ceremonies. We have precept initiation ceremonies several times a year here. Then there's funerals, memorial services, there's ceremonies of actually making offerings and other things, which we're going to do in a couple of weeks, called seijiki, where we do a formal ceremony for spirits who need our ceremonial assistance. We have weddings, and in some sense, although I've retired from doing weddings, in some sense they're really cool, because in some sense weddings are really like the whole point of being a bodhisattva is to realize the wedding of all beings.

[20:59]

The ceremonies are to realize the wedding among all living beings, and the wedding of living beings and Buddhas. The thing about weddings though is they look like they're kind of concentrating on two people, but really in some sense our practice is one big ceremonial wedding with everybody, everybody, even certain political candidates. Another ceremony which we do during practice period, which we don't do otherwise, is we do what's called nenju, where we ceremonially recognize each other, and in some sense ceremonially enact, by saying the names of all the Buddhas, and then we circulate the names of all the Buddhas with all the beings in the practice period, as a symbol of the integration of

[22:05]

Buddhas, and in some sense we do this nenju circulation practice, this recitation and enactment ceremony once a week. We also have tanga ryo, tanga means itinerant monk, and ryo means room, so traditionally in training centers they'd have a room, a tanga room, for people who are like traveling and were either just coming through and just visiting the monastery for a little while or wishing to maybe check out the monastery and perhaps settle down a little bit and see if they want to matriculate into the community, and they'd have this room they'd sit in, and if they sat there long enough, usually they would be allowed to enter. So we do that now tomorrow, have a day for some new people to consider whether they would

[23:11]

like to do the practice period. If you don't like tanga ryo, you can leave. But if you leave, you don't get to be in the practice period. But if you really change your mind after you leave and want to come back, you can do another day. So that's another ceremony we do. Another ceremony we do is we have entering ceremonies and departing ceremonies. We also have a regulation which is also kind of a ceremony called being on time. It usually isn't considered an ethical precept, so it's somewhere between a regulation and a ceremony, a ceremony of being on time. And it's a good one for revealing self. And also it's a good one for realizing selflessness.

[24:13]

Actually, really a good one. So simple. I have some stories about being on time. Yeah, I have some stories. I have 8 million stories about being on time. One of them is sometimes when I come to the zendo, when I'm the doshi, meeting the meditation or whatever, particularly during sashins, when there's a lot of people in the zendo, sometimes I come to the zendo and I come to the entryway of the zendo here, or tasahara. Tasahara is a little different because the tasahara, if the people are late, they're in the back, in the back of the zendo. So I don't see this mass back there necessarily when I first arrive. I see it later. They're allowed to come in later. And sometimes there's such a big mass back there that it's hard to get by as I walk around the room. But at Green Gulch, we don't do it quite that way.

[25:17]

We have the people, they're actually in the entryway, so the doshi actually walks through the people who are late. So during sashins sometimes there's this large group of people outside the meditation hall who didn't get in there before the door was closed. And there's a person there who kind of guards the door so they can't get in. So anyway, sometimes there's this big mass of people and the doshi gets to say hi. What are you guys doing out here? How is it? Anyway, the doshi usually just walks by. One morning during a sashin, I don't know if I said anything or not. I think I might have said something like, you know, how wonderful it is to practice being on time or something. I might have mentioned something like that. And the next day I came and the entryway was like there was nobody there. It was like just this big spacious area, you know. Nobody. The zendo was packed with people.

[26:20]

And you know, I kind of enjoyed the experience. It was so unusual and really interesting. And then I mentioned it later in the day during the lecture. I said, that was amazing. Everybody was on time this morning. I kind of enjoyed it. And then later someone really got furious that I enjoyed it. Because they felt like I was like, you know. I guess, you know, the implication was all those other days when the people were like out there, you know, not being on time, that actually I didn't really appreciate them when they weren't out there being late. And it was kind of like very oppressive that I felt that way. So I thought that was very interesting. One of the first times, I think, early in my practice, I said to Suzuki Roshi, what is right effort? And he said, to get up when the alarm clock rings with no hesitation.

