So I wonder where my, or where the muse is for this talk. Watching the Dharma wheel turn and turn, I wonder, is this the point to jump on? Is this the place to turn it? Or like playing jump rope in the playground, it's going round and round. At what point should we jump in? Wait for the next one? The next one? The job of saving the whole world, the job of saving every living creature is rather large.

[01:17]

You could say it's awful or terrible, full of terror, full of awe. And because of that, in a way, I feel we must, or I must, not miss too many beats, not wait too many times for the jump rope to go around before I jump in. Since it's such a big job, let's use every chance we get. In a way, I feel that's something to do with the spirit of the bodhisattvas, to use everything that comes up, rather than waiting for some wonderful state of mind, which may or may not ever come. Let's use the first thing that comes.

[02:23]

Partly because we have such a big job to do. but also because that is the job, is to use everything that comes. So I wonder, you know, about Agouti's finger. Judy's finger. His name's really Judy. His finger.

[03:27]

Was his finger beautiful, do you think? Do you think it was terrible? Do you think it was awesome? Do you think anybody even noticed it? What could that finger have been that people are talking about it thousands of years later What was it? What is it? Do you think it was beautiful? Do you think it was a terror? That you could just barely stand? In his early days he was sitting in meditation one time and a nun came to visit him and she came into his little hut and she stood in front of him but I think she didn't even take off her rain hat and observed the usual formalities of respect.

[04:57]

And she walked around him I think three times maybe, I think she did. And she said, if you can say a good word, I'll stay for the night or something like that. Oh, no. Then she walked around three times, and then she was going to leave, and he said, wait a minute. And she said, if you can say some good word, I'll... He said, wait a minute, it's raining out there or something. And he said, if you... But you'll, you know... You'll get wet or something. She said, if you can say a good word, I'll stay. And he couldn't say anything. She split. After she left, he said, Well, I have the body of a man, but I don't have the spirit. He couldn't use the opportunity. He couldn't use it. And then he spent the rest of his life taking revenge on that. Using everything. This finger, I don't know how he held it, but I picture it as up like this, an upright finger, a finger of uprightness.

[06:15]

I think that finger is a manifestation of ultimate reality. Someone asked me how I work with my lower back. The main way I work with my lower back is these days, the main way I work with my lower back is with the mudra, with the hand mudra. This hand mudra is called the cosmic mudra also. Is this mudra beautiful?

[07:24]

Is this mudra something you can barely stand to see? I put the mudra next to my abdomen and I touch my abdomen with the baby fingers. That's how I take care of my lower back. By the awareness that feels the fingers touching the abdomen, that awareness can find the balanced place for how to hold my back moment after moment. Not to arch too much, not to slouch too much. The mind which notices this mudra touching the abdomen notices tensions arising and pain arising. Subtle feedbacks telling me I'm getting off center. I can't just look at my back by itself usually.

[08:30]

I'm not aware enough, but just straight on, I don't have the awareness to be able to just directly look and find the way to hold my back. But the mudra, touching my abdomen, helps the back be right, helps the back be balanced. The mudra helps my whole body and my whole body helps the mudra because I wouldn't make the effort. For me it's quite a big effort. to hold the mudra in such a way to let the mudra be in that place, moment after moment, it's a big effort.

[09:31]

I wouldn't do it if my whole body wasn't helping me do it, if my whole body is helping me do it because my whole body needs me to do it. My back, my whole health, needs me to be aware of where my hand is. My whole life needs me to have this mudra just so. Moment after moment. The body helps the mudra, the mudra helps the body. The body saves the mudra, the mudra saves the body. The world helps the mudra, the mudra helps the world. from this mudra buddhas have been saving beings and beings have been helping buddhas make this muda.

[10:44]

Without beings there would be no such mudra. Without many sufferings there would not be this mudra. So it's a little thing. It just happens to be there in the Zazen practitioner. And so I recommend to myself, use it. It is, in fact, the manifestation of ultimate reality. It shows the teaching of Buddha. It shows the interdependence of all being. It demonstrates it. Is it terrifying?

