First, I'd like to invoke with you, to envision with you, the image of the circle of the process of practice, starting with receiving the Bodhisattva precepts, and ending with receiving the Bodhisattva precepts. But in the end, the receiving of them comes from inside, and it is the truest expression

[01:08]

of our nature, whereas at the beginning they might seem like teachings or guidelines we receive from some Buddha outside ourself. So, again, the picture that I have in my mind, which I hope you can invoke too, is a circle of the Bodhisattva precepts being the gate, receiving the Bodhisattva precepts being the gate to the way of practice called being upright, which is my understanding, or

[02:18]

in my understanding is the same as what Dogen Zenji means by non-thinking, and this being upright, this non-thinking is the essential art of the Zazen, of the Buddha ancestors. And practicing being upright, along with that, there is self-expression. And the essential art of Zazen, the being upright, together with our personal expression,

[03:30]

moment by moment, creates the conditions, the opportunity for realizing the Buddhadharma, for realizing the Buddha's teaching of dependent co-arising, which is to realize Buddha's wisdom. Buddha's wisdom is called being awake, Bodhi. This Bodhi then spontaneously gives rise to great compassion, this thorough understanding of inner dependence, is also the understanding of insubstantiality of all things that dependently

[04:40]

co-arise. Understanding dependent co-arising and understanding insubstantiality, great compassion spontaneously arises, and this also is accompanied by self-expression. And now I would call the self-expression complete or full self-expression. And full self-expression of great compassion is the 16 Bodhisattva precepts. So, another simpler picture of the cycle of practice, which is the same thing but has

[05:48]

just three elements in it, is the cycle which starts the same way, with the receiving of the disciplines which are conducive to liberation. And there are many kinds of disciplines which are conducive to liberation. We use the Bodhisattva disciplines, the 16 precepts, but in early Buddhism in India the monks had other sets of training guidelines, sometimes 250 or 343, anyway very detailed

[06:54]

disciplines which were conducive to personal liberation. The Bodhisattva precepts are conducive to universal liberation. So the first step in this simplified picture is receiving these disciplines which are conducive in one lineage to the liberation of self and in the Bodhisattva lineage to the liberation of others and self. In Sanskrit it's called Pratimoksha Samvara, the discipline conducive to liberation. The next phase is called Dhyana Samvara, the discipline in concentration, and the next phase

[08:03]

is called Anasarava Samvara, which is discipline in having no outflows. And having no outflows means that there's no sense of gain or loss anymore, or self or other, or before and after, that's flooding into or oozing out of you. There's no leakage of energy or gain of energy. They're just a unified, awakened being. And again I would complete the circle from this way of discipline which has no outflows back to the beginning of the discipline in that which is conducive to awakening or liberation.

[09:12]

So in a sense the way that I'm presenting the circle to you, the second and third phases which I've just introduced is the discipline in concentration and the discipline in no outflows. And when that discipline in no outflows has been realized, when the Buddha realized that discipline the Buddha had wisdom. When there's no outflows one can see what the Buddha saw. When the Buddha realized the knowledge of no outflows he saw this is how suffering comes to be. This is suffering as it's coming to be. This is the origination of suffering as it comes to be. This is the cessation of suffering as it comes to be. And this is the path which realizes the cessation of suffering as it comes to be.

[10:25]

He saw the Four Noble Truths when he realized this knowledge of no outflows. But in the usual way it's presented, it's receive the precepts, practice concentration, realize no outflows, bodhi. But I think it's more like receive the precepts, practice concentration on having no outflows. To apply the concentration to wisdom rather than concentration and then wisdom. Now look at the circle again. Receiving the Bodhisattva precepts.

[11:43]

Usually when one first receives them, I shouldn't say usually when one first receives them but one can receive them and use these as guidelines or teachings and based on these guidelines and teachings one chooses to behave in certain ways. One is in the realm of choice and one chooses to live in accord with these precepts. So at the beginning of this training period we receive the precepts and some of us have been have been observing these precepts and moment by moment choosing to practice in accord with these precepts. This kind of honest admission that we're living in the realm of choice and that since we are, if I live in the realm of choice then I choose the Bodhisattva precepts as my way of choosing.

[12:49]

I choose not killing and not stealing as much as possible and if I receive these precepts and I'm going to choose anything then I choose them and if I don't choose them I confess that I did not choose what I committed to choose when I choose and I confess. So every morning we confess all the things we did which were not choosing these precepts. This kind of practice is the foundation for non-thinking, for being upright. It sets the stage for being upright. In being upright the choices are in some sense further limited.