[27:28]

And, you know, that's just a very nice instruction. It's kind of a ceremony, but it's also kind of a regulation. To like, when the alarm clock rings, is there a little bit of hesitation there? Or even more than a little bit? Like, ding, hello, here we go. What's happening? Time to get up again. Wow. I'm alive. No, kind of like just maybe a little bit. Okay, I hear it. So it continues to be, over the years, an interesting instruction, which sometimes it's like there have been moments when there was no hesitation. But then even after that, there were moments when there was some hesitation. And one time I was doing a training session in Minnesota. I was Abbot of Zen Center.

[28:34]

Maybe I wasn't, but I think I was Abbot of Zen Center. But I still went to Minnesota to do a training with a visiting teacher named Narasaki Ikko Roshi. And I had a tent that I was staying in, which was not too far from the Zen Do. And so I went to Zazen, and I noticed that the visiting teacher always beat me to the Zen Do. And he was like pretty old and frail, but he was always there before me. And I was kind of surprised that he got there before me. He wasn't the Abbot of the place, he was a visiting teacher. And he just went and gave the talks, but he didn't lead the services, so he went with the other monks. And then one morning, or one day, anyway, for one of the periods of meditation,

[29:37]

I was in my tent, and I was looking out of the tent, and the bell rang for the meditation. And I could see where he was staying, he was staying in the house, sort of across the meadow from where I was. The bell rang, and when the bell rang, he just popped out like a little cuckoo out of a clock. He just popped out of his house. Bing, pop! Not real fast, just like, Bing, pop! Just he was there, you know. And like maybe his Jishi said, OK, now get ready, Roshi. Get over by the door, because the bell is going to ring. And then the bell rang, OK, now go, Roshi. And then he would walk kind of slowly, you know, because he was kind of old and frail. He would walk slowly from his house, and he would get to the Zendo. And if I would also, when the bell rang, if I would also pop out of my tent,

[30:38]

I would beat him, because I was younger and faster. I wasn't that much farther either, but I could easily beat him there if I would just pop out of there. But I noticed actually, then I sort of watched, and I noticed that when the bell rang, I didn't just pop out of my tent, I had some other things to do. And they weren't that important, but I kind of wanted to do them. Rather than just pop, Bing, pop! So then I decided, OK, I'll practice popping out when the bell rings too. So when the bell rang, we both popped. And then I was in Zendo before him. But the thing was, there was no hesitation with the bell on him. He trained himself over the years to work on that. And, you know, it can be fun for a while, like Bing, pop! But then after a while that can maybe get old. Like, yeah, that's, yes, I know about going when the bell rings. But actually I have, just I wanted to put a few more stamps in some of my correspondence.

[31:42]

Or just brush my teeth a little bit more. Or, you know, do a couple more stretches. Or finish this paragraph. And you can do that and, you know, not notice that there's any kind of like view of self around that. But sometimes you kind of like notice, oh my God! There it is, like me finishing another paragraph. That's going to really help the world. Rather than, well, how can I express Buddha's wisdom and compassion when that bell rings? Bing? Oh, another big practice.

[32:44]

It's not exactly a regular, sometimes it's a regulation. But sometimes it's not a regulation. Sometimes it's just a ceremony. And I've just lately been calling it being bilateral. In particular being bilateral in a student-teacher relationship. But also being bilateral with just the people you're practicing some form and ceremony with. In other words, learn to see your activity as not unilateral. Learn to think about your activity as bilateral. Learn how to talk about your activity as bilateral. Learn how to physically act like it's bilateral. And again, I didn't make this up all by myself. It was, I arrived at this bilateral thing bilaterally. And Suzuki Roshi didn't articulate this to me, you know, as a principle.

