There is a proposal that the touchstone of the Buddha way is that we are living within an awareness of receiving Buddha's compassion and passing it along. Receiving nurturance and support from all directions and expressing nurturance and support to every being we meet. And being one pointedly aware of such a situation can be the touchstone for our practice.

[01:12]

But if we walk around on the earth, the attention that's required to lift the feet and put them down and be balanced, the attention that's required for other daily activities is such that we may have some difficulty in remembering this, being mindful of this awareness, this self-fulfilling awareness while we're actually living our life. But still, if we can attend to our moment-by-moment functioning, it is possible that we might be able to simultaneously

[02:26]

remember the context in which the ancestors recommend we practice. It's kind of like, what's the point again? What did I... how did I want to live? Oh yeah, oh yeah, I wanted to live with an awareness of receiving support and compassion and love from all directions, from all the Buddhas that I understand or I've heard are practicing together with me. And I want that also to be conveyed to all, to all, to everything.

[03:30]

That was it. Now I remember. But then the next moment, if you throw me a ball and I catch it, I may, in the process of catching the ball you throw to me, take my eye off the main ball. So to keep my eye on the main ball while I'm playing with the other balls requires some training, particularly if you throw me a spitball or a hot potato. I may have trouble remembering as the hot potato is flying through the air towards my body. I see the potato, now wasn't there some other point? Oh yeah, it's embracing and sustaining me, and I'm going to embrace and sustain with it.

[04:34]

Yeah, that was it, and it was a good catch. I got two potatoes in one. The big potato and the little potato. So I feel good. Now yesterday, a statue of Bodhidharma was brought into the room and is still sitting here with us. And so I'm going to ask him a question. And today I brought in another item from the Doksan room. This is a reproduction of a painting.

[05:42]

Which I think was in an art book, which I think I bought. And I cut this out of the art book and framed it. Because, I don't know, something about this painting I love. And this painting loves me. This is a painting, I think it's by a Japanese painter named Sesshu, but I might be wrong. It's a painting, I think, of Bodhidharma. Again, he's got his, I mean, she's got her white robes on today, over her head again. And she also has a heavy beard in this picture.

[06:51]

And then there's another person in the picture. And this person, I think, it looks like it is his main, his successor Huika, who we call the second ancestor in China. It seems pretty clear that it's supposed to be Huika, because Huika's got a severed forearm and hand, which he's offering to Bodhidharma. So, you know, it's a non-violent tradition. And yet there's this story of this student coming to Bodhidharma, coming to Avalokiteshvara and saying, can I study with you? And Avalokiteshvara says, kind of like, I really don't have time for insincere people. Later, man. And so Huika cuts off his arm, or just happens to have an arm cut off,

[08:01]

and says, does this kind of, do you get the idea that I'm sincere? And Bodhidharma says, oh, okay. And this picture, although it's hard to see from a distance, around Bodhidharma's body there is kind of like a little, a little soft halo. Kind of, or it could be like just some warmth coming off his body in the cold cave. His kind of soft, butter-like body. And he doesn't seem to be smiling, and his very sincere disciple doesn't seem to be smiling. So, anyway, this is a picture of Zen romance.

[09:04]

Ancestral love. And this is a picture which is hanging in that room. I could have had some other pictures up, which I actually do, but this is one of them. And the second ancestor also has kind of a, his hair on his head and his face have grown out a bit. They're practicing together, these two. It looks to me like they're practicing together. I imagine that Bodhidharma is well-situated in the samadhi of embracing and sustaining his dear student,

[10:22]

and feeling embraced and sustained by his dear student. And the student is kind of, perhaps, maybe never even heard of this teaching yet, but he, somehow he wants to study with Bodhidharma. He wants to embrace and sustain Bodhidharma, and he wants Bodhidharma to embrace and sustain him. He doesn't yet understand that it's already going on. Or maybe he does, and he just wants to do it at closer range, and have Bodhidharma say, okay, okay, yeah, yeah, yeah, we are doing that together, I agree. I don't know. Anyway, I see this as a picture of practicing together. And asking to practice together, and saying, okay, I'll practice together.

[11:23]

Impermanent, unstable, unworthy of confidence beings, like me and you, are embracing and sustaining each other. I'm not worthy of confidence, because I'm a dependent co-arising. I can't keep myself going. I don't make myself happen, and I can't keep myself going. I'm not worthy of confidence. Neither are you. And the very reason for this is that I'm embracing and sustaining you, and you're embracing and sustaining me. That's why I'm not worthy of confidence. And why you're not.

[13:09]

The very fact that you're being so kind to me makes me undependable. Partly because you're doing such a lousy job of embracing and sustaining me. Just kidding. No, it's because you're doing such a good job that I'm undependable. And the way you do it, the way you do it, it's changing all the time. So I'm changing all the time. And you're changing all the time. However, if you want to, you can actually go ahead and trust people, and have confidence in them, if you want to. But not because they're worthy of it, but just because you like to live dangerously. Just make the ride more exciting, like, Okay, this person's going to be the same for ten minutes.