[13:54]

So within the basic practice of the Bodhisattva precepts now we choose to in addition to what's said there to be balanced and to sacrifice to give up even more. In receiving the Bodhisattva precepts and vowing to live in accord with them and committing to observe them there's some death. It's the beginning of a, if there's a beginning of a initiatory death there in the sense that we give up the life of being an outlaw. We begin to, you know, retire from outlaw activity.

[15:11]

We give up stealing and killing. We say okay I'll try not to kill anymore, I'll try not to lie anymore. We give it up. By doing that we're ready to practice non-thinking which means in the of my thinking even thinking which is not violating these precepts like for example thinking that it's Monday, thinking that it's morning, thinking that such and such is good and such and such is bad, thinking of past and future. In the middle of all that thinking, in the middle of all thinking we further give up. We give up all thinking. We don't suppress the thinking because that's more thinking. We don't elevate the thinking. We don't despise the thinking. We don't esteem the thinking. Thinking esteems thinking. Thinking

[16:19]

despises thinking. That's just more thinking. We, in the middle of all that thinking, in the middle of the Bodhisattva precepts and all the thinking, we give it all up and we just sit upright in the middle of everything that's going on which is a further initiatory death. Even more involvement in our karma is dropped and you could say burned away. And this non-thinking presence is more and more realized in the middle of the tremendous activity of our life. We practice total devotion to immobile sitting which means that even when you're serving lunch

[17:25]

and coming swiftly down the aisle to serve, you're not moving. You're totally devoted to not moving while you're walking, while you're bowing, while you're offering incense. You're totally devoted to being completely still. You are obstructed by stillness. You don't try to be still. That's more thinking. Everywhere you turn, there's stillness. Arms and legs are flailing about but the center is still and you give up all activity. Now this is a initiatory death completed or a fiery initiation that burns away all attachment.

[18:45]

All, anyway, all conscious attachment. There may be some deep down unconscious clinging to the belief in yourself which hasn't yet been dropped but consciously at least you're giving up everything and just being still no matter what's happening. But what about that? No, that too. Even that you don't grab, you don't get involved. You don't try to be concentrated. You are concentrated without using any device, without any contrivance. The mind is pacified. Even while it's totally wild all around you, there is a pacified mind simultaneous because no matter how wild it is, if you don't grab it, it can't grab you. If you give it up, it doesn't touch you.

[19:51]

This wild activity is not really the world. It's being involved in it that's the world. You give up involvement in that wildness. Such a practice is the scripture of the ancestors. As Prajna Tara said, Breathing in, I don't dwell in the realms of body and mind. Breathing out, I don't get entangled in myriad circumstances. No matter how your experience is arising, not involved, not entangled. It will be emerging through this body, physical and verbal and mental activity. It will still arise.

[21:38]

If there's still some belief in an independent self, then this activity will be to some extent still karma. Now, this self-expression that comes along with the practice of non-thinking is relative to the practice of non-thinking. If the being upright is really balanced and this ritual death, this initial, this initiatory death is not excessive,

[22:56]

is not fascist, but has gentleness and flexibility, there will still be life of the individual. The ego will not be crushed. And the ultimate concern of this ego will still be alive. There will still be faith. If the being upright, if the non-thinking is too excessive, if the limitation, if the devotion to immobile sitting is excessive, overbearing, then the self-expression will be excessive. If you go too far in your sitting still,

[24:04]

then your wiggling will be excessive. If you sit still in a well-proportioned way, your movement will be well-proportioned and not excessive. This is the essential art of Zazen, to be totally devoted to immobile sitting, to be unattached in the middle of all your activity and all your thoughts in such a way that when your expression comes, it is creative and well-proportioned. And the two together, the non-thinking and the expression that arises with this non-thinking,

[25:13]

the two together start to reveal the Buddha's teaching. The Dharma manifests. The teaching of dependent co-arising shows itself. You start to see the grasses and trees and mountains and rivers and all sentient beings aiding you and you start to see how you aid them. You start to see how your expression is molded by your stillness. You start to see how your stillness is a reflection of your activity. As this picture becomes more and more clear, the non-thinking becomes even better proportioned

[26:15]

and the activity becomes even better proportioned and better means more in alignment with interdependence and the understanding of interdependence starts to settle into your body, mind and speech. Then, again, now the full self-expression comes. And this full self-expression is coming from an understanding of the insubstantiality of everything. It is actually an emptiness whose essence is compassion. You're totally devoted to all beings who you understand are insubstantial.