[33:57]

He just demonstrated it every now and then. For example, when I was the Ino in the city center in 1970, also I was the director, so I could assign myself my room. And I assigned myself a room next to his. So when he went places, unless he used the fire escape, he had to go by my room. And so he walked by my room when he'd go in and out of the building, walked by my room to go to his room. And I would leave my door open so I could catch him, so he could catch me. With my room, the door wasn't open all the time, but I would often leave my door open when I was doing something I thought was good. So he could, if he wanted to, he could notice, oh, good. But also I wanted to just see him and other people, so I'd have my door open.

[35:03]

And so he would go by and he would stop and say things to me sometimes. And one time, I remember, he went by my room and he stuck his head in the door and he said, he said, I'm thinking I'm going out to the movies tonight. These people invited me and I feel like I should go with them. And I said, how was the Eno? And I said, okay. But I did think, here's my teacher sort of checking in with me about going out. He didn't just not talk to me and he didn't really exactly tell me what to say. He was a little bit almost asking me for my permission, for him, for the Master to go out, from the young Eno. And, yeah. And that wasn't the only time he did that.

[36:06]

And I don't know, you know, and so that was part of our culture, you know, and still is. I just, I mentioned to somebody, I don't know why I said, I just said to somebody recently, I remember that on December 10th, 1968, I went to his office at Sokoji Temple over in Japantown and I asked him if I could go to Tassajara. And he said, okay, but you should ask them. He meant the Zen Center offices. I said, I already did. He said, okay. And then, one time I was at Tassajara when I was at Abbott, and this teacher I just told you about, Narasaki Ikko Roshi, actually after that retreat that we did in Minnesota,

[37:10]

where I watched how he got to be on time, then I came back with him to San Francisco Zen Center and went down to Tassajara with him and his attendant. And, I'm not sure if I went down to Tassajara with him, but anyway, he came down to Tassajara and it was during practice period that I was leaving, and he was visiting, he wanted to see Tassajara, and his attendant came to me and said, he said, Roshi's tired, but if you don't tell him not to sit Zazen, not to go to meditation tonight, he'll go, and he's kind of tired, he'd be better if he rested. So then, a little while later, he walked by where I was standing, and I said, excuse me, Roshi, please don't go to Zazen tonight, please rest. And he said, thank you very much, in Japanese, and trotted off to bed. But again, I thought that was interesting that he

[38:13]

wouldn't just decide by himself, but, and also, I needed to be tipped off to that, I needed to offer it to him, otherwise, I wouldn't have known that he would go even if he was tired. But he would also maybe expect that I would be sensitive to his situation and offer him rest if he needed it, and he did want it, and he did rest. So, being bilateral about what we're doing is another either ceremony or regulation which promotes, which actually surfaces, surfaces the self-view, because sometimes people think, well, I don't have to talk to people about that. Well, I mean, really, it can be what we call infantilizing, right? To go talk to the Ino or the Tanto or the whatever about what you're doing,

[39:14]

and have them give you permission to go to the bathroom, or whatever, right? But again, my background was that it's maybe infantilizing, but the masters are infantilized too, because the masters check out with the kids, to some extent. So, it's bilateral infantilization. Everybody becomes kids, in a way, and everybody becomes adults. But there is this danger of infantilizing, I suppose, but anyway, it's part of the thing to just try to visualize that and notice that actually this kind of practice will surface the unilateral approach to life, which is, again, self-centered. I'm going to do it by myself, approach to life. I can do things by my own power, approach to life. I don't need to talk to anybody else, approach to life. That thing of being bilateral

[40:19]

will surface your unilateral beliefs, your belief in being a unilateral being, a one-sided being. It surfaces that, and then the more it gets exposed, every time it gets exposed, there's one more, you could say, one more nail in the coffin of self-centeredness. But also, there's also opportunities to pull the nails out later. So, there's a process of pulling, you know, releasing, letting the selfish person get back into action and disempowering the selfish person. It's a kind of a struggle, you may have noticed. But there's another, in form, which is available to work on, and again, I would suggest developing that form bilaterally. In other words, don't force it on somebody else, don't force somebody else to be bilateral with you, and don't let somebody else force being bilateral on you,