[14:13]

Try that with somebody, and that'll be very exciting. Try to get them to not change for ten minutes. But you could also just give that up, and enjoy people. Enjoy, appreciate people, and appreciate yourself, who are unstable. Be devoted to beings that are uncontrollable. Be devoted to beings, and give up trying to control them. Give up trying to control them. Live together with them. In mutual, simultaneous, imperceptible assistance. Live together in mutual beneficence.

[15:18]

Live together in mutual life creation. Try to do that while you're doing ordinary things together, like talking, receiving and serving food, making appointments, etc. See if you can carry on daily life, and simultaneously be aware of this world of dependent co-arising, this world of being created together, and living together.

[16:19]

So I brought in the picture, the statue of Bodhidharma, and the picture of Bodhidharma and his disciple, and then I looked up on the altar, and I see this big Manjushri, and not so big Shakyamuni Buddha, and I thought, what are these statues for? In some sense they're to worship, but also in some sense they kind of remind me of something. They remind me that Manjushri Bodhisattva is practicing with me all the time. And also, so then I think, well, am I taking care of Manjushri Bodhisattva? Am I taking care of Buddha? Is Buddha taking care of me? I think Buddha is taking care of me, I think Manjushri is taking care of me, and I think I'm taking care of Manjushri.

[17:26]

Right now I think that, but sometimes I forget to think that. Sometimes I forget that I'm caring for the Bodhisattva of perfect wisdom, and the Bodhisattva of perfect wisdom is caring for me. Now people, we have these statues of people, we don't have to bring them into Zen, they walk in by themselves, and then they move around. So we have statues of all of you to remind me that you're taking care of me and I'm taking care of you. But I can forget when I see you that you're taking care of me and I'm taking care of you, and I can forget when I look at Manjushri that he's taking care of me and I'm taking care of him, I can forget that. And I think other people can too. And then people can act various ways,

[18:29]

and then you can say, well, since they're acting that way, they're not taking care of me and I'm not taking care of them. That's not what I've heard of as the criterion of our practice. I didn't hear anything about that. To have the awareness of how you're not taking care of people and they're not taking care of you. I haven't heard of that practice, that awareness, that samadhi as the criterion of our practice. I heard of another one, which I told you about. That everybody you meet, you are embracing and sustaining. Everybody you meet is conveying Buddha's compassion to you. Even though they may not know about it or be aware of it, they are. And it's bouncing back from them, back from you, onto them, back and forth.

[19:39]

We're mutually, simultaneously blessing each other, but are we tuned into the blessing process? Do we remember it? Sometimes. And sometimes we forget. When we forget, we're encouraged by the ancestors to reveal and disclose our forgetfulness. And by the power of this confession and repentance, we'll melt away the root of forgetting. Anyway, this is a picture of two people who, at some point or other, spent quite a bit of time remembering that they were practicing together. Bodhidharma was able to remember, I'm embracing and sustaining this guy, and he's embracing and sustaining me.

[20:41]

He could remember. And the ancestor, his successor, learned to remember it too. So we're practicing together, hopefully, or we're devoted to practicing together in the midst of this awareness that we're practicing together. And we notice that we forget, and then we confess that we forget, and then we return to practicing, to being aware that we're practicing together. We are practicing together, but we forget. Again, because we have better things to do than remember such a boring story. It's not boring when you first hear it, but to do it over and over, my God, I can think of more interesting stories than that. Like, how about, I am embracing and sustaining some people, but not others.

[21:45]

Isn't that more interesting? Or I switch from embracing this half of the room to the other half of the room. And a few of these people are helping me, like three of them are helping me, and 70 are not. Or one is helping me, just one. And 72 are not helping me. And who is the one? More interesting story. And then you can switch all the numbers. So we have better things to do than just simply remember everybody is helping me and I'm helping everybody. That would require too much patience. So simple. So boring. So un-egocentric. Matter of fact, no center. Just a magical appearance,

[22:45]

which is a result of support of many things other than what it is. A thing appearing that doesn't make itself happen and doesn't keep itself happening, but exists only out of the kindness of other beings and which contributes to the existence of other beings. So Bodhidharma is practicing together with Huayka, all the Buddhas practicing together with all the Buddhas, and all the Buddhas practicing together with all their successors. And there's one more thing, and that is that the way they practice together in this awareness is they practice together like a fool, like an idiot. Like a fool, like an idiot. These beings are actually fairly intelligent. And their intelligence is now being applied in a good way. But you don't have to be super intelligent to want and be aware of nurturing and supporting other beings.

[23:53]

You don't have to be real smart to think of that. Maybe you have to be a mammal, I don't know. But anyway, I don't know if reptiles can think of that. But mammals can actually care for other mammals. I have a 36-year-old daughter who lives in Australia. She worked in a small house where she helped take care of, she helped nurture and support people who have what we call Down syndrome. And I went to visit her there one time when she was at work, and I was coming up to the house, and this man came running out of this house, and he looked like, I think he was about, he was rather old, I think he was around, he looked like about 50 years old. But he had the Down syndrome facial look, and he came running up to me and said, Hi, welcome!

