sitting is cancelled due to my wife sixtieth birthday party
but we will have a sitting this weekend had no aboard if you want to come
and also some effort is being made to put these talks on our website so you can you want to i guess listened to him
so that hasn't quite happened yet
but up by next week you'll be able to listen to these talks
ah with your computer
on on know i think under know abode website or or on her own not or on the of the rob anderson website had some center one hundred know which ones going to be on you know
jennifer and ways
putting on this machine which then can go on to the couple's computers
and
the is this your first class tonight jennifer
your first year who else is a first class tonight lynn we here for just your first class yeah who wants his first class tonight
and some people missed last week you missed last recruiting and marjorie
in this was rich

and
and and i thought they looked familiar do work at the library
i started the library to data

so you know there's there's this practical situation of we've had to class and some of you haven't been here and some of you missed last week
and there's some of you who wanted to class don't remember anything
and some of you remember everything verbatim you know so we have a variety of situations here different types of living beings in the room and this is a typical situation right having different kinds of people come together and what are going to do with all that
so on
i could say that there's these beings these enlightening beings called body in these bodhisattvas and they are beings who well in their in their nature they are open to all the different beings all the different
beings who have all the different levels of understanding of the dharma
and all the different levels and types of suffering party softwares are open to that all that
and also they they wanna be open
they want to be more and more open
and they commit to be open to all beings
they commit to learn to be open to all beings and they also want desire vow
to be responsible to and with all beings
they vow to work with everybody
they want to learn
to work with everyone
they want to understand how to work with everyone they want to understand how everyone is working with everyone
hand
you know i'm speaking to so that you can hear me and i'm speaking kind of someone loudly so you can hear me when i speak loudly i can say things like i just said
if i if i just think about it myself i think wow
open to everybody responsible to everyone and with everyone it's kind of like awesome
can my mind can my heart dare
to open to everyone and be be open to working with everyone and be responsible to everyone if i'm if i'm quiet in my own heart i think my wonder if i can would i like to learn that yes i would like
to learn that
and my there
in the quietness of my mind maybe and thus assuring that i'm really that way
maybe i'm not sure that bodhisattva is alive in me
but when ice but when i say it loud at when i bring this issue up loud enough so you can hear me i feel like yeah when i say it loud when i sing it i feel like okay yeah
and yeah and responsible as i've talked about before
has to for me too
one meaning which is commonly understood is that you're responsible for someone or for something
in the sense that
i made of three meanings you're responsible in the sense that you have done something to contribute to the person's existence
like ah
like i know what if you tell someone that you're going to meet him someplace you're responsible you contributed to them maybe thinking you're going to be there
you've contributed to them expecting you are what are or coming to meet you
or you know if you're somebody's parent
you might feel responsible for the for the child because you've contributed to their existence
or if you build a house you feel like you contribute to the existence of the house and you feel responsible
for the house if it falls down you feel that you contributed to it and if the house stands up strong and protects people from bad weather you feel responsible for this nice sturdy building
so we one meaning of responsibility to have contributed to it another meaning of responsible is that if you feel responsible for something you you're willing to take care of it
so both of you some things you maybe don't feel you contributed to to very much but you're you're willing to be responsible for them like some people are willing to be responsible for other people's children some teachers are bill are willing to be responsible for other teachers students
some people are willing to be responsible for message which seem like other people contributed to more than you did
you don't feel like you contributed too much to it
maybe but you still my said wife still willing to take care of or be responsible for this mess
what part of the bodhisattvas responsibility is willing to take care of things where they cannot see that they've contributed to it
can also willing to accept that you have contributed to things even though you can't see that you have
opening to the fact that you have contributed in some way to everything that exists and also open to the other people whether they know it or not whether they believe it or not whether they think it or not they also have contributed to what's going on
and then the other meaning of responsibility is just play on the word
response ability
we bodhisattvas are where and accept they have the ability to respond and they can grease and they do respond they accepted they do respond to everybody there's nobody that they
there's nobody that they don't respond to
but they also understand that everybody's that way
everybody responds to everybody
nobody doesn't respond to anybody
however the bodhisattva is the spirit of accepting that were responding to each other
or the spirit he has experience of accepting her of experience of learning to accept that we are responding to each other and responding to it another creek responding to each other another way to say we're working together
other people are not going to do our practice for us but we can't do the body sought practice alone
how do people are not going to accept our responsibility to them
but they are working with us and they have a responsibility to us and we cannot have a responsibility to them aside from their responsibility to us
i as as a bodhisattva spirit
want to learn to accept my responsibility to all of you and also to open to your responsibility to me
not necessarily to remind you of it but maybe to remind you of it
by care i'm this situation i either remind you of it or tell you about it for the first time to tell you that you are responsible for me
some of you may already feel like oh yeah that's right some of you may be shocked to hear that
but i propose that you are responsible to me and i would say even go little further and say you are completely responsible to me not partially responsible
in other words
your can each of you is completely responsible to me and for me
but not but none of your art all by yourself responsible for me
you're all contributing to me
you're all responsible to me and you all
can respond to me you had the ability respond to me and you do
in many in in many ways and you respond one hundred percent
if you resist that if you don't accept that that
his part of your response
if you don't accept that that's part of your response can do accepted that's probably your response
to fully accept this means to be for you to accept the totality the fullness of yourself
and if if you're not ready to do that
you can wish to learn that you can make a vow you can you can make a commitment you can have a desire
to find that spirit of one hundred percent responsiveness to all beings
which opens the door into the awareness of other beings also being one hundred percent responsive to each other
so in this the situation is
if you meditate on it you might be horrified by it but also see how it's it's it's it's it's rich to the extreme is extremely rich situation that everyone is one hundred percent responsible
to you and you to them
this is very vital situation of the body of the body spirit of the spirit of enlightenment of the full vitality of our life together and our relationship with each other including
karmic patterns which make us resist it is also part and parcel of the vitality and part and parcel of our fear of it
and desire for it
fear of it because it's might overwhelm some of our ideas about ourselves and desired because we think it's separate from us
we could even be embarrassed
and what a rich situation it is and we could even be jealous if we hear about bodhisattvas but this incredibly rich and juicy life there we can be jealous of him so we can be jealous and horrified about the same thing we can want it and be embarrassed to want it we could have it and feel embarrassed
but as possible to work this out so that
you can more and more appreciate this
ha
any feedback for me at this point
any feedback for me or any feedback period even if not for me
yes kathleen