[27:23]

You're totally devoted to insubstantial beings. You understand that there's no other. You're totally devoted to helping others and you understand there aren't any. And you're disciplined and completely free of the discipline at the same time. But the way you're free is an expression of the discipline. And this process of expression is the initiatory rebirth or a watery initiation. So, now we're in this, what do you call it, session and we have this schedule.

[29:25]

And so, what does it mean to not move? And what does it mean in the middle of all the thinking that's going on? For example, I'm in pain. I have pain in this part of my body or mind. And perhaps I should do this or that about this pain. I'm feeling restless in this part of my body or mind. What should I do about this restlessness? I'm feeling sleepy and dull. What should I do about this sleepiness or dullness? Or I think I'll do this or that about the sleepiness. Or I think I'll do this or that about the pain. Or I think I'll do this or that about the anger, the confusion, and so on. These are thoughts.

[30:29]

What does it mean to practice non-thinking in the midst of such thoughts? I'm not telling you to think, I should move or I should not move. I'm saying, when you think, I should move, what is non-thinking at that moment? What is not dwelling in the thought, should I move, I should move? The thought, I should sit up straight or I want to sit up straight. Or I don't want to sit up straight. What does it mean to just be upright when you have thoughts?

[31:35]

Or another thought would, I don't like being upright and I don't like non-thinking. What is being upright when you don't like being upright? What is it? There's maybe the thought, I don't trust being upright, I don't trust non-thinking. What is non-thinking in the midst of the thought, I don't trust non-thinking. I don't trust the essential art of Zazen. What is the essential art of Zazen when you don't like the essential art of Zazen? In the midst of resistance, how do you die to the resistance? What is that? Dying to the resistance of whatever is happening, the mind is spontaneously

[33:02]

tranquilized and awake. And again, the death should not be an excessive process, a cruel death, it should be a loving death. Are you ready to die, dear? No, not quite. Well, just take your time, we'll check back later. When would you like me to come back? In a couple minutes or next period? Don't ever come back. Okay, well, I mean, I hear you say that. I might check back sooner than never.

[34:12]

Maybe you're just a little angry right now, because you're in so much pain. So, the Buddha said in the Lotus Sutra, those who are upright, gentle, flexible, and harmonious, and practice all virtues, which means that you take up residence in your body with all that's going on, deal with all that's going on, and you're upright there and gentle, you will see the Buddha, you will see the Pinnacle arising.

[35:17]

So, today, if it's all right with you, I'd like you to sit with you and concentrate myself on what it is to be upright in the middle of my experience. So, not have any dogs on today, if that's okay. So, maybe that's really clear what I said. I don't know, is it?

[37:33]

Any questions about that? Can you use the phrase, obstructed stillness? Obstructed by stillness. Yeah, that's a quote from the Fukanza Zengi, actually, you know, where it says, totally devoted to a mobile sitting, or then it says, completely engaged in a mobile sitting. How's it go? Is that how it goes, something like that? Total devotion to a mobile sitting, completely engaged in a mobile sitting, that part of the text. Completely engaged is the way some people translate it, but other people translate it as, or you could even say, completely immersed in stillness.

[38:56]

But the character, actually, is a character which means obstructed, but it sounds funny to people to say, obstructed by stillness, or obstructed by not moving. Did you find it, Jordan? No. Is it at the beginning? It's at the end. Thank you. But actually, the character means, literally, this character means obstructed, or obstacle, or hindrance, and so the way I understand it is that you're practicing in such a way that even while you're walking around Green Gorge, even when you pick up the telephone, even as your hand touches the telephone, it's like stillness is right there, and as you raise it, stillness is there, [...] and you say, hello, but as you say hello, stillness is there.

[40:00]

Wherever you go, you feel that you're not running around. You're so devoted to giving up all the activity, that then the giving up of all activity comes back at you, and you feel still wherever you go. You don't do anything anymore, you don't do something to be still, the stillness comes to meet you, and of course stillness never happens any place but in activity. Stillness isn't something, there aren't any things. Stillness is a dependently co-arisen phenomena, and it's always there in activity.