[41:21]

because that's not being bilateral. Don't make a unilateral establishment of being bilateral. Create it together, I would suggest. Could you be bilateral with me? Perfect. That was truly bilateral, I was just like... And one more tidbit I wanted to bring up is that in... I don't exactly want to say in the early Buddhism, in Mahayana, but in a way, that's not necessarily put that way, but although sometimes it's put that way, that one approach to these regulations and ceremonies, particularly the regulations, is to think of them

[42:21]

as programs by which practitioners, both monk and lay, can develop into enlightened beings. That's one way to look at these things, as ways that you can develop into enlightened beings. Another way is to think of them as guidelines for Buddhas, for enlightened beings, to express their nature. And that's more... that's more... I think Soto Zen way is that these forms are ways for enlightened beings to be expressed and realized, rather than by doing these forms, somebody is going to become some enlightened person. It's to realize our intimacy and express it, not to... not to make intimacy, not to make the intimacy, that's already the case. Well, one other thing...

[43:35]

another thing which I... another form or ceremony is chanting. And we chant... we chant scriptures and we also chant vows. We chant... we chant vows and we also... yeah, we chant vows. You can chant general vows like living beings, sentient beings, are numberless, I vow to save, I vow to save them. Delusions are inexhaustible, I vow to end them. Dharma gates or, you know, the Buddha Dharma is inexhaustible, I vow to enter it. And the Buddha way is unsurpassable, I vow to realize it. These are general vows. Then there can be specific vows too. Like... Now, as I get up in the morning, may I, together with all beings, get over all resistance to getting up. Now, as I offer incense

[44:39]

to the Buddhas, or now as I bow to Buddha, may I, together with all beings, realize that the nature of the one bowing and the nature of the one bowed to are the same. And that this body and the Buddha's body are not two. May I plunge into this non-duality with this vow. And there are already written verses for almost every activity that a monk would go through in the fourth century A.D. But you can write new verses for everything you do. You can basically feel like you want to manifest, together with all beings, the Buddha way. But you can also stylize particular things for washing your face, brushing your teeth, using the toilet, getting up in the morning, going to bed at night. So practice periods of time to like maybe either with your basic spirit

[45:41]

do things that way, but also sometimes the language of speaking of the actual act and doing the act. There are different things that monks do. And now we're doing things which monks didn't used to do, like they didn't have cars, so now when you drive cars you can make vows, you know. And you pick up telephones and use the computer. All these things you can make actually say vows when you start and finish and during these activities. So that's something you can maybe develop that habit or that practice during practice periods. And so that's something you might help you do if you want to. Is there anything else you'd like to bring up? Are the windows open enough? Yes.

[47:02]

Going once. Going twice. Yes. Thanks for standing up. Just an example of waking up. Yes. It seems like that moment when you just enter consciousness. Can you speak up a little bit, please? Sorry, yeah, a little bit. That moment when you just enter consciousness, when you exit the sleep and start to wake up, is a moment where maybe natural defenses, psychological defenses, aren't there. And maybe the heart of some of your issues is present and that may be a part of why it can be difficult to wake up. Yeah. Does

[48:05]

just having the intention of wanting to wake up deal with that? Deal with what? Those underlying causes that may be making it difficult for you to... I mean, waking up is just one way to talk about it, but does just having that intention of wanting to be free from it, is that enough to deal with it? I don't think so. I think if you just had the intention to be free of it, but you don't actually get up, that wouldn't be enough. So, having the intention to be free of it, and then when the alarm goes off, just to sort of like go back to sleep, then you might not actually notice... Will you just keep standing up a little longer? You might... So, you start to get up

