I kind of wish people could see what happens in Doksan, besides the people who are already in the room, it's very interesting, the Dharma that comes forth in those meetings. Someone said to me one time that she came to a Dharma talk here, and before she came to the Dharma talk, she had had a discussion with me, and then in the Dharma talk, after that discussion, she could tell that I was using our conversation as an example of some teaching, or some truth, and she felt the whole lecture was about our

[01:07]

conversation, that the whole lecture was about our relationship. And then later she listened to the tape and she thought, no, it wasn't really true, that the whole lecture was about that conversation, but that's how it felt to her. And then she thought, maybe some other people felt that way too, that the whole Dharma talk was about them, or them and or their relationship with the speaker. And I say, it is, it actually is about that, all of us, whether people think so or not. But if I'm talking to someone in that little room, the person in the room may think, oh

[02:11]

yeah, we're talking about our relationship, but some of the people outside the room may not feel that I'm talking about my relationship with them, or outside the room, whether what they're doing outside the room is about their relationship with me and the other person in the room. But it is. Recently, someone said to me that, I think, within the Buddhist family, within the different traditions, there are some other traditions that this person has experience of, which she appreciates these other traditions, in particular she appreciates traditions that practice loving-kindness meditation, metta, and that practice exchanging self for other.

[03:24]

She feels that, she appreciates the compassionate ambience of such practice centers and the people who practice in there. And she said, but in Zen I feel a little, I don't know, a little bit uncomfortable, because I don't see the practice of metta, I don't see the practice of exchanging self for other. And I said that there's nothing about Zen which excludes or in any way disparages any wholesome practice. Some Zen students probably have, over the centuries, and are still practicing metta, loving-kindness, actually practicing it in the formal sense, but also in the informal sense of being friendly people. Some may be practicing exchanging self for other.

[04:26]

Some may be practicing incense offering, bowing, chanting Buddha's name, confession and repentance and reciting scriptures. Some may be practicing, you know, the Nichiren practice of Namo Myoho Renge Kyo, Namo Myoho Renge Kyo. Some may be practicing Namo Amida Buddha, that's reciting the name of Buddha. Some may be doing sitting meditation, and so on. The so-called disciples of Zen could be doing any wholesome practice and be in accord with the Bodhisattva precepts, or any practice, any kind of practice. Practicing environmental protection, being a Democrat or a Republican, people could be doing any practice that accords with the Bodhisattva precepts, and it would be not at all, no problem

[05:37]

with Zen. And I think the person said, oh, I feel relieved that I can practice metta, and that's no contradiction with being a Zen student, it really isn't. But what occurred to me was a kind of a somewhat coarse term came to my mind, or a phrase came to my mind, that what Zen is, is actually the quality control in all practices. Zen isn't Namo Myoho Renge Kyo, Zen isn't Namo Amida Butsu, Zen isn't sitting with your legs crossed, Zen isn't walking serenely across the face of the earth, Zen isn't being really friendly or unfriendly, Zen is the quality control on whatever you're doing.

[06:43]

So Zen students can do any practice, but the Zen part of the Zen student is the quality control on the practice. But really, that's the Buddhist part of the practice. To say Namo Myoho Renge Kyo isn't really a Buddhist practice in and of itself. A non-Buddhist, a Muslim, a Jew, a Catholic could say Namo Myoho Renge Kyo, it wouldn't be a Buddhist practice. But if they said Namo Myoho Renge Kyo, applying the Zen quality control standards, they would say Namo Myoho Renge Kyo with no gaining idea. They would say it without trying to get anything out of life. It's the no gaining idea that makes whatever practice you're doing.