wow
how does actually i've heard that this that this machine picks up people's questions too
so maybe i don't have to repeat her question but i will anyway how the how to be balanced
and i accepting responsibility to say

capacity
yeah
so on
last week i i i i brought to the verse from a lotus sutra chapter sixteen
where the buddhist as those who practice all virtues
our
you know flexible and relaxed and soft
and harmonious an upright upright and honest
we'll see the buddha right now
and again i mentioned that
practicing all virtues means i would say to put what that means is that you are open and responsible to all the different kinds of suffering bags so you were and i also said last week i i suggest to you that you are living right now in together
either with and in the midst of all different kinds of suffering bags that's where we already are
and then to practice virtues means to open to and be and and accept responsibility for the relation all these relationship with all the different types of suffering beings k to then kathleen saying will hardly be balanced in that situation well
those are the fort suggestions starting with honest
if you're honest about the way you are next working backwards upright your upright
you don't lean into your responsibility towards people you don't lean into your compassion you don't shrink back from your compassion you don't move to the right and left your upright with your compassion you feel open to being suffering you feel responsible to them but also
you opened to them being responsible to you
your support your open to be supporting them and taking care of them but you're also opened in them taking care of you
if you keep being generous to people
and you don't see that they're being generous to you you're probably leaning some way
but also being honest about i feel like i'm being generous to them and they're not be generous to me or i feel like i'm taking care of them i'm not taking care of myself that would be part of the honesty is to admit that
and you and you sit in or to recognize that problem and that than it is that's part of that's part of how to be there that's part about how not to
be there in a way that's not the way that will be helpful to you and others and also if we're not upright in this situation i put a positive if we are upright we will then receive more and more guidance and an enlightened awareness will
come to us more and more which again support us to be in this situation in the proper way and then flexibles the other way and harmonic harmonizing as another way and it's not very harmonious for you to be giving but not receive it
stop really harmonic it's just a draining situation or a burn out situation
so if you keep those for those for instructions from the lotus you to tell us how to be in the midst of all beatings in an open and responsible way
and we keep track of those be aware of those and that's and being aware of them as part of them being upright means
being upright does isn't just automatic it comes because you're paying attention to your posture and you're aware of your leanings and you're honest about your leanings and you feel them and your but also flexible about them so you can adjust to the circumstances
okay
jennifer
thank you can
repeat the question
okay repeat the questions
please repeat the question she said
and the comments
yes
i want
i find your mouth
sebring line of really