[11:54]

Is it beautiful? Some people who practice Zen, I hear from them, they don't have much of a mudra. They don't have much of a posture. They can't even remember their posture in a mudra. they have what's called an inability to concentrate. In that case, what one must use in order to save all beings is an inability to concentrate. That's what you use because that's what you got. And you're not supposed to miss an opportunity according to today's news. If you're concentrated, then use concentration to save all beings.

[13:09]

Use the concentration to help the world. The world is helping you be concentrated. You use concentration to help the world. The world sometimes helps you be distracted. The world sometimes helps you have an inability or to think that you have an inability to concentrate. This is not coming to you by your own effort. Your laziness does not come to you by your own effort. It's a gift from the cosmos. It's a gift from your friends and neighbors who kept you up late at night and fed you too much rich food. You couldn't have gotten this way all by yourself and you didn't. Your mother helped you. Your father helped you. Everybody helped you have this opportunity of an inability to concentrate. Now, use this inability to concentrate to save all beings.

[14:18]

Using whatever you've got, using your distracted mind using your inability to concentrate using that as it happens to save the world is what we call uprightness. That's uprightness. This uprightness is beyond human agency. No matter what humans do There's Gutei's finger. There's Judy's uprightness. You can't get rid of it. You can't make it come. It's just simply using what's at hand, no matter what it is. Of course, this does require having your eyes open. This does require being completely awake. You have to be awake to notice.

[15:24]

Here is an inability to concentrate. This is what we use now to save the world. Now we have a fantastically profound state of imperturbable composure. This is what we use to save the world because this is what is manifesting at hand. We use this. But it's harder to use this than that, maybe so. Use that thought that it's harder to save the world. This practice is beyond all human agency. The zazen I'm talking about, the uprightness I'm talking about, is not learning to concentrate and it's not learning to be distracted. It is simply the Dharma gate, the true gate, the teaching gate of peace and bliss.

[16:38]

It is the practice enlightenment of totally culminated realization. Traps and snares can never reach it. It is like a tiger when she enters the mountains. Right there in that uprightness dullness and distraction are struck aside. So even if what's happening is dullness and distraction, I wonder why some people are falling asleep.

[17:49]

I thought this was interesting. Okay, tigers. Here's a lullaby. Tiger, tiger, burning bright in the forest of the night. What immortal hand or eye could frame thy fearful symmetry? In what distant deeps and skies burn the fire of thine eyes? On what winds dare he aspire? What the hand dare seize the fire? And what shoulder and what art could twist the sinews of thy heart? And when thy heart began to beat.

[18:50]

What dread hand, what dread feet, what hammer, and what chain? In what furnace was thy brain? What the anvil, what the dread grasp, dare its terrors clasp? when the stars threw down their spears and watered heavens with their tears. Did she smile at her work to see? Did she who made the lamb make thee? Tiger, tiger, burning bright in the forest of the night, what immortal hand or eye dare frame thy fearful symmetry? What immortal hand or eye dare frame the fearful symmetry of the Bodhisattva's way.

[19:57]

When the brain's seething with maggots and snakes of passion, are you going to use that? Human beings don't know what to do at that time and this is the usual state of affairs. But there's a tiger who prances and plays in that very world by using a mudra against the abdomen. By putting the hands together just so, and lifting them a little higher up to your nose. I named a monk, Subtle Wilderness, Sweet and Gentle. When he heard Sweet and Gentle, he said, no, that's not me.

[21:09]

But then later he thought, no, I'm going to try to be Sweet and Gentle. But human beings can never be sweet and gentle. It's beyond human agency, really. So I saw him gassho the other day, and his gassho was like, you know, it was cool down here, you know. Hey, man. Nice low leaning one. Now, real old Zen teachers sometimes do that, you know. They've been intense too long. They're all worn out. They're dull. After years of sweetness, they're all soggy. They can't hold their mudra up anymore. So when I saw this guy's mudra, I said, can I make a comment on your mudra?