[07:48]

The Buddha way. So the Buddha sat cross-legged, the Buddha gave Dharma talks, the Buddha ate, the Buddha slept, the Buddha did various things. But the thing that made the Buddha's activity Buddha's activity was that there were no outflows, as he said. There were no outflows in his behavior. That's the quality control. In other words, no outflows mean there was no view of gain or loss, and no concern with gain and loss. But if you do what people think of as a Buddhist practice like Namo Myoho Renge Kyo, or sit in the posture of a Buddha, or do a Zen practice period, if you do that practice period, but you're doing it to get something, it's not a Buddhist practice. It's a worldly affair. So I don't like the word control, maybe a better way is, Zen is the purification of

[08:51]

all practices. Zen is the emptying of all practices. Zen is removing the dust from all practices. And what's the dust? The dust is to make the practice external to yourself, or the dust is to set yourself apart from Buddha, or to set some sentient being separate from Buddha. So the Zen part of the practice is to purify the practice of dust, purify the practice of any duality, purify the practice of any trying to get something from it. That's the Zen part, but it's also from the night of Buddha's enlightenment, the thing that characterized his yogic attainment, as in something new, was that he purified his yoga practice. He ended outflows.

[09:54]

He ended practice to get something from life. He entered the practice of the realization of our true nature. And our true nature is that we are not separate from Buddha, that we are not separate from the great earth and all living beings. As it says in the text that we recite at noon service, when you express the Buddha's seal or the Buddha mudra in the three actions, three actions of body, body postures, speech and thought, when your thought expresses the Buddha's seal, what's the Buddha's seal?

[10:55]

The Buddha's seal is living beings and Buddhas are not two. When you take a posture and you express with that posture the non-duality of all things, when you speak and the speech is expressing the non-duality of all things, when you think and your thought expresses that that thought is not separate from the Buddhas, then the whole phenomenal world becomes non-duality and the entire sky turns into enlightenment. This is the Zen part or the Buddhist part. Everybody, whether Buddhist, Muslim, Christian, Jew, everybody walks and talks and thinks, but no matter what religion you belong to, if your religion is sealed, stamped, certified

[12:05]

by non-duality, it's the Buddha's seal. When Dogen Zenji is commenting on the three treasures, he says, the Buddha treasure is unsurpassed, complete, perfect enlightenment. The Dharma treasure is its purity and freedom from dust. The Dharma, the truth, is the truth that the Buddha is pure and free of dust. Free of dust means free of being separate from anything. The Buddha is the Buddha and

[13:06]

the Dharma says the Buddha is not separate from anything. It's free of dust, of externality. A person said to me also that, you know, I love Zen, but it's a little too masculine for me. The forms are kind of rigid and something like that. And when this person said that, I thought, oh yeah, the surface of Zen, or especially Soto Zen, the surface of, well, not just Soto Zen, but anyway, the surface of Zen is quite firm and fully packed, and it is mild.

[14:07]

The old people got that one. By the way, I called my wife and said, I have a confession to make. I said something, I have to confess to you. So I confessed, you know, someone said, if your wife dies, blah, blah, blah, and I said, well, she already died. I lost that cute little chickadee that I married, but now I'm married to this beautiful old lady. And she said, that wasn't too bad. What came to my mind is this hexagram, the double-split hexagram that's referred to in the Precious Mirror Samadhi. It's like the double-split hexagram. What's it? It's, I don't know, I'm not sure what it is, but it might be our Buddha nature, our true nature.

[15:11]

It's like the double-split hexagram. The double-split hexagram is made of two trigrams. A trigram is a graphic form of three lines, and the top line is a hexagram, and the bottom line whichever way you want to come at it, the top line is a solid, a solid, you could say rigid, firm, masculine line. The middle line is a line that has an opening in the middle, and the bottom line is another solid, masculine line. This trigram is an image of Soto Zen meditation, Soto Zen practice. It is a feminine center. The core of the meditation is feminine.

[16:21]

It has an opening in it, and it's receptive, it's soft, it's flexible, it's vulnerable, it's tender. It's the center of the Samadhi of the Buddha, the feminine center of the Soto Zen Samadhi. But it's surrounded, it's surrounded by a firm, strong container. It's surrounded by strong, protective, supportive, masculine structure. It's surrounded by big buildings with strong pillars, and ceilings that have been redone to help us be protected

[17:26]

from earthquakes, and huge roofs, and lovely gardens, and stainless steel pots, and fire, and water. It's surrounded by form, and not only form but the possibility of life. Possibility of committing to the form, and by committing to these firm, powerful, protective forms, there can be this completely open vulnerability at the center of the Samadhi, where we can actually receive, we can actually open to the support of the entire universe for our life. Because of this strong container, we can dare to face how vulnerable we are to all beings, and our vulnerability is the same as our support. We are vulnerable to be supported