i feel really support
when you said
yeah like i can actually relax
so much
so your comment was the this this talking about the body sought the spirit gives her relief and ease
and
i agree i did because me that to at the same time i recognized that if you think about it
you might become shocked at what your to or what your opening to but in fact
even when it comes to like simple zen meditation of people sitting upright and it and following their breathing
because they think of it as something they're doing by themselves
i'm gonna sit here and i missed it still and i'm going to be quiet and i'm going to fall my breathing because they think about it that way they often feel very stressed and they even feel sort of upset with themselves because things are not going the way they plan for them to go
what they're doing is not what they plan to do what they're doing is not what they want to do their oriented towards what they're doing and that approach
without being supplemented
by the bodhisattva spirit is a very lonely and tragic way of practicing although it sometimes people are somewhat successful at it for a while
when your success then that becomes a problem too because if you're practicing by yourself you might lose it and then it might be your fault that you lost it so then you might be really stupid to have accomplished something and then blown it
but this the other way of sitting as a vow
it it's it's it's it shifts the center away from the ego
to what to openness and responsibility and compassion and appreciation of other beings supporting you and how you're not practicing by yourself and how other people aren't gonna do it for you
all that seems to be a relief from the egocentric approach to meditation and practice in general
so but still at the along with that is the awesomeness of opening up
and
and also with the awesomeness of opening up is the shame of closing down
some people meditate and is very narrow
self centered way so they're not so ashamed that they're so close down and you know
not you know not helping everybody else as their primary motivation for sitting in meditation
but if you're sitting meditation as an expression of the expansive vow
to open and support and and be opened and supported by all beings if you're if you're practicing that way and then you close down then you have the kind of the shame of going against that bodhisattva vow
which is part of the practices that you would feel some pain some sorrow if you don't live live the life of the vow
if you contract it as a contraction you feel ashamed
the practice for the welfare of all and then you start to notice that you're making some exceptions
to though you're practicing for and you feel some sorrow but that sorrow is also part of the process of confession and repentance which is part of part of compassion is to feel sorrow when you're not compassionate