[49:06]

and then these underlying or all these other complexities that come up, like it's like you in a belt and getting up, going to the meditation hall, that's pretty simple, but then all this other stuff comes up. If you go back to sleep, then all this stuff just sort of like goes back and sits behind your back again. But if you get up, then the stuff starts... you know, you get to see it for a little while. It may disappear as you start getting active, but I think the getting up and going, you get to see that stuff. You get to see the resistances and the self-clinging and the self-concern and what's going to happen to me kind of approach to life. It gets put right out there for a little while and that freshness of the morning life. And again, it may recede as you start moving. If you could actually just sit up and not fall back asleep, you know, and not... not use activity to keep yourself from falling back asleep and just face that resistance, that would be actually excellent. But it's pretty hard to face it right on like that

[50:09]

and not go back to sleep. Usually you have to get up and start moving a little bit and then it starts to recede. But, you know, it can come back again when you get resentful. So anyway, I think the point is to get it out there where you can see it. And the more you... basically, the more you become aware of this, that's what does it. But the intention to be free is key, but you have to put it to the test. You have to express it, you have to manifest it. And in the process of manifesting the resistances come and you get to see what they are and that's what you have to... that's what you naturally become free of as you see them. How does it go? The breeze at dawn has secrets to tell you. It's a very important moment, that first waking up time. It's just wonderful.

[51:10]

The breeze at dawn has secrets to tell you. Don't go back to sleep. You have to say what you really want. That's a good time to say it. Don't go back to sleep. People are walking back and forth at the threshold where the two worlds meet. The door is round and open. Don't go back to sleep. Anything else? Yes. What I understood that you just said as you were ending your explanation was that when the resistances come up they naturally fall away without you having to do anything. That's what I understood.

[52:11]

Or my question is is it more important just to be able to see the resistances and feel them and understand them and be with them without trying to manipulate anything? Yes. Or without trying to cut them out? Yes. However, when you said, I think you said something about be with them? Yes. Being with them means if you say be with them then I would stress be with them. In other words, be with them thoroughly. And if you're with them thoroughly you will not mess with them. So, being with them thoroughly means being with them thoroughly means like getting totally undistracted from clearly seeing them. You're not doing anything to them but if you clearly see them you will see that they drop away.

[53:12]

You will see that they're not real. You're not really... We're not really resisting our life. We seem to be resisting our life and we're attracted... I was attracted to Zen because of stories of people who didn't resist their life. But another way to say this is that those who are resisting life and those who are not resisting life are non-dual. We're not really separate from the non-resistance to our life. The resistance to our life is an illusion but it is there. And if you can truly face this resistance and not manipulate it... I shouldn't say not and. When you truly face it you don't manipulate it. When you face it and don't manipulate it you're thoroughly facing it. And part of thoroughly facing it is to confess it. If you say, Oh yeah, I saw some resistance the other day and you think... So I faced it.

[54:12]

And someone might say, Oh, thanks for telling me. Well, tell me about what it was like. And you tell them and they say, Gee, it doesn't sound like resistance to me. And then you realize that you just told them half the story. And then you tell them the other half and you say, Oh my God. Wow, that's really strong resistance. But unless you get it out where you can see it and then also be able to tell somebody else, This is my resistance. And then you say, Oh really? What about this? Oh, sorry, I didn't mention that. So it's to thoroughly, fully recognize your resistance which you need to do with somebody else, by the way. Only a Buddha and a Buddha can thoroughly see the resistance. And when you thoroughly see it you realize it's not resistance. It's really actually freedom. So, yes, just see it truly, completely with no resistance to this resistance

[55:14]

and you'll see a resistance is not really there. We actually are alive. We're not actually shrinking back from life. It just looks like that. But if you look carefully, you'll see. No, it's not true. We're actually not fighting our life. And the appearance of shrinking back from our life and the not shrinking back from our life are not two. They're not separate. But we have to see the shrinking and learn to look at the shrinking really clearly and uprightly and balanced and fearlessly. Here's another important sound bite. Nonviolence depends on fearlessness. If you're afraid of your resistances, if you're afraid of your shrinking back from life, if you're afraid of your shortcomings, you'll be violent to them. Not always, but... You won't be able to be truly nonviolent with your experience if you're afraid of it.