[24:55]

You know, I'd never met him before. But this guy was dumb enough to come running out of the house and embrace me like I was his long-lost brother. I don't know if he put his arm around me or whatever, but anyway, he was really, he gave me one of the warmest welcomes a stranger has ever given me. People with higher intelligence can also do that, but it's harder for them apparently. They don't do it very often. So these intelligent beings who are practicing together in this samadhi, they're encouraged to practice as though they were stupid. Stupid how? Stupid like, not able to measure gain and loss.

[26:00]

Duh! Gain and loss, huh? What? Huh? Sometimes, these bodhisattvas, right, these supremely wise and kind beings are sometimes said to be like scarecrows. They sit out there in the field of beings, kind of like... How long have we been out here now? How much longer is this going to go on? Am I going to get promoted soon? Am I going to get demoted? Or another image that's sometimes used is like, instead of a scarecrow, a scare deer.

[27:07]

In Japan, they have these, here too, they have like these bamboo tubes that water runs into, and then when they get filled up, they tilt, and then the water runs out of them, and then the water runs out of them. And then they tilt back, and they go, boop! Boop! You know, if there's any deer eating the plants in the garden, they go, boop! Boop! Bodhisattvas are like that, you know. Like what? The deer or the bamboo? The bamboo. Well, like the bamboo with the water and the boop! It's not just the bamboo. It's the bamboo and the water and the boop! There's activity there, but it's like not very smart. You can't measure gain and loss. So to live and either being, like you can't measure gain and loss, like you can't or you don't calculate gain and loss.

[28:12]

But you're in this context of being devoted to everybody you meet and receiving the devotion of everybody you meet. You're in that context. You're seeing that and remembering that, or you're remembering that and remembering that until you see it, with no gain and loss running through it. Real dumb. So that's the way Bodhidharma and Huayka practice together. Can you look at the picture? Can you look at the picture? Sure. Anybody else want to come up and look at the picture? So Bodhidharma says to Huayka,

[29:16]

outwardly cease all involvements. Or you could say cease all involvements with outwardness. Then there will be no clogging or choking or gasping in the mind. With a mind like a wall, thus you enter the way. With a mind like a scarecrow, with a mind which is giving up, viewing the world in terms of gain and loss, you enter the way. And

[30:24]

shouldn't I say that Huayka worked together with Bodhidharma in the Samadhi for seven years on this instruction. And then he, he said to Bodhidharma, this disciple has given up all involvements. I'm finally practicing together with you free of the view of gain and loss. That's the way I am now. And Bodhidharma says, you haven't slipped into could say

[31:26]

nihilism, have you? And Huayka said, no. And Bodhidharma, one translation would say, Bodhidharma says, what is your state? Or prove it. It's in our translation. And Huayka says, I'm always clearly aware, but no words reach it. So on one side I want to talk with you about the seven years between the instruction of, well, we're together now, right? You just practice

[32:28]

being free of gain and loss in this practice. I'll practice with you. I'll be here too, not measuring gain and loss about us and you. And I want you to practice not getting involved in gain and loss about us and you and me. Let's see if we can practice that way. Let's see if we can turn into scarecrows today or someday, and thus we will enter the way together. His instruction actually is a little bit tricky because he said, thus you will enter the way So I'd like to talk to you about this entering the way in the seven years, but on the other side I want to talk to you about the end of the story. So I'd like to start with the end of the story,

[33:33]

if I may, and then talk to you about the seven years between the instruction and the end. I'm always clearly aware, yet no words can reach it. And I said to you, I think, yesterday that in the illumination of the Buddha there's no traces of consciousness. Consciousness cannot reach the Buddha's illumination. There's no traces of consciousness there. But consciousness can be illuminated. And

[34:37]

but I think what's meant here by consciousness is consciousness which knows objects, consciousness which recognizes things. So there can be awareness in illumination, but no traces of awareness in illumination. There can be awareness, but there's no recognition of illumination in illumination, and that's what makes it illumination itself. But the illumination can illuminate consciousness which sees objects. So the consciousness which we have, by which we can see these other people and hear these sounds, these, this consciousness can be illuminated, so we can carry on daily life

[35:40]

being illuminated. But in the illumination our consciousness does not reach. In the actual way that things are working in their full radiance, consciousness does not reach. Consciousness which recognizes things does not reach. Therefore, words do not reach it. Words function in the realm of recognition, in the realm of thought construction. So in the chapter, chapter five, where you study the way the mind works, when there's illumination as to where the mind works, the way the mind works does not reach the illumination. In the illumination

[36:43]

there isn't any mind consciousness. Or apprehending consciousness, or storehouse consciousness, or sense consciousness, none of the consciousness, none of those consciousnesses reach the knowledge, the awareness of the Buddha. But those awarenesses which don't reach the illumination can be illuminated. If they couldn't, there would be no, it wouldn't be possible to realize a more harmonious world of subjects and objects. In the world of consciousness, Bodhidharma can give these instructions, and Huayka can struggle to understand them for seven years, and then he can come and say in the world of consciousness,