and there's a danger in one of the dangers of compassion is depression
getting depressed because you open
tall the different kinds of suffering you could is a danger there that if you're not upright you can get depressed get burned out and depressed if you open and you don't stay upright and flexible and honest and so on it's a danger
another danger is you can get to you know attached or lustful towards the beings that you're so open with and so fields are responsible for
so does are to dangers around us
but in some ways there's still even those dangers around this way this way is to a big relief from a self centered approach to meditative achievement
but this doesn't mean that bodhisattvas don't do eric i don't do various kinds of meditation practice where they get concentrated and com and things like that is just that they're at derek's their exercises to become com
next are connected to the vow to do this to help people to become com to help people so you have some com to give away
yeah some com to show people you you're not attached to
and also it's it helped in on people appreciate some common the neighborhood so they they like you to become and they like you not to be attached to it
you know these that make sense
how can they be responsible
how can you
well you are already so you just open to it and see how you're responsible for me see see how you respond me did you see how you just responded to me
did you see again how you responded to me i seen this this is how it just be aware of your response if you're smart you're very responsive to me
you know very
be aware be upright and notice that you are in watch how your how it's going
you don't have to be some other way than you are actually that's where i say
if you close if you can quote you can close your hard to me and that is the way you respond to me some day some of you will close your heart to me some day
purported for many reasons
but that that is the way you respond to me at that time and you are responsible
even though you didn't do it all by yourself
even though even though you'd all little responses you make to me you don't do by yourself
i help you
if i go like this you respond to me but you will quit you can't respond to me the way you just did without me going to that
i contribute to all your responses
and the more you watch that you're more you'll see that and the more you wiped out the more you open to that the more you open to that the more you'll see that
so in one of the ways you going to respond to me and on the people sometimes he's you're going to close your heart i should say your heart's gonna close you don't do it however even though you don't do it
you're responsible for it
even though you didn't do it by yourself you're responsible for in other words when your heart which closes down in relationship to someone as soon as it closes you will respond
it won't stop there your clothes and your respond your clothes you feel boy i'm glad i closed and or it'll close your heart will call you say who or what a relief i don't feel any more of that
are you feel oh ah i feel terrible that my closed for this person they call from my help and i said
at today not today a camp it ain't happening today today is closed down on you day
and i feel and i feel terrible about that because i'm in a class about bodhisattva vow and this bodhisattva values has just close down
not old openness shot responsibility no way
but that still is a response
and you can still open to that and be ashamed
i don't like this okay fine or i do like okay fine did you see that you responded
and again the more you see that you do respond and you do responded you do respond you're not you'll start to notice other people are responding to you all the time to we are working together it's a question of
in enlightenment of waking up to
so the boy sought the spirit is actually about entering into the way of reality it's not just entering into being nice and being a good guy it's entering into reality
which has something to do
with
the fact that we're working together
nancy and then charlie

where'd you say you've been aware of recently what i felt like it
oh you're aware of impatience in in yourself
stop
oh you're feeling frustrated and you're impatient with the frustrations okay

why
yeah i don't want to sit there being so
okay i hear you
well ah
so the the record the frustration arises and then we in response to that
there is impatience and then lives in response to the impatience is i want to do something not to be impatient k
that's no response in another response could be okay now so we've got this picture here and now i'm responding by being aware of this and you are aware of it so you can tell me this
this is a form of suffering sounds like
frustration impatience and trying to work your way out of the company patients
patience is not patients is not trying to work its way out of impatience
patience is actually an antidote to mental agitation
so if you're in pain and you start arriving and wiggly to get away from it that that could be called impatience right
but but impatience has his character of before it turns into hatred and anger it has as tent that it has this thing of wiggling away from the pain from the frustration right patients is about dropping that agitation so if you notice impatience if you in other words if you notice mental agitation
to try to mess with that isn't sort of in the spirit of patience patience is more like let let the for first of all that the frustration frustration but if you can't and you start wiggling then stop don't fight the wiggling
that would be a that'd be a gesture towards patience
but then if you don't do that and you start to do something not to be if you if you wiggle to try to not wiggle then it's just exacerbating the impatience but when you notice that then you have a chance to stop
and be still and face these three different layers on this particular discomfort
and as you face the the outer layers they start to drop away and you come back to the frustration
now you with the frustration and you can just like okay here's the frustration and i'm right here with it this is like being upright with it so this is it still somewhat painful
but your upright with it and it's so-called your pain but your pain or my pains are also like beings
so you know all your own personal sufferings are like living beings themselves which you can be compassionate towards
the upright first be honest to okay frustration
frustration frustration
okay i'm frustrated
upright with honest and upper now also try to harmonize with it and also
be soft and gentle with them
now if you can do that with a frustration right off you won't get into the agitation
but if you get an agitation and you have then you have like to beings to work with to suffering biggs then also you turn to other people who are frustrated other here are the people who who had this same kind of suffering and percent practice with them
and they show them how to do with themselves