[22:12]

And he said, sure, anytime. I said, lift it up a little higher to your nose. And when he did, he looked so sweet, so sweet. It's so sweet that he would do that, that he would listen to me say something about how he holds his hands. And then another person came and saw me and had one of those lowrider mudras too. And so I suggested lift it up and sure enough, so sweet, it's so sweet to use these hands to save all sentient beings. It's not that big a deal, but it's a big deal. It's not that big a deal, but it saves the world, the whole entire world. And no Buddha I ever heard of says that this saves like part of the world. It saves the entire universe just doing that. That's Kadagiri Roshi's teaching. That's what's called the self-enjoyment samadhi, jujuyu-samadhi, to give your hands to the universe, to put the serving pots down on the meal board to serve people as a gift.

[23:25]

The way you set it down is a gift. It's a chance to save the world. There's not that much you can do at that time. You got the pot in your hand, you got your feet in the ground. What can you do to save the world? Well, you're going to put the pot down anyway. Why don't you make that the manifestation of complete enlightenment? Now as I set this serving pot down, I vow with all sentient beings to teach people, to help people realize what is just enough, by setting this serving pot down just so. And when you receive the food, you can give the servers a gift by the way you hold your bowl out. You can say, here, look at this way I'm holding the bowl up. This is my gift to you. Isn't it pretty? Isn't it lovely? Isn't it beautiful the way I'm holding this bowl? Isn't this awesome? Isn't this frightening?

[24:27]

This is my gift to you. I'm not saying all that to you, but that's my feeling. What more can I give you now? You can't put the bowl down and shake your hand. Or maybe I could. But that's going a bit far. This uprightness can enter every realm and realize the way. And we use these things, whatever they are. Spending many hours meditating, one can realize the function of a mudra.

[25:34]

and the function of a body and how the body and the mudra are interdependent and help each other. But this realization can be extended to everything, everything we do throughout the day can be this way. And when other people don't want to play and don't want to have their mudra against their abdomen and don't want to save the world with their gassho and the way they serve, then use that. perception of them.

[26:37]

Could you speak up please? Y. E. S. Explanation mark. I can't hear you. Does it look like something? Oh, that's another point, but before I go on to that, I want to answer this, I want to say that, I want to respond to that, you know, I want to do that in a real quiet way, but if I do you won't be able to hear me.

[28:39]

So pretend as though I'm talking really quietly, okay? The way is not... has no marks. But that doesn't mean it doesn't have any marks. It doesn't look a way, but it doesn't mean it doesn't look a way. So, for example, having the eyes open during zazen. It says, always keep your eyes open, it says, right? But the eyes open are not like a characteristic of uprightness. It's not like uprightness has these eyes open and, you know, little earrings on or not. It's that Eyes open are uprightness.

[29:42]

Not that uprightness has a characteristic called eyes open, but uprightness is eyes open. Therefore, eyes are open in uprightness. So it doesn't look that way. It is that way. It always is some way. And if the eyes are shut, the eyes being shut is uprightness. But uprightness is eyes open. Now, if your mind is seething with snakes and you want to calm down, it's okay to close your eyes for a while. If you see that open eyes are not open eyes, you're fine.

[30:54]

If you see that closed eyes are not closed eyes, you're fine. If you have open eyes and see that open eyes are open eyes and that's all you see, you're not fine. So, did I answer your question, Sonia? If you concentrate on wanting to look like you're saving all sentient beings by the way you put down the pot, you might miss saving all sentient beings. If you concentrate on looking like you're doing something good, you might miss doing something good.

[32:03]

Rather than concentrating on the activity itself. You might get inappropriate. Yes, definitely. You might spill the soup. because you were thinking about something other than what you were doing. You also might think that you were doing something good. And to one-sidedly think that you're doing something good is evil. So you'd be doing evil by thinking that you're doing good. To use opportunities to do good, to use opportunities as a gift to save all beings, does not mean that you think you're doing that.