[37:43]

he can say, there is illumination here, I have no further involvements. And Bodhidharma can say, this isn't nihilism, is it? And he can say, no. And he can say, well, how is it? And he can say how it is, and Bodhidharma can say, have no further doubts. This is it. You knew this already, but I'm going through the formality of saying, it's not just you thinking so. All the Buddhas confirm you in your understanding. When we sit

[38:54]

in the zendo together, or do any practices together, but in particular, when we sit together, grasping or fixing on the form of sitting in the zendo, does not reach the principle of our sitting practice. And yet, we must grasp the form of sitting in order to come and sit together. The form of sitting does not reach the illumination of the sitting. But the illumination of the sitting can reach the sitting. I see you.

[40:10]

Oh, if you're leaving you can ask your question. You thought illumination is dependent on conditions? Is that what you said? You wonder about the nature of the illumination? You wonder about the nature of the illumination? When you hear the instruction, to not get involved

[41:42]

with conditions, that instruction to not get involved with conditions is an instruction by which you can test to see if you're doing the practice which will reveal to you the nature of illumination. So if you wonder about the nature of illumination, if you wonder about nature, then that instruction is the instruction of the ancestor for a person who has such a wondering as you. And hearing that instruction you can say every day every day you can say I wonder about the nature of illumination like you just did. And you can do that

[42:43]

for one year, seven years, seventy years. You can keep discussing the nature of your mind or the way your mind works and the way nature is. And the relationship between consciousness and nature of illumination. So part of the nature of illumination is that it entails discussion of mind and nature. Everything is dependent on conditions. There's nothing that exists that's not dependent on conditions. Existent

[43:45]

illumination depends on every existent thing depends on illumination. Non-existent illumination does not depend on conditions. That's correct. There's no such thing as all the non-existent things. But all existent things depend on conditions including illumination. And the Dharma which says that also depends on conditions. So is there... did you want to say anything before you go? Did you realize illumination? Yeah. At least you know

[44:47]

the conditions for the realization of illumination. So now you can just work on that until you have something to say. So now you can just work on that to say. Is emptiness non-existent? Is emptiness non-existent? Did you say is emptiness non-existent? Is that what you said? I didn't say that, but

[46:00]

there is a teaching like that that all phenomena are mind only. But emptiness if emptiness exists then it depends on conditions. And usually what we mean by emptiness is something that does depend on conditions. So the emptiness of Jackie depends on Jackie. So that emptiness could exist because it does depend on Jackie. Because although Jackie is impermanent she's always that way. She's always empty of Jackie. So in that sense emptiness exists in dependence on Jackie and exists in dependence on Jackie. And if Jackie

[47:02]

doesn't exist emptiness doesn't exist. There's not an emptiness of Jackie floating around waiting for Jackie. But when there's a Jackie there's an emptiness of Jackie. Pardon? No, there's also an emptiness of Reb. And an emptiness of Amanda. An emptiness of April. There's no There's no No, there's no Well, there's emptiness of Pebbles and there's emptiness of Mountains. There's no emptiness beyond impermanent phenomena or beyond emptiness. Emptiness depends on something. If it doesn't depend on something it doesn't exist. So there's no independently floating around wonderful big ultimate truth

[48:03]

emptiness. It is connected [...] to impermanent dependently co-arising things. And it is dependent co-arising but it's not impermanent because it's always the way all impermanent things are emptiness. They're all tied together with emptiness but emptiness never floats off away from these impermanent things. Because all things are always every impermanent thing is like that. So they're always like that. That's what I said. I said because all impermanent things are always permanently like that. Forever and always impermanent things always are empty. So in that sense emptiness is permanent. However, if you take away the impermanent things, you won't have any emptiness. So it's impermanent and yet it

[49:04]

arises, it is permanent yet it arises with and ceases with impermanent things. But it's permanent in the sense that all impermanent things are empty. You could also say that impermanence is permanent. You could say that too because impermanent things are always impermanent. So in a sense emptiness and impermanence are permanent. But still emptiness if it exists it's a dependent core arising. So it can't exist by itself, it exists in dependence on what it's the emptiness of. Okay? Thank you. It's not permanent,

[50:09]

no. It's not permanent. It's impermanent. So, it would seem any being, Buddha, something, however you want to name it, has a possibility to access that, yet there's an impermanence to it. It's a consciousness just to receive and employ and to be received and to be employed. Right. Okay? Yes. Is there any distinction between this impermanence that's dependent on the dependent core arising thing and that and the Buddha nature? Are you saying is there a