yes oh excuse me trolley was next time
so today i it
my best interest in said a person's best interest that i not work with them
and i yeah
i'm worried that i would accidentally be closing remark
ah
because that's what i think many people would do in that situation if they get frustrated and they said
and then she's not to work for this particular person yes
professional basis and they would say you know that person sucks
yeah whereas really i just think it was it was
wasting time and both were time and so my question why
how do we avoid slipping into closing are hard to sell them when
and is there a graceful way to extract yourself in situations that you feel you need to extract yourself from about
now carrying partners
there is a graceful way
and the graceful way is not a really about extracting yourself from any situation
that's the graceful way is not to extract yourself from situations
however
being in situations and working with them gracefully
like for example this class you can be in his class and work with this cross gracefully and then when the class is over you can leave without extracting yourself many situations
or you can think or can almond extract myself from this class
how we just all i would just suggest you is that speak about the situation that you can extract yourself from this could be called graceful but it also big could be called and camp or you know perverted or weird or something that you can extract yourself in his class you following that
we're just kind of strange wouldn't because strange at the underclass to sam extract myself from class is not the end of this it's it's it's a band that ever play again
and i want to quit
and so it goes on forever and it doesn't said some point i to say i'm out here
ah
casey so use you think you you like if you would live to class early than you would extract yourself from the class collector in the middle like right now get going all night at some point it
are you you would you think you wouldn't necessarily have to get up and go outta here it depends if you are if you are really like doing it with me you might want to stay
yeah but you but anyway you can leave now or you could leave later right and you can think of extracting yourself
right but there's another way which is more gracious use the were gracious think it's a good word we don't feel like you're extracting yourself where you feel like you're doing it with people
and when you're working with two people you're working with somebody and you can be both be wasting your time and you could boss you could both see that you're wasting your time but one of you could initiate
changing situation are offering a gift of you leaving
as a gift
has it active graciousness
and as you say not thinking badly of the person but as a kindness to them
and feel responsible to them by leaving and feeling they're supporting you to leave and the are open to this and you're open to their suffering when you're with them and your open there's something when you leave if you leave and feel nuke as a result of leaving leaving that your heart closes to them than you'd have
be something you can be aware of
but this often comes up
very often comes up in discussions of dharma practice of people talk about how do you get a were out how do you get out of harmful abusive situations
because it sounds like were saying you should stay in heart issues he should stay with the situation you make a commitment to beings and you should stay with them yes right
stay with them but also you can take a walk
as a gift
you can you can suggest do things differently as a gift and sometimes people say great and sometimes they say no thank you and you
still have given the gift and you don't give the gift
has a manipulation or with expectation
so part of this practice
is that you're practicing in the midst you're practicing with suffering people in a band
you have a band of suffering people you're practically with them and
your operate with them which means you don't have some expectation of your contribution
you make your contribution you make your contribution
dash you respond to the rest of the people in the band you respond to them you respond to them you respond to them and you're noticing i'm responding i'm giving myself to these people and they're giving themselves to me
this is a gracious situation
but i'm not expecting anything i'm not expecting good music i'm not expecting to get famous i'm not expecting to be the best person in to band of the worst person in the band this is the way to be with them and from that you can say i am out of here
bye bye
but not with a sense of the end and not with a sense of the end the ban goes on in your life goes on together with these people even though you're not going to be playing the same way you did before with them
that your gift gifting them and they may accept it and then maybe enderby a really warm kind feeling but they're also you can stay in a band and have you heard close to right
that may be part of why you want to leave is because you feel your heart closing i don't know
and you may feel like i would like to generously graciously move into a different situation as a gifted these people and as a gift to myself
so you you started by saying the antithesis of what i was talking about you you phrase it that way our i was not going to work with this person anymore
gay used that that way of language
so but i could say i'm not going to work with somebody as a way of working with somebody
the bodhisattva says to people sometimes i'm not going to work with you that's the way they work with the person
and as many as stories like that the teachers saying get outta here
that's the way the teacher is train is intimately graciously lovingly training to student by saying get out
they don't do that to get the student out
and sometimes a student doesn't leave and then they say get out in the student doesn't leave and as they get out and student doesn't leave
how did wakes up
and then tissue doesn't say get out anymore
the gift came to fruition
this is literally one of the stories of jeez man geez enlightenment
it goes to see this guy guys has get out get out you know and he and he goes back and tells us other teacher and teacher says well how can we came back empty handed
declare he went to see this teacher teaches us get out and he goes and tells us other teacher and teachers well how can we came back the trip was in vain you know you're nowhere so it goes back again the guy says get out
and he comes back to teacher and says he told me get out again but wasn't in vain this time
when he said get out
i was with all the borders
so
that means being gracious it means not doing things to get something
it means when you responsive and your responsiveness in your responsibility you don't do things will get something in your ability to respond is given to you you have this but he caught it is a buddha given
quality of you that you are a responsible being and you give that and you give that and you'll give them
and enter bands and lead bands you enter classes and leave classes
you enter relationships and leave relationships
but you always in risk it's always responsive and open and it's always working with with with people in the matter what all was working together there's no way to get away from that's the view of the body sought but there's no way to extract yourself from the universe but
normal human beings think that they have successfully extracted themselves from the universe which they visit on regular basis
most people think that way there's a universe plus somebody
and everybody thinks that somebody's them and they don't think that somebody is the other people they think they're in the universe
the boy sought but his opening their heart to the non extraction of their life from other lives their opening to living together with everybody
gradually carefully graciously opening to living together with everybody
an opening to this incredible not incredible credible extremely credible inconceivable but credible
working together
lois