[41:02]

By practicing non-thinking, you're always confronted with that stillness, and when you're confronted by that stillness in all your activity, you also start to be confronted by Buddha's teaching, by the Buddha Dharma starts also confronting you. You never see movement without stillness or stillness without movement. You see the dependent co-arising of stillness and the dependent co-arising of movement. As long as we're holding on to movement or stillness, as long as we're involved in our experience, that attachment covers our eyes to Buddha Dharma. The slightest attachment puts a glaze over our eyes and interferes with phenomena telling us about its dependent co-arising. It doesn't completely block it, we can still hear whispers of

[42:08]

it, but when we let go of our attachment to our thinking, then phenomena tells us the whole story. It says, I'm a dependent co-arising and I'm insubstantial, don't be fooled by me. I've got to come and visit you. It's like kind of like what they call it, it's like a subpoena server. They have to deliver it, I got to deliver it. But you know, don't be fooled by this. In general, in this world and other worlds as well, both in India and China, equally hold the Buddha seal and overall prevails the character of this school, which is simply devotion to sitting, total engagement in a mobile sitting, total engagement in mobile sitting can be translated as obstructed by a mobile sitting.

[43:12]

Wherever you go……mobile sitting, mobile sitting…. And when you're obstructed by a mobile sitting, you will also be obstructed by something else. You will also be obstructed by something else, which is a lot scarier than a mobile sitting, it's called beauty. And when you're obstructed by beauty, you will start to manifest beauty. When you're obstructed by a mobile sitting, you will start to manifest a mobile sitting and others will see it. Even though you're walking around, they'll see concentration, and they'll see beauty. But it's not easy to face the fact that you're never moving, and it's not easy to face beauty. Because beauty is not beauty, and being still is not being still.

[44:18]

But if you can give up your thinking, then you have a chance to have the courage to face a mobile sitting, to be totally engaged in a mobile sitting, no matter what you're doing. I was going to read a case this morning, I didn't. I've been going, I've been reading cases of the Book of Serenity, and I just happened to be on case 75 now. So here's case 75, synchronicity. Even when, this is the introduction, even when you call it thus, it's already changed. Where knowledge doesn't reach, avoid speaking of it.

[45:22]

Here, is there any investigation or not? Yuyi Yan asked Yanto, what is the fundamental constant principle? Yanto said, moving. Moving. What is the fundamental constant principle? Moving. Yuyi Yan said, when moving, what then? Yanto said, you don't see the fundamental constant principle. Yuyi Yan stood there, thinking, good, there's somebody alive in the room, that's what

[46:28]

happens to you when you practice being upright and totally devoted to immobile sitting, you move unpredictably. Is it right or not? So Yuyi Yan stood there thinking, Yanto said, if you agree, you are not yet free of sense and matter. However, if you don't agree, you're forever sunk in birth and death. Did you get that? You're sitting there thinking about your life, thinking about your life or thinking about Buddha's teaching, okay? If you go off into agreeing, okay, oh, Buddha's teaching, okay, I agree. If you agree, or Yanto's teaching, if you agree, you are not yet free of sense and matter.

[47:34]

If you don't agree, you're forever sunk in birth and death. Agreeing and disagreeing are not being upright. Now, there can be, you know, agreeing flies by, not agreeing flies around, but you don't grab those. I don't know which is worse, grabbing agreeing or not agreeing. If you grab agreeing, you're not yet free of sense and matter. That doesn't sound so bad, but maybe it's worse, because if you grab not agreeing, you get sunk in birth and death forever. And although that's really bad, at least you know it's bad. The other ones say, well, that's not so bad, then you're really in trouble. Anyway, if you agree or disagree with Buddha's teaching, that's not non-thinking. You know, I agree, I don't agree, oh, Buddha's teaching is good, I don't know about Buddha's

[48:39]

teaching. Well, Buddha's teaching is good, but somebody else's isn't, I don't know, this is thinking. If you agree or disagree, this goes on. Being upright is, you're just there, you're not getting caught up in that stuff. If you do get caught up, you say, I confess, I got caught up, sorry, can I go back to work now? So maybe a few times during the day you'll get caught. So maybe a few times during the day you confess. Dogen Zenji says, our practice is one constant mistake, but not just mistake, but mistake-confession, mistake-confession, mistake-confession, mistake-confession. And then, confession, be upright, confession, be upright. Don't worry about making mistakes. Not worrying about making mistakes, and also not getting, grabbing not worrying, making

[49:42]

mistakes, that's being upright. Making mistakes isn't being upright, grabbing things isn't being upright, but not getting excited about that, and letting just the mistake be the mistake, that's being upright. Don't agree or disagree, okay? Don't submit, and don't rebel. Don't be a good boy, don't be a bad girl. Good and bad girls are all around you, all day long. If you don't notice that, you're a little too drowsy. When I was a kid, I used to think devils were about, you know, somewhere between five and seven feet tall.