[51:09]

distinction between emptiness and Buddha nature? Yes. Buddha nature is not just the absence of inherent existence. That's not Buddha nature. However, in order to understand Buddha nature, we kind of need to understand emptiness. Otherwise, we might think Buddha nature, unless, you know, otherwise we might think Buddha nature, like other things, has some kind of inherent existence, but it doesn't. So Buddha nature, actually, Buddha nature is like what we really are, and we also are really empty, and we really are Buddha nature, but we first of all have to clear our eyes, clear our eyes with realization of emptiness before we can see Buddha nature correctly. But they're not

[52:10]

the same, Buddha nature and emptiness. Pardon? With emptiness. The realization of emptiness clears our eyes. When you can see emptiness, you see things clearly. Are you running your own practice? No, you're not. You're responsible for your activities, but you're also responsible for my activities. You're actually running, you're not running yourself at all, but you're running me somewhat. You're running me more than you're running yourself. Hmm? Because you don't produce yourself at all. You completely do not produce yourself, but you do sort of produce me, as you can see

[53:13]

quite clearly. But you don't produce yourself at all. So you don't run yourself at all. Yes, it is. It is an illusion. And the feeling that you're not making a decision is an illusion, too. I mean, you can respond, and you do. You can, and you do. You never don't. You just dream that you don't. Your mind just imagines, you know, a boundary on your responding. Aren't they all the same? They're all part

[54:15]

of one, aren't they? One big life. Hmm? What is really happening? That's what we're instructed to look for, what's happening. And as a basic context for the looking at what's happening, the basic context is, I am being supported by all beings, and all Buddhas are practicing together with me. And I'm supporting all beings, and nurturing all beings, and supporting all Buddhas. I hear that teaching. I listen to that teaching.

[55:16]

Now, you could say that's what's happening, actually, every morning when you get up. You could just say that. Right? As a matter of fact, I recommend you do say that when you get up in the morning. I recommend you say that. And by listening to that teaching when you get up, it doesn't mean that you're going to see that that's so. Like, oh, I see that's happening. But you tune into that teaching. And now, having tuned into that teaching, you can look to see is that so? As I get up now, am I being nurtured by all beings and nurturing all beings? And one more thing. One more important ingredient in this contemplation of what's happening, actually, is watch out for being too smart.

[56:20]

Smart enough to sort of say, well, is there some gain and loss here at this time in the morning? Am I going to gain something by doing this or that? Watch out for that. And try to, like, not get involved in that. Now you're set. Now you're set to look and realize what's actually happening. And the thought may arise of, I think I want to go and sit in meditation. I think I want to go back to sleep. I think now you're well-primed to look and see what that is. Is that thought that I want to go sit, is that a thought that is arising in the context of all Buddhas practicing together with me?

[57:23]

And is it a thought that's arising in the context of me nurturing all beings? Is this something that everybody's responsible for? It's happened. There's this impulse or actually now it's a decision. I'm deciding. I feel a decision to go and practice sitting. Did that happen through the support of all beings? Is that happening through the support of all beings? And does that support all beings? This is instruction to understand what's actually happening. That's the intention of this instruction, to understand what's actually happening. And you can say, this is not true.

[58:27]

This thought, this decision is not happening through being embraced and sustained by all beings, and it's not happening as embracing and sustaining all beings. It's not happening that way. It's just my decision which I'm making for myself. Right? But you know, you could notice that, and then you can say, now what's happening is, by thinking that way about my practice, I'm feeling pretty darn depressed. I'm feeling stressed and alone, and I kind of lost sight of what life's about by thinking that way. And now I'm scared, and I hate some people, including myself, and like some people, but I can't remember who they are because I feel so alone and frightened. I'm in hell. So one could observe this seems to be happening when I think I make my decisions all by myself. I find myself in hell.

[59:30]

I'm not really in hell, I just feel like I'm in hell because I think I can make decisions by myself. I'm actually trying that out. And I have the experience of many people coming to talk to me over the years who are in the process of making decisions by themselves, and they are in hell, usually, or, you know, vibrating in and out of hell as they contemplate making airplane reservations. Am I going to do the next practice period? This kind of stuff. Because they look at it like to this tiny, tiny, little, little tight little constricted twisted tiny little I'm going to make

[60:35]

decisions all by myself. I'm going to get credit in front of myself and nobody else is going to get responsible for it, that's all mine. Oh, my darling!" Well, we try it out. Then there's another one where, here I am, it's morning, it's noon, it's night, and a decision has arisen. I want to go to the bathroom. And I'm going to go to the bathroom. A decision has arisen, but I didn't do it all by myself. And I'm perfectly willing to test that by asking my spouse, is it okay if I go to the bathroom? I can also call

[61:38]

my teacher up and say, I'm thinking of going to the bathroom, what do you think? And the teacher may say, just a second, I'm going to check with all Buddhas. The answer is, go! Go! We're all with you! And you feel like, oh, this is great! I'm supported by all Buddhas in this decision. Plus, no gain. It's not like, oh, I'm going to go to the bathroom and get something out of this. I can measure how much of various things now, how much relief, how much output, how much loss of this and gain of that. No, no. The answer is to say, drop that too. Now, when this decision is about to arise or needs to arise, you feel the need for the decision to arise. All that, if you want to see what's

[62:40]

actually happening, it's recommended that you tune into, that you don't do things by yourself. You're not alone. You're practicing together with all the Buddhas. And decisions arise, but not by your power. Not by their power. The decisions arise by practicing together. They arise from the interdependence, not from them. They are conditions. All the Buddhas are conditions. All beings are conditions for everything that happens to you. The one thing that's not a condition is you. You're a condition for me, but not for yourself. Pardon? Pardon? Do I ever? I always do before I get there.