[18:33]

by all beings. It's very difficult to open to this without a strong container, and this container, I like to stress, it's a bilaterally created container, bilaterally created container. It's a container that the students and the teachers create together. You come to the Zen Center, you think the container is already there, right? I came to the Zen Center, they already had the pillars, and the roofs, and the gardens. You may think that, but that is not correct. The Zen Center was born at the same moment that you were, not before. You may need to think the Zen Center has structures and containers there before you arrived, you

[19:35]

may need to think that in order to dare to go to the Zen Center, but most people actually, if they think the Zen Center is before they arrived, they're scared of the Zen Center. Not most, but anyway, a lot of people. As long as you think that the structure is set up by somebody else, you don't yet understand the nature of the effective, the fruitful container. The fruitful container is a container that we create together. The mountains, the rivers, and all the Zen Centers were born at the same moment as each of us, not before, and not after. When you come to the Zen Center, you're born together with it, and then when you enter into containers for practice, in order for those containers to work fully, you need to be responsible for them. You need to contribute to their

[20:36]

creation and their maintenance. It isn't the teacher that sets them up and takes care of them. Not in the Zen, because we're trying to realize reality, not perpetuate childhood. We're trying to be childlike and have fun building these containers in our little sandbox, but we're responsible children, so then we maybe say, not very good children. So, without this structure, and I would say at the right time, without the commitment to the structure, we cannot fully open to the inconceivably profound feminine center of the Buddha mind. We can't stand to be vulnerable without some container. It's too much to

[21:49]

expect of a human being. But, and also, even a container that somebody else builds, we won't dare to open up all the way. But if we have some say, some contribution and responsibility to the container, there's a possibility that we can open to the vulnerable, creative, flexible process of our life. There's a possibility. And all these forms, these masculine forms are built up and created together for the purpose of helping people realize this Samadhi, this precious, mere Samadhi, to promote this place at the center where no words reach, this place where no defilement can touch beyond all duality, and in realizing this place, let

[22:51]

this place stand up and express itself in this world. And when I contemplated mentioning the bilateral character of building this container, this masculine container around this feminine center, I thought, people say, well, you can't do this with children, and I thought to myself in this conversation I was having, yes, I think you can do it with children. It's different, of course, but it's also different with each person. That's why the institution and the teacher can't set up the container and say, come on in, you guys, it's already been built. Zen Center, in some sense, was an important ingredient in the building of a park across the street from Zen Center in the city, but we understood from people that if you don't get the people in the neighborhood to contribute

[23:54]

their ideas, they may not want to take care of it or protect it. They might even trash it, you know, like, oh, these white people built this nice park in the middle of our neighborhood. Let's go, you know, trash their park. Who do they think they are, building their park in our neighborhood? But if you invite them to build the park, then maybe they say, this is our park, even though white people were involved. So, let's take care of it. And they did take care of it, for years, anyway. One time, when my wife was a young chickadee, she suggested to me that I, since I was going to be spending a couple of months with my daughter while she was away in Europe, she

[24:55]

suggested to me that I wean our daughter of her pacifier. And I think I said something like, yes sir, or yes ma'am. And so we went on this trip to Esalen, the two of us, and then when we got there, when I remember it, at night I would read to her, and then sometimes when I would read to her, she would just go to sleep. Other times I would read to her and she would say, can I have my pacifier? And then one time she said that, I said, your mom wants you to stop using the pacifier. And she said something like, I want to use my pacifier, Dad. It helps me go to sleep. And I thought, that's kind of reasonable. I mean, what do adults do to go to sleep? Seeing that little piece of plastic isn't that bad, I thought, oh, okay. So I let her use the pacifier. You can do things together