yeah

yeah
exactly who i was distancing myself you wanted to distance yourself from something
oh you did you emotionally but i kept it
yeah
but i know it
tommy

that was is that what it takes
something about what you said beginning
robotics is more
now
of your question
over
stretch
so separate
randy
tonight
everywhere
very strong your opening to some strong feelings and some strong images
as a result of this discussion of opening
and you also reporting that earlier today you you you experienced some closing
and again i must say you are in control of your opening and closing the opening tonight has something to do with me ranting about opening
that you know that that's probably one of the conditions for the opening
and during the day people were doing something else around you beings we're doing something else around you and that kind of stimulated a closing
lotus is the great lotus right the lotus it opens in the daytime and closes at night
it does it isn't open all the time and hearts also are not always open the open and close open and close so flowers open and closed hearts open and close her consciousness opens in clause or compassion opens in clause
and so this image it's a it's a multi dimensional image
and
i i will say that when i saw actually a film
ah of a of a monk bernie himself
i i saw i'm on fire you know and i thought all
he's on fire and
and you looked like it just seems like a charge mound there in the flames but then it fell over which i thought that makes sense that would fall over but then sat up again and i thought hmmm
what's that about so it made me wonder so you said is that what it takes
and i thought who
somewhat related to that like how can a person do that how could a person is set up again what does it take to be able to sit in the flames and then when you fall over to get back up again what does that take what kind of presence is there