[33:08]

To use every opportunity to do good does not mean you go around thinking, I'm doing good. To think I'm doing good is extremely close in quality of enlightenment to think I'm doing bad. But thinking I'm doing bad is a little closer to enlightenment than thinking I'm doing good, usually. Thinking that I'm doing good is not doing good. Thinking I'm doing bad could be doing good. But thinking you're doing good and thinking you're doing bad, both of those are good.

[34:12]

When they happen, both of them are the way to save the world. Is that okay? What do I mean by it? I don't mean anything by it. Do you mean something by it? Maybe somebody does, that's okay. Why save? Why save? Why save? Because I want to. Why save your body?

[35:23]

Because I want to. There's no further result besides saving the world as far as I'm concerned. That's enough. That's all I want to do. And I want to get saved too, as part of that deal. I want to enter the mountains and burn bright. Two things. Feeling I'm doing good, feeling I'm doing bad. Can you hear her? No. That's bad. I've been feeling in my body, in my sitting, in what the Abbot has been saying, two-ness.

[36:29]

I've been feeling two-ness. I've been feeling I'm doing good and feeling I'm doing bad. My breath itself, the inhaling and exhaling, and the attention and awareness of it. going to the source of the stream and sitting and watching the clouds come up. Two, trusting everything to inhalation and exhalation and throwing body and mind into the womb of life. So I've been feeling and experiencing two-ness. Two-ness. Two-ness. Yes. And I remember a preacher saying, something like, nothing is only one thing. So, somehow two-ness is the same as only one thing. Uh-huh. Is that right? The struggle, the dynamic tension between good and evil, there's two things, the struggle itself is one thing.

[37:33]

The struggle is one thing, yeah. And these contradictory things are identical. My breath itself and my awareness of it? Breath and awareness are one thing, right? It's called life. Life manifests through delusion as subject and object, as awareness and breath, or awareness and body, or awareness and thoughts. It appears that way. and there's a world of suffering and a world of birth and death. But if we watch the world of birth and death, if we watch the world of inhalation and exhalation fully, we'll see that the world of birth and death, its nature is actually called nirvana. We'll see that.

[38:39]

will realize that the world of where I bow to you, where we're separate and where there's suffering, that that world is nirvana. But only if we use every opportunity. In other words, only if we are mindful of each thing and how it works and how it's interrelated with everything else. But we won't see how it's related to everything else unless we use this completely. If we use it partially, we'll think there's a few things it's not related to. Or maybe we might think it's not related to much at all. But a big part of the teaching of Soto Zen is to do things exhaustively, all the way to the bottom.

[39:40]

And that's because the teaching says that that's the way things are. Things are exhaustive. Nothing is sort of itself. And that diligent follow-through or diligent presence with what's happening is just in accord with reality. This is called the teaching of suchness. You already have it. So now we're trying to learn how to take care of it. During Seshin, one of the main ways I take care of it is that hand mudra. And everybody helps me take care of that and I find that when I take care of that then I can do my job of taking care of everybody. My willingness to take care of that is similar to my willingness to take care of even this person and even that person.

[40:52]

That's why I think this mudra should be somewhere in the ballpark of being as difficult to take care of as it is to take care of some people. Some people, for us, are very difficult to take care of. The rate at which they're becoming enlightened is difficult to accept. project of their complete realization seems awesome. Somehow that's easy for us to appreciate. But what may be harder for people to appreciate is how difficult it would be to actually take care of your mudra all the time. to be there all the time.

[42:00]

If you think about that, it actually is about as difficult, it's kind of on a par with saving certain difficult cases, who are there saying to you, take care of your mudra, leave me alone. It's okay. I'm all right. Thank you very much, though. And thank you too, Daigu, for noticing the water level. Keep your fluids up. A lot of crying will happen in the Bodhisattva path. uprightness. Om Namo Jigme Sanghanga Om Namo Jogsanghanga Namo Tsukkopo Jogsanghanga These are numberless,

[43:54]

I vow to save them. Delusions are inexhaustible. I vow to end them. But our lock gates are boundless. I vow to enter them. Buddha's way is unsurpassable. I vow to become

[44:24]

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