[26:06]

with children. Babies can say, even before they talk, they can give you some feedback that says, you know, the container you're making for me is not working very well. It's too cold. It's too hot. There's not enough food in it. You know, they express themselves, they say, I don't go for this container. I don't feel relaxed here. I'm having trouble being receptive. Listen to me, please. And we do. We say, okay. So we keep adjusting the container, the support system, because they're giving us feedback that they don't agree with this setup. And so we work it out together, actually, with the baby often. Sometimes we don't listen. And then they feel like, hey, this is not cooperative. This is not bilateral. This is being imposed upon me. And the baby has trouble relaxing and opening to their life. But of course, you know, it's quite common that parents really do want to listen to the baby and understand what the baby wants and make a container in which they can relax and be happy. And when they start talking, actually, at that point we sometimes

[27:15]

start thinking this is the end of bilateral life. It's time for unilateral adult control. Sometimes we do that, but it's not really necessary in Soto Zen, child rearing. You can respect children from birth to death. You can listen to them. And you can respect adults too. You can invite bilateral, cooperative establishment of the structure in which we can become free. So she used her pacifier and one night I came home from giving a talk and she was being cared for by somebody else and she was really upset because she had bit

[28:19]

through her pacifier. She, you know, punctured the little rubber thing. So it didn't function. It was like this limp, broken piece of rubber, not very soothing to suck on. And she said, Daddy, buy me another one. I said, well, I'm willing to buy it, but, you know, it is ten o'clock at night or whatever and we're 50 miles from the nearest store and I'm not going to drive 100 miles tonight to buy this pacifier. I'm sorry. And she could, you know, she was three, she could understand that, or three and a half. She said, oh, okay. And she went to sleep, as I read during, she went to sleep without her pacifier. She said, if you remind me during the day, I'll drive 150 miles round trip, 100 miles, I'll drive to get it for you or get somebody to get it for you that's going to the store. The day went by. She didn't remind me. I forgot. Then the night she says, I want my pacifier. I said, oh, you didn't

[29:20]

tell me. Tell me. If you tell me tomorrow, I'll get it. Next day she didn't tell me again. I forgot. Next night she said, I want my pacifier. I said, well, you didn't remind me again. So she went to sleep. And that was the last time she asked for a pacifier. And I still have that pacifier. It looks kind of like a mummy. And it's not just Soto Zen, it's all the Zen schools and also Shakyamuni Buddha in some sense emphasize this, this receptive place that's purified of any duality, where we

[30:29]

can stand to open to non-duality, where we can stand to live a life, to live our life fully, which includes our life which words do not reach, where separation does not reach. The Sixth Ancestor had a disciple named Huairang. Huairang came to visit him and the Sixth Ancestor says, what is it that thus comes? In other words, what is the Tathagata? What is the Buddha Tathagata? But also, what is it that just happened? Either way, what just happened

[31:35]

or what is the Buddha? Same question, from the point of view of the Sixth Ancestor. And Huairang, recently arrived, said, to speak of it as something does not reach it. To speak of what's happening right now as something does not reach it. To say that it's this does not reach it. And the Sixth Ancestor said, well, is there some way to practice and realize it? And Huairang said, I don't say that you can't practice and realize it, just that it

[32:41]

cannot be defiled. And the Sixth Ancestor said, this non-defiled way is what all Buddhas are taking care of. Now you are thus, and I am thus too. This is the basic. Quality check on the practice. And it goes through all the ancestors, all of them are taking care of this non-defiled way, watching carefully what's happening and letting go of any dualistic projections on our life. Letting go of those tendencies to try to get

[33:56]

something from this precious life, rather than say, thank you. Today is the beautiful old lady's birthday, and it's also the first day that my daughter teaches school in L.A. as her classroom, her little kids. It's her day. This is the first time. She's been training for this for 28 years, getting ready for this great day of her taking care of these kids as the teacher rather than teacher's assistant or whatever. She's always loved babies. She's always loved kids. She's been taking care of them, but

[35:01]

now this is her professional debut today. She's down there right now probably in her classroom. And on the way to school, she wished her mother happy birthday from the L.A. freeways. And her mother says, this is a big day, Thea. You know, this is, congratulations, sweetheart, this is a big day. She said, yeah, it is, but I really feel a lot of pain at what's going on in the world, in Israel, Iraq, and in Texas, where mothers of soldiers who have been killed are doing a kind of, I don't know what you want to call it, vigil near George Bush's ranch, saying, you know, why did you