[63:46]

And you and I are both responsible for everything, for every decision that arises in you. We're both responsible. You can respond to decisions that arise in you, and I can respond to decisions that arise in you. And with this vision, in this Samadhi, there's no limits of my responsibility, and there's no limits of your responsibility, just like there's no limits of Buddha's responsibility. Yes? Is there a you and me? Is there a you and me? Yes, there is. And we're practicing together. You're practicing with me, and I'm practicing with you. I exist in dependence on you, and you exist in dependence on me. We're mutually assisting each other in this vision. And everything that you experience

[65:04]

is dependent on me, and you're grateful to me, to your life. And even if your life is painful, you're still grateful to me in this vision, and I'm grateful to you in this vision, even if I'm in great pain. This is the vision of total emancipation. And there is you and me, and you and me together are living and experiencing various things. I have a feeling when you're talking about the responsibility, I'm responsible for what you are doing, that this I which is responsible for that is not the I which my illusion usually

[66:07]

makes up. It's okay if you forget that one, that one that you're making up. It's fine with me, forget it. Well, no, you forgot it. However, I'm still here looking at you, and you're responding to me. You actually are responding to me. You're smiling at me, you're frowning at me, you're laughing at me, you're interacting with me, you're responding to me. You never stop responding to me, never. We're always responding to each other. And we can forget about an I that's doing it, or we can remember an I that's doing it, we're still responding to each other. We can be deluded or not deluded, but we're still responding to each other. We can be enlightened or not enlightened, but we're still working together. Just a question of enlightenment means you wake up to that, and you understand it. Before

[67:13]

you understand it, listen to it. Before you understand the Dharma, just listen to it. Just tune into that station and see if you like it. I like it. I like being in the station of where, not that I'm not responsible for what I do, I am, but where I'm not doing it by myself, where you're doing it with me, and you're responsible for what I do too! And I would like it if you would get over thinking you're not responsible for me. I'd like you to get over that. And I'd like to get over my thinking I'm not responsible for you. I would like to enter the samadhi where what you do I feel responsible for. Not getting credit for it, like if you do something good I get credit for it, or if you do something bad I get credit for it, but where I'm responsible for everything you do. So to some extent,

[68:19]

when you love someone and you feel responsible for what they do, that's pretty close to the samadhi of our school. Pardon? Yeah, that was it. You restated it. They cease with me. The mountains exist in dependence on me, and the mountains exist in dependence on you. That's the samadhi, which, when we enter it, we will understand the wondrous world of harmony

[69:30]

and peace among beings. It's the samadhi in which we will realize the Buddha nature and realize emptiness. It's the samadhi in which we will be able to understand ultimate truth and clear our vision. Even while we still have partially clear vision or quite obscured vision, we can still enter this samadhi, and in this samadhi we will realize all the Buddhadharmas. So Dogen says, I said at the beginning, concerning the Buddhadharma there are ten million things I have not yet understood. However, I do have the joy of correct faith. Correct faith is, you listen to this teaching, you tune into this station, and you practice not from, I'm practicing alone, even though you may still think that. You practice from listening to the teaching, I'm not practicing alone. Others are practicing with me and I'm

[70:32]

practicing with them. Other people's life are my life. Other people's welfare is my welfare. My welfare is their welfare. I am nurturing all beings, all beings are nurturing me. This is the awareness in which we will study and understand all the great things. Any response to this question, kind of studying your situation of feeling cramped when it comes to being able to see a lot. It doesn't seem automatic that in studying you're not

[71:44]

relaxed, and you have another coat there, kind of, not open. What you said was quite really open, so I didn't know if you wanted to bring that to any point or anything. Open, open, open. Did you want to bring it to a point so I can, like, push it back at you or anything? A wondering. One thing I'd like to respond to is when you feel tight around something, like, okay, here comes a decision and I feel like I've got to make it all by myself. Also, you don't make yourself feel like you've got to make the decision all by yourself, by yourself. All beings support you to feel narrow-minded

[72:47]

about your decisions. So when you're feeling tight about some activity, like you're feeling like, I've got to do this all by myself and I'm the only one who's responsible for it, when you feel like that, even that you didn't make by yourself. Your parents contributed to you being that way by giving you, you know, human chromosomes. Yes? What about, like, great determination, great patience? Great determination, great patience, what about them? Well, how does that fit into all of those things? How does it fit in? Yes. Well, if there's not great determination, then all sentient beings and all Buddhists are supporting you not to have great determination. Anybody here not have great determination?