[50:43]

But then I found out that, traditionally, devils are really tiny, and there's many, many devils, and they're small enough so they can sit in your ear, and whisper things to you. Zazen's good, Zazen's bad, you can do better than this, you're a lousy student, you're a good student, take a nap, wake up, get excited, think of sex, there's all kinds of devils, and they can, you know, a whole chorus of them can fit in your ear, and they're all trying to sort of get you. And they're not really mean, they're just trying to like, you know, do their thing and get a response, because their thing is to get a response from a big, fat Zen student. You know, a little tiny devil, a little word, Zen student goes, whoa, that's really fun. But to sit there and hear all that stuff going on, and just be kind of like, mm-hmm, not

[51:54]

like, oh, I'm too dumb, even, but just, mm-hmm, I hear you, [...] this is compassion, I hear you, I hear you, and I want to save you, so I'm just going to sit here and be balanced, and then see if a response comes to your question from that balancedness. I'm not going to resist the devil's words, I'm not going to indulge in the devil's words, and the devil's words are everything I think, including when I hear a nice Buddha or Bodhisattva giving me instruction, I'll listen to it the same way, I won't agree, I won't disagree. And when it's like that, you're obstructed by stillness. It's like your attachment equipment just doesn't operate.

[52:56]

And then, from this non-operating attachment equipment, a hand comes up and extends into the world, freely, nobody does it, it's just full self-expression. Any other questions? What is it, you know, there's a song, Thank Heaven for Little Girls, is that how it goes? Maurice Chevalier, Thank Heaven for Little Girls, is that right? So I thank heaven for little happinesses, I'm really happy that I got to read this

[54:08]

case, I wanted to read it, but I'm waiting and waiting for the time to read it, and finally got the chance to read case 75, and now I'm going to wait for the chance to read case 76. I'll be watching. Yes, Sonia? It seems to me that the study you've been talking about happens between stillness and movement, that border between the two. Something that seems like moving in my mind. The study seems like movement? Well, it's like, you know, I often quote, what is his name, Mr. Thoreau, he said, all you need to do is to sit long enough in an attractive spot in the woods, and all the

[55:13]

inhabitants will exhibit themselves to you in turn. So when the skunk comes trotting by and turns towards you and goes, that exhibit is movement. And seeing that skunk is study. Now, you might think that's you moving. One of the inhabitants of the forest might be you, and you might sit there, and suddenly your hand raises up. You could say that's movement. Well, it is. And being aware of it is study. And when the study is complete, it isn't just that the hand comes up, but you see that a story has just arisen, that this hand didn't happen all by itself.

[56:16]

It came with a story. You see the dependent co-arising. The hand whispers Dharma to you, sings Dharma to you as it arises. And this is study. It's study and revelation at the same time. Complete activity, slow or fast, tremendous energy arising, manifesting in creation right before you. You don't do it. Somebody else doesn't do it. It's dependent co-arising. So again, in the first case of the Book of Serenity, it says, the mother principle is constantly working her loom and shuttle, incorporating the patterns of spring into the ancient brocade.

[57:20]

The mother principle, creation, is constantly working right all around us, taking the latest moment and incorporating it into the history of the universe. It's right in front of us. Can you see it? That's study. I don't do it. The world doesn't do it. It's a dependent co-arising. And all through the process, I'm obstructed by stillness. There's stillness every moment. And with that stillness, there's tremendous activity. The more still, the more active. If the stillness is a stillness which is squashed, the activity is violent. If the stillness is balanced, harmonious, and kind, the creative activity is harmonious and beneficent.

[58:25]

Every time it happens, it's another lesson in attuning the non-thinking. This is too violent. Maybe I'm pushing too hard here. Soften up there. That seems more encouraging. This is the art. This is the art of balancing these forces. And the session gives you I don't know how many million, how many million opportunities to practice this. And we learn by trial and error. And by the end of session, we're often fairly well balanced. So congratulations in advance on being so well balanced five days from now. But really, it's fine the way we are now.

[59:41]

Yet the beginning struggles are just as beautiful in a way. So let's appreciate our present state, even though we might become more skillful as we walk through our suffering. May our intention equally penetrate every being and place.

[60:38]

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