[36:07]

send my kids to die for this? And how come you don't send your own if you think it's that important? And that's not so much a problem. My daughter doesn't find a problem with that. But some of the neighbors are getting fed up with these people, getting impatient with their vigil. And some of them are driving their trucks over the crosses of the children's, you know, crosses signifying these fallen soldiers. And my daughter feels a lot of pain over this kind of thing, which of course some other people do also. But her mother said, today, you have a chance to do something about this, by your work. And she said, I don't know, this is a great opportunity for you to contribute to the world in a different way. So, there it is, a wonderful practice opportunity for her. And then, hopefully Huayran

[37:22]

will be in the room and will check to make sure she's not trying to get something out of it. That she's just taking care of these children because it's good to take care of children. She's teaching children how to be kind and respectful to each other, not trying to get something, but because that's good. She doesn't really want to be a Zen student, but she did grow up in this valley. So we'll see how deep the Dharma has sunk in to her and to us. The Dharma, which is our true nature's purity and freedom from dust. Our true nature is that there's not the slightest bit of separation between us, that you and I and all the Buddhas

[38:28]

are just one mind and there's nothing outside. Anything you'd like to express? Yes, Karin? How are we one mind with them? You are one mind. You graciously are supported by them. Your life is supported by them and their life

[39:30]

is supported by you. That's how you're one. You have no life aside from them. If people are unkind, it affects you. If they're kind, it affects you. You may not be aware of it, but that's how you're one with it. Nobody does anything on this planet separate from you, really. People act differently than you, from you, with you, but never separate. Those who realize this are called Buddhas. Those who do not are called living beings, or mountains or rivers, but actually the mountains and rivers do realize it. Sentient beings don't get it. However, even though they don't get it, they're still not separate from those who do get it. The Buddhas do not say, we are separate from you ignorant ones. They don't say that. The Buddhas say, we are not separate from you who do not understand that we're

[40:32]

not separate from you. Even though you do not understand it, we are, in fact. That way. And when you realize that you're not separate, then you're just like the Buddhas. Before that, you're different, but not separate. And our best chance to make positive contribution comes from that realization. However, we can make positive contributions even before we thoroughly understand non-duality. We can still be somewhat helpful. Yes, Charlene? I think I'm settled enough now to finish asking the question that I wanted to yesterday for the hilarity.

[41:36]

So I was driving at, if you experienced some tremendous loss that shook your emotional resilience, something as grave as the loss of a spouse or the loss of position and community and the acknowledgment of you, and this is a two-part question, do you think you would still take refuge in the support of all the Buddhas? That's the first part. Well, let me clarify the first part. In your story, did you say, if there was a great loss and I lost my emotional something? Yes, if you had something that happened that shook your emotional resilience, like something that was just shattered, like the container just got shattered.

[42:42]

The container got shattered? Well, in some ways, emotional resilience would be a container, as would be some of the forms and structures. You mean, part of the container might be the practice of the bodhisattva practice? Bodhisattva precepts, which include being emotionally resilient, is that what you mean? That you commit to, for example, I guess being possessive is not emotionally very resilient. Does that make sense? So if you're committed to practice non-possessiveness, then you're committed to being resilient and flexible around your possessions, like, can I have your car? I'll consider it. Or, yeah, sure, it's yours. Can I have it back now? So let's say that as a result of getting slugged real hard by some big change, at that

[43:53]

point I tighten up and start becoming possessive. In other words, I slip out of my ... I don't follow my commitment to the precepts. Now, at that time, the container, however, hasn't been hurt at all. I'm still in the container of the precepts, like, oops, I'm not practicing the precepts. Or my commitment to the precepts would still sort of make me feel funny about suddenly becoming tense and possessive and defensive. But let's say I did start feeling, is that what you mean, like I started feeling tense, possessive and defensive if some big change happened? Is that what you mean? It works? So at that time, I would practice, what would I practice then, do you think? Patience.