[73:49]

One person, oh, you're not sure? It comes and goes. Let me know the next time it's not here. There's a third one, great doubt. Great doubt, yeah, so great doubt is similar to, I guess, you know, so there's great doubt, there's great determination, and there's great patience, and great wisdom, and great compassion, and great fear. So all these things, when they're present, they're there because you are embraced and sustained by all beings. I'm saying, check that out. When they're not there, you also are embraced and sustained by all beings to not have great determination. So, like, I don't see any great determination around here. Maybe that person's got it, but I don't feel like it's over here.

[74:54]

However, I do have the joy of the Samadhi, that all beings are supporting me to now play the role of the guy who does not have great determination. I got, like, some determination, but not much, or I got zero, whatever, anyway, whatever I am is supported. I'm not making myself all by myself, and whatever I am, you are responsible. If I've got low-grade patience, you're responsible, and so am I. I'm responsible for my low level of patience. And my low level of patience is not that much fun for me, actually. I've had moments like that. It wasn't fun. But during those moments when I had low level of patience and it wasn't fun for me,

[76:03]

it wasn't fun for you either. I was responsible for those moments long ago. And you were, too? Even though some of you weren't born yet, you were responsible? Now, most of the time, I have quite a bit of patience. And people come and say, �Thank you so much for your patience!� And I say, �Thank you! Thank you for giving me the opportunity to develop it. Now, I'm saying this to you, but what I mean is, this is the instruction of our school. I'm proposing to you that this is the instruction of how to practice.

[77:07]

That whatever level of patience you have, right now, if it's great, thank you very much to all beings for supporting my great patience. If it's not so great, and you're on the verge of getting angry and pushing beings away because you're losing your patience, also that is being supported by all beings and all Buddhas. Buddhas are practicing together with you when your patience is rocky and frat, you know. That's the context in which the patience will grow, and where your decisions will turn into Dharma doors. But if I'm practicing, trying to see how various things that are arising in my mind, tightness and decisions and pain, if I'm trying to understand what's going on, from the point of view of I'm practicing by myself,

[78:10]

I'm saying it will be very difficult to understand, because I'm looking at everything, basically just covering everything up by extreme incorrect understanding of what's going on. Yes. Yes. Yes. I don't feel that people... I thought that was...

[79:11]

well, you're responsible for taking responsibility, you're holding the phone down, etc. But if you're in teaching, what you're saying is actually the whole universe is responsible. They don't. Now, if you think they thought they weren't responsible, you can say that to them. You know, you could say, I don't think you think you're responsible. And then they can say, No, I do feel responsible. So everybody's responsible for what you did, but some of the people who maybe felt responsible for what you did weren't sure that you felt responsible. So maybe they said they wanted to point that out to you. But if you think anybody doesn't think that they're responsible, you can bring them to Dharma court and indict them for believing that they're not responsible for what you do.

[80:17]

And if I'm the judge, and it seems to be that they are actually not thinking they're responsible for what you're doing, then I will say, I feel responsible for you not feeling responsible for him. And he's responsible for you not feeling responsible for him. And you'll say, Totally, I'm totally responsible for these people not feeling responsible for me. And in this way, they will open to your way of feeling responsible. And everyone will start feeling and accepting their responsibility for you, for your life. We are responsible for your life, and you are responsible for us. You are nurturing us, we are nurturing you. This is our school's Samadhi. And if you think somebody is not in the Samadhi, you can talk to him about that.

[81:23]

But no matter how you talk to him about it, you will be responsible, and so will they. So we don't do anything by ourselves, and nobody else does it for us. But everybody supports us. Yes? But it's like a mirror, then. The way you get supported isn't the way you're supporting. I mean, what you have to give out is what... The way you get supported is like the way you're supporting? I mean, it's... Sort of, yeah, I mean... I mean, if you're being impatient and angry and ugly, then that might be what shows up for you. Might be, but often it's not. Because... It might be the only thing you can see. It might be the only thing you can see, but sometimes you see actually quite the opposite. So mirrors are... You know, we have this thing about

[82:25]

it is not you, but you're actually it. So, sometimes what wakes people up is that they see everybody as not on their side, as people not supporting them, and somebody comes up to them and says, You are totally right. Nobody's supporting you. And the person goes, Oh, my God. You agree with me? Everybody's being really stingy with me, and nobody's supporting me, and nobody's appreciating me. And the person says, Wow. You're right. And the person says, Oh, my God. Somebody's supporting me. And that person who says it to them might feel totally like... totally supported, and that person telling him that he's not being supportive of them and say, Wow. That's wonderful that you feel that way. I feel so supported by you telling me I'm not supportive of you. All kinds of possibilities.

[83:27]

All kinds of possibilities. Yes. In getting my hands around I'm responsible for you, can it also be said that I'm aware of the effects that I have on you and the effects, if I could be aware of all of the effects. Is there another piece to this? I think that you being aware of all the effects you have upon me is sort of not not in the curriculum at this time. Don't worry about that part. I don't think we can see that yet. How do I get to the... I'm trying to understand the full picture of the responsible. Well, it's kind of... Trying to understand the full picture is fine. And this... the mode of feeling responsible for you is the mode in which I will understand someday the things you're interested to understand.