i originally
yeah it feels like
is very far from
actually

this

that's that was very impressive and it's also impressive to see somebody sitting among other people and see them open to the suffering of other people or to see someone who's got
who doesn't who doesn't choose to set themselves on fire but who has a disease which is like burning up and yet even though they're in a burning body
with some burning disease they exhibit this uprightness and this presence and honesty and flexibility with their own illness
and or with other people's illnesses and this is also impressive and
he could say this is what it takes but you can also save this is what body sought this is how up as want to be because this is also
this openness all this suffering is part and parcel of them caring for all the suffering beings that they're born from compassion and they had the ability to stand the pain
of other beings but in particular they also experienced the pain that comes from loving other beings
but that pain is also called the greatest pleasure the greatest not pleasure but the greatest happiness
because there's no fearlessness and there's no fear
and from that place graciousness from that from that place of that happiness which comes from
feeling pain or suffering because of peep because you love people that happiness then grows into generosity which grows into all kinds of resources so you get the happiness from
loving people really pain because you love people then you get the happiness of being gracious with that then they get you happiness of the consequences of the graciousness which is all kinds of resources to to help people with you get these three kinds of happiness all born of compassion which then gives rise to this pain compassion driven pain
which you can also can apply yourself to
and
so what you can say just what it takes creek it can also say is this was positive is this what is possible this is possible
this is not commenting on somebody else this is commenting on what's possible for you that you could be this way
and and but you don't go looking for anything
you're completely surrounded already i gotta do is just
check out with the you system check out his in are you willing to work with everybody
and working with everybody includes are you willing to notice a day have a job to do with you too
and part of working with them as saying is is to say you feel like you're working with me do you want to work with me i want to work with you do you want to work with me
due to work with made you need to work with me you need me to work with you
try you know check it out with them that's part of working with them
sometimes seems like they don't want to
but you ever response to that what is it you do ever response what is it what is it what is it it's there
and are you operate with that response and are you honest about it i have response to you telling me you don't want to work with me but not to manipulate you purchased to give you my response which and here it is
which is upright way of delivering your response like got a response and you can lean into it or you can or you can just say here it is
it's a gift to really is a gift or which might operate presence with my response i give i give it as a gift not as a manipulation i have no expectation being upright means i give gifts i give my response but no expectation
we can learn this people can learn this humans can learn this you can learn this bodhisattvas one learn this and some of them do wanting to learn it is the start
then
then start practicing in the first practice after you just after you desire
to be open and work with all beings
the first practice is is been gracious is giving it's the first practice then comes ethics
then comes patients
then comes enthusiasm exertion and comes concentration and finally wisdom
and they're not necessarily in that order
but it's usually good to start with with giving which is very close to the being upright
if you're opera you'll notice you start to notice you're giving things to people namely you're giving your response to everybody
and if your upright you're giving without with no expectation
giving no expectation gay
christine
having your daughter what
yes