[56:14]

So we have to learn to be not afraid of our appearance of shrinking back from life. Then we can meet it and become free of believing that we're only half alive, which means truly facing it. But confession and repentance seems to be necessary for Buddhas in order to realize Buddha. So Buddhas practice confession and repentance of their shortcomings, of coming up short and seeing the shortcomings and becoming free of them. But not by trying to get rid of them, not by being violent. Really respecting them. Give them your whole attention and then we'll become free. We will become free. That it? For tonight? Yes?

[57:20]

One thing that you said when you were answering the previous question, and you seemed to kind of split in there, is the thing about how it requires two Buddhas to thoroughly see your distance. Yeah. Would you be willing to say more about why that is? Well, this is just a... I'm just kidding when I say this, okay? But it's one of my favorite jokes. Because the Lotus Sutra says so. The Lotus Sutra says only a Buddha, together with a Buddha, can thoroughly, can exhaustively understand and realize the Dharma. One Buddha alone does not do it. Because there is not one Buddha alone. There's not a Buddha alone. A Buddha is nothing but the practice of all beings. And all Buddhas are the practice of all beings. So it takes two to tangle. You can tangle by yourself,

[58:22]

but it's not the thorough tangle. The thorough tangle is with somebody. That's what the Lotus Sutra says. Now, you know, after you read the Lotus Sutra, you can practice it. You can see if you think you can do something thoroughly by yourself. And then if you think you can do it thoroughly by yourself, then you wouldn't need to go talk to somebody else who... Right? But still, if you think you can do anything thoroughly by yourself, it's recommended that you go find somebody to tell that to and see if they agree. And even if they're not a Buddha, they might say, what? You think that was complete? And then you get to see if you can get over your idea that you can do something complete by yourself. No, I can. I'm attached to it. Well, great. Now you see that. But you wouldn't maybe know that until you go check it out with somebody else. So that's what the Lotus Sutra says.

[59:23]

And Zen school, Soto Zen in particular, but I think other Zen schools, are not about one person becoming Buddha. It's about the entire mass of life becoming Buddha. So it has to be two Buddhas. Now it can be more than two Buddhas, but at least two. And again, the example of confession. You think you're confessing your resistance. Well, I confess my resistance to tell somebody else. But again, if you tell somebody else, you may find out they don't know what you're talking about because you abbreviated it. Or you had code for it. But the way you put it into code didn't have much impact on you actually. And then you say it, you say the whole thing and they go, oh my gosh, and you go, oh my God. It really feels different to tell the whole story. Now I'm much more embarrassed. But that embarrassment is very important.

[60:24]

It's very sobering. Does that make some sense? You keep asking me to talk about this forever though. This is a big one. I probably will. Yeah. This is a big one. That teaching, there's a chapter in the Shobo Genso, Only a Buddha and a Buddha. And in some sense, that chapter, I think, is the spirit of that chapter and the teaching of that chapter, Only a Buddha and a Buddha, I think, is very much the context of this sentient beings and Buddhas together is our way. The non-duality is our way. So on Sunday, I was thinking of talking about what he called this context, the spiritual source of our tradition, of how we practice together and how to invoke

[61:26]

that bilateral understanding of the practice of not just one Buddha, not a one-sided Buddha, but two-sided Buddha. Did you say something snuck in there? I think I said slew. Slew. Well, do you want to slide out of here now? Yes? Okay. May our attention please tend to every being and place with the true merit of Buddha's way. Beings are numberless. I vow to save them

[62:30]

Delusions are inexhaustible. I vow to end them. Dharma gates are boundless. I vow to enter them. Buddha's way is unsurpassable. I vow to become it.

[62:56]

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