[84:31]

I think it's wonderful that you want to understand that stuff. But at present the main thing is that you don't infect that desire with a gaining idea. And that you enter into the feeling in the awareness that you are being supported in the study which you're interested in. And you are supporting others in their studies. In that context you will understand these things you're interested in understanding. But to try to understand these things before you enter this context it's going to be you all by yourself. If you haven't entered this samadhi yet it's going to be you all by yourself trying to take on Buddha's omniscience. Well, you can't... you're not going to have much of a chance if you don't enter Buddha's world. First enter Buddha's world and then go to class there. And Buddha will teach you the ten million things that Dogen didn't understand. And you'll be going to class with Dogen in this samadhi. He's still studying

[85:33]

with Shakyamuni and all the other deceased ancestors. They're all still studying in this same place. And they're studying with us. They're supporting us. And us receiving that support makes their support come alive. In that realm of meditation we love to study these kinds of things you're bringing up. We love to study. Well, what consequences am I having on you right now? And you can say, Well, I feel this way and that way, and I feel supported or unsupported. But because I feel supported by you and I feel like I want to support you, I feel supported by you and I'm meditating on how I'm receiving your support and your nurturance, and I'm also paying attention, that's the way I want to be with you. When you tell me about my effects on you, which aren't so good sometimes, I'm interested, you know, and open to listen to you. And so we can inquire into the complexities of our relationship because of the environment

[86:34]

that we live in is appreciated. So I'm trying to induct myself together with you into the practice that we're doing together, and in that context we enjoy studying everything. But we must have this this view, I think, plus dropping away the gaining idea in the field, which includes noticing that it's there a lot, confessing it and letting it drop. So we just keep cleaning the field of the seeds of suffering and studying in the field until we understand it, listening to this teaching, hearing this teaching until we understand it. But again, it's not being broadcast

[87:38]

as much as it could be broadcast. I'm not listening to this as much as I could listen to it. I could be listening to it eventually non-stop, so then I could have what we call continuity. Practice like a fool, like an idiot, like a fool, you know, like, hey, I'm going to be devoted to everybody? Are you kidding? Are you crazy, man? Everybody's supporting me? Are you nuts? I'm going to act like everybody's my friend, and I want to be a friend to everyone. Are you crazy? Looks like it, doesn't it? So try that out, and you will be in the Buddha Samadhi. And then, we want to get continuity in that. But as you will notice, if you try to practice this way, you'll notice that it's hard to have continuity in it, because as I said, as soon as somebody throws a spitball,

[88:47]

you kind of like forget it and concentrate on the spitball rather than the Buddha ball. So you've got to like always be throwing the Buddha ball up and down while you catch the other balls. And then, of course, you can be throwing this up and lose track of it even while you're catching the other balls, so you have to start flipping them back and forth so that every ball could be a Buddha ball. This person could be a Buddha ball. This person could be a Buddha ball. Everybody could be the Buddha ball. When it's that way, then you've got continuity. And this is called the host within the host. Now we're really cooking. But it's hard to get to that point where everybody that comes to you is like a Buddha ball, a Buddha ball, a Buddha ball, like Buddha dharma, [...] Buddha dharma. Nurturing Buddha's milk, Buddha's nectar

[89:48]

coming to me through this person, through this person, through this pain, through this tight feeling, through this decision. Whatever is coming is the Buddha dharma. It takes a while to get there, so it's like that all the time. That's the samadhi. Whatever is coming is the Buddha dharma, and it's that way moment after moment. Of course it's that way by definition, right? But are you tuned in to that station? The answer is, I do sometimes forget, and then I confess, and that melts away, and then I come back. Hello! Here I am. Hi, Buddha dharma! Wow! Hello! Buddha dharma looks like this! Oh my God, it's amazing! Buddha dharma looks like this person, this wonderful old grandson trying to hit me with a hammer. Oh my God! Buddha dharma! Move the hammer over there, please. Ha ha ha!

[90:51]

Will! Thank you! Ha ha ha! You're thinking that? Uh huh. We don't know if there's any rocks in Jupiter, but you can think that. Sure. That is definitely one of the ways it's supported. Ha ha ha! But I also supported you. I didn't knock the toothbrush out of you either. Don't forgive me! And Jane supported you too, right? She was like, you know, I could see her, she was holding back. We were coming down the path, you know, and she says,

[91:54]

I'm going to go knock that toothbrush out of the guy's head. I said, Jane, Jane, leave him alone! That boy needs to brush! And she said, I really feel supported by you. Thank you. What? You feel like you gained something? I support you in feeling that way. It's totally wrong, but, you know, you planted a seed, a seed of, a seed of suffering has been planted. And not by you, though. I supported you. We all supported you in planting that seed.

[92:30]

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