i would say she's deluded a news do you don't you don't see it but you when you look at her you can see how responsive she is and you can see how she shows you how responsive you are to her
so infants they themselves do not understand how responsive they are they are and you can see it they demonstrated perfectly but they are unaware of it
they have to grow up and be trained to be aware
are being like they used to be
and everybody's actually like an infant but we have to rediscover that we have discover how we change infant you know as you know they go from agony ecstasy back to agony back to ecstasy constantly tremendous changes paul the time and then that continues for a while and gradually is damp
down so that we go through a day sometimes we go through day were in agony all day but we don't switch back and forth
actually we do which don't notice it
whereas infant you can see it but they're not aware i don't think except
it's rare ones baby body softwares are actually aware there are some people who has children know this
but most children demonstrate this responsiveness just incredibly beautifully i mean just it's easy for it's a lot of people to see this amazing responsiveness and it's amazing how yeah amazing responsibility they have and amazing openness
and part of what they have to learn actually part of what you have to learn in order to
actually in order for certain
on neural neural development to occur is you have to learn to modulate your openness
and if it's very important interaction and half starts happening
i think around six months where are the baby starts to notice the
we're basically you could say the the dice is actually the dilation of the caregivers eyes
that when the caregiver looks at looks at the child with it you know with a sense of your just the most wonderful thing
when the baby sees that that kind of attention that kind of light coming through thy they become they can become positively aroused
and in response to that they smile and also their eyes dilate
and then when the caregiver sees that the caregiver smiles more to and their eyes dilate more and the baby see more of this light in the nate become more excited and the caregivers mom can i get more more more more excited and in that state of high expectations certain neural processes are triggered
and they only get triggered and is very intense positive effect however the baby has as to also has some point stop that
they ever get to a certain maximum level they have to be of learn how to turn it off so what they do as it look away
from this from this intensely
interested adult person looking at them with all it
warmth you know they turn away and they learned to modulate it that way
so they so they they know how to together with the other person get in this state of tremendously highly
positive effect which is necessary for neural development but also going with that is they have to learn how to self regulate it and sense of self develops with this
it's so they have to go through this but they're not aware of this
usually
yes read the difference between openness responsiveness that a baby demonstrates in the responsiveness of the boys soccer is
the baby can skillfully
because they have that
i think babies can act skillfully i think when babies when babies cry out when they're too hot or too cold i think that skillful
well i have it's zero
if i say we're
come to dinner yes in her response next i hate you know i hate you yes she's been very she's acting responsibly
she's responding to responding yes and was real perfect that's not skillful that's very hurtful she doesn't know that i'm not sure boy stop responding same way
i don't know either way i'm not sure a bodhisattva would respond in that way but
i'm not sure they wouldn't
respond that way
they might say the same thing
nothing stopping you see the consequences of his actions the body saw the body for would say it as a gift to her father
which it is actually a gift to her father which your father may or may not be able to see as a gift but the bodhisattva would understand it was a gift she would not be trying to manipulate her father she was just be giving him a gift for him to enjoy in the form of i hate you
father was a body shot but he also realize that this was a gift even if the child was not a body sought for so body cyprus are those who are aware that what they're doing is giving
and bodhisattvas are aware of what is given is a gift or what they're receiving as a gift so as possible that the child will be saying the child bodhisattva would be saying i hate you daddy and and apparent boy support would would say thank you
in the child would say you're put good dad
but but i'd have to be further investigation to find out what your daughter's up to

open right open to the risk to how you how you and share doing this is inconceivably wonderful dance together
open to that and in order to be open to that and received this because you're practicing you're practicing all virtues with her you're definitely in the mud with her
and she's there with you are you upright
flexible harmonious and honest with her if you are you'll be able to see that this is a baby buddha
you will see it
but as she can learn this from you because she she may need you to teach her that she will be able to see that to sunday
easy for me to say
i just want to mention that on
i don't think i did before
in this ah munir more china sutra the boy sought for other loki touch far as the buddha ah
for what reason do you say that that among all living beings the birth of a bodhisattva is most sublime
sublime
you know how i use the word sublime
i like the were sublime rather than the word excellent because sublime means hi
but sublime awesome is uplifting
the birth of body is most uplifting so why do you say
that among all living beings the birth of bodhisattvas is most uplifting and a buddhist says for four reasons one is bodhisattvas establish exceedingly pure roots of virtue to
they
intentionally choose with conscious discernment their birth is by it is intentionally chosen by conscious discernment they intentionally choose to be born in the world of suffering
because of penetrating insight
it's by insight actually they decide to be born in the mud and they and also they they in the past and end in their birthday develop good routes also a third reason that their birth as good as their their their compassion protects sentient beings
and the fourth reason
is that because of these previous three because they be there are free of affliction and i can help other beings become free of affliction
so this issue of
how do we find a spirit that's willing to be born into
such situations as being a two year old and living with a two year old
are being a three year old and living with a three year old are being a ten year old and living with a ten year old
are being fifty year old living with a fifty year old and so on
the birth that comes from consciously choosing that not just sort of like well that sounds like fun but by actually seeing what's going on and say yes i wanna live there and practice there
such a birth is most sublime
this is the body sa propre
said enough for tonight

may are intentionally equally extend to every beating and place with the true merit put his way
these are numberless i try to save them delusions are inexhaustible i know to end them dharma gates are boundless i vow to him to them buddha's way
yea is unsurpassable i vow to become