[44:53]

Patience, yeah, hopefully. I mean, excuse me, not what would I practice, what is the container vowing to practice? What is the vow of the container vowing to practice on an occasion like that? One of the things that we vow to practice in this container might be patience with the shock, and also patience with the tense response to the shock. Patience with the pain of the loss, and patience with the reactive tensing up with the loss. Patience with my unskillful response to the loss. That's part of what I would vow to do, I have vowed to do. What else might I, what other practice might come if I was lucky? No, no more coming? Huh? I'll tell you, I'll tell you. Confession and repentance, I would

[45:58]

say, hopefully I would say, hey, this big loss came, I just got run over by this huge change, I'm smashed to smithereens, and I tensed up, I confess I tensed up, and I don't like to tense up when I get smashed, I like to respond to being smashed. But just a second later I said, relax. I recovered from that ungratefulness. I didn't say, I wasn't like, thank you very much, I have no complaint whatsoever. What is next? I didn't say, I'm going to confess. I kind of said, no thank you, but then I said, relax, ungrateful one. And from then on, all this wonderful stuff, then stuff happened which was more easy to say thank you. So when the big wave comes that crushes, and not only crushes the body, but crushes

[47:09]

even maybe the nice response to the crush, there's still a practice to deal with that called confession. And there's other compassion practices too, like being generous about it. Like, boy, I'm glad this happened to me rather than somebody else. I'm glad the truck hit me. I'm glad somebody else still has their job. That's wonderful. Does that take care of the first part of your question? I lost the second part. Yesterday I was sitting in a vendor. When a kind person appeared before me with a tray

[48:23]

of cookies and jewel-like fruits, and inquired that I should choose for myself. And I had no idea how to choose without a gaining idea. So I took it upon myself to give him a pleasure. So you do know how to choose with a gaining idea. You're an expert, great. But you don't know how to choose without a gaining idea? I do. You take the closest one. And my version of it would be, you choose without a gaining idea by asking Linda Ruth how to do it. In other words, the way you choose without a gaining idea is to do it

[49:23]

with everybody. If you think you can choose without a gaining idea, you're wrong. You cannot choose without a gaining idea, and actually you can't even choose with a gaining idea. But if you think you can choose with a gaining idea, that's the same as choosing with a gaining idea. You can choose with a gaining idea, but not by yourself. Everybody supports you to choose by a gaining idea, and therefore you have become an expert at it, with our support. Now to become an expert, however, at choosing without a gaining idea, you need to open your mind to choosing together with us. If you include all of us in your choosing, if you ask Daigon and Linda Ruth and Timo, you know, well, what should we do here? They'll interact with you and pretty soon you'll wind up with something or nothing, one or the other.

[50:29]

It'll happen. And there it will be. And at that point, if you try to figure out whether you actually got something or not, then again, if you invite them in to try to adjudicate whether you got something or not, whether you gained something, again, you will not get anything. So doing things together with everyone, you're free of gaining idea. Letting go of gaining idea, you open up to doing things with everyone. If you have gaining idea, you don't want to include everybody in your activity, because some people might not support the gaining idea. So either way, open up and do things together, that ends gaining idea or end gaining idea and open up to do things together. In this case, however, since you couldn't figure out how to end gaining idea and still get your cookie, I would suggest just ask Timo, you know, to pick it for you. And then he'll ask Daigon and Linda Ruth and

[51:37]

probably Neil will ask Jennifer. I don't know, Jennifer will ask Linda. And pretty soon we'll have quite a situation here. Yes, Jackie? Charlie? Charlie, I asked a question yesterday to our Alice and she had a wonderful answer for me. I don't know if you mind. I don't remember. I'll let it be. How these beings are suffering beings and they walk 70 miles away from the sea and their

[52:43]

life is so torturous that they continue to get there. And that's a beautiful metaphor for me. Together with the other penguins. So do Zen monks do look a little like penguins, don't they? Except we're not allowed to have that red stripe down our neck. Is it red and blue? And white? Huh? Orange? Caramel? May our intention equally extend to every being and place.

[53:57]

With the human umbrella's weight, beings are numberless. I vow to save them. Illusions are inexhaustible. I vow to end them. Normalities are boundless. I vow to enter them. Buddha's weight is unfathomable. I vow to become it.

[54